cobainsdaily

hi okay, so my photoshop doesn’t work so i can’t make a header so here’s a picture of hendrix okay so this is my follow forever sorry~ thank you guys for making this year extra special (:

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2

In 1993, Kurt Cobain looked at me and said
- I can even kill me. But if I kill me, I will become a product even more interesting for that bitch industry.

- Commented Kurt Cobain in the afternoon we spent talking in Rio de Janeiro. The year was 1993. I met the lead singer of Nirvana in the late morning, at the exit of the defunct Hollywood Rock festival stage. The band had just done the sound check.

He looked at my press badge (at the time I produced and hosted a weekly program of alternative rock in the Fluminense FM radio) and scowled. I dropped my camera, took my badge and said,

- Man, I do not want to interview you not. I just want to beat a chat with you about music, fanzines (newspapers handmade and copied on xerox machines) guitar pedals.

I was sincere. As much as I was sure that I would lose my job and my reputation as a journalist to not interview the biggest pop star in the world at the time, what interested me at the time was the same music, fanzines (which is nonetheless journalism), and sounds guitar pedals.

things as reputation, career, money, fame, did not interest me.

Yes, I’ve been a more stupid person.

Yes, I used to be a better person.

Maybe this was why Kurt Cobain replied, very carefree way:

- Come on.

Since then, “it”, the reader of this column know, is my favorite word.

Kurt Cobain was a teenager. Had was 26 (I was 21) but, emotionally, was 15. Did not object to me to take to the chat in the hotel Intercontinental, half a dozen friends. He loved the confusion this caused with the security arrangements of the band.

Besides music, zines and guitar pedals, also spent the afternoon talking about the pain of living. The guy just could not hold a conversation without ending up talking about their pain. And attempts to placate them with drugs.

Everyone there were very young, we also had our pains and some of us experienced more drugs as heavy as those that Kurt was dealing at that time. I, for one, spoke of my youth discoveries with morphine.

Since he said that he took heroin because it is lighter than morphine. And that was taking heroin since they became successful. Before, he said, there was hurt, but placable with alcohol. From the moment he had to face the showbiz, the pain became unbearable:

- Pain do shows to 100,000 people dressed in the shirt of your band and who do not care for what you are trying to say with his music. Are fans only for fashion - complained.

- Pain see all kids be manipulated by the entertainment industry and I find that deep down I am myself a tool, an instrument of domination of the kids used by the industry. - Sorry.

- Pain see my image exploited by my management, my wife, my family. And there’s nothing I can do. - Revealed.

- But what turns me is to have no real reason to be sad. After today I have a band, I have money, fame, I am adored by crowds. I feel ungrateful. Today I am sadder than when I was a nobody, a nothing, in my city.

He picked up the guitar and said, let me show this song draft I’m writing.

It touched almost all the song “Frances Farmer will have her revenge on Seattle.”

He emphasized the verse “I miss the comfort in being sad” - something that reflected my head at the time as “I miss the time when I really had reason to be sad.”

He added:

- The first thing I did in the morning here in Rio was flying hang gliding. From up there, seeing this color of the sky, that huge favela (Rocinha) with people living in it, clearly surviving by simple will to live, and I thought, what a great city! If I lived here I would not have the head as buzzing as I have.

It will be? I wondered. The phrase “If Kurt Cobain were Rio he would be alive today?” Is it possible

I thought of the great Rio composers and lyrics as sadder than Nirvana. I thought of Nelson Cavaquinho singing “Take your smile the way I want to spend with my pain.”

Concluded at the time, and told Kurt that sorrows are often used as a comfortable shield to prolong our immaturity. And that immaturity is a pass out doing stupid things around. That is, a comfort.

Kurt nodded, seeming to be very disappointed with himself:

- Exactly. Some people do not have the strength and courage to mature. To stop complaining of everything rather than act on it.

I think of how today, in 2015, all I see on the streets, on the internet, everywhere, is people complaining.

One year after our meeting, Kurt Cobain committed suicide. We were all very young and did not understand that depression is a disease, which takes place in Seattle, in Rocinha, in rich, in poor. Kurt Cobain was not a sad boy. He was a sick boy, undiagnosed, untreated logo.

The entire conversation was recorded on video, but with the lens capped camera for me. I said I just wanted the audio to remember well all that was said, and I was not interested me ownership of your image.

Cover the camera lens was perhaps the stupidest thing I ever did in life.

But it certainly is the thing I’m most proud of having done in life.

The words yes, possibly became a special issue of Bizz magazine deceased, then the audio broadcast on MTV, I think it was after the Great, perhaps years later published in the Rolling Stone American, I do not know. I never cared. I was not rich or famous to this meeting.

I was rich else would understand only many years later.

All this to give a satisfaction because I have not written in any previous column anything about Montage of Heck, this documentary about the life of Kurt that just came out poster in Rio de Janeiro.

I had not seen or will see the movie.

Why not me out of my head the phrase, “If I kill myself, I will become a product more interesting for that bitch industry.”

Maybe I’m still a stupid person.

Maybe I’m still a good person.

Report and interview conducted by the Brazilian journalist of the newspaper O Globo, Dodo Azevedo. Photo: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, in 1993.

Nirvana Live at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington, for a Halloween party held in one of the bedrooms, on October 30, 1988.

The band covered in fake blood and into the Halloween theme. This was a small show for maybe about 50 people. It was also the first live show in which Kurt Cobain broke his guitar (which is now on display at EMP Museum in Seattle, as seen in the image below).

the setlist of this show:

School. LoveBuzz (cover, original by Shocking Blue), Floyd The Barber, Spank Thru, Big Cheese, Hairspray Queen, Mr. Moustache, Sifting, Mexican Seafood, Aero Zeppelin, Run, Rabbit, Run! (cover, original by Smack) Immigrant Song (cover, originally by Led Zeppelin) and Blew.