BoKuroo headcanon dump because I’m trash and I suck
On April Fools, Kuroo stole all of Bokuto’s hair gel.
They call each other “sweetie” “darling” “sugar pie” and other sappy shit and see which one of their boyfriends gets pissed off first
Bokuto gave Kuroo a cat plushie for his birthday, and, on Bokuto’s birthday, an owl plushie was waiting for him on his doorstep so they could match.
One of their favorite pastimes is going out in Kuroo’s car, rolling the windows down, playing songs and yelling the lyrics out as loud as they can as they drive down the road.
They both have Vine accounts, and tag the videos of all of the stupid/funny things they do under the hashtag #justbrothings
Bokuto is very easily distracted, and makes a simple trip to the grocery store a 4-hour exhibition that ends with the two of them getting kicked out of the local zoo for attempting to steal a great horned owl
When Kuroo was just getting to know Bokuto, when he first saw Bokuto with his hair wet/not spiky, he audibly screamed becAU S E W HAT THE HEKC
Bokuto has a very memey sense of humor but Kuroo literally looses it when he sees/hears the word ‘succ’
Speaking of laughing, everyone in the neighborhood knows when the two are together because their apartment sounds like a hyena and an owl are coughing their lungs out
The two literally sucked each other’s dicks ‘just to see what it felt like’
They once saw who can chug two liters of Coca-Cola and it ended with Bokuto getting his hecckin stomach pumped
They play with each other’s hair ALL THE TIME it’s kinda weird
They like to do shitty prank calls to all of their teammates but everyone knows who’s calling within the first five seconds of the call because of the distant cackling in the background
Bokuto can’t sing. no. nope. not a note. bUT HE CAN RAP LIKE HELL
when Kuroo is mad he acts like a pissed off cat, i.e. looks Bokuto deadass in the eye, grabs a vase or something and smashes it in front of him with no remorse in his eyes whatsoever
They both got piercings together, Bokuto has a helix piecing, and Kuroo has two lobe piercings on each ear.
the randomest words can make them laugh, like, it’ll be completely silent and then Kuroo just whispers “cucumbers” or “deluxe toe gaps” and they’re both dead
NOW FOR SOME FLUFFY/RELATIONSHIP SHIT
Because Bokuto is a l0zer, he couldn’t grow the balls to tell Kuroo “I love you”, so he learned how to say it in German instead. After Kuroo figured out what he had said, he had informed Bokuto on how fitting and sexy he sounded when speaking German.
Kuroo is very sensitive around the waist area, so Bokuto likes to torture him by grabbing it and running his hands down it in public.
While being confronted, someone asked Kuroo “what are you, gay?”. Bokuto, being right next to him at the time, stuck a middle finger at him, grabbed Kuroo in a dip, answered “YES”, and proceeded to make out with him.
Poor Bokuto can’t stay still when he’s trying to go to sleep, so sometimes, Kuroo forcefully holds him against him to keep him still, pressing kisses to his forehead every so often.
Kuroo sounds like a kitten when he sneezes. The first time Bokuto heard it, he dropped everything and ‘AWW’d at maximum volume, making sure that every single one of his teammates knew that his boyfriend is adorable. It was in the middle of a semi-final match.
Bokuto has a very muscular, very prominent, very FINE ass. Kuroo likes to squish it while making obnoxious sound effects.
Due to Bokuto’s mind going a mile a minute, he suffers from breakdowns when he can’t get anything through and becomes very frustrated. Tears are streaming down his face, he’s stuttering and hiccuping, and clenching his fists like crazy. The first time Kuroo witnessed one of these episodes, he nearly started crying too.
The first time the two got in a fight, Bokuto was hammered after a night at the bar and Kuroo was really pissed off at an event in volleyball. The night ended with Bokuto crying in his pillow and Kuroo laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, wanting to take back every breath he had uttered back then. When Kuroo woke the next morning, he had 17 apology messages from Bokuto, one nearly a paragraph long, along with 2 or 3 memes to cheer him up.
When Bokuto was finally diagnosed with BPD, he called up Kuroo on his way back from the psychologist, voice breaking with every word. Kuroo had met him at home with a massive bear hug, and a big bottle of Mountain Dew (Bokuto’s favorite soda).