cling films

Skyrim jazbay crostata

Jazbay grapes are found on rocky terrain or near hot springs throughout Skyrim. Their rich flavour is so prized that in olden times, permission was required from the Emperor to pick them. While they are no longer banned to the common folk, gathering jazbay is tiresome as they are still rare. If you manage to get your hands on some though, this delicious crostata is perfect for regenerating your magicka (and it tastes amazing too)!

You will need:
Pastry
250g flour
124g butter, very cold and diced
25g caster sugar
2 large egg yolks
3 tbsp milk
Pinch of salt

Filling
3 cups red seedless grapes
½ cup mascarpone cheese
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp heavy cream
1 tsp lemon juice
1 egg yolk
Butter, for brushing

Method:
For the pastry, place the flour, butter, salt, and sugar into a food processor and blend until the consistency of breadcrumbs has been reached. Add the egg yolks and milk, then blend again until the dough forms.

Turn the dough onto a floured surface and knead briefly, then wrap in cling film and chill for at least 30 minutes.

Preheat your oven to 205C/400F. Roll out your pastry dough into a centimetre-thick circle with a slight well in the centre (think of a pizza) and set aside on a greased baking tray. Don’t worry if it’s not perfect!

Combine the mascarpone, lemon juice, vanilla, cream, egg yolk, and sugar. Whip until fluffy and spoon into the well of the pastry. Brush the exposed pastry generously with butter.

Top evenly with grapes and bake for 45-50 minutes. If the pastry browns too quickly, cover your crostata with tin foil for the remaining time.

home is wherever I’m with you

[read on ao3]

She isn’t one to back down from a fight, but Emma knows the feeling of the tide turning against her well enough to recognize the choice to drown or get out of the undertow.

Facing down the Black Fairy after getting hit so hard by a giant spider that she’s still seeing double – when her only ally here is someone who tried to murder her and banished her True Love to another realm- seems like something of a poor decision. And continuing on when said ally collapses into little more than a pile of robes beside her, while the Black Fairy monologues unceasingly about her overcomplicated plan to take over Storybrooke, is something Emma Swan simply does not have time for at the moment. A strategic retreat is definitely in order.

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So Far Away // Min Yoongi

Originally posted by jeonbase

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Angst // Fluff

Summary: Yoongi comes home to find you listening to his mixtape, crying at the heart wrenching lyrics detailed in his song.

Please note that this scenario contains mentions of depression.


You knew that Yoongi would probably be at the studio when his mixtape was released – it was his second home after all. Usually, you found yourself pining for him to come home more often than not but tonight, things were different. You’d been waiting so long to finally hear his solo work after so many months of secrecy, privacy and being unable to crawl into bed beside him that you were glad to have this moment to yourself to listen to it when there was no one around – especially him. You knew that it would be personal snippets of his life that he hadn’t really revealed to anyone in great detail. Yoongi was a private person, not even sharing the extent of his past with you as he often said it would just be a downer on the relationship – even though you so desperately wished he would think otherwise.

Then, right on queue – you saw each song one by one getting uploaded to BTS’s soundcloud. You felt excited and anxious to go through each one and delve into your boyfriend’s talented lyrical abilities, digging deeper into each sentence and deciphering what it really meant as Yoongi always spoke with two meanings. However, as you inched yourself closer to the computer screen in your shared apartment, one song in particular caught your eye. “So Far Away…” you whispered to yourself, plugging your headphones into the computer before curling your knees up to your chest, ready and waiting to hear the sound of your boyfriend’s intense rap that always managed to leave you speechless when he spoke from the heart.


Yoongi arrived home, shutting the door quietly behind him – thinking that you were probably out like a light and tucked up in bed as he hung his coat up and made his way into the kitchen to get a drink. As he poured himself a glass of water from the jug on the table, he seen a plate sitting out for him, wrapped in cling film as he smiled sheepishly to himself – knowing that you had left it out especially for him as you always did. “What would I do without her?” he asked himself as he tore off the film to reveal your delicious beef stew that he could never get enough of. Seeing as it was now stone cold, he walked with it over to the microwave, opening the small swinging door and setting it inside before shutting the door again and wondering to himself how long he should heat it up for.

