coat of many colors

I’ve said it before, and I’m saying it again...

Slytherpuff may well be my favorite House combination (because of its unexpectedness, because of its total defiance of the main stereotypes of both Houses), and Dolly Parton may well be my favorite Slytherpuff.

When it comes to her job and her ambition, she’s driven and tough as nails.  Well known in the country music scene for being tough as nails too.  She always knew she wanted to be a famous singer, and she’s always done whatever she had to do to make that happen in a very competitive business.  People underestimate her because of her looks – in that respect, she reminds me of a lot of extreme femmes I’ve known or know of – but she’s got a remarkable head for business and she’s managed to retain control of her life and her creativity in an industry that, especially at the time she was coming up, was heavily male-dominated.  People ignore this at her peril.  And that’s her Slytherin side all over(1).

But in her heart, she’s all heart.  She sings from the heart, can’t sing in any other way.  And she is incredibly sentimental, to the point that it can seem fake, especially to people who are cynical about such things in general.  But if there’s something I’ve learned about things like that – sometimes the most fake-looking things are real and the most real-looking things are fake, because we’re trained not to look beyond certain stereotypes of how, say, sincerity should appear.  But I’ve known more than one person – closely, even – who when they get sincere, also get sentimental, and their writing when they are determined to show that sincerity… it can look a little big on the purple prose, both in word choice and in emotional connotations of their words and actions.  And these things, and more, arevery Hufflepuff.

That doesn’t cover it all by a longshot.

But anyway – the point of this post:  If you ever want to see a Slytherpuff child in action, you could hardly do better than to watch the two movies about Dolly Parton’s early life, which she had a huge hand in creating: Coat of Many Colors, and its sequel, Dolly Parton’s Christmas of Many Colors: Circle of Love.

I don’t know how they found that little girl to play young Dolly, but she’s perfect.  And she, like Dolly herself, does a good job of showing why Slytherin doesn’t automatically mean evil, and how Slytherin and Hufflepuff aren’t the opposites people imagine them to be.  It’s not the most common House combination, but it exists for a reason.

I’m a Hufflepuff who’s fairly low on Slytherin traits, but that doesn’t mean I can’t admire them in other people.  People sometimes get the impression that I think Hufflepuff is the best House.  No, it’s more like I like it a lot since it’s my House, and I talk about it a lot because it’s underrated and underestimated.  But I like the uniqueness of every House, every House combination, and each person in each House fitting the qualities in their own unique ways that reflect how even within each House there’s a ton of diversity.  

And finally, one of my favorite Dolly Parton quotes:

“I hope people realize that there is a brain underneath the hair and a heart underneath the boobs! ;)” 

-Tweeted by @DollyParton at 10:56 AM 23 Dec 2013, Retweets: 2,638, Likes: 3,042, Replies: 478.

In other words, never underestimate someone for being, or appearing (to you), extremely feminine.  

(1) People often assume ambition means a lust for power, or they think of the kind of desire for fame that she often had.  And they tend to regard Slytherin ambition as something tainted with evil at all times.  But in reality, having an ambition is just wanting to do something and having certain standards for what you want to accomplish.  It can be private or public, it can be big or small.  When you have a goal and work towards it with determination, that’s ambition whether anyone else even knows it exists or not.  I’m not the most ambitious person in either sense, but I’m certainly not as devoid of ambition as some people would imagine.  It’s just that when I have ambitions, they’re personal and I mostly keep them to myself.  They’re not a defining element of my character the way they are for Slytherins.  But they’re not absent either.  If you’re ever confused about how your friend is a Slytherin when they don’t have cartoonish-style power ambitions, it may be that they’re an intensely goal-driven person, just not in a public way.

Dolly Parton


Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors

Every night, night after night that she stayed up puttin’ piece after piece into that coat was sown with love. It was like, Dolly, with every stitch that she was mending our family’s broken hearts. Your mama’s heart holds all the love for our family, Dolly. And her heart’s strong… but it can be broken.

Biblical Figures/Events as Vines

Creation: Look at all these chickens

Adam and Eve:   Chris is that a weed?

Cain and Abel: What the FUCK is up Kyle? No Dude What did you say. What the FUCK Dude, Step the FUCK up Kyle.

Lot’s Wife turning into a Pillar of Salt: Oh my God! Girl come see this they got a ramen Noodle exhibit, you know thats your favorite.  Be careful children thats a lot of sodium.

