climb out of the pit

How to Survive when Bad Things Happen

1. Try to switch your emotions to neutral so you can think more clearly, and do what’s best for you.

2. Ask “how” not “why”. Just for the moment, keep your focus on the challenge, and the steps you need to take to climb out of the pit. Often, by doing one small thing can start to turn things round.

3. Look for the good things, and the lessons you can learn. It will help you be resourceful, and will change your attitude.

4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Other people understand what it’s like to get bad news. They know it “knocks you sideways”, and it saps your energy.

5. Try and see it as a temporary experience. Life is always changing, and bad things pass in time.

6. Don’t take it personally. We all experience crises, disappointments and tough times. It just means that you’re human – you’re not being singled out!

Twisted in Love (DT) Part 1

Summary: Y/N is an up and coming YouTuber. Grayson falls in love with her, and wants her to be his. Little did he know that his twin brother Ethan had the same idea. Who will win her heart? Who’s heart will get broken? 

Word Count: 2,946

Warnings: None.

A/N: Hey guys! So @sniperdolan & I are honestly pretty excited about this collab! We started talking about it, & ideas just started rolling in! We hope you guys enjoy it, and feel free to give us feedback! Let us know what you guys think! Love you!! 

** tweets are in italic ** 


Grayson’s POV

Ethan and I were chilling at the warehouse, we finally got a little down time from filming all our videos for the week. I was laying in the foam pit, watching YouTube videos on my phone, while Ethan was sitting on the couch, eating popcorn, and checking his Twitter.  

“Yo Gray! Do you know who Y/N Y/L/N is” Ethan asked, with a mouth full of popcorn.

“Uh, no. Why? Who’s that?” I asked, as I was climbing out of the foam pit.

“I don’t know. But the fans keep tagging us in video, and she’s all over my timeline.” he said, scrolling away on his phone.

“I think she’s a YouTuber or something.” he says shoving some more popcorn into his mouth.

I closed out of the video I was watching on YouTube, and typed her name in the search bar. Ethan’s right, she is a YouTuber. She had 187,000 subscribers, and from scrolling through her channel it looks like she does make up tutorials, DIYS, challenge videos, she even vlogs. 

“Yo E, I found her channel.” I said, sitting down next to him on the couch.  

I clicked on her most recent video which was posted earlier today. It was a Q&A.

“Dude, she’s hot!” Ethan said, making me roll my eyes at him. He wasn’t wrong though. She was beautiful. Her brown hair complimented her soft brown eyes, and her smile was so captivating. She was 18, so she was our age.  

* * * *

“Who is your favorite YouTuber at the moment?” Y/N read the question, than looked back at the camera.

“Well you guys know I’m obsessed with like almost every beauty channel, but I think my overall favorite channel would be The Dolan Twins.” she said, and I paused the video to look at Ethan.

“Who are those guys?” 

“They sound like a couple of losers!” Ethan, and I said breaking out into a fit of laughter. I unpaused the video not expecting to hear what I heard next.

“Their pretty hilarious! And Grayson Dolan kind of sorta happens to be my “celebrity” crush.” she said hiding her face in her hands. 

Wait what? Did she just say I was her celebrity crush? Even though I don’t consider myself a celebrity. I didn’t realize how hard I was smiling until Ethan said something.

“You’re smiling way to hard, it’s kind of creepy.” he said, making a disgusted face.

“Shut up. You’re just mad that I’m the better twin.” I said, flipping him over the back of the couch, and running away before he could do anything to me.

I was on my phone checking my Twitter, and following some fans, when I got a notification that Ethan had mentioned me in a tweet.  

* * * *

@EthanDolan: May or may not have just stalked @Y/T/N YouTube channel with @GraysonDolan. We watched literally every single video. He couldn’t stop drooling.

I retweeted his tweet, and started to type up my own.  

@GraysonDolan: @EthanDolan is just mad he’s not your “celebrity” crush. Btw, I don’t think I’m a “celebrity” but I’m flattered! Also @Y/T/N channel is dope af! Go subscribe!  

* * * *

Reader’s POV

I was in my room sitting on my computer chair, editing one of my videos when my phone notifications kept going off like crazy. I’m pretty sure my phone was going to explode at any moment. I checked my phone, and saw that I had over 100 Twitter notifications.  