It was then, he heard barely audible sniffs and whimpers coming from the bedroom as he pricked up his ears, letting his mouth hang open just a little before stepping back and looking off in the direction of the bedroom door which was slightly ajar.

“(Y/N)?” He called out softly in his deep voice, waiting to hear the sound of your cheery reply but being confused when all he heard was another muffled sniffle. “What is she doing?” he thought as he began walking quickly but quietly towards the door, peaking behind it to see you perched on the computer chair – in complete floods of tears as you listened to something through your headphones. He slid through the small crack, being careful not to let too much light flood into the room and startle you as he inched his way on his toes towards you, peering over your shoulder at what you were listening to.

His eyes widened when he seen that you had listened through his entire mixtape as tears continued to fall from your eyes on one particular song. Biting his lip, he bravely placed his hands on your shoulders, causing you to jump slightly before removing your headphones immediately – spinning round in the chair to be met by his worried face.

“Yoongi!” you whispered loudly, crashing into his body as draping your arms around him as he promptly sat down on the bed and pulled you into his embrace and on to his lap, always loving the most affectionate sides of you as he let his fingertips course through your hair while you continued to sob gently into his shirt.

“Baby, why you crying…hm?” he spoke gently in your ear – his voice a constant reminder of the lyrics you just heard him say in his song.

“I listened to your mixtape and I just” you stopped, looking into his eyes as he smiled at you genuinely, taking your cheek in the palm of his hand and caressing it delicately.

“You just?” he continued to smile at you “You like it?”

“I love it but…there’s one verse in particular I can’t get out of my head” you said, as you had memorized the painful words off by heart. Yoongi tilted his head at you, waiting patiently for you to continue.

“I’m living because I can’t die…I’m in so much pain and loneliness…I’m scared to open my eyes everyday and start breathing…” you stopped, feeling your heart twist and turn in the most excruciating way possible as you just watched Yoongi nod at you, blinking slowly as his hands found their way on top of your hips, swallowing harshly before opening his mouth to speak.

“A time ago, I felt like this. Like I was useless and I’d nothing to live for. Getting out of bed in the morning was physically and emotionally impossible and I felt like I had no one to turn to…no one who truly cared about me” he looked deep into your eyes as he spoke, wiping away your tears as they continued to fall from your red and puffy eyes.

“But you know what?” he asked, his voice raising itself a few tones – drawing your attention in even closer and you pressed your forehead against his, feeling his steady heartbeat and the warmth of his body on yours.

“That’s the past. And it reminds me now that I have someone who cares about me – someone who makes it worth my while to wake up and keep breathing every day – someone who makes me want to live because she taught me that life is worth living with her. Do you know who that person is?” he raised your chin with his soft fingertips as he brushed his nose against yours, pulling a cute face that he knew could always make you smile no matter what.

“No, who is it?” you asked, partially knowing the answer but needing the closure of it coming from his mouth.

“There are three things in my life that I couldn’t live without. The first is music, the second is a warm bed to sleep in” he paused, his eyes burning with love and endearment at how affected you were by his past but still loving him nonetheless.

“The third is you, (Y/N). You’re one of three things that I live for. You helped make all the bad things go away…

…and you still do, every day.”

Untitled high school omegaverse

For @hannigram-a-b-o-library and SummertimeSlick, here’s a bit of the A/B/O AU where Will is sweet seventeen and goes into–you guessed it–surprise heat. Soshite Koi ga Hajimaru: Hannigram edition, basically.  

Assume this Hannibal is nice-ish, though exactly how nice is unclear. No sex, just age difference, heat, and bodily grossness. 

Edit: completed version now here on AO3.

*

Quiet in the hallways:  class in session.  The guidance counselor greeted Hannibal outside the nurse’s office with a rueful smile.  

“Thanks for coming on short notice.”

“Not at all,” said Hannibal.  "How’s the late bloomer?“

"Not happy,” said Dr. Bloom.  "We haven’t been able to reach his father—he’s a contractor, does boat repairs.  Mom’s not in the picture.“

”‘Not happy.’  Physical distress?“

"More emotional.  He thought of himself as a beta until today, and I think he felt secure in that identity.  It’s a lot to process.”

