“All I have to say is that [throughout the prequels, Natalie Portman] walks through a doorway, and has a wardrobe change. I got one, sorry,two dresses [in the first film], and the first one [looks] the same all the way around.”
For All Other Femslash Fandoms Not Watching Carmilla: Why the Hell Not
So to all the clone clubbers, lost girl fans, swan queen, bubbline, kigo, and any other fandom seeing this on your dashboard (or want to)
This is Carmilla:
So you may be thinking great, another queer-baiting show, except get this. Almost every character is queer AND female. No baiting, just straight up canon.
Carmilla is a modern web series adaptation of the book Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan de Le Fanu. Basically it’s a college AU.
There’s also the matter of the cast:
This is Tiny Gay Laura:
She has hilarious one liners like this
And this is what she thinks about Twilight
What’s not to like? Although the series is called Carmilla, it’s really her story. (above 3 gifs are from carmilla-karnstein)
Let me introduce you to Tall Gay Danny:
Yeah, she’s 6’2. Laura’s 5’2 when she’s having a happy day I finally understand the appeal of height difference. We all agree she’s an Amazonian goddess and a total puppy. Except when she’s worried about Laura. Then she basically evolves into a grizzly bear. Think Teddiursa into Ursaring. Yeah. Don’t hurt Laura. Ever.
(souce for the above goes to danasoupchef) Also, Laura really is that tiny. There’s a reason her tag is Tiny Gay Laura (other than the gay part. That part’s also true)
This is Sullen Broody Gay Carmilla
She’s a philosophy major and we like to call a useless lesbian because she is.
Carmilla and Laura become roommates after Laura’s old roommate went missing. Plus, there’s Danny, Laura’s cute Lit TA that’s part of an all girl outdoor social club
Tall Gay Danny and Broody Gay Carmilla are both overwhelmed with feels and Tiny Gay Laura doesn’t know what to do about it There’s also Only Gay for LaF Lola Perry
(credits: tallgaydanny) She’s basically the mom Very Gay Lafontaine
(source: @frenchfrysplash) They’re the other parent. LaF is also CANONICALLY non-binary and prefers they/them pronouns. They are also super protective of Laura and a bio major so Science!. Not to mention they’re always on the know and have some of the best one liners. LaHollis is the BrOTP name and Elise and Kaitlyn (Laura and LaFontaine respectively) are the captains
They are also an old married couple and their ship name is LaFerry. And yes there is a love triangle but here me out: lesbians.Adorable useless lesbians See also:
Yes, Seduction Eyes Like these:
And Seduction Gifts (although these are slightly less successful)
(source for above 2 gifs: @neither-saint-nor-sinner) But the Seduction Smiles are working great
Plus Seduction Touches, but we haven’t gotten into those too much yet.
Although Danny doesn’t like that very much
(source: stelmarias) See also: Natasha Negovanlis speaks at least two languages: English and eyebrow. Seriously. Eyebrow game so strong with this one.
Laura thinks that Carmilla wants to eat her.
I would agree. Although my definition may be slightly different than hers.
Laura and Carmilla’s ship name is Stars and Candles (I am going to make it happen if it’s the last thing I do. And considering how long this just took me, this might be). I’ve never really understood the appeal of an OT3 before this show, but now I can say I’ve seen the light. Some people ship Danny x Laura, some Stars and Candles ( :D ), and some even ship Danny and Carmilla. We all ship Perry and Laf. It’s cool, though, there aren’t any ship wars, mostly because we’re all so happy that are ships actually have the possibility of becoming canon
We also have interactive social media. Like the characters Carmilla and Laura both have a tumblr and a twitter and LaFontaine also recently started a twitter (yes, the characters, not the actresses. Although they have twitters too). The actor that portrays Laf, Kaitlyn Alexander (kbearluna) , has a tumblr and is our captain. So does one of the producers hotladypants and one of the writers, anamatics, who sometimes writes non-canon fanfiction for the show. They’re great (albeit they are some of the trolliest trolls to ever troll. Just a little)!
The fandom is great, like there is no fighting and we all ship everything. It’s awesome.
The series is on Vervegirl and updates twice a week on Tuesday and Thursday and each episode is only 3-6 minutes so it isn’t all that hard to catch up. They are on Episode 18 and the season is going to have 36 (fingers crossed for renewal!)
Held her own against General Grievous, someone who ate more experienced Jedi than her for breakfast, TWICE.
Also fought toe-to-toe with Asajj Ventress, the apprentice of Count Dooku himself, who even a Jedi master like Luminara Unduli struggled to fight alone.
Resisted the Blue Shadow Virus, which is essentially the Black Plague in space, for a whole day.
Helped destroy a massive Seperatist droid factory, and survived in the rubble long enough to call for help.
Got her stolen lightsaber back before her master even realized it was ever gone.
Saved Duchess Satine Kryze from her own traitorous Prime Minister.
Took down Aurra Sing, one of the deadliest bounty hunters of her time, twice.
Survived the Citadel, a prison infamous for being nearly impossible to escape, and killed the warden.
Escaped a group of Trandoshians that attempted to hunt her for sport and killed their leader, while inspiring her fellow prisoners to believe in themselves and fight back.
Was one of only two people to not get captured during the battle of Mon Cala.
Helped take down the Zygerrian slave empire.
Escaped the clutches of a Mandalorian terrorist group and in the process of doing so, fought toe-to-toe with their leader, decapitated four of them at once, and stabbed one of them i the gut with a makeshift spear, all while dragging her useless idiot of a love interest around.
Stood up to three deadly criminals to protect her unconscious master.
Helped a group of insurgents overthrow a corrupt king and take their planet back.
Protected six younglings from pirates, and later from Grievous.
Avoided capture after being framed for murder for what appears to have been a whole night.
Stopped Darth Sidious, THE most powerful sith lord of ALL TIME, from getting into a holocron vault.
Fought Darth Maul, someone who killed a jedi master, twice.
Was a major figure in the growing Rebel Alliance.
Took down two sith inquisitors without breaking a sweat.
And last but certainly not least, fought toe-to-toe with Darth Vader, the jedi killer, the chosen one himslef, in a collapsing sith temple, and lived.
Padmé: “Are you allowed to love? I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi.” Anakin: “Attachment is… forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life… so, you might say, we are encouraged to love.” Padmé: “You’ve changed so much…” Anakin: “You haven’t changed a bit. You’re exactly the way I remember you in my dreams.”
I’ve created a division in myself. There is the Queen, and there is Padmé. I am both of them, of course. But I find that I can only be one at a time. I wonder what it would be like to have no secrets. To be Padmé and Queen, together. Ruler and girl. Mind and heart
Can we talk for a second about the scene in Attack of the Clones where Padme falls out of the gunship on Geonosis?
So before this, she’s been slashed on the back by the Nexu in the arena (conveniently giving her a sexy midriff baring top.) During the entire battle she’s got some pretty gnarly cuts all across her back.
Then she FALLS out of a gunship (who knows how far) and rolls down a hill in SAND. Basically all I can think about is all of the sand in her open wounds and how much that would fucking hurt. Like she would be writhing in pain probably and need immediate medical attention from the fall.
Of course our girl jumps up and is like “Get me a transport, assholes!”
Basically, she’s either a complete badass or George didn’t think about all the shit he put her through on Geonosis and that she should be in a hospital heavily medicated.
Thank you for your time on this very important post.