closed countries

This was a sad Eurovision for Spain not because we lost, but because we wanted zero points SO BAD we got frustrated when someone gave us five.

Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s ♪♫ beautiful ♫♪.
In the year negative a billion, Japan might not have been here. In the year negative forty thousand, it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, some icebergs melted, it became an island, and now there’s lots of ♫ trees ♫. Because it’s warmer.
So now there’s people on the island; they’re basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology. Like stones, and bowls.
Ding dong, it’s the outside world, and they have technology from the future. Like really good metal, and ♪ crazy rice farms ♪. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own the farm, then you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to survvvvive. So that makes you king.
Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread all across the land, all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here (Hi), here (Chikushi), here (Izumo), here (Kibi), here (Yamato), here (Koshi), and here (Kenu). But this one (Yamato) was the most most important, ruled by a heavenly superperson, or emperor for short.
Knock knock, get the door, it’s religion. The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion 🎺🎺🎺 (Buddhism) from Baekje.
“Please try this religion,” he said.
“No,” said everybody.
“Try iiiiit,” he said.
“no,” said everybody again, quieter this time.
And so the religion was put into place and all the rules that came with it.
Then, the government was taken over by another clique (Taika). And they made some reforms , like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China’s government, which is a government that governs more.
“Hi China,” they said.
“Hi dipshit (wa, dwarf),” said China.
“Can you call us something else, other than dipshit?” said Japan.
“Like what?” said China.
♫♪"How about sunrise laaand?“♪♫ said Japan.
And they stole China’s alphabet and wrote a book. About themselves! And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves.
Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while, right here (Kyoto, Heian Palace). And they conquered the north finally, get that squared away.
A rich hipster named Kūkai is bored with modern Buddhism and visits China, learns a better version which is more ♫♪ spiritual ♪♫, comes back, reinvents the alphabet, and causes art and literature to be ♫♪ great ♪♫ for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dreamworld of art that they really didn’t give a shit about running the country.
So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit, from criminals? ♫♪ Hire a samurai. ♪♫ Everyone started hiring samurai. Rich important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organized and powerful, more powerful than the government. So they made their own military government, right here. They let the emperor still be emperor, but the shogun was actually in control.
Breaking news, the Mongols have invaded China.
"W̛e҉’ve i͟nv̕aded ̵Chi͠na̸,” said the Mongols, “Pl͘e̶a̷se̵ ͝res͢p̛ȩc̷t u͢s҉,͜ or͜ el̕se w͞e ͟m̛igh͟t ͠i͝nvade͡ ̕y͜o̕u̕ ͡a͡s̕ ̡well̀.̢”
“Okay,” said Japan.
So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and died in a tornadotyphoon. But they tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornadotyphoon.
Then the emperor overthrows the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moves to Kyoto, and makes a new shogunate. And the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that’s fine.
♫♪ Now there’s more art. ♪♫
Like painting with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers.
It’s time for who’s going to be the next shogun. Usually it’s the shogun’s kid, but the shogun doesn’t have a kid. So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says okay. But then the shogun has a kid. So now who’s it gonna be? Vote now on your phones. And everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn’t care, he was off somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it’s anybody’s game.
Knock knock, it’s Europe. No, they’re not here to take over, they just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks, and guns, and ♫♪ Jesus ♪♫. So that’s cool. But everyone’s still fighting each other for control. Now with guns! And wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them? This clan (Imagawa) is ready to make a run for it, but first they have to trample this smaller clan (Oda) which is in the way. Surprise, smaller clan wins! And the leader of that clan (Oda Nobunaga) steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. And it goes very well.
He’s about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him kills him, then someone else who works for him (Toyotomi Hideyoshi) kills them, and that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody’s swords. And he made some rules.
“Ąnd͟ n͟ow I'̛m̶ goińg̡ to ͘inva͞d̨e ͝Kor͟e͡a,̵ an͝d͢ ̶the̴n h͜op̷ef̕ull͏y ̵Chin͢a̛,” he said, and failed, and also died.
But before he died, he told these five guys to take care of his five year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the five guys said yeah right, it’s not gonna be this kid, it’s gonna be one of us. ‘Cause we’re grownups. And it’s probably gonna be this guy (Tokugawa Ieyasu) who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others.
A lot of people support him, but a lot of people (Ishida Mitsunari) support not supporting him. They have a fight, and he wins. And starts a new government, right here. ♫♪ Edo ♫♪ And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor, and have very nice things. But don’t get confused, this (Tokugawa family) is the new government. And they are very strict, so strict they close the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch, if they wanna buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here (Dejima).
Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were built, roads were built, everyone learned to read, books were published. There was poetry (haiku), plays (kabuki), sexytimes, puppet shows (bunraku), and Dutch studies. People started to study European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We’re talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity.
Over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow do-
*impending doom music*
Knock knock. It’s the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats.
“O͜pe͡ņ,̨ t͡he͏ ͘c̷o̷ưntry. ͠S̛t͜o̡p̛,̵ ҉ha͠v̀in͜g̷ i͝t̀ ͝be̴ ́clo͞sed.̢” said the United States.
*music ends*
There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan anytime they want.
Chōshu and Satsuma hated this. “That sucks!” they said. “This sucks!!!”
And with almost very little outside help, (from Britain) they overthrew the shogunate. And somehow made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed eastern capital (Tokyo). They made a new government, which was a lot more Western. And they made a new constitution, which was.. pretty Western. And a military that was… pretty Western (large).
And do you know what else is Western? That’s right, it’s conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea! They conquer Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further (Liaodong Peninsula).
And Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, “Stop no you can’t do that we were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water.” And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shitton of soldiers. Then, when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a fuckton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade.
And Japan says, “Can you maybe chill?”
And Russia says, “How 'bout maybe you chill?”
Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You’ll never guess who's alsokind of scared of Russia. Great Britain! So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, but just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop.
♫♪ It’s time for World War I ♪♫
The world is about to have a war. Because it’s the 1900s, and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants m̵͡͝͝o͏̨̨̢͢o͏͏̵̧̕ơ̢̢͜͜o͠͏͢ó͘o̶̢̧ó̷͝͠o͝͡o̧͘r̨̢̕ȩ̸ and the next thing on their list is this part of China (Qingdao) and lots of tiny islands.
All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, who was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France’s ass because France was friends with Russia who was getting ready to kick Austria’s ass because Austria was getting ready to kick Serbia’s ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria’s ass. Err, actually, he shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan. So you know what that means, duhhh.
♫♪ Japan should take the islands. ♪♫ Which they wanted to do anyway. So they sort of called Britain on the tele(gram) to sort of let them know, and then they did it! And they also helped Britain here and there with some errands and stuff. *bell rings*
Now the war is over, and congratulations Japan, you technically fought in the war which means you get to sit at the negotiating table (Paris Peace Conference), with the big dudes, where they decided who owns what. And yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. And you also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫♪ the League of Nations ♪♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world.
The Great Depression is bad, and Japan’s economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria. And the League of Nations is like ♪"No don’t do that if you’re in the League of Nations you’re not supposed to try to take over the world.“♪
And Japan said, ♫♪ How bout I do, anyway? ♪♫ And Japan invaded more and more and more of China, and was planning to invade the entire East.
You’ve got mail.
It’s from Germany, the new leader of Germany, he has a cool mustache and is trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common.
♫♪ It’s time for World War II ♪♫
Germany is invading the neighbors, then they invade the neighbors’ neighbors, then, the neighbor’s neighbors’ neighbors, who happen to be Britain, said "Holy shiiit” and the United States started helping Britain because they are ♫♪ good friends ♪♫ and started not helping Japan because ♫♪" Their friends and our friends are not friends. Plus they’re planning on invaaading the entire ocean.“♪♫
The United States is also working on a large, very huge bomb. Bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case (Germany). But they still haven’t joined the war, war looks bad on TV, and the United States is really starting to care about their image.
But then Japan spits on them, in Hawai'i, and challenges them to war. And they say yes! And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the United States also. And they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany. And they also chase Japan back into Japan. And they haven’t used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works, so they drop it on Japan.
They actually drop two.
(You win.)
The United States installed a new government, inspired by the United States government, with just the right ingredients for a ♫♪ post-war economic miracle ♪♫ and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. But then the miracle wears off, but everything’s still pretty cool I guess. ♪♫ Bye. ♫♪

Enough with this anti Otayuri crap.

