clumsy-cat

That thing about how cats think humans are big kittens is a myth, y’know.

It’s basically born of false assumptions; folks were trying to explain how a naturally solitary animal could form such complex social bonds with humans, and the explanation they settled on is “it’s a displaced parent/child bond”.

The trouble is, cats aren’t naturally solitary. We just assumed they were based on observations of European wildcats - but housecats aren’t descended from European wildcats. They’re descended from African wildcats, which are known to hunt in bonded pairs and family groupings, and that social tendency is even stronger in their domesticated relatives. The natural social unit of the housecat is a colony: a loose affiliation of cats centred around a shared territory held by alliance of dominant females, who raise all of the colony’s kittens communally.

It’s often remarked that dogs understand that humans are different, while cats just think humans are big, clumsy cats, and that’s totally true - but they regard us as adult colonymates, not as kittens, and all of their social behaviour toward us makes a lot more sense through that lens.

They like to cuddle because communal grooming is how cats bond with colonymates - it establishes a shared scent-identity for the colony and helps clean spots that they can’t easily reach on their own.

They bring us dead animals because cats transport surplus kills back to the colony’s shared territory for consumption by pregnant, nursing, or sick colonymates who can’t easily hunt on their own. Indeed, that’s why they kill so much more than they individually need - it’s not for fun, but to generate enough surplus kills to sustain the colony’s non-hunting members.

They’re okay with us messing with their kittens because communal parenting is the norm in a colony setting, and us being colonymates in their minds automatically makes us co-parents.

It’s even why many cats are so much more tolerant toward very small children, as long as those children are related to one of their regular humans: they can tell the difference between human adults and human “kittens”, and your kittens are their kittens.

Basically, you’re going to have a much easier time getting a handle on why your cat does why your cat does if you remember that the natural mode of social organisation for cats is not as isolated solitary hunters, but as a big communal catpile - and for that purpose, you count as a cat.

BTS AS CATS!

Taehyung; always attached to your hip, follows you around all the time and when you stop walking he bumps into your legs and falls back on his ass. Runs around your house following his tail and brings you every single insect he catches. Eats a lot and is friendly with other cats. Jiminie and Gukie are his partners in crime.

Jiminie: shy at the beginning but shamelessly asks for belly rubs once you know him. Always around you and whines when he doesn’t get attention. Is jealous of gukie because “taetae is mine, im his baby paws”

Gukie: shy at the beginning but worst cat ever once you know him, steals your food, scratches your couch to piss you off when you’re not giving him attention. If he wakes up in the middle of the night expect him to get under your blankets and push you out of your own bed. Fights with Jiminie all the time because “tae only loves me, don’t touch whats mine”

Suga: new definition of grumpy cat, never comes when you call him, ignores you unless you have food for him, when its time to sleep, he gets on your lap and sleeps, doesn’t matter how many times you pull him away, he will end up on your lap and give you a hell of a night. Soft for hoseokie, will run around after him if it means getting his attention.

Hoseok: hyperactive cat, runs around the house following your shadow. Its clingy and scratches your hand to ask for attention. Never stops and will never stop unless suga asks him to take a nap with him.

Namjoon: have you ever seen a clumsy cat? Okay not use that image and make it 7 times worse. Follows you around and trips over his own legs, you try to avoid stepping onto him and end up falling, he gets on top of you and rubs his head on your arm. Always falls while you’re petting him, falls from the couch, falls from the bed, falls from your lap… messy eater, takes his food and places it next to you so he can keep you company while eating.

Jin: fattest cat alive, eats his food, asks for more and then steals your food. Is cute and he knows it, walks around moving his tail perfectly so everyone notices him. Hates cats who eat messily but doesn’t mind sharing a meal with joonnie.

