A story Nikolai had never planned to tell anyone came to mind immediately. A tale he would have never confessed to anyone, even if requested on the topic. But now, a silent realization that what Nikolai had felt was nothing to be ashamed about. He grins and clears his throat.
“Once upon a time, there was a time when our world knew the scent of gunpowder better than that of the grass. The shine of gun metal better than the sun. During this time period, everyone, and I mean everyone, was fighting some kind of war with each other. I grew up in this, I lived through this. And so has my heart.” Looking away, he took a deep breath before continuing on.
“I fell for one of my fellow soldiers at a terrible time. Regardless, it was not the other persons fault but my own. I grew fond of them very quickly and didn’t know what to do with these feelings. I had been taught all my life that this was wrong to feel. And even without confessing, they knew this feeling I had towards them. It was a terrible situation all in all… But they truly made me feel special inside.”
“However, things had changed. We grew apart, I believe. The tide of war shifted and so did I, being moved from one location to the other. I never heard from them again and I expect I never will.” The grin has easily been wiped off his face and replaced with a shamed and somber expression. “It will hurt for as long as I remember this person.” From here on, Nikolai couldn’t keep still. “I can tell you that I will never forget them. But what good will that do?”
“Instead, I should also tell you I had come around to being fond of the feeling. Validity comes with all feelings. And that is something I had learned from this comrade. Of course, it will hurt. But with hurt comes experience. With their loss, came validity.” Nikolai smiles and wipes away the incoming tears without notice.
“Your feelings matter just as much as theirs do. A fact we will all have to come to realize sooner or later.”
“But it is a part of discovering who you are. And eventually be part of who you will become.”
I saw something on here that I found so funny. Once I was talking to this dude and our conversation slowly steered towards video games,he seem genuinely surprised when i said im a gamer. He proceeded to ask what platform I use/prefer and games I play..then it happen. Now I understand everyone has their games/platforms they love for whatever reason ( lol this petty which console/game is better argument is childish). Told him I love and still play Dance dance revolution/Spyro/Bushido Blade and Soul Caliber( I mainly play the older generation stuff..im uh oldies fan by heart ♡)…This dude told me I’m not a gamer because apparently REAL GAMERS play none of those games.True gamers play Street fighter,Mortal Kombat,Tekken,COD..some other stuff I can’t recall but I remember thinking “…WOW mf this is the exact reason no girl will tell you she plays! ”. After listening to him rant about why his games are “superior” he said we should hang out sometime,I’ll show you how/what real gamer girls play". You can go fuck yourself sir. What happened to simply enjoying a game?Where is it said that you can only play certain video games to be considered a “gamer” and that that title only applies to boys,not girls ?? Why do dudes act surprised that we play?! I don’t understand..