Area Man Suffers From Identity Crisis After Reading Buzzfeed Personality Quiz Results
By CNtributor Claire McCleskey
MANASSAS, VA–It was a typical Monday morning for Manassas-area man John Winston. He sat down at his desk with a cup of coffee and checked Buzzfeed before getting to work. It was there that he first saw the “Which Character From The Breakfast Club Are You?” personality quiz.
“I always knew I was a Bender. It was never a question for me. But I wanted to take the quiz, just to make it official,” he told reporters.
But the all-knowing Buzzfeed gods begged to differ. As Winston answered the final question of the quiz—stating that his favorite frozen yogurt topping was Fruity Pebbles—Buzzfeed delivered a shocking result. He was not a Bender after all—he was a Claire.
“But I’m a rebel,” he said to no one in particular, as if he was trying to convince himself. “I don’t even know what to think anymore. If I don’t even know what character from The Breakfast Club I am, what do I really know about myself at all?”
Since taking the quiz, Winston has made a few changes in his life. He has since quit his job, telling his boss that he “needs to find himself”. He has moved out of the home he shared with his wife of ten years, telling her that he is in no position to be married if he doesn’t know who he identifies with the most in The Breakfast Club. He now lives in a tiny one-bedroom apartment off of Wellington Road and works as a barista at Starbucks while trying to discover himself.