A/N: its 4 am and im writing this which means idk what im doing and I just couldn’t stop myself because too cute SO COME @ me I DARE YOU.

anonymous asked:

Imagine Anti barely ever sleeping so he's just wandering around the house getting into mischief while wiishu sleeps. Hes like a big clumsy cat, knocking things over and breaking shit and usually at 3 am he'll wander in and wake wiishu up because he has a burning question about something like why does she fold her shirts that way? Its much more efficient to just not wash them that way she never has to fold them? He doesnt understand why people fold laundry and he needs to know right now at 3 am??

“Signe, wake up.”

“what is it this time?”

“why…do u fold laundry i mean it’s completely irrational and a waste of time why are humans so damn impractical”

“…anti go the fuck to sleep”

LOL  😹

Today it’s warmer, very sunny. I sent the babies outside, lol. They are enjoying and Ginger is having fun with his IKEA mouse, lol.

Have a nice Thursday.

Thank you: @lunoday, thank you: @starlight2travel, normally Ginger is not hurting but he can be rough, he has sharp teeth so I can feel them sometimes but I tell him NO, then he stops but he is young so his teeth are sharp, often a cat bite is a love bite but Ginger he wants to play, so he can be clumsy, rough. 

anonymous asked:

Let's get more kittyformers! :D How would mtmte Swerve,Ultra Magnus,Drift,and Rodimus be as cats and how would they react when turning back?

Dude, thanks for more autokitties~! I love these requests. :3 And with some of my favorite bots too!

 



Swerve:

  • Swerve is a lonely cat. He just wants love and affection, poor kitty. When he’s first turned into a cat with the others, he doesn’t get as much attention as them, mostly because of Rodimus being an attention hog. He’s pretty upset by this naturally and spends a lot of time sulking in his bar. It’s not until the human goes looking for him and realizes what’s going on that they feel bad and begin to pay him more attention. Plus he started crying forlornly every time he saw them.



  • The human loves cuddling with Swerve because it makes him so pleased. He’ll immediately start purring (loudly) and will knead their lap before laying down all comfy. When the human is busy with the other cats, Swerve likes to go into their habsuite and lay on their clothes and furniture. They smell like the human and bring him comfort but the human kind of gets annoyed because now everything is covered in cat hair (kind of comes with the territory though).



  • He also is a little clumsy as a cat (because he’s a chubby fluffy floof, it’s adorable) and has a tendency to accidentally knock stuff over all the time. But the human can never be mad at him because at least he’s not trying to be destructive unlike one of the other cats (*cough* Rodimus *cough*). He’s pretty okay with the human cleaning him and whatnot, he’s just content to be around them. Never ever hisses at the human or claws at them, he wouldn’t even dream of it.



  • When Swerve turns back into a Cybertronian, he’s sheepish and a little embarrassed for how he acted as a cat. But the human doesn’t mind and to his delight, they’re closer to him than they’ve ever been. They come to his bar and talk more often and sometimes the two of them reminisce about when he was a cat. Then one day the human offers some cuddles shyly and Swerve is suddenly grateful he’s no longer a kitty.



Rodimus:

  • Rodimus as a cat is exactly as you’d expect him to be. He’s a fiesty troublemaker but in the end he just really wants the human to love him and spend time with him. He’s almost a little too affectionate with the human, constantly rubbing against them and plopping himself on their lap without any kind of warning. He’ll paw at their face gently when he wants their attention and refuses to sleep anywhere but in their bed with them. The human is a bit suspicious but just figures kitty Rodimus is clingy. ;P



  • He likes to mess with the other cats a lot. Especially enjoys pissing off Ultra Magnus by clawing at him and meowing loudly whenever the older cat is trying to sleep. Him and Drift sometimes get into trouble because Rodimus will rile Drift up and somehow convince him to run around causing chaos with him. He makes things difficult for the human but always apologizes by bomping his head on theirs before he curls up with them at night.

     

  • He’s very excited to be a cat so he’s basically taking advantage of it as much as possible. He never stops moving or playing (especially with toys) unless he’s with the human. Rodimus HATES when the human tries to clean him at all though. He struggles and cries and even claws them a bit when they try to give him a bath, clip his nails or brush his fur. The human swears they’ve never heard a cat that can screech like a banshee like Rodimus can.

