coach-class

I did it I did the Crossfit. Unbeknownst to me, Fridays are their designated strength day, which means the workouts typically involve less gymnastics movements (win). The rowers were off the water today, so I saw my former coach and a ton of people I used to row with and they all told me how much they missed me and they wanted me to come back to them which was sweet but a little awkward. 

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For all those passengers traveling in the economy cabin...

actually no, let me rephrase, although very prevalent to my coach class compatriots, the following also applies to business/first class passengers as well (although to be fair, what I am about to address I see less frequently in business/first than I do in coach).

There desperately needs to be passenger rules and regulations assigned to fliers these days. Over the years and thousands of miles in the friendly skies I have seen certain things amongst my fellow passengers that can be described as absolutely abhorrent. That being said, allow me to make the following notations and recommendations.

1 - Any and all sandals/open toed shoes should be banned from any and all flights. I don’t care if you are traveling to Hawaii/Mexico or any other very warm climate destination - PUT SHOES ON - any shoes. I generally abhor wearing sneakers when flying but I will sooner tolerate those than seeing 50% of the cabin walk around with their feet hanging out. I don’t care how proud you are of how pretty you think your feet MAY look or if you just got a pedicure - fact is, most people have ugly feet (I don’t care what your justification is / if you’re offended by that statement. oh well) the last thing i want to see, especailly if I am shoved in the middle seat or pressed up against the window, is you taking your toes out for air, at 35,000 feet. 

2- this of course all leads me to point number 2. One’s feet should never be exposed after you step on an airplane. I get it, it’s a red eye and you want to be at least semi comfortable in the less than comfortable coach class seat, designed by individuals whom I assume have no idea what comfort is - but it is beyond disgusting when right after takeoff, the cabin begins to resemble a high school boys locker room post gym class - I doesn’t even matter if you are wearing socks, keep ‘em in the shoe. Let me give you an example - I was on a red eye en route from Las Vegas to Minneapolis last July (2010). Fortunately for me, I had scored an exit row seat for the flight. Upon taxi and takeoff, a foul stench began to fill the cabin. I poked my head out from my aisle seat, looked up and down and low and behold, the flight had become foot fest. Listen people, feet smell (doesn’t matter if you think yours don’t - they do). There is no amount of recycled air that can eradicate that abusive stench. Keep your feet in your shoes. You seat is NOT, I repeat, is NOT your living room and your having 100 or so guests over - have some respect for your fellow passengers.

3- this stance may come as a surprise to some given what  I just posted but here it is- you have every right to bring on whatever food you like for your flight. Look, the fact that airline food is beyond sub-par is an honest realization that may, unfortunately, never change. That being said, if you would rather forgo the $12 snack box with some better food you picked up in the terminal, by all means do. I don’t care if you’re angry because your seatmate decided to pick up a BBQ pulled pork sandwich in Memphis during his layover and you didn’t because you figured you would be fine, a passenger has ever right to eat what he wants. (EXCEPTION OF COURSE, and I am saying this now before anyone gets too angry, PEANUTS if there is one of those hardcore peanut allergy passengers on the flight). If you don’t like the smell of the sandwich or the guy in front of you’s decision to by the Tuna salad/cracker combo pack - oh well. I am willing to level and rationalize though - if the disgusting we took our shoes off on board smell is finally gone for good, I’ll happily push for reccomendations for more not so foul food regulations for passengers. 

4- middle seats should be removed from all flights - on the big jumbo jets, put passengers in groups of 2 - take out the dead weight, re-style coach  class (ie don’t add an inch of extra legroom to coach, charge $50 per segment and call it economy plus)

5- we need to bring back the elegance of air travel back to the aviation industry. There is a fully blown tirade I have for those passengers who find white New Balance trainers, “life is…” t-shirts, sandals with socks, cargo short, t-shirts, and sweats as something classy and stylish, but I don’t have the time or the energy to walk each and every one of you through why you all are the ones responsible for the “ugly american” stereotype (insert Joe Jackson “The Jet Set” song reference here from the Big World album - if you don’t know it, you should) - flying should be mandatory business casual or better, all classes, all flights - fun fact you can be comfortable and look good, I’m willing to bet money that GQ or Esquire magazine could help point you in the right direction.

