cloak-and-dagger

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OMG MY WEE BABIES

LOOK HOW TINY AND FRAGILE THEY ARE

ORIGIN STORY NOW INCLUDES TYRONE SAVING TANDY WHEN THEY WERE EVEN MORE WEE

10/10 FEELING NOSTALGIC AF

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FIRST ‘CLOAK AND DAGGER’ TRAILER IS HERE!

The show will air on freeform in 2018!

Cloak and Dagger: a guide for people who do not know them

So I have seen people who watched the trailer and say to themselves, “I don’t know anything about them, but…” And I am like, “well let me tell you.”

Cloak, Tyrone Johnson, and Dagger, Tandy Bowen, were just typical teens. Well they were runaway teens who were fleeing from trouble in their life. Tyrone was fleeing from the cops because he is a black man in 1980s America. And Tandy was fleeing from a sexually abusive home.

And then someone took them in any gave them super powered experimental heroine and then bam, they are the physical embodiment of a Rorschach painting. Okay I’ll let them elaborate.

So they gained their powers which has the unfortunate, but also true implication that drugs give you super powers. Yeah.

Sure, I’ll take your word for it. 

Okay, so they were experimented on by a Doctor Simon Marshall who created Mr. Negative, a Chinese Smuggler, who was distributing the drug that created Cloak and Dagger. Anyways, the duo were not the most forgiving of vigilantes at the start.

They were angry pissed off teens. At first, in their debut, Spider-man was fervently against them. And then he learned of their tragic origin, and let’s say he was bought in.

Jesus, 1970s comics were so corny.

The above probably won’t be pertinent to the show because they are most likely dropping the drug origins because Disney is a bunch of punks.

Anyways, Cloak has the power to bring the void or the Darkforce which allows him to consume people into a place that absorbs any source of light from people’s bodies. He can also teleport and shit.

His power has a huge drawback which forces him to hunger and want to consume as much light as possible. He also can’yt wear normal clothes outside the titular “cloak.” He is pretty much a void. So dude is a walking Eldrich Abomination.

Dagger has the power to create light daggers and produce light as pictured above. She has a large supply of light that allows Cloak to feed without this comic turning into a Stephen King novel.

Of course, her power has drawbacks too.

So they need each other to survive from being monsters.

Now you would think that light and darkness and people of the opposite sex would be in some sort of relationship since they literally are all they know and only depend on each other, but nope. I mean I have seen hetero couples become items off of pure unadulterated bullshit and be spontaneously fucking and shit on a whim, but two characters that have been around one another and slept, non-sexually, with each other have not ever been an item in their 30 year history. 

Until Bendis decided to indulge his interracial pairing kick and made the two lovers in the Ultimate Universe.

While I am at it, I might as well do an Ultimate Universe interpretation of the duop because I suspect they are borrowing from that adaptation as well.

Cloak and Dagger were just typical teens who were School Presidents at their respective schools. They met each other at a fast food joint, went to prom, and then got into an accident.

They were declared dead in the accident and their comatose bodies were abducted by Roxxon after Roxxon lied to their parents saying that they died in a hospital accident.

Why is Mr. Sinister, Layla Miller, Dr. Zola, and Dr. Samual Sterns involved? These are Ultimate Universe things.

Anyways, they wake up.

D’aaaaawwwwww

Okay, it is shame that Netflix is not picking up the series because…could you imagine the sex?

No really, it is not like typical super human rough sex that Twilight likes to imagine as great sex. I am talking about truly aesthetically pleasing sex. Not great as in the actual intercourse, but like a firework show in a black hole kind of thing. Like a Jackson Pollock Painting.

I can’t be the only one. I mean having these two get together and depicting the intercourse would be immaculate. 

It would be beautiful.

Oh, don’t act like I am the only one who thought about this? No don’t you look at me like that, motherfucker. I am not alone. Don’t kinkshame me.