Let’s start by saying that I’m not a hardcore Otayuri fan; I don’t mind them, I just like Viktuuri better. 

Now, ship hate is nothing new: always has been, always will be -cause some people are just incapable of sharing their opinions without bashing and flaming. You have the right to dislike a certain ship if it’s toxic or unhealthy (like Sasuke/Sakura for me) or abusive (like Sangwoo/Yoonbum for me… still read KS though, I’m a sucker for psychological horror) or illegal (like Sebastian/Ciel in probably every industrialized country in the world, but I mind my own business), or simply triggering. You have the right to state your reasons.

You don’t have the right to be an asshole without a reason though.

Here a piece of advice: you think that Otabek is a pedophile? That Otayuri is unacceptable for age reasons?


WRONG.


If it makes you feel that way, it’s your opinion. Your own perception. If thinking about a relationship between two teenagers of 16 and 19 respectively makes you feel uncomfortable because your idea of age of consent is different from the one stated by the law, it’s a matter of opinion. Every opinion matters, but you have to keep in mind that Otayuri has shippers from all over the world, and the age of consent might vary. 

Here’s some data:

In many countries (at least in most of European/Western countries) the age of consent is set at 14-16. For example, where I come from (Italy, one of the most close-minded country I’ve ever seen, but things are slowly changing, thank God) it’s perfectly acceptable to have sex if you’re at least 14 -of course the consent is invalidated with partners who have custody or some kind of institutional power over you). In Italy you can even have sex at 13, but in this case your partner must be a minor him/herself and 3 years older tops, otherwise it’s punishable. So in Europe Otayuri is generally legal.

I don’t know much about American law, but I know for sure that A) the age of consent varies from State to State, and B) the most common one is 16. Same goes for Canada. So in Northern America Otayuri is generally legal as well. 

Yuri!!!! on Ice is a Japanese show. Kubo Mitsoru is Japanese. In Japan the age of consent is set at 13 (although in some prefectures every sexual act conducted on a minor is considered illegal, while in Tokyo the age consent is 17). Guess what? With some variation, in Japan Otayuri is legal.

In Kazakistan? Here the age of consent is set at 16, regardless of consent and sexual orientation (yes, in some countries taking it up the ass makes a difference, don’t ask me why). I’m getting tired of repeating myself, but according to the law of Kazakistan Otayuri is legal. 

This leaves Russia. “Article 134. Sexual Intercourse and Other Actions of Sexual Character with a Person Who Has Not Reached the Age of Sixteen Years: Sexual intercourse committed by a person who has reached the age of eighteen years with a person who has not reached the age of sixteen years shall be punishable […]”. That means that even in Nohomoland™ Otayuri would be legal. 

So, as you can see, most of these antis are not simply stating their opinion, which would be their right if they were to respect others as well. Otayuri is legal in almost every industrialized country (Arabia and Islamic countries are another matter, and I’m definetly not getting started on that), so why the fuck are people talking about pedophilia?!? Do you even know what a pedophile is? Apparently you don’t, and you’re lucky you don’t. 

A pedophile is the old beggar at the corner of the street who tried to shove his hands under my sister’s shirt when she was 5. A pedophile is a sick person, a dangeros person, a criminal who lusts after children. 

If that’s what you think of this when you watch YOI and see an Otayuri moment, then you’re lucky enough to not know what a real pedophile is. 

Keep in mind that every data I collected is taken from the Internet, since I’m not a law student nor I have access to legal data from the other side of the world, but I tried to be as accurate as possible. What I’m trying to say is that, if Otayuri makes you feel uncomfortable because of the age difference, you don’t have to bash other people because of it: every country has its own code in the matter, although there’s a general tendency, and that has nothing to do with ship wars. And keep in mind that the age of consent matter is an ongoing debate because it has little to do with age per se and more with psychological maturity. I mean, if we were to listen to Mother Nature, women would have the right to have sex at 12, 10 in some cases, since their bodies can bear children, right? 

It. Is. A. Matter. Of. Perspective. 

Full Script: History of Japan

 Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s ♫beautiful♫

In the year -1,000,000,000, Japan might not have been here. In the year -40,000, it was here and you could walk to it; and some people walked to it. Then, it got warmer, some ice bergs melted, it became an island, and now there’s lots of trees because it’s warmer.