6- joining the mile high club is next to impossible on flights under 4 hours or aircraft that sit no more than 100 passengers - accept it, wait for your transatlantic flight and move on

7- there needs to be a section (ideally soundproof) in the back of coach for passengers traveling with small children exceptionally prone to crying (parents, I’m sorry, we know sometimes you can’t help it, but you guys above all, should be all too well aware of how annoying it is for the rest of the cabin) if anything else, think back to that blissful time when you were single and childless and remember how annoying you used to find it - yeah that feeling does not go away

8- people will recline their seats as they see fit - accept it, and move on.

9- applauding the captain from the cabin on a routine landing = why?

10- flight attendants - understand that you, above all, are all capable of turning a good flight into a bad one - yes we all have bad days but don’t take it out on those of us footing the bill for your salaries

11- another reason why all coach class should be re-structured to sit 2-2 on every airplane - anyone sitting by the window should not have to climb Everest to make it to the bathroom. You shouldn’t have to wake up the guy next to you on a transatlantic flight just because you have to take a leak - Frankly, there should be enough space so that someone sitting on the window should be able to walk comfortably in front of the person next to them without disturbing them to make it too the bathroom.

12- boarding by zones needs to be eliminated and this applies to Southwests boarding process as well (although admittedly, it is a step in the right direction) - boarding (aside from first/business class, elite members) should be
1- families
2- anyone with the window seat
3- anyone next to the window seat
4- anyone on the asile

13- to the 6’ + that get smashed in the window while someone younger/shorter than them get the lucky aisle seat to stretch their legs - do not assume it is your automatic duty and privilege to guilt the person into switching seats with you OR for that matter take their seat before they board and just assume they would understand (has happened to me true story) you did not misread your boarding card, we all know it. so you didn’t get the aisle, deal with it - especially if the flight is under 2hrs. (AND YES MEDICAL CONDITIONS = COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DISCUSSION)

14- charging extra for the exit row seats in coach should be considered a criminal offense

15- accept that fact that sometimes your flight will be brutal - there will be delays, cancellations, missed luggage, mechanical problems, lack of good food, uncomfortable seating arrangements, and people (passengers and crew) that can turn the friendly skies into less than attractive. The world is not out to get you. You were not randomly selected to have the worst flight of your life. This is life, and the aviation industry is not immune to it, regardless of how badly you may want it to be. Quit the “i’ll never fly this airline again” crap - it really just proves how immature/inexperienced you really are to the airline industry. Life happens and the less than attractive stuff will, I repeat, WILL, happen to you at some point. Accept it, and move on.

so today somebody in my class used this picture for a project where we had to make an imaginary family

the teacher took one look at it and started piling on the gay jokes and calling them a cute couple with their matching tattoos and everything

moral of the story: even people not in the show assume dean and sam are gay for each other

Dating Scott would include...

him always changing your screensaver to him doing weird faces

always reminding him to clean his room so momma mccall doesn’t get angry

great massages wow

having tone deaf duets together in the car

a whole hell of a lot making out am I right

late night McDonald’s dates

always borrowing his jackets and always forgetting to give them back

him telling you how good your hair smells after your shower

singing the “friends” theme song ALL DAY

helping him clean up his little cuts and bruises and giving him little nose kisses

cuddling whenever you watch movies

you getting mad when he spends too much time with Stiles (Stiles third wheels all the time lets be honest)

helping him study so he doesn’t fail (aka Coach’s class)

him eating your french fries and you getting mad and throwing them at him

gossiping about scott with Melissa like all the time

Once You Ride First Class, You Can't Go Back

The economy has tanked for most, and this is most evident with air travel. 

“Airline seating may be the best concrete expression of what’s happened to the economy in recent decades,” Harold Meyerson, columnist for the Washington Post.

In other words, flying coach SUCKS, and first class is AWESOME. 

However, this overall economic trend has been going on forever, and will NOT be reversed any time soon.  Also, if you are one of those waiting for that “White Knight” or Deus Ex Machina solution (e.g: government, grant, bailout), then you are going to be severely disappointed. 