     

  • Rodimus is kind of pissed when he’s turned back. Not at the human, just at the fact that he has to go back to being a bot. There’s advantages to it of course but he liked being a cat! He was small and floofy and the human always took care of him. They showed him a lot more affection then when he was a bot and he really enjoyed being able to sleep beside them. So he pouts for a while afterwards but he eventually gets over it.

     

Ultra Magnus:

  • He’s a grumpy cat honestly and a little bit uppity too. He doesn’t mean to be it’s just how he comes off. When he’s first turned into a cat, it’s clear that he’s alarmed. He takes a long time to get used to it and is a bit awkward trying to figure out how to move around and act like a cat. Even as a cat he still tries to keep the others in line, especially Rodimus. Usually this means when the other cats are acting up, he’ll come over and hiss at them or swat them away from the human. He still recognizes the human needs a break and tries to help as much as he can while being stuck in a kitty body.

     

  • He doesn’t like being touched or petted as a cat at first. It just feels weird to him and kind of creeps him out. He’ll also claw at the other cats if they try to play with or disturb him too much. But eventually as he warms up to being a kitty, he let’s the human pet him. Nobody else, just the human, because he trusts them. Plus they give really good ear scritches he just can’t resist. It’s the only time he purrs.

     

  • He doesn’t sleep with the human or other cats. They buy him his own cat bed with this blanket that for some reason he comes to adore. He keeps his bed (and the one toy he ends up loving) very organized (well as much as he can) and pounces on anyone who tries to mess with his bed. The human finds this very amusing despite themselves. He doesn’t like when they have to clip his nails or brush his hair, but he lets them without much fuss because he knows it’s necessary. He does really enjoy baths though.


     
  • When he’s a bot once more, Ultra Magnus is super relieved. Thank Primus! Being a cat was annoying and strange and he was so small! So much fur! He felt like he wasn’t taken seriously as a cat! What an embarrassing, uncomfortable situation. He does admit to the human after a time that he secretly liked his time as a cat, even if only a little. Because it allowed him to relax for the first time in Primus knows how long and well … the time with the human was rather nice. ;)


Drift:

  • Drift is the calmest of the cats and the one that is easiest to take care of for the human. He rarely causes trouble, except sometimes when he gets riled up by Rodimus. Mostly he spends his time as a cat purusing the ship - he’s so quiet and sneaky he sometimes scares the human or the other cats. Once during the week when they’re all cats, they stop at a planet and the human takes the kitties out for a walk. Drift and Ultra Magnus are the only ones who don’t need a leash and will stay by the human’s side. Drift does occasionally go after random animals but he always comes back, usually with a ‘gift’ for the human.

     

  • He’s not pushy or clingy for the human’s attention but it’s obvious he really loves when they do come and cuddle with him. He likes to knead in their lap a lot and sometimes nibbles on them a little when they pet them (very gently as a way of being playful). He’s protective of the human and often comes with them at night to their habsuite to watch over them, though he doesn’t sleep on the bed like Roddy cat. He will also hiss and puff up if any of the other bots on the ship try to mess with the human while they’re taking care of the kitties. Not that there’s much he could actually do, but it’s the thought that counts.

     

  • He doesn’t mind when the human has to clean him, though he does beg for treats afterwards. He thinks baths are fun and will swim around enjoying himself long after the human finished cleaning him. He also loves having his fur brushed and will lay in the human’s lap and purr as they do it. Drift is the cat that when he does lay with the human (sometimes if they take a nap and he wants to watch over them), he’ll sit on their head. The human doesn’t know WHY he does this but they’ve woken up many times to his furry body on the top half of their head. It’s certainly an experience.