“It certainly can be,” said Hannibal.  "A senior, you said?“

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Imagine you and Emily pranking the pack

Emily: ‘Quick, Y/N finish taping the cling film, they’ll smell the muffins any minute now.’ Flashing you a grin and she spoke.

Y/N: ‘Done! Call them in.’

Emily: ‘Muffins are ready!’ she yelled,so they could hear from where they were messing about outdoors.

Before you knew it there was a slapping noise, followed by the thuds of their fumbling bodies falling on top of one another. You and Emily would never let them forget this.

(Y/N- Your name)

GIF Source:https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thedailybeast.com%2Farticles%2F2015%2F12%2F18%2Famy-poehler-on-her-badass-lady-squad-from-new-pal-hillary-clinton-to-bff-tina-fey.html&psig=AFQjCNHgIM182KXYcLEpq3xY__ONeO0FnA&ust=1477518797448043

in izombie 2x08, liv and ravi pretend to be engaged for an investigation. in 3x08, liv and ravi pretend to be married for an investigation.

so at some point, they had to have had a pretend wedding, right??? (and it probably did happen in the morgue) (with a cling film wedding veil glued to a paper tiara) (and onion rings in place of wedding rings) (extra spicy for liv)

More Than ‘Just Friends’ // Mark Tuan

Originally posted by iaebum

Pairing: Mark x Reader (ft. Jackson)

Genre: Fluff, angst

Summary; You’re Mark’s childhood friend. You’ve both always had a thing for each other, but neither of you have been able to verbalise it. However, upon Jackson becoming a little too friendly with you; Mark can’t hold back any longer.

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How to frost a layer cake like a profesh when you aren’t one

Wotcher folks, it’s your friendly neighbourhood cosplayer/baker extraordinaire back with another baking tutorial… because I’ve got a really good handle on my blog audience, as you can tell.

I made a birthday cake for one of my best friends this weekend - and despite it being one of the hottest weekends of the year, it turned out pretty well. It was actually really straight-forward, so I filmed a few gifs of the decorating process should any of you ever fancy making a simple celebration/birthday cake. So, grab a cup of tea or alcoholic beverage of your choice, and let’s do this.

Make your cakes

I followed Jessica’s proper legend chocolate cake recipe for the sponges in this cake. I used two packs of cake mix, baked them in two six-inch cake tins, wrapped them in cling film and left them in the fridge to chill over night. This is pretty important, because your cakes will be waaaay easier to handle if they are nice and cold.

Cut your cake layers

It’s not essential, but if you have a cake turntable then now is the time to use it. They’re those cool spinny things that profesh cake decorators always seem to use. 

And because I’m a genius, I’ll put a chopping board on top of my turntable, which gives me a sturdier base and lets me have more control when I’m cutting the cake.

Another tool that is really useful is a wire cake cutter. This is for all those people who can’t slice a loaf of bread without ending up with three different-sized wedges *raises hand*. Essentially it allows you to cut nice straight layers, which is important if you don’t want your cake to look like the leaning tower of Pisa. If that’s what you were going for, continue as you were.

Get a helpful sibling to steady the cake for you, either by asking nicely or threatening them with a rolling pin. Cut the domed top of your cake off, so you have a flat top, and then cut that in half again. If you do that with both your cakes, you’ll have four layers, and some yummy cake scraps that you just have to… dispose of… somehow??

Make the buttercream

You can use lots of different types of frosting for a layer cake. Swiss meringue buttercream is a popular choice, but given it was a stupidly hot weekend, and swiss meringue does not hold up well in the heat, I went with regular old buttercream using this recipe.

Your first step is to beat your butter. It needs to be the unsalted type you get in blocks or sticks, and it needs to be really soft. So make sure you leave it out of the fringe for a few hours before using. Get a stand mixer or electric mixer or dem guns if you’re feeling really buff and beat the butter until it goes from this…

….to this. It will turn a much paler colour and get all big and fluffy. 

