climbing goat

Maps can be confusing - but don’t worry, Kerrin is probably just enjoying the climb - even if their goal isn’t reached anytime soon. ;)

A super fun commission I got from @tokicha, who did an amazing job! :D It also features @goattrain‘s Al, who is the navigator here! He’s… Probably holding the map upside down.

Thanks again to @tokicha for this super fun picture. Awesome work! :D

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Noo… Bani stop playing video games that make you cry… (。┰∀┰。)
I won’t let go that goat child… neeeever (T///T) *sob sob*

instagram

this is ridiculous. I can’t do yoga and I don’t have a baby goat.

Pittsburgh Gothic
  • You’re waiting for the 61D. A 61A goes past. A 61A goes past. A 61A goes past. A 61A goes past. 
  • The closer you get to the Squirrel Hill tunnel, the slower everything moves. Cars. People. Particles. It’s cold. Oh god, you’re so cold. 
  • It was raining this morning, now it’s sunny outside. You check the thermometer, and it reads sixty. Better salt your sidewalk, gonna snow tonight.
  • You dropped a rock in that pothole on Brookline, and waited to hear it hit the bottom. You’re still waiting.
  • The sidewalk is getting steeper and steeper. Now there’s stairs. You climb and climb and climb. Look, a mountain goat. 
  • Your GPS tells you to take a sharp right to stay on Forbes. Your GPS tells you to take a slight left to stay on Forbes. Your GPS tells you to hit the man in the suit to stay on Forbes. Hit the man. Hit him. 
  • No one goes to Carlow University.
  • Bleeding? Buildings don’t bleed, don’t be silly. That’s just the steel rusting.
  • An orange sign just ahead of you reads “End Road Work.” You laugh, and see another sign. “Please. Please, I have children. End it.”
  • They built a bridge under the bridge to keep the bridge from falling on the other bridge under that bridge. The trolls are confused. Where can they live?
  • Someone said that if you fall in the Mon, when you climb out, your skin will peel off. Ridiculous. No one escapes the Mon. 
  • You’re trying to get home, but every single street is a one way that takes your further and further away. Where is home? What is home? 
  • They say the steel mills poisoned the air and killed the sky. Is that why it weeps? Whenever thunder roars, you swear you can hear a sob. 
  • A man is stabbed with a bottle outside the bar, and ichor the color of tar drips from between his fingers, flecked with gleaming yellow. He bleeds black and gold. The gutters overflow with black and gold. Steelers going to the superbowl.
  • You woke up and found U P M C etched into your wrist. You went to UPMC physician, and he sent you to UPMC Shadyside. They checked you out and said it’s nothing serious. Good thing you have UPMC healthcare, could have been pricey otherwise. 
  • The guy at Phipps laughs when you ask him what they use for fertilizer and shows you big bins of mulch in the back. Pitt students keep disappearing. The bins are never empty for long. 
  • The treasure map reads “Turn left at the big church, then go straight till you see a PNC.” Thirty souls set out to find it, each took a different path. None returned. 
typical tumblr user walking through the rockies:
  • fuck, those clouds are #aesthetic
  • snow? in june? EXTRA
  • this mountain is next to another mountain. i ship it.
  • eff yeah pine trees
  • the insignificance of myself in reference to the greatness of these mountains really puts life into perspective–i’m so woke lol
  • some goats??? climb on mountains??? to cope???
  • mine “shafts” are actually mussies (mine pussies)
  • i’ll have uhhhhh, 1 super volcano
    • sry, yellowstone machine broke
      • EEEE, fix that geologic formation
  • wot in elevation???
Stand By Me

Originally posted by iamjaynaemarie

This one shot was requested by @deepestfirefun

Pairing : Thorin x reader

Request: Reader (human, from our world originally) lies bottom of the frozen waterfall after taking Azog with her and saving Thorin by doing so. Thorin is rushing towards her desperate and crying, angry at her actions, not happy at all that she was so willing to sacrifice her own life for him. She tells him, that it was always her given duty to save them / keep them safe, and now that the line of Durin isn’t broken, her task is done and she can finally rest in peace. Thorin refuses to face the fact that she is dying, so she says to him smiling :“my body is broken, you have to let me go…” Thorin tells her that he loves her, always has, always will, she is his one and he is hers. She goes quiet, closing her eyes and Thorin totally breaks down and is screaming at the sky. By some miracle, she doesn’t die, she wakes up in erebor, Balin tells her that she been sleeping several weeks and everyone has been worried that she doesn’t make it because her severe injuries. Thorin ask her permission to court her after she is recovered enough to be able to walk little. Actual braiding ritual, while Thorin explains to her what braiding means in dwarven culture. Lots and lots of fluff

 

You laid on your back, watching the beautiful sky as you shifted in and out of consciousness.

