I’m in the back of an uber and the driver goes “hey there’s water back there if you’re thirsty ;)”

Sir, I will have you know that I watch Criminal Minds, and I will have the BAU here faster than Hotch can say Wheels Up. My mother, Emily Prentiss, has a history of commandeering jets to save people.

CM Punk - Drunk In Love.

CM Punk - Reader is in love with Punk but he is married to Aj Lee. The reader goes out and gets drunk and ends up ringing Punk and drunkenly confessing her feelings for him.

- Warnings - Some fluff, Angst, Swearing.

Word Count - 3,453 words.

Requested By: @x-fallen-x-devil-x

If you’d like to be tagged in our future stuff, feel free to ask! :)

Originally posted by stephslays

Only 8 months ago you seemed to have it all figured out - well to the extent your brain could take, juggling both your job and what only you would call a ‘school-girl crush’. Joining the hectic schedule of WWE, you knew what you were getting yourself into; you knew the constant noise that’d deafen you night in and night out, you knew the crazy deadlines you just had to keep but truthfully, you just wished someone had warned you about the trash-talking and pipe-bomb extraordinaire himself, CM Punk…

Your first steps into the world of wrestling weren’t set to be perfect, that’s basically impossible yet with a close friend as someone to fall back on, the mission to step into that ring was made a whole lot easier. From your first days in the Performance Centre to your first day on the main roster, AJ Lee seemed to be your shadow throughout the whole journey. Every wrong footing, every minor or major injury, just anything stopping you from competing one night, she was there. It’s safe to say some people would find that nothing less than irritating; yourself knew that secretly, even if it didn’t show, were exactly the same.

Your personalities just clicked. It was almost as though she was just your other half- I mean it was safe to say she was practically your sister the amount she depended on you, (even if mostly it was for making food). That was before though… before the single thought of loving a man turned into complete devastation. A lot can change in a few months…

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“CM Drunk” - CM Punk has a sobriety test on WWE Raw
WWE Raw - April 23rd, 2012

Following a defeat to the WWE Champion CM Punk at WrestleMania, Chris Jericho continued challenging the Straight Edge Superstar in a variation of ways, including mentally. When Jericho did some digging into CM Punk’s life, he found that members of his family weren’t on the same clean path that Punk had chosen, which led to Punk allegedly falling off the wagon himself. When the WWE Champion appeared to be drunk on an episode of WWE Raw, Jericho demanded a sobriety test. If Punk failed, he would be stripped of the WWE Championship.

I’ll call you up just to tell you that I am doing okay without you. because when I’m three margaritas in I can believe it. I’ll yell at you, curse at you, tell you to go to hell. you’ll hang up, say “we can talk tomorrow,” just like every time before. I will believe you. I will laugh and then I will start to cry and I won’t be able to stop. I’ll probably text you, apologize for my behavior. this is not how tonight was supposed to go. now the room is spinning so fast I can’t remember where i am, who I am with. but I always remember you. I’ll call you again to tell you that I see you everywhere and please come back and please stop showing up in my sleep, but this time you won’t answer. this time tomorrow I won’t remember crying, screaming, choking into my phone trying to describe what your fingertips did to my soul. this time tomorrow I will not remember asking you to forget everything, begging you to tell me how to forget everything. I’ll wake up in the morning and try to decipher the messages I sent you, and your responses. I reread your words “I’m sorry it ended the way it did” and “why can’t you forgive me yet” and “please stop calling me.” this is not how tonight was supposed to go. this is not how tonight was supposed to go but I can’t stop myself from taking another shot of tequila and typing your name into my phone. this was not how we were supposed to end.
—  this is how I will try to forget you tonight
Fangirl Problems

How I feel when people freak out over the Chris Jericho/CM Drunk “scandal” in WWE:

Oh my God, guys. Seriously. It’s wrestling. It’s just like a normal TV show with storylines and everything. It does not affect your life in any way. Just go with it. Don’t get me wrong, I like wrestling. Just not THAT much.

How I feel when people freak out over things involving Harry Potter/Doctor Who/Sherlock:


You see my predicament.