Just take it from Jerry Seinfeld in the 90s: “I’ve flown first class, Elaine– I can’t go back to coach. I can’t… I won’t…”

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Here’s one of our favorite moments with the judges last week…when Harry schooled Jennifer about how the other half travels. Check it out!

Musical Chairs. April 1st, 2013

I would go out on a limb and say that no one who regularly flies coach class on a plane actually enjoys it. Even the conditions in first class are less than desirable, but coach? For those that have never stepped on a plane before (you should, but no rush), coach class is like sitting on a bench made for two, but with three people sitting on it. Two plastic armrests are the only things keeping you from becoming very friendly with the rear ends of the people seated next to you. Did I mention that you can only access your seat from the side? This also means legroom is but a dream. The bench in front of you will ensure that you have only enough room to fit your legs under, that is, if that space isn’t already occupied by your carry-on bag. Otherwise, have fun with your legs bent awkwardly, knees hitting the bottom of your flimsy, plastic tray table that somehow remains small enough that it is absolutely useless for placing a computer or book on, but large enough that leaving it open impedes movement. Feeling claustrophobic yet? Wait until you arrive at the gate after the flight is over, and the plane docks for exit. They shut down the air conditioning, everyone stands up, and suddenly there’s even less space than there used to be. Not only that, but it feels like the aluminum shell that is the plane is heating up like a sauna to suffocate you before the doors of the plane have a chance to open.


There are very few things to enjoy about flying coach. Even the airline staff acknowledge it. They share in the same cramped conditions as the passengers. Even if it is their job, they still understand how the coach class feels.

When I printed my boarding pass for my returning flight from Orlando to Newark, I noticed right away that I was separated from my family. Naturally, the plane housing two sides of three seats couldn’t support four. Unfortunately, I was not across from them in the same numeric row, 38, but one row back in 39. It didn’t really bother me; I don’t mind sitting alone. My parents aren’t great fliers. They get very stressed over turbulence. I can understand why, but I can’t say that it’s enjoyable to be in the presence of. My brother is often irritable on flights, and goes out of the way to ensure that I’m disturbed at every moment. Sitting a row behind them might be alright.

My family sat in their row while I waited for the people in front of me to get situated in their row. I noticed that a man was talking to the flight attendant with a concerned look on his face. It was obvious that that child and young woman in the row already were his own family, and he very much wanted to sit with them. Before their conversation ended, I interjected, letting the man know I would trade my seat with him. He was delighted, and thanked me, as did the flight attendant, who showed me where I would be sitting.

Row 40 was the back of the plane. No reclining seats, and next to the bathroom, where lines would frequently form along with the lavatory aromas. I had the middle seat on the left side. Still, I wasn’t too concerned. I hadn’t planned on being comfortable, so the relocation was hardly a setback. One of the three seats was still empty during boarding. I was anticipating who would later occupy it.

Minutes later, two young girls, clad in Disney apparel, make their way to the remaining seats in row 40. One of them was assigned to the remaining seat next to me, the other to the opposite side. When they looked at the remaining seats, it was obvious they were disappointed. Once again, I offered to move. Their faces lit up. I never thought I would see another set of happy faces like the family I helped earlier on the same flight. Moving for the second time was almost pleasant.

The girls thanked me once more. I insisted that it was no problem, and settled into my third location. The flight attendant, somewhat orchestrating the change of seats, tapped me on the shoulder. I was graciously thanked once more and provided with my choice of anything on their in-flight menu. I willingly accepted the offer and made my pick. The food was a mere bonus. I was more overjoyed with how good it felt to make a small sacrifice for complete strangers, and have it returned with the most sincere gratitude. The family with the small child were silent amongst one-another on the flight, with not a cry from the infant at any point. The girls chatted amongst one another, and remained relatively calm and collected when unexpected turbulence hit the aircraft hard. Had I not changed my seats for these two parties, the flight not only would have been less enjoyable for the, but possibly the surrounding passengers.

In the worst of situations, it’s nice to know that you can lend a hand to those who share in the same struggle, and help them in any way possible. It pays better than any job could.