A while ago, you were climbing Ravenhill with your goat ready to help your king, Thorin, defeat once and for all the Pale Orc.

But the funny thing was that you were not even from Middle Earth. Falling down a hole that was behind your grandma’s house had not been a plan a year ago, and when you found yourself in the Shire you were, to say the least, horrified.

Where were you? Why were you here?

Thanks to the help of Gandalf the Grey, you had answers to your questions. Your ancestors were humans that had sworn loyalty and protection to the line of Durin.

At first, you didn’t want to believe it. You? A soldier?

But with training by the Company, you had grown to be one of the best soldiers of your family, and you already had saved the Company more than one time: the goblins, the first encounter with Azog or the attack in Laketown.

But today it was your last act of bravery.

When you saw Thorin fighting the Pale Orc at the top of Ravenhill, you knew you had to do something about it, because you were sure he wasn’t going to tell the tale if he went on like this.

For once in a while, you had gussed right, and as you watched Thorin following Azog who was supposedly “drowning”, his enemy plunged his sword into Thorin’s foot, making him send an angsty yell.

That was the moment you were waiting for. Readying your sword ahead of you, you pushed Azog off and pierced him with your sword, sending him down the abyss. What you didn’t count with is that he would pull your arm with him, making you fall too. As your body made contact with the floor, you felt your whole body crumble into little pieces a pond of blood surrounded you. You hissed and looked at Azog, who didn’t move a muscle. 

And here you were, happy that the war had ended, happy that the Durin’s line wasn’t broken, and happy that the man you loved was not dead.

“(Y/N)!“Thorin’s voice brought you out of your trance"Why did you have to do this? Look at yourself…You…You"He was stopped by his tears “Don’t worry about me, the important thing is that you are alright"You smiled but coughed blood, frustrating him even more “I can’t believe you would be willing to sacrifice your life for my nephews…For me” “That’s what I swore loyalty to, protecting Durin’s line, protecting my king, at any costs, even my life”

He punched the ice beside him, angry at himself, for not being able to defend his own life, angry at you, for sacrificing yourself, and now for that he would lose you, his One.

At first, he was wary about you being in the Company, but eventually fell in love with your cheerfulness, how you could cheer up the Company with your stories and how unafraid you were to battle. 

“For Durin’s sake (Y/N)! You are making this so complicated!Why must you leave my side, why?By now, Thorin’s tears had soaked your tunic.

You lifted your hand to caress Thorin’s cheek, wiping away his tears “I don’t want you to leave my side (Y/N), you don’t know how valuable you are to me” His gaze softened, and what you saw in his blue eyes was a mixture of pain, anger and love.When you looked at his eyes you wanted to go back in time, change desicions, mend your mistakes… 

But it was too late now “Thorin, my body is broken, just…Let me go” Your face paled and your eyes started to close “I’m sorry Thorin, but my time in Middle Earth has come to an end…At least I can say my duty was completed…Thorin…I…”

Then, everything went black.

As your body grew limp and your eyes closed, Thorin felt as if someone had crushed his heart in a million pieces “Don’t…(Y/N), don’t you dare leave my side” His sobs could be heard in Ravenhill, powerful cries of despair and a broken heart “Please (Y/N),come back” He clutched your body as if you were his everything, which you were" And if the Valar has already claimed her, bring her back to my arms, where she truly belongs “He kissed your forehead and liftes you in his arms, as he ran as fast as he could to Erebor.

“Oin! Oin!“Thorin ran the vast corridors of Erebor trying to find the Company’s doctor “What’s the matter, lad?” Balin appeared from behind the infirmary’s doors. As he looked at his friend and king with his eyes puffy from crying and your limp body on his arms, he understood exactly what happened” We must do something! We must save her!“ Balin soothed the king, disappearing a moment “Oin is tending your nephew’s wounds, he’ll be here in a second, come in”.

Thorin entered the infirmary trying to locate the doctor. When Oin saw you both he gasped, and patted a bed for you to be placed in it “She’s really injured” Thorin’s heart clenched at that "Can you save her?“ “I’ll do my best” “Get yourself some rest Thorin” Balin accompanied Thorin to his room, all while trying to calm him down “She’s strong, she’ll get over it” “I don’t know Balin…But I cannot let my One die”.