So now, there’s people on the island. They’re basically sort of hanging out (in between the mountains), eating nuts off trees, and using the latest technology like stones and bowls.

Ding dong. 

It’s the outside world and they have technology from the future like really good metal and crazy rice farms. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own a farm, you own a lot of food. Which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you king. 

Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. But this one was the most most important. Ruled by a “heavenly superperson” or (emperor) for short. 

Knock knock. Get the door, it’s Religion.

The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from baekje. 

“Please try this religion.” he said. 

“No.” said everybody. 

Try it” he said. 

No.” said everybody again, quieter this time. 

And so, the religion was put into place and all of the rules that came with it. 

Then, the government was taken over by another clique, and they made some reforms like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China’s government, which is a government that governs more.

“Hi, China.” They said.

“Hi, dipshitsaid China.

“Can you call us something else, other than ‘dipshit’?” said Japan.

“Like what?” said China. 

♫How about sunrise land?said Japan.

And they stole China’s alphabet and wrote a book. About themselves. And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. Then, they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while. Right here. And they conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. 

A rich hipster named Kukai is bored with modern buddhism, visits China, and learns a better version which is more ♫spiritual♫, comes back, re-invents the alphabet, and causes art and literature to be ♫great for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn’t give a shit about running the country. 

So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals

♫Hire a samurai

Everyone started hiring samurai. 

  • *Rich important people hired samurai. 
  • *Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai.

The samurai became organized and powerful; more powerful than the government. So they made their own military government here. They let the emperor still be “emperor”, but the shogun is actually in control. 

Breaking news. The Mongols have invaded China.

“W̖͖̣̬̰̮͐ͯͩ̔͊e̥̜͕̱̝̓ͅ'̇ͪͫͮ́̈́v̞̼͍̿̋͌ê͓̜͎̪̼̻̦̆ i͈̣̬̘n͖̹͈̫͚͎͇͊ͬv̮͈͕͚͔͆́̌͊̀a̦̓d͆̄̄͊̃ͦ͒ḛ̖̮̭̦̗̾̈́̃ͪ̈́d̐ͧ C̘͒͑̃͒ͥ̚h̻̖̯̝̠̩͎̎̉̓̿̂̈́i̫͎̬͈̎̿̈́̆̄ͭn͙̮͉̖̑͛̿͗̚a͙̼͆.͈͇̠͖̭͎͍ͧ̆̍̆̂̆”said the Mongols. 

“Please respect us, or else we might invade you as well.”

“Okay.” said Japan. 

So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and died in a tornado. But they tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornado. Then, the emperor overthrows the shogun. Then, the shogun overthrows them back, and moves to Kyoto and makes a new shogun. And the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that’s fine. 

♫Now there’s more art

Painting with less colors. Collaborative poetry. Plays. Monkey fun. Tea parties. Gardening. Architecture. Flowers. 

It’s time for who’s going to be the next shogun?

Usually, it’s the shoguns kid, but the shogun doesn’t have a kid. So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says, “Okay.” But then the shogun has a kid. So now, who’s is going to be? Vote now on your phones. And everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn’t care. He was off somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces.

Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it’s anybody’s game.  

Knock knock. It’s Europe.

No, they’re not here to take over. They just want to sell some shit like clocks and guns and ♫Jesus♫. So that’s cool, but everyone’s still fighting each other for control. Now with guns. And wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital? Which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them. 

This clan is ready to make a run for it. But first, they have to trample this smaller clan which is in the way. Surprise. The smaller clan wins, and the leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. And it goes very well. He’s about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him kills him. And then someone else who works for him kills them. And that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody’s swords, and made some rules. 

“And now I’m going to invade Korea and then hopefully China.” he said. 

And failed.

And also died.

Before he died he told these five guys to take care of his five year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the five guys said, “Yeah, right. It’s not gonna be this kid. It’s gonna be one of us because we’re grownups.” And it’s probably gonna be this guy, who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others. A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight and he wins and starts a new government right here. 

♫~Edo~

And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor and have very nice things. But don’t get confused; this is the new government and they are (very strict). So strict, that they closed the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in, except for the Dutch, if they want to buy an sell shit. But they have to do it right here

Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, population increased a lot. Business increased. Schools were built. Roads were built. Everyone learned to read. Books were published. There was poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and Dutch studies. 

