8

who thought it was a solid plan to put Anakin in charge of thousands of impressionable 12-year-olds honestly i ask you

if luke and leia were born during the clone wars

like, during season 4, not after when everything went terribly wrong

- Padme, 6-9 months pregnant, rushes into combat all the time. Anakin has an aneurysm. “YOU ARE A SENATOR. HOW DO YOU GET SHOT AT ALL THE TIME???” and yet she never actually takes damage because she is ~flawless~

- officially, Padme’s children have no father. In an interview with the press, she said “I wanted a baby, so I acquired one” and that’s that. unofficially, anyone with the Force knows Anakin is the father. Honestly, anyone with eyes knows Anakin is the father.

- because you know how Anakin and Padme are the least subtle secret couple? Yeah, that goes out the window when she gets pregnant. Anakin kisses her mid-battle and smooches her back at camp and watches her with stars in his eyes and professes his love for her all the time. When Padme asks about this, he just shrugs and says “well they haven’t kicked me out of the order yet!”

- which is mostly because of Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is deliberately pretending he didn’t see his former padawan makeout with a senator. it’s like, okay, he knows he’s supposed to do something about this, but they are in the middle of a war, and if they have to kick Anakin out of the Order right now for knocking up a senator then they will lose this war. Obi-Wan has more important things to worry about than Anakin’s libido. 

- KIX  👐 TELLS  👐 PADME  👐 THERE  👐 ARE  👐 TWIN  👐 BABIES  👐 IN  👐 THERE  👐

- speaking of the clones, oh man, they are so fiercely protective of Padme. She is their general’s lady and their senator and they would gladly die before letting her or her babies get hurt.

- (but also, preggars Padme makes them sad, because will any of them ever get that for themselves? probably not–they were made to die, and with the rapid aging…but maybe one day…)

- Rex has absolutely had to go get weird food combinations in the middle of the night for his general’s wife. absolutely. that is in Rex’s job description.

- also you thought Padme gave effective speeches before? Imagine pregnant Padme giving speeches about needing to end the war for peace for the future. 110% approval rating comes from soft pregnancy glow.

- the twins are born on a battlefield in a camp where there’s blasterfire and smoke not two feet away. Obi-Wan is there, and he intends to tell Anakin and Padme both that he’s sorry, that they’ll get the twins for a little while, but they’ll have to go to the temple, they’ll have to be raised in the creche–

- but then luke is born, and the Force screams at Obi-Wan this is your padawan and obi-wan goes “oh” softly.

- also, Leia comes into the world and Ahsoka watches and goes “oh look it’s my padawan. I mean I’m a padawan myself but that girl is going to be my padawan some day this is rad.”

- so Anakin relaxes a bit, ‘cause the Force is going to take care of its grandchildren okay, it wants it’s favorite son to be happy.

- which means Palpatine has lost any and all chance of converting Anakin to the dark side. It will never happen now.

- i’m not saying that after they are born, Anakin and Padme strap a twin each to their back and then head out into battle, but Luke and Leia’s first lullaby is the sound of blasterfire and lightsabers

A complete @orphanblack family tree updated to include both the final season and the Helsinki comics. I’m sorry it took me so long, I was collecting stool samples in Sardinia (actually malaria data in Rwanda, but same idea) and now I’m finally caught up. Please let me know if you see any major errors.

There is a full sized version available over here.

A huge thank you to @adherantnerdhi, @afrenchclone, and @spotlesssky for fact checking and their input!

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