     

  • When he’s turned back, he’s content with his time as a cat. It was fun and interesting and taught him a lot about organics. He also spouts some stuff about being one with the universe and whatnot, which the human isn’t sure about but they’re glad he had a good time. He’s a lot more open with his admiration of and desire for the human after this, making sure to thank them for taking care of him.

     

-Lily

BTS as cats
  • Jin: pretty, fluffy cat with a pink bow on the head
  • Rapmon: clumsy cat that breaks everything but is really cute and cuddly
  • Suga: sleepy cat, can nap 3 days in a row, looks fluffy and cute but bite if you touch/disturb
  • Jimin: smol little cute fluffy cat that is so cuddly and adorable asdfghjkl
  • Taehyung: the cat that hangs out with dogs bc he thinks he is a dog..
  • (J-hope and Jungkook was not mentioned because Hobi is simply a flower not a cat and Jungkook is a bunny)

(English below)

Dia 10: Gigantic/Gigantesco. Bueno, dije que habria excepciones y no todo serian damiselas. Y es que si hablamos de gigantesco, lo primero que me viene a la cabeza es el enorme y patoso gatiperripollo de The Last Guardian, el adorable Trico al que todos querriamos adoptar si nos cupiera en casa… ademas… ¿quién dice que no es hembra?

_________

Day 10: Gigantic. Well I said there would be some exception and not all my drawings would be ladies. Because when we talk about gigantic, first thing that comes to mind is that huge and clumsy cat-dog-chicken from The Last Guardian, adorable Trico  we all would love to adopt if he would fit inside our home… Besides, who says it is not female?

On Miraculous Holders

Okay so many of us agree that the miraculous wielder has something opposite about them that their miraculous balances out, right? So this has brought me to actually thinking about what my “dream team” of wielders would be, so here I go!

Ladybug: Marinette. Obviously. Her miraculous, being the one of good luck, balances out her bad luck (e.g. always being in Chloe’s class, clumsiness, etc.).

Cat Noir: Adrien. Again, the two obvious ones here. Adrien seems to have good luck, what with being rich and all, but that’s really just the surface of his life. However, it’s definitely enough to balance out his miraculous.

Jade Turtle (?): Nino. (@thelastpilot I love you turtle mother!!!) While I am TOTALLY on board the theory of the other five miraculouses being based off of the Chinese elements, I am going to use the actual turtle persona instead of the previous good/bad luck thing. Nino is a very young and “hip” person; we know he loves dancing and dj-ing. He can also be very headstrong, as seen when he gets akumatized. The patience and wisdom of a turtle would totally balance Nino out, and if you disagree go read The Weight of Jade by thelastpilot and you will be convinced I promise.

Volpina: Alya. Sorry not sorry, I really don’t like Lila. If you think she should get a redemption arc that ends with a miraculous, that’s fine, but I’m capping my dream team redemptions at one. Aya is very up-front about everything, and she is constantly trying to figure out the truth. The sneakiness of a fox would balance out her boldness, and the power of illusions (if that’s what the actual miraculous wielder would get) balances out her love of the truth perfectly.

Queen Bee (?): Chloe. Yeah, it’s very cliche. I’m actually still kind of on the fence about it, but now I’m coming around with this whole opposites/balancing things out thing. If Chloe could get a (well executed, I’m sure) redemption arc, then the bee miraculous actually does suit her. Not for the “Queen Bee” pun, but again for the balance. Chloe has been spoiled her whole life, never working for anything. Bees are super hard workers, and this balances her out beautifully. That, and bees are actually super nice until you piss them off, while Chloe is always pissed. Balance! These are the only reasons I hesitantly support Queen Bee! Chloe, because character design has nothing to do with the current canon heroes.

Peacock Superhero: Nathaneal. I’ve seen him paired with the fox miraculous before, and it’s super cute but I would still give that to Alya. No, in my dream team Nath gets the peacock miraculous. It fits him perfectly, because here is this really shy, quiet boy, and BOOM! He could become a peacock, super flamboyant and eye-catching. It is my personal opinion that Nathaneal deserves a miraculous, because he is probably the kindest person (from what we’ve seen) in this whole series. Even as an akuma, he’s just a little sweetheart. His disposition and the whole balancing thing work perfectly to give him a miraculous, peacock especially.