People started studying European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We’re talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity.

Over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow down. 

Knock knock. It’s the United States. 

With huge boats (with guns). Gunboats. 

Open. The country. Stop having it be closed.” said the United States.

There’s really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets the United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan anytime they want. Choshu and Satsuma hated this. 

“That sucks.” they said.

This sucks!”

And with almost very little outside help, they overthrew the shogun, and somehow, made the emperor, the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed, “Eastern Capital.” They made a new government, which was a lot more western. They made a new constitution, that was pretty western. And a military that was… Pretty western. 

And do you know what else was western? That’s right, it’s conquering stuff. So, what can we conquer? Korea. They conquer Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further, and Russia rushes in out of no where and says, “Stop. No, you can’t take that. We were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water.” 

And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shit ton of soldiers. And then, when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a fuck ton. Did I say “downgrade”? I meant “upgrade.” 

And Japan says:

Can you maybe chill?

And Russia says:

“How about maybe you chill?”

Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You’ll never guess who’s also kind of scared of Russia. Great Britain. So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop. 

♫~It’s time for World War 1~

The world is about to have a war. Because it’s the 1900s and weapons are getting crazy. And all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants m̞͇̲̗̖̥͚̬o̬̹͖̜ͅr̞̫͚e̲̹͉̩ and the next thing on their list is this part of China and lots of tiny islands. 

All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, which was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France’s ass because France was friends with Russia, who was getting ready to kick Austria’s ass because Austria was getting ready to kick Seriba’s ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria’s ass. Or, actually, shot him in the head. And Britain was currently friends with Japan, so you know what that means. Duh.

♫Japan should take the islands♫

Which, they wanted to do anyways. So they called Britain on the tele to sort of let them know. And then they did it. And they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. 

Now the war is over and, congratulations, Japan. You technically fought in the war, which means you get to sit at the negotiating table with the big dudes, where they decided who owns what. And, yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. You also get to join the post-war mega alliance.

♫The League of Nations

Whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. 

The Great Depression is bad, and Japan’s economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria, and the League of Nations is like:

No, don’t do that, if you’re in the League of Nations you’re not supposed to take over the world!”

And Japan is like:

♫~ How about I do, anyway?~

And Japan invaded more and more and more of China and was planning to invade the entire east.

You’ve got mail. 

It’s from Germany. The new leader of Germany. He has a cool mustache, and he’s trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. 

♫~It’s time for World War 2~

Germany is invading the neighbors, then they invade the neighbors neighbors, then the neighbors neighbors neighbors who happen to be Britain said, “Holy shit♫" And the United States started helping Britain because they are ♫Good friends♫. And started not helping Japan because their friends and our friends are not friends. Plus they’re planning on invading the entire ocean♫. The United States is also working on a large, very huge bomb, bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case. But they still haven’t joined the war. War looks bad on T.V., and the United States is really starting to care about their image. But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii, and challenges them to war. And they say, “Yes.” And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the Unites States also. 

So the United States goes to war in Europe and they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany and they also start chasing Japan back into Japan, and they haven’t used the bomb yet and are curious to see if it works. 

So they drop it on Japan. 

They actually drop two.

United States installed a new government inspired by the United States government, with just the right ingredients for a ♫post-war economic miracle♫. And Japan starts making T.Vs, V.C.R.s, automobiles, and camcorders, as fast as they can, and also better than everybody else. 

They get rich and the economy goes wild. And then the miracle wears off. But everything’s still pretty cool, I guess. 

♫Bye.

anonymous asked:

Would you recommend Trust Zone for a beginner who does not know the most about VPNs (yet)? I'm afraid of making a mistake when it comes to my privacy.

Yes. It’s very easy to use. Open it. Choose a server (preferably in a country close to yours. For internet speed reasons). Go to Google and search on ‘what’s my IP’ to see whether you are good to go. You good?  You are now much better protected! 

I am glad so many of you take online privacy seriously but now I have to post some prompts again. 

