So I think me and this cockroach are bonding. 

I went out to the garage to smoke and I happened to look over and see him sitting there. I assumed he was dead, so I blew a gust of harmless air at him and he moved, so I knew he wasn’t.

But then he just sat there so I started talking.

The beginning of a beautiful friendship.

assbutt-of-the-tiger replied to your postassbutt-of-the-tiger replied to…

no I’m not even gonna roleplay with you. you don’t deserve it. suck my throbbing dick, I am out **throws head back and shrieks and flies off into the mesosphere**

gee how classy

look guys i have the classiest kismatesprit around donchu know

C'mon, you know I have to antagonize you with appreciative gestures of kindness and thoughtfulness. I’m just a cruel-hearted person like that, you know? 

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