Okay, so that’s all six that are currently good/not in use… so what about after the eventual defeat of Hawk Moth?

Monarch (?): Prince Ali. Arguably one of the nicest characters alongside Rose and Nathaneal, Ali is another character who has a disposition fitting for a miraculous. Like Chloe, his name makes a great pun, but that’s not what we are looking for. Butterflies are changing creature, from a caterpillar to in-between-goo to a butterfly. Hawk Moth’s power is also to prey upon those with weak emotions. As a prince, Ali is already expected to be a “butterfly” when he could still be considered a caterpillar or even that goo in the chrysalis. His duties need him to be a veritable rock that doesn’t ever change, and with a stretch we can assume he is not supposed to reveal too many of his emotions. The moth/butterfly miraculous would be a great counterpart for Ali, and would give him an outlet for him to really help people, seeing as he is really passionate about that.

So, that is my dream team! Feel free to add anything if you so wish, I would love to hear what people think of this. My opinions probably won’t change, but I still enjoy hearing what other people’s dream teams are.

you know that Parent Reflex that… parents have??? dex and chowder definitely have that.

it’s not because of hockey, it’s bc of nursey… he’s just so…. clumsy. they have cat like reflexes bc of it. the team ends up making a game of it between chowder and dex. the most awesome Parent Save gets points. the cooler the more points.

something happens at a party they’re throwing and nursey ends up pulling the tablecloth with him, chowder yanks it faster and makes all the food stay. 350 points right there. they’re having a team dinner and nursey is bringing over a tin of grilled chicken but stumbles forward. dex grabs the tin before it spills and brings an arm up to stop nursey from falling on the table. 330 points, double save.

there’s a hall of fame and there ends up being pool on who will actually get the Grandmaster of Saves.

Exo As Cats

Baekhyun is the cat who constantly attacks your feet under the blanket

Originally posted by rileyjanelle

Lay is the cat that sleeps on your neck at night

Originally posted by taftcat

D.O is the cat that looks adorable but when you try to pet him he scratches you

Chen is the cat that purposefully knocks things off the counter

Sehun is always grooming himself and constantly clean, giving strangers the side eye

Suho is the cat that greets you at the door

Kai is the cat that’s always hungry meowing for hours until you fill his bowl

Originally posted by myloveisjoe-sugg

Chanyeol is the clumsy cat always falling over or knocking something down

Xiumin is the pretty Instagram cat that everyone loves and never does anything wrong.


Bayojeanne Week 1 - Beach Day


Fandom:
Bayonetta

Ship: Bayonetta/Jeanne

Summary: Bayonetta wonders if its still a beach day if all she can see is the full moon and a pretty girl.

A/N: Bayo doesn’t have her full memories, set between Bayo 1 and 2. (Technically part of Barren Grounds but is a standalone) 




“You know, when you said to make time for a nice spot of beach leisure” Bayonetta commented, sitting down on her towel overlooking the fine sandy shores of Fort Tilden beach “I was thinking this was going to be more of a day thing and not a, you know, midnight rendezvous”

She much preferred the sun and the early afternoon heat, even with the bustle of large families, loud teens, sleazy bros and all those things, to bathing out in the shine of the August full moon. Few things in life manage to win over the simple luxury of sand, sun and surf which, unfortunately, was  something Jeanne quite disagreed with. She rarely enjoyed getting pelted with the obnoxiously bright noon light and, truth be told, she burned easier than a marshmallow over a roaring fire.

Yet there she was in a ruby red bikini so well fitting and small, saying it was sinful was a ridiculous understatement but it wasn’t quite the well defined muscles on display that caught her eye and gave her a bad case of dazed breathtakingness.

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