I Wonder (T’Challa)

word count: 7, 098 (hOLY FUCKING SHIT)

request: T'Challa x Queen!Reader one shot T'Challa defends the reader and her people after CW, even her dark/light energy manipulation and dark/light magic powers, T'Challa does this because he loves her and wishes to propose, and the reader loves T'Challa with all her heart and will stop at nothing to help him through difficult times, and she immediately says yes when T'Challa proposes to her.

requested by: anon

a/n: So, I just thought this was going to be a short fic (1k-2k) but, turns out I wrote an entire backstory to the reader and her kingdom, an AI best friend, and added her nearly into the entire movie of CACW just for T’Challa. It’s a long one but…interesting…I hope. Also, the reader hates Wanda at first but…read the until the end. Don’t sleep on this pls. Nobody died and it’s got a fluffy ending :)

Originally posted by miscellame

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WDW TBT - River Country in Florida

February 5, 2015

Today’s Throw-Back-Thursday is for a now abandoned water park here in Central Florida.  River Country at Walt Disney World was a seasonal park located near the Fort Wilderness Lodge. This first water park at WDW opened on June 20, 1976 and ceased operations on November 2, 2001. Four years later, Disney announced it would stay closed permanently. With Blizzard Beach and Typhoon Lagoon now open (they both opened in the ‘80’s), one more water park, especially a very old and small one, just isn’t necessary. In the almost 15 years since Its closure, the park is decrepit and falling apart; an epitome of a ghost park.

(Above: River Country when open)

Surprisingly, while I was raised here in Central Florida and went to WDW a lot, often camping in Ft. Wilderness, I never went to River Country. The water park looked like it was designed as some kind of cross between Tom Sawyer and Big Thunder Mountain Railroad; “an old-fashioned swimming hole” was Its theme; right down to the tire swings and rope bridges. Of course, back when it was created, the Imagineers didn’t understand the possible repercussions of some of their design choices. Such as, damming Bay Lake and using untreated, though filtered, fresh water for the park. This resulted in a water-born disease (with a 95% fatality rate) that killed at least one child.

(Above: Goofy was the official River Country Mascot)

(Below: The same slide today)

The park continued struggling on, barely making a profit with the competition of the two, newer water parks. Then, citing declining tourism rates everywhere after 9/11, the decision was to close the park, with a possibility of reopening at some point. However, that idea was abandoned in 2005 when Disney announced it would not reopen. It may also have had to do with “a change in Florida laws, which prohibited unchlorinated natural water bodies from being used for water park attractions”. [Wikipedia] It would have taken major overhauling to accomplish this change, and it just wasn’t worth it.

(Above: Main swimming hole then, a fresh-water lake… Below: and today)

Want to hear something REALLY creepy? The park has been closed 14 years. Occasionally, people sneak in to the park, taking pictures or video. Let’s face it…who ISN’T intrigued by abandoned amusement parks? I’ve got a whole board on my Pinterest page dedicated to just that subject! ( www.pinterest.com/guinnesswench )More than one person reports that path lights, water fountains, and plumbing still work and the park’s banjo MUSIC IS STILL PLAYING. Here’s a video of two guys who snuck in at twilight. Eerie. 

(listen for the music about 3 minutes into the clip)

I haven’t been able to find any reason why the park was simply abandoned instead of being demolished. Most of the park was left in place, even towel boxes, rafts, etc., as if it fully planned to reopen for business. You would think that demolishing it would be preferable both for a liability issue (you just know at some point, some idiot is going to sneak in and get killed) and an environmental one. I can tell you, it doesn’t take long for things that are left neglected in Florida to be reclaimed by swamp. I just can’t believe the deterioration doesn’t hurt the environment. And why not use the land to create something useful?

(Water slides and pool then and now)

At any rate, if you never made it to River Country, it has to go on the “Things you’ll never see again at Disney” list. Then head over to Blizzard Beach or Typhoon Lagoon for a bigger and better water park.