Noah: “Happy Birthday Raven!” “I can’t swim!”

Moses found in the River: *footsteps* “…Daddy?” “DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR-”

The 10 Plagues: *Beach umbrellas tumbling wild down a beach while AWOLNATION’s “Run” plays*

Moses and the 10 Commandments:  Look at this Graph!

Joshua and the Wall at Jericho:  Y-your- Your dis-disrespecting a future US Army soldier!

Job: *the Chihuahua that gets bags of chips dumped on him*

David and Goliath: Don’t fuck with me!  I have the power of God and anime on my side! [But wait-] AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

King Solomon: C’mon brain think of things, c’mon brain think of things, c’mon brain, be so smart.

Joseph and His Coat of Many Colors: BRUH First of all, I look good in this shirt, second of all I look good in this shirt, third of all I look good in this shirt, so don’t tell me I dont look good in this shirt

The Lord Calls Samuel: “Psst!”  “What?”

Sampson: I’m John Cena *plays recorders through nostrils*

The Birth of Christ: Happy Chrimnis. Its Chrismn. Merry Crisis.  Merry Chrysler.

John the Baptist: I’m washing me and my clothes bitch!

Multiplication of Bread and Fishes: Ahhh! Stop!  I could’ve dropped my croissant. 

Jesus Choosing His Disciples: *person wrapped in a blanket wearing sunglasses dances and is joined by others wearing blankets and sunglasses* 

Judas (pt 1): I bring you frankincense. [Thank you].  And I bring you myrrh [Thank you]. Myrrh-der! [*gasp*]  Judas! No!

Judas (pt 2): We all die you either kill yourself or get killed. Watcha gonna do?

Saint Thomas touching the wounds of Christ: That was legitness.

Saint Paul to the Corinthians: Is there anything better than pussy? Yes! A really good book!


Coat of Many Colors - Dolly Parton

Every dog needs a pack. This is true, and woe to the lone dog who walks without a single friend. Still, there are those that do, and long ago an odd wolf wandered from his pack in loneliness as an outcast. He cried and cried in the wilderness, until at last his call was heard by a dog. “Sing with me, wolf.” Said the dog. “We both sing songs of loneliness, you and I will sing better together.”

And so they did, and soon their song grew louder and attracted a jackal and a fox and all manner of forsaken lone dogs. “See how many the outcasts are in number! We could be a pack of our own.” Said the wolf. “Yes,” said the jackal, “we have a song to sing together though each of us wears a coat of a different color. We should have a mark for ourselves, so the world can see that we have made a pack of one another.”

And the animals agreed, and gathered paints and mud and pigments into pots. Each dog was painted with the color of his neighbor’s fur, until each of them was full of different colors and dripping in paint all over. The painted dogs still hunt together, and still wear their coats of many colors, that match and yet do not. They are a strong pack, though they were built and not born, for family runs deeper than blood.

broadway songs that could bring me back from the dead/my favorite broadway songs

defying gravity

for good

what is this feeling

as long as you’re mine

no good deed

one day more

do you hear the people sing?

the abc café/red and black

the schuyler sisters


guns and ships


you’ll be back

she’s in love

the great comet prologue

you won’t succeed on broadway

always look on the bright side of life


agony (reprise)

into the woods prologue

i believe

any dream will do

close every door

joseph’s coat (the coat of many colors)

poor, poor pharaoh/song of the king

benjamin calypso


the phantom of the opera

all i ask of you

waving through a window

carrying the banner

king of new york

watch what happens

seize the day

forget about the boy

gimme gimme

i’m alive

superboy and the invisible girl

cell block tango

all that jazz

candy store

seventeen (reprise)

rhythm of the tambourine


top of the world

summer nights

you’re the one that i want

hard-knock life



Coat of Many Colors-Dolly Parton

Early Dolly is the master of tears. 

so yeah sure, Ronan loves hard fast EDM with deep bass, and jaunty Irish tunes that remind him of home, but his real love? Dolly Parton. He has a poster of her in his workshop at the barns, can be heard in the fields herding cows while singing 9 to 5, he pads around the kitchen barefoot in the mornings whistling Coat of Many Colors, and if Adam needs to call him in for lunch, he just stands at the back door of the house and yells “JOLENE ISNT EVEN A GOOD SONG.” and Ronans heavy footsteps will come pounding across the yard mixed with insults and noises of disgust. Adam buys him tickets to a concert and to Dollywood for their first wedding anniversary. Ronan cries the whole time.