moriarty in tab like “lol u kno dust is mostly human skin. im edgy” like ok bitch the second main component of dust is cockroach dander. but hey keep eatin that shit u do u

if u had told me last month that i would be getting anonymous cissexist hate on a blog dedicated to shitposting abt frogs i would probably have beleived you because transphobes are like fucking cockroaches except you can’t even feed them to ur pets

*Me to my therapist* “Anyway, I finally figured out why that online stalker bothered me so much.”

*Her* “So…”

*Me* “Because he was dumb. Because he was dumb. Mad, screechy and hysterical. Stupid. Just stupid. A dumbass with a two-digit IQ. And because me, an intelligent woman, should have never let him get to me in the first place. I’ve written dissertations on Thomas Pynchon! I should have been stronger. I’m more angry at myself than anything. I let a cockroach worm its way into my head.”

  • @seabass:He’s not scared of me. He’s scared of the family of roaches I found under your fridge.
  • @marktmcconnell:Don't talk bad about them. Baby Billy the Cockroach is about to go to pre-school and it's a stressful time for them.

Here is this week’s Fic Rec!!! 

1. Autopilot (11k) by silkbombs (mulberrygrey)

Tumblr: @silkbombs

Louis accidentally sends an unknown number a video of him giving a cockroach a funeral. The weirdest love story ensues.

2. Am I More Than You Bargained For Yet? (46k) by AFangirlFantasy

Tumblr: @afangirlfantasy

“It sounds to me like the people you’ve allowed to be a part of your life, don’t deserve even a fraction of a minute of it.” As they repeat over and over, Harry calls out to fate and destiny, asking them why that can’t be true? Why can’t Harry be deserving of love? Why can’t Harry be as special as Louis argues he is? Louis’ beliefs ring in Harry’s mind like the most hopeful of gospels, and Harry wants to proclaim them as his new religion. But when his hands reach out into the vast emptiness of his flat to grab them, to grab Louis, there’s only a shard of a memory to clutch onto.


AU where Harry doesn’t know what it means to be in love, and Louis’ still in love with somebody else.

3. Finding You Was So Hard (But Loving You Is Easy) (66k) by togetherwecouldbealright

Tumblr: @lourrynavy

An incredibly shameless vampire!AU filled with stupid jokes, endless dates, flappy bird, a bro man dude pal sleepover thing and there also might be some sex in strange places.

Also known as the one where everyone is a vampire, Louis is oblivious and somewhere along the way it becomes a bit too much like Twilight.

Then a string of thoughts make themselves clear in Louis’ head. First, Harry is a vampire. Second, Louis is a dumbass. Third, Louis is also unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. Fourth, he’s pretty sure he just quoted the back of the Twilight book.

4. Wild And Unruly (123k) by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews

Tumblr: @100percentsassy, @gloriaandrews

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

5. You You You (137k) by isthatyoularry

Tumblr: @isthatyoularry

“Infamous boybander leaves club together with unknown,” read the headline. Underneath were pictures of a boy with dark curls, green eyes and very tight pants. They both studied the article for a moment, reading it through quickly.
“Is that…?” Louis frowned. That guy almost looked exactly like… “HOLY FUCKING SHIT!”
“Louis,” Niall said, looking absolutely fucked over. “You just fucked the most wanted guy on earth. You just fucked Harry Styles of One Direction.”

Or, the one where Harry and Louis meet at a club and Louis takes Harry home, only for him to realize that the boy who just made him breakfast half naked is Harry Styles from One Direction.

Hate Me Today

Originally posted by sunrisejared

Pairing: Past DeanxReader
Word count: 1,339
Warnings: Angst, mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of drunk driving
Request: Anonymous. can i request a song fic with dean for the song hate me today by blue october plls and thhhx
Tagging at the end

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you loved me, just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

If you hated me, I would understand. Hell, if I was in your shoes, I’d loathe myself. It was rare that I let your face slip into my thoughts. I did everything in my power to put up a wall, to never, ever think of you. Because, when U did, everything came rushing  back. I would lose myself. They would multiply. One by one, the smallest memory would give birth to more, and soon, I was overrun with them. All it did was make me look around and realize that memories were all I had. You weren’t there to hold me close at night, to make me feel alright. All I ever wanted for you was happiness, a good life. Selfishly, I wanted my phone to ring. I wanted to see your name light up my phone. Yet, fear consumed those thoughts. Fear that you would tell me it was all a lie, the love was never real. I only had myself to blame. I was the one that pushed you away.

Keep reading

I’m all for positivity for differnt kinds of people but I’m tired of every MLM or trans man positivity post i see being like UR A CUTE BOY!! A SOFT WUWWUW BABBY BOY SMOL AN DSWEET URUUWUU UR  VALID like

can I exist as a slimy cockroach motherfucker who is also gay and trans like tumblr will you let me have this for five minutes without calling me a “sweet cute prince boy” or some such shit 

anonymous asked:

I'm looking for a Tentoo/Rose fic, but for the life of me I can't remember its name. Rose starts hearing a voice which she thinks is the Doctor's, but it's really the Master, who was tricking her so that he could invade her mind and make it slowly begin shutting down. She has hallucinations of (I think??) cockroaches and eventually, Tentoo strands himself on another planet with the Master. It was multi-chapter, and I seem to remember reading it on tumblr or livejournal (not 100% on that though)

We’re stumped! Anyone know?

anonymous asked:

If you could have written Cap 3, what would the plot be?

are you prepared for this anSWER

actually I would have had it wrap up the Cap trilogy like it was supposed to. A close. A summation, with a new Cap at the end. (Whether that ends with Steve retiring/taking up the identity of Nomad or whatever, or dying depends.)

That Cap would be Sam Wilson, because MCU Bucky is not ready.

Baron Helmut Zemo is the heir to a nazi, he has not forgotten inside his sprawling estate, once the countryside of Sokovia. Much like his cockroach kind, however, he has gone to the shadows to scheme. Hydra has fallen….in America. In Europe, it is alive and well and like many rich men, he has his hands in everything. Everything but the Winter Soldier, who always manage to slip out of the grasp of the men sent after him.

James Buchananan Barnes lost his right to exist the first time they wipe his mind. His arm is Hydra, he is Hydra. Zemo does not tolerate deserters. 

(How satisfying it would be, to have Captain America begging at his feet for the life of his friend. Delightful, to have them in his grasp, the Captain and the Soldier. A matched set. He wants them and he will have them.)

Across the ocean, Steve Rogers sits in a room tangled in digital webs, faces of long dead enemies glaring down at him. Beside him Tony works on a new project, a device that projects memories, that helps with trauma. Bucky is just one piece of a puzzle that has poisonous claws in everything. Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.

Steve cut off a head and hundreds took its place, more powerful and insidious than ever before. There are circles under his eyes, face wan and beard growing in. Even Wanda cannot get him to rest, his mind a confusing mess of faded memories and clear nightmares. (The vast darkness of the years under the ice is too much, even for her power, and one risks getting lost in it should you try.)

They are losing. People are dying, and the people want someone to blame.

(Deep beneath a manor in Europe, Crossbones makes a deal. Grinding Steve Rogers beneath his heel will be so simple, the man is weak in so many ways.) 

Where to lure them? Where to put the blame? What will put the entire world on edge, gather world leaders together?

Keep reading