(Above: What remains of River Country)

psychic: reads my mind
me: japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s ♫ beautiful ♫ in the year negative a billion japan might not’ve been here. in the year negative 40,000 it was here. and you could walk to it. and some people walked to it. then it got warmer, some icebergs melted, it became an island and now there’s lots of ~trees~ (because it’s warmer.) so now there’s people on  the island, they’re basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology. like stones. and bowls. ding dong, it’s the outside world and they have technology from the future. like really good metal. and crazy rice farms. now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. that means if you own the farm, you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to /survive/. so that makes you king. rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land, all the way to here. the most important kingdoms were here, here, here, here, here, here and here. but this one was the most most important, ruled by a “heavenly superperson”, called emperor for short. knock knock. get the door, it’s religion. the new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from baekje. “please try this religion,” he said. “no,” said everybody. “try it,” he said. “no,” said everybody again, quieter this time. and so the religion was put into place, and all the rules that came with it. then the government was taken over by another clique, and they made some reforms, like making the government govern more, and making the government more like china’s government, which is a government that governs more. “hi china,” they said. “hi dipshit,” said china. “can you call us something else, other than dipshit?” said japan. “like what?” said china. “♫ how about sunrise land? ♫” said japan. and they stole china’s alphabet and wrote a book. about themselves. and then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while. right here. and they conquered the north finally, get that squared away. a rich hipster named kukai is bored with modern buddhism, visits china and learns a better version which is more ~spiritual~ comes back, reinvents the alphabet and causes art and literature to be ~great~ for a long time. and the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn’t give a shit about running the country. so if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ♫ hire a samurai ♫ everyone started hiring samurai. (correction: rich important people hired samurai. poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai.) the samurai became organized and powerful, more powerful than the government. so they made their own military government, here. they let the emperor still be “emperor”, but the shogun is actually in control. BREAKING NEWS the Mongols have invaded China. “we’ve invaded china,” said the mongols. “please respect us, or else we might invade you as well.” “okay,” said japan. so the mongols came over, ready for war, and died in a tornado. but they tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the japanese but then died in a tornado. then the emperor overthrows the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moves to kyoto and makes a new shogunate. and the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that’s fine. ♫ now there’s more art ♫ like painting with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers. it’s time for who’s going to be the next shogun? usually it’s the shogun’s kid. but the shogun doesn’t have a kid, so he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. he says ok. but then the shogun has a kid. so now who’s it gonna be? vote now on your phones. and everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. the shogun actually didn’t care, he was off somewhere doing poetry. and the whole country broke into pieces. everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it’s anybody’s game. knock knock. it’s europe. no, they’re not here to take over (yet) they just wanna sell some shit. like clocks. and guns. and ~jesus~. so that’s cool, but everyone’s still fighting with each other for control. now with guns!! and wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them? this clan is ready to make a run for it, but first they have to trample this smaller clan which is in the way. surprise, the smaller clan wins, and the leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital, and it goes very well. he’s about halfway through conquering japan when someone who works for him kills him, and then someone else who works for him kills them. and that guy finishes conquering japan. and then he confiscated everybody’s swords and made some rules. “and now i’m going to invade korea, and then hopefully china,” he said and failed, and also died. but before he died, he told these five guys to take care of his 5 year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of japan. and the five guys said “Yeah, Right. it’s not gonna be this kid. it’s gonna be one of Us. cuz we’re /grownups/.” and it’s probably gonna be this guy who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others. a lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. they have a fight, and he wins, and starts a new government, right here ~Edo~ and he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor and have very nice things. but don’t get confused. this is the new government, and they are very strict. so strict they closed the country. no one can leave, and no one can come in. except for the dutch, if they want to buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here. now that the entire country was not at war with itself the population increased a lot. business increased, schools were built, roads were built, everyone learned to read, books were published, there was poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and dutch studies. people started to study european science from books they bought from the dutch. we’re talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, maybe even electricity. over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow down- knock knock. it’s the United States. with huge boats. (with guns) (gunboats) “open the country. stop having it be closed.” said the united states. there’s really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets united states, britain and russia visit japan anytime they want. choshu and satsuma hated this. “that sucks.” they said. “this sucks!!!!” and with almost very little outside help, they overthrew the shogunate, and somehow made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to edo which they renamed eastern capital. they made a new government which was “a lot more western”. they made a new constitution that was pretty western and a military that was pretty western. and do you know what else is western? that’s right, it’s conquering stuff. so what can we conquer? korea. they conquer korea, taking it from its previous owner china, and then go a little bit further. and russia rushes in out of nowhere and says “stop, no, you can’t take that. we were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water.” and russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shit ton of soldiers. and then when the railroad was done they downgraded to a fuck ton. (did i say downgrade? i meant upgrade.) and japan says “can you maybe chill?” and russia says “How About Maybe You Chill?” japan’s kinda scared of russia. you’ll never guess who’s also kinda scared of russia. great britain. so japan and great britain make an alliance together so they can be “a little less scared of Russia”. feeling confident, japan goes to war against russia, just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop. ♫ it’s time for World War 1 ♫ The World is about to Have A War because it’s the 1900’s and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. meanwhile japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants m o r e and the next thing on our list is this part of china and lots of tiny islands. all that stuff belongs to germany, which has just had war declared on them by britain, because britain was friends with belgium, which is being trespassed by germany in order to get to france to kick france’s ass because france is friends with russia who is getting ready to kick austria’s ass because austria is getting ready to kick serbia’s ass because someone from serbia shot the leader of austria’s ass. (er, actually shot him in the head.) and britain is currently friends with japan, so you know what that means? duh. ♫ japan should take the islands ♫ which they wanted to do anyway. so they called britain on the tele to sort of let them know. and then they did it. and they also helped britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. now the war is over and congratulations japan you technically fought in the war which means you get to sit at the negotiating table with the big dudes where they decided who owns what. and yes, japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from germany. you also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫ the League of Nations ♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. the great depression is bad and japan’s economy is now crappy. but the military is doing just fine and it invades manchuria. and the League of Nations is like “no, don’t do that, if you’re in the league of nations you’re not supposed to take over the world!” but japan said ♫ how bout i do anyway? ♫ and japan invaded more and more and more and more of china and was planning to invade the entire east. You’ve Got Mail it’s from germany. the new leader of germany. he has a cool moustache and is trying to take over the world and needs friends. this also got forwarded to italy, and they all decided to be friends because they have so much in common. ♫ it’s time for World War 2 ♫ (the sequel) germany is invading the neighbors. then they invade the neighbor’s neighbors. then the neighbor’s neighbor’s neighbors, who happened to be britain said “holy shit” and the united states started helping britain because they are ♫ good friends ♫ and started not helping japan because ♫ their friends and our friends are not friends ♫ ♫ plus they’re planning on invading the entire ocean ♫ the united states is also working on a large very huge bomb, bigger than any other bomb, ever™, just in case. but they still haven’t joined the war. war looks bad on tv, and the united states is really starting to care about their image. but then japan spits on them in hawaii and challenges them to war, and they say yes. and then germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the united states also, and so the united states goes to war in europe. and they help the gang chase germany back in to germany, and they also start chasing japan back into japan. and they haven’t used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works, so they drop it on japan. they actually drop two. united states installed a new government inspired by the united states government with just the right ingredients for a ♫ post-war economic miracle ♫ and japan starts making tvs, vcrs automobiles and camcorders as fast as they can and also better than everybody else. they get rich and the economy goes wild and then the miracle wears off but everything’s still pretty cool i guess ♫ bye ♫
psychic: what the fuck