Then you gotta add in your icing sugar. It’s a good idea to sift it first to get rid of any sneaky lumps. Most people will do this in their kitchens. I will do this in my garden due to the inevitable situation where I have an icing sugar explosion and I’ll be cleaning my kitchen for three weeks.

Then add any flavourings. Vanilla is always a good shout, but do me a favour and use extract instead of the tragedy that is vanilla essence. (I am a vanilla snob, shoot me.)

You can also colour your buttercream at this stage. A good tip is to use gel food colouring, as it’s easier to control how much you use and it wont change the consistency of your icing like liquid food colouring would. You want the consistency to be smooth and spreadable, but firm enough to hold it’s shape. If the icing is too stiff, add a couple of tablespoons of milk, if it’s too soft, add more icing sugar.

Assemble your cake

This is probably the trickiest part. Get one of those silver cake board things, or… y’know. A plate. Pop it on your turntable. And stick your first cake layer to the board with a bit of your icing.

Spread an even layer of the buttercream on the first layer. Then start stacking the cake, trying to place the layers as straight as you can.

Don’t worry if the icing comes out the sides, because the next stage is to smooth all of that down. Once you’ve done that, you’re ready to start frosting the entire thing.

Frost your cake

Another handy tool… the bench scraper. I like the cheap plastic ones best. They allow you to get really straight sides on your cake and will make this job a whoooole lot easier, promise.

Use a small pallet knife a spread a thin layer of frosting over the whole cake. Then, get your bench scraper and press it at a right angle to the cake. Without moving the scarper, spin the turntable and smooth out all the icing.

This first layer of frosting is called the crumb coat. Once you’ve done the crumb coat, you need to put the cake in the fridge for around 20 minutes to lock in all of the cake crumbs so that your next layer of icing will be nice and smooth.

Whilst you’re waiting for the cake to chill in the fridge, try and fight your weak British genetics and deal with the stupidly hot weather. Possibly grumble about it a lot. We’re good at that.

When the cake has chilled, you’re gonna do the exact same thing as before. And if any streaks of cake peek out from beneath the frosting, you’re gonna say fuck it and pass it off as “rustic”.

And that’s your basic layer cake! Decorate it how you like - a really easy way to make a cake look pretty is to take a ball of fondant, stick some flowers in it, and place it on top of the cake. You can see an actual professional explain this way better here. I also used a bit of edible gold leaf I had from a more adventurous project and placed it randomly down the front, which made it look super fancy with no effort required.

I hope this has been fairly easy to follow, I promise it isn’t as complicated or long-winded as I’ve managed to make it sound. So go make a cake for your grandma, because she probably deserves one. Grandma’s are great.

Happy baking! x

Recipe: Earl Grey Cake w/Chocolate Lavender Buttercream

Because what’s better than sipping Earl Grey tea in your jammies while toppling regimes? Eating tea flavored cake for breakfast with your cuppa while toppling regimes. 

The recipes I’ve posted so far are familiar enough, but this one was new for me. I’ll include my reactions at the end. Image heavy as usual. (I’m sorry.) 

Tagging for @alexandre00q re:Slack chat (I hope that’s right – I was a little turnt in the kitchen last night)

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jungkook scenario | make me blush

You made these cupcakes for me? >> Jungkook
requested by anon
drabble // fluff // 700 words


“You made these cupcakes for me?”

Jungkook nods, blinking angelic eyes over a box of freshly baked cakes. “Yep, I worked hard on them too. Do you know how much muscle power it takes to whip buttercream?”

There’s no way you’re buying his words. The biceps, as well hidden as they may be under a flannel shirt, would have no problem with mixing. Besides, when does Jungkook ever do anything nice for you? You know what date it is today, and you know better than to trust the boy whose past crimes include drawing on your face while you sleep, leaving fake spiders in your shoes, and texting you song lyrics at three in the morning. So, who can blame you when you ask: “Did you swap the sugar for chili powder, or something?”