You fluttered open your eyes, but the sun rays made them close again ‘Where am I?’ ‘Am I dead?’ ‘If this is the Valar, it’s really similar to Erebor…’

“You are awake!” Bofur’s cheerful voice boomed through your ears “Geez Bofur, could you speak…Wait, I’m not dead!” You pinched yourself in the arm, thinking it was a dream “Where am I?” You asked. It was a part of Erebor yoy had never seen “You are in Erebor’s infirmary, Oin took care of your wounds, which were pretty bad in fact” He chuckled.

You smiled back, but gasped as you remembered “Thorin! I must talk to him!” You tried to hop off the bed, only to be stopped by Bofur “Lass, you mustn’t do anything that could reopen your wounds” “Then, could you go for him?” He nodded and disappeared behind the enormous wooden doors.

A couple minutes later, Thorin appeared panting “(Y/N)…You…Are alright”You smiled sweetly.

Thorin approached and engulfed you in a big hug “I thought you were gone…” You clung to him as little tears bloomed from your eyes “I couldn’t leave the one I love alone” At that, Thorin froze “Oh no…I messed up right? Mahal, I’m just stupid” You face palmed yourself and blushed madly. “Just..Forget I…"Your faces aere inches apart “said…"He brushed his lips with yours “that” Your lips finaly connected with eachother.

Sparks flied inside you, it was like your lips were made for eachother.

As you parted to take air, Thorin took out from his pocket a small wooden box. As he opened it, two beautiful silver beads with gems incrusted shone inside it. "What’s this” “So…You don’t know what these are?” He chuckled “I’m asking to court you (Y/N)"He smiled swwetly "See, when a dwarf asks for courting and she accepts it, they braid eachother’s hair and clasp it with identical beads, like a reminder” You blushed at that “I accept being courted by you, My King” “Please (Y/N), call me Thorin”. You turned around as he started to braid your hair. After he secured it with the courting bead, you did the same to him “Thank you (Y/N)” “For what?” “For coming back to me”.

A/N: I’m sorry if it’s bad! Hope you like it <3

Thor, the Cross-Dresser

One morning, Thor awoke to find his hammer, Mjolnir (“Lightning”), missing. This was no small matter; without the thunder god’s best weapon, Asgard was left open to the attacks of the giants. In a rage, he searched everywhere for his most prized possession, but it was gone.

The goddess Freya owned falcon feathers, with which one could change one’s shape into that of a falcon. She lent these to Thor and Loki so that the hammer could be found. Loki, who knew how to shift his shape, donned the feathers and flew off in search of the treasure. He quickly surmised that it had probably been stolen by the giants, so he rode the winds to their homeland, Jotunheim.

Upon his arrival, he changed back into his god-form and approached the chief of the giants, Thrym (“Noisy”). When questioned about the hammer, Thrym answered that he had indeed taken it and buried it eight miles below the ground. And, added the lonely, ugly giant, he had no intention of returning it until the goddess Freya was made to be his bride.

Loki flew back to Asgard and told this news to his fellow gods, who were alarmed and furious – especially Freya. As they sat in counsel, Heimdall put forth the following solution: that Thor go to Jotunheim disguised as Freya, and thereby win back his hammer and take vengeance on its thieves. Thor protested, saying that this was a dishonorable and unmanly thing to do, and that all of Asgard would mock him for it for the rest of his days. Loki pointed out, however, that if he didn’t consent to Heimdall’s plan, Asgard would be ruled by the giants, so Thor agreed.

No detail was spared in assembling of Thor’s bridal dress. After the humiliated god had donned the costume, Loki, whose specialty was tricks, offered to go with him as his servant.

The pair climbed into Thor’s goat-drawn chariot and made their way to Jotunheim. When they arrived, they were welcomed by Thrym, who boasted that the gods had at last brought him the prize he was due.

At dinner, Thor and Loki found themselves in trouble. Thor single-handedly ate an entire ox, eight salmon, and all of the food that had been prepared for the women – as well as many barrels of mead. This made Thrym suspicious, and he declared that he had never in his whole life seen a woman with such an appetite. The trickster Loki quickly devised a response: “The fair goddess has been so lovesick for you,” he claimed, “that she hasn’t been able to eat for a week.” Thrym accepted this answer, and was overcome by a desire to kiss his bride. When he peeled back the veil, Thor’s eyes glared at him so intently that they seemed to burn holes right through him. He exclaimed, “Never have I seen a maiden with such frightfully piercing eyes!” Loki, the master of deceit, explained to the giant that while Freya had been unable to eat, she had also been unable to sleep, so fierce was her longing for him.

The ceremony soon followed. As was customary, Thrym called for the hammer to hallow their union. When Mjolnir was laid in Thor’s lap, he grabbed its handle and slew first Thrym, then all of the guests before contentedly returning to Asgard and changing back into his preferred clothes.

[Part 7/10]

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9