Last week, President Trump signed an executive order suspending new-refugee admissions for 120 days and blocking travelers from seven Muslim-majority countries — Iraq, Iran, Syria, Yemen, Sudan, Libya and Somalia — for 90 days. Syrian refugees are banned indefinitely.

The move caused immediate controversy, sparking protests in cities and airports around the U.S. as federal authorities began enforcing the ban, preventing hundreds of travelers from boarding planes over the weekend. Other travelers and refugees landing in the U.S. have been detained or sent back. Federal judges quickly weighed in to issue temporary stays, and the future of the executive order will very likely be determined in court. The Trump administration has also come under criticism from scores of countries, including close allies.

At the same time, a recent poll by Reuters/Ipsos shows public opinion narrowly backing Trump’s action, with 49 percent of Americans agreeing with the order while 41 percent disagreed.

NPR and dozens of member stations wanted to help the public understand where its lawmakers stand on the issue. Collectively, we searched for public statements on Twitter and Facebook, on lawmakers’ websites and in interviews with us in public media or other news organizations. We did this for each of the 536 members of Congress — 100 senators, 435 voting members of the House, and the District of Columbia’s nonvoting House delegate.

Where Does Your Member Of Congress Stand On Trump’s Immigration Order?

Photo: Gabriella Demczuk for NPR