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I’ve spent the day marathoning How Clean Is Your House and thought to make a note of these lovely cleaning tips:

  • Baking soda and warm water gets nicotine stains off ceilings.
  • A citric acid soak cleans a scummy kettle without making your tea taste funny.
  • Tea tree oil and water gets mold off windows.
  • Vacuuming your mattress once a week prevents dust mites (good for asthmatics.)
  • Plain white vinegar and a bit of hand soap mixed together in a spray bottle cleans mirrors without leaving streaks (also don’t use rags, use scrunched up newspaper.)
  • Lukewarm water and 1-tsp cornflower cleans the filthiest windows.
  • To clear a room of flies: put cider vinegar (or any kind of sweet vinegar, malt works too) and a few drops of detergent into a jam jar, tightly cling film the top, and puncture it with a few holes. The flies will get into the jar and drown in the vinegar.
  • To clean particularly awful toilets: add 1-part lemon juice to Borax, coat and scrub around the bowl, leave for 10 mins, scrub away with moist sandpaper (not pleasant but you get a shiny toilet.)
  • Clean a dirty lampshade with warm water and half a cap of fabric softener.
  • Cut a grapefruit in half, cover the halves in salt, and use them to scrub grime off bathtubs. Finish off with a nylon scourer (don’t use the metal ones: they’ll scratch/tear your bath.)
  • Sugar soap can be used to clean walls before painting. A weak solution of sugar soap (half the recommended amount; dilute with water) can also be used to clean ceramic tiles.
  • Pour liver salts/baking soda down the sink, followed by white vinegar, to clear away grease and unblock the drain. Plunge afterwards until the sink empties. (Add boiled water after the white vinegar for more aggressive cleaning.)
  • Beat old clothes to get rid of dust/moths.
  • Add hot water to biological washing powder until it’s a thick paste, and spread over the top of a filthy stove. Keep a hairdryer on it so that it stays hot (it stops working if it cools down), and scrub clean.
  • Olive oil and lemon juice cleans dirty/dusty wooden surfaces.
  • For fresh smelling rooms, tear open four peppermint tea bags, add five dessert spoons of baking powder, grated lemon peel, and six drops of bergamot oil. Place a generous amount in the centre of a piece of muslin cloth, tie up, and place on a windowsill/hang somewhere. (Can also be put in smelly fridges.)
Making Vegan Focaccia the Witchy Way

So, today my boo and I decided to make some bread, specifically focaccia. It was his first time making it and I’d only seen my momma do it before so it could have gone really badly, however I think it was a pretty good success.

Firstly we found a basic recipe on the interwebs and worked out what ingredients we needed:

  • 300ml/½ pint tepid water
  • 1½ tsp dried yeast or 2 heaped tsp fresh yeast
  • 500g/1lb 2oz ‘00’ flour or strong white bread flour, plus extra for dusting
  • 1½ tsp salt
  • 3 tbsp olive oil, plus extra for greasing
  • 150 ml extra virgin olive oil for topping
  • medium coarse sea salt
  • 2 sprigs rosemary, torn into small pieces

Along with this we also decided to add three cloves of garlic because garlic is good. Plus one of my flat mates may be a vampire and I don’t want him eating my food.

SO! After a wee trip to our local ASDA we finally had everything (we needed flour and yeast because I was so unprepared.) We also maybe accidentally bought cookies. The first step was to prep the yeast.

1. Pour a little of the tepid water into a small bowl. Add the yeast and blend using your fingers. Leave the yeast for five minutes to soften and dissolve.

Ok so I messed up this step. I didn’t read the instructions properly and boo was busy sorting out banging choons on spotify so I ended up adding my yeast to the whole 300ml of water. However it didn’t seem to be too bad and it smelled super good so I just powered through.

2. Mix the flour and salt together in a large mixing bowl. You may like to transfer your mixture to a pastry board or other flat work surface at this stage and prepare the dough there, in traditional Tuscan style. Otherwise, mix the dough in the bowl.

Yeah I’m nowhere near fancy enough to have a pastry board so we did it ye olde English way. In a bowl.

3. Make a well in the centre of the flour and salt mixture. Pour the blended yeast and water into the well along with the olive oil. Mix thoroughly. Gradually add the rest of the tepid water until a sticky dough is formed.

This was really bloody sticky. Obviously I used my hands and even after vigorous washing they still smell like dough. MMMmmm.

