This is so stressful. And there is no chocolate in the house. And I am so stressed. I am so stressed. Do you know how stressed I am?
I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you how stressed I am. I am so stressed and so desperate for chocolate that I just ate RAW COCOA OUT OF A TIN and a single tear escaped my left eye and rolled slowly down my cheek and into the cocoa because it tasted as bitter as my faith in all that was once pure in the world.
And I ate that cocoa. I ate that raw cocoa like the fool that I am. I sat and listened to the news anchors try to maintain their composure as the country warped itself into a dystopian nightmare in which it’s perfectly acceptable to eat raw, bitter cocoa out of a tin because you’ve lost all sense of meaning in your life.