“What the hell?” I said to myself, opening up my Twitter app.

I noticed that I had gained a lot of new followers, and people were also posting and retweeting my new video. I smiled at the thought of how sweet they are. It’s still crazy to think that people actually like my videos. I mean yeah there were a few mean comments, and haters her and there, but the good ones always out weigh the bad! I replied to, and retweeted a few people, and even followed some of them back. I kept scrolling through my mentions to see all the sweet things people were saying. Then something caught my eye, and I’m pretty sure I had a heart attack.

* * * *

@EthanDolan follows you.

@GraysonDolan follows you.

@EthanDolan: May or may not have just stalked @Y/T/N YouTube channel with @GraysonDolan. We watched literally every single video. He couldn’t stop drooling.

@GraysonDolan: @EthanDolan is just mad he’s not your “celebrity” crush. Btw, I don’t think I’m a “celebrity” but I’m flattered! Also @Y/T/N channel is dope af! Go subscribe!

@GraysonDolan liked 2 of your tweets.

@GraysonDolan retweeted you.  

@EthanDolan liked 1 of your tweets.

@EthanDolan retweeted you.

@EthanDolan retweeted you.

* * * *

“Oh My God!” I shouted out loud. The Dolan Twins followed me on Twitter, and they watched my video. What the actual fuck is happening? Before I could even process anything, my phone vibrated in my hand. I had just recieved a message from Twitter. Not checking to see who it was from, I opened the app back, and went straight to my messages. 

Grayson Dolan sent a message 

Grayson Dolan: Hey cutie. 

I starred at my phone confused, reading the same message over and over again. 

Grayson Fucking Dolan just dmed me. This can’t actually be happening. I was having the biggest fangirl moment ever. I pinched myself just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, and I wasn’t. This is actually happening. Why is this happening? How did they even find my YouTube channel? I was asking myself all kinds of question, when it suddenly hit me. He watched my video. I told the whole world that Grayson Dolan was my celebrity crush, and he saw it. 

“Good job Y/N!” I said to myself, still staring at my phone screen. I wanted to reply but for some reason I had no clue what to say. Maybe I shouldn’t respond, maybe I should wait till tomorrow or something. I was making a bigger deal of the situation than it was. I mean not everyday a YouTuber who also happens to be your celebrity crush dms you. I finally got myself together, and replied. 

Y/N Y/L/N: Hey. 

I closed out of Twitter, and threw my phone on my bed, and got back to the computer to finish editing. As soon as I sat down, I heard a ding, letting me know that it was a Twitter message. Assuming that it could’ve been Grayson, I got up from my chair pretty quickly. I grabbed my phone, and sat back down in my chair. I opened the app back up, but instead of it being a message from Grayson, it was from Ethan. 

Ethan Dolan sent a message. 

Ethan Dolan: What’s up!

I was in complete shock. I couldn’t believe any of this was happening. I began to type up a quick reply, not thinking to much about it this time. 

Y/N Y/L/N: Hey, what’s up! 

* * * *

It has been about 2 weeks since the boys followed, and messaged me on Twitter. The conversations have been none stop between us. We’ve even exchange numbers, and we all started a streak on Snapchat. It was pretty obvious that Grayson and I liked each other. We were always flirting. Whether it was using emojis when we tweeted each other, or sending cute random texts. Ethan was pretty great too. Whenever I couldn’t fall asleep, he’d stay on Facetime with me until I did. He’s pretty much become like my best friend. It just seemed a little odd when he told me to not bring up the fact that he messaged me on Twitter to Grayson. I mean Grayson obviously knew we have each other’s number and we talk, so why can’t he know if Ethan dmed me. I mean not like that’s something I would randomly bring up, but it was just a little weird to me.

 A few days ago, Grayson asked me if I wanted to film a collab video with them. I was hesitant at first, because I didn’t want people to think that I was using them to become “big” on YouTube. After a lot of convincing from Grayson & Ethan, I gave in. I was currently at the store getting some things for the video. We were filming a Cooking With The Dolan Twins Part 2 featuring myself for their channel. The thought of them cooking in my house scares me. Something is gonna end up burning, I just know it. I made sure to get everything that I needed, before heading back to my apartment to get ready. 