4. Transfer the dough onto a floured surface. Gather any stray pieces. Knead the dough for about 10 minutes, adding a little extra flour if necessary, until smooth and elastic and the dough no longer sticks to your hand. To see if it is ready, you can carry out the stretch test: pull off a piece of dough, it should be elastic enough not to break quickly when stretched out.

5. Next accumulate any stray ends and rough sections by 'chafing’ your ball of dough. Hold it and curve your hands around it, use your palms to pull at its sides gently while you slowly rotate it, letting your little fingers meet underneath. Do this for five minutes. You should be left with a neat, smooth ball.

6. Oil a bowl and place the dough inside and cover with either oiled cling film or a damp tea towel. Leave in a warm place to rise until doubled in size - about 1½ hours depending on the room temperature.

This was the point in the process where I remembered to take pictures. Also I messed up my elbow kneading the dough so boo took over. 

Before Proofing

After Proofing

That rose so much oh my word it was huge and the house smelled soooo good.

7. Use your fist to knock it back, then knead it again for a further two minutes.

8. Leave to rest again, but only for 5-10 minutes

It was at this point where I decided to go off recipe a bit and make up my own nonsense. I’d seen in other recipes that people had made a garlic and rosemary oil infusion to put on the focaccia and it looked goof so I gave it a go. 

9. Add a few teaspoons of the remaining oil into a saucepan and then add 3 cloves crushed garlic. Once the garlic has browned, add the rest of the 150ml of oil, and then add three sprigs of rosemary. When it reaches its boiling point remove from heat immediately and save for step 11.

10. After proofing shape the dough by placing into a shallow baking tray, using your hands to spread it out to a depth of about 1.5cm/¾in, then allow to rise again, covered with a tea towel, until doubled in size - this will take about 30 minutes. Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6.

11. Strain the oil and save the rosemary and garlic pieces. Gently drizzle the oil onto the dough, don’t worry if it looks like there is too much, there isn’t. Then add the rosemary and garlic pieces and press into the dough with finger tips, creating dimples.

12. Sprinkle with sea salt/coarse salt and then bake for 25-35 minutes or until the top is crusty and cooked through to the base. Serve.

I’m not gonna lie, I forgot about the salt until about 15 minutes into cooking but I added it then and it turned out pretty well.

Voila! The finished focaccia! Made with love. I couldn’t have made it without @dommadude so thank you <3

★ Peace out witches!!! ★

Barnett doesn’t rule out revisiting the “Orphan Black” world, perhaps via a spinoff, and the producers say they’ve kicked around movie ideas for the franchise. But for now, BBC America is set to say farewell. “There aren’t many networks that can really say a show defined them for a period inside of pop culture,” Barnett says.  (X)

5

Kiki’s Pancakes, from Kiki’s Delivery Service by Studio Ghibli!

Yes, this is an updated recipe based on my Drop Scones. But once you’ve tasted the airy, fluffy, tender moistness of these pancakes, you won’t even think about how derivative this recipe is!

[If you like my writing, please check out my book Dear Wolf! Guaranteed to contain fantasy, mystery, one dog of reasonable size and quality, humorous misunderstandings, elderly detectives, and one cake!]

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1) She was always both drawn and repulsed by stories of shapeshifters, werewolves, possession, changeling children – she devoured anything about stolen or changed bodies. Probably because she always felt like such a stranger to her own.


2) She was the kind of woman everyone always mistook for someone else. She was always told she reminded a person of their sister, or cousin, or old girlfriend. Where her mysterious doubles were initially sources of great fascination to her, more often than not it left her with the quality of not being quite real. As if she were a piece of Disney CGI that left her feeling less like the main character of her story, and more like the generic copy paste born of the loves and lives of somebody else.


3) She was always both drawn and repulsed to stories about other worlds, separated from their own only by some thin veil like cling film drawn over leftovers. Alice through the looking glass, the muggle world bordering on the edges of a more magical one – the constant feeling that if she took a wrong turn, could capture some elusive feeling, that she would stumble upon this belonging place. And the older she got, the more privately convinced she was that it would have to happen soon, or risk forever slipping from her grasp. Maybe that was what people meant when they flung themselves to far off places and foreign skins in the hopes of ‘finding themselves’.