I finished setting up the cameras, and my phone went off signaling me that it was a text message. It was from Ethan.

Ethan: Hey, so I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight? After we film the video.  

Ethan: It doesn’t have to be like a date if you don’t want it to be.  

Ethan: It can just be the 2 of us casually going to get pizza or something.

Y/N: I mean who could turn down some pizza? What time?

Ethan: The video won’t take that long to film. So how about 9:00?

Y/N: Sounds good!

Ethan: Oh! We’re here btw!

Putting my phone down on the counter, I went to go out the front door. I opened the door, to see Grayson with his hands formed into a fist, getting ready to knock on the door.  

“How’d you know we were here?” he asked, giving me a hug before stepping inside.

“Et-” I was trying to respond, but Ethan cut me off.

“Everything’s already setup?” he said walking past me, and into the kitchen.

“Yup, we’re good to go!” I said shrugging whatever just happened off, handing the guys aporns.

* * * *

“Hey guys, we’re back!” the boys yelled in unison at the camera. I was standing on the side waiting for them to introduce me into the video.

We had already started filming, Ethan was going over the instructions for the cake. Grayson kept sprinkling flour at me, every few seconds like a child. I would try not to laugh so that Ethan can get through with the instructions but I couldn’t help it. I let out a small laugh, as Grayson tried to sprinkle the flour on me pretending he was Salt Bae. Causing Ethan to turn around giving us an annoyed look.

“Guys! C'mon!” he said before turning back at the camera.

Grayson mocked him like a 2 year old child when he turned around so he couldn’t see. Grayson leaded his head on my shoulder, and I couldn’t help but giggle at how adorable he was. Next thing I know, with a quickness Grayson had wiped cake frosting on my entire face with his hand. Reacting face I grabbed the bag of flour and threw it on him.

Seriously guys stop!“ Ethan said, turning around only to get flour thrown on him too.

* * * *

We finished filming the video, and I was completely from head to toe in flour, eggs, pizza sauce, everything! The three of us looked like an actual human pizza. We couldn’t stop laughing at how ridiculous we each looked.

Grayson and I were flirting the whole time, and you can tell Ethan was getting a little annoyed at how childish we were being.

The guys helped me clean up the kitchen, and put away all the filming equipment before they left. Remembering that I was going to get some pizza with Ethan tonight, I needed to go take a shower and wash all this stuff off. Hopefully he won’t be in such an annoyed mood later when we meet up.

* * * *

Grayson’s POV

“Yo E, where are you going?” I asked Ethan. He was standing in front of this bathroom mirror getting dressed.

“I’m just gonna go get some food.” he responded back from the bathroom.

“I wanna go!” I said, laying down on the sofa in the living room, scrolling through my Instagram. I seen that Y/N had just posted a picture so I liked it. I wonder where she was going. She was wearing ripped black skinny jeans, with 1975 band tee that was cut into a crop top. Her hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, showing off all the perfect features of her face.

“There’s no point in you going. I’m brining back food.” Ethan said walking into the living room.

He was acting a little weird, but I just shooked it off not thinking to much or anything by it. I walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. I heard a text notification go off, from the counter next to me. I took a quick glance at the screen, and saw Y/N name on across the lock screen. Why is Y/N texting Ethan I thought to myself. I mean I know I gave them each other’s number when we were leaving her house, but Y/N hasn’t texted me since we left,but she’s texting Ethan.

Ethan was in the bathroom doing his hair, so he wasn’t going to come out for a while. I know it’s kind of messed up what I’m doing, but something just wasn’t sitting right with me so I wanted to find out. It wasn’t hard to unlocked his phone, since we both knew each other’s passcode. I went to his messages, and clicked on Y/N name.

Y/N: Are you ready yet?

Ready? Ready for what? Where are they going? Confused about what Y/N was talking about, I scrolled up a little more. I kept scrolling, and saw that Ethan had asked Y/N to go out tonight. I guess that’s why he was getting ready. But wait he texted her this around 12 this afternoon, but I didn’t give Ethan Y/N’s number until a few hours ago. I kept scrolling through the messages between them, and there were so many. Then I realized they’ve been texting each other for 2 weeks. I closed out of his text messages, opened up his Twitter, and went to his dms. I found Y/N’s name, and opened up the dms between them. He dmed her the same day I did. But why? If he knew she had a crush on me, and I even told him I was going to try to talk to her, why would he still even do that. And then lie this whole time, as if he never talked to her. I mean it’s clear that he likes her, now it makes sense why he got so annoyed and weird earlier. But does she like him? I mean she never acted like she did, she never really flirted with him or anything. She’s always saying how Ethan is like her best friend. I heard the bathroom door close, the closed out of Twitter, locked his phone, and put it back on the counter before hopping back onto the sofa pretending like I was laying there watching tv the whole time.

“I’ll be back bro.” Ethan said, grabbing his phone off the counter, and heading out the door.

As much as I wanted to saying something about it, I wasn’t going to. I figured I’d just act completely clueless about the situation, and see how long he can keep lying to me about this. I still can’t believe it, this is probably the first time ever that Ethan has lied to me. 

I sat on the sofa on Snapchat, when I saw that Y/N posted something on her story. She was standing in front of a fountain, doing the classic peace sign and duck face pose. I’m guessing Ethan took this picture for her, since they were together right now. Not sure why but the thought of them together kind of bugged me. I mean Ethan was always the one with the girlfriend, while I was the one single. So for once you’d think he’d just let me have the girl, and not try to like the same girl I do! But then again, what if it’s not like that. What if their just best friends? I saw that Y/N added another snap to her story so I watched it. It was a picture of Ethan biting a slice of pizza with the caption ‘Good Pizza With Great People”. Looking at the picture I knew exactly where they were at. I decided to send Y/N a winky face emoji. I got off the sofa, and went to my room to change. I pulled my snapback on my head, and grabbed my keys on the hook, and headed out the apartment door. 

Overdue

This was requested ages ago by @irish-rose-24 and I’m so sorry it took so long to get to! It’s very bad and I’m very sorry 😐


73 I’m stuck! Help me!
97 Take off your shirt

Warnings: Cursing? Sarky Jug and Reader. Bad grammar probably



Jughead the absolute genius thought it would be a great idea to investigate down by Sweetwater River at 11pm on a Saturday night, to follow up on a new theory he had on the murder of Jason Blossom. Of course, you didn’t want him going down there that late on his own, so you tagged along.

“Jesus Jug, what are we even looking for? We’re out here at 11pm and it’s dark and you still haven’t told me your theory!” You said as you pulled your coat up further around your neck.

“Jason’s body was found about half a mile south down the river and he must have floated downwards so I’m looking for any clues on the left bank for a mile up, bullet holes in trees and the like.” Jughead explained, scanning a tree with his flashlight.

Betty and Jughead had been working on the Jason Blossom case for the Blue and Gold for about a month when you had joined into a conversation at lunch about it and from that moment had and been recruited to the paper and joined them in their sleuthing.

You and Jughead had been friends for quite a few years and for the majority of those years, you had been totally, hopelessly, completely in love with him. So when he had text to say he was headed to the forest at 10pm in the pitch dark; of course you were coming.

“Hey Poirot, what do you think this is?” You call to Jughead as you find an odd patch of ground. Inspecting it closer, you get on your hands and knees and poking it a bit. The leaves looked a weird texture so you leaned in closer and next thing you knew the ground beneath your hands and knees had slipped from under you and you were falling. Hitting the bottom of the hole you had fallen into with a thud, pain radiated through your body.

“Jug! C’mere!” No answer.

“Jughead!” Nothing.

“Forsythe Pendleton Jones III!” Using his full name always got his attention.

“Y/N? Where are you?” You heard him coming closer.

“I’m stuck! Help me! There’s a hole in the ground so watch where you’re going!” You said as the light from the flashlight and Jughead’s face came into view above you.

“Well what are you doing down there Y/N/N?” Jug smirked down at you.

“Oh just chilling, wanna come down?” You snarked “It’s one of Doiley’s fucking traps for hunting with the scouts. It’s not deep, but I can’t climb out.”

Jughead’s arm reaches into the pit to pull you out as you step on your tiptoes to catch his hand.

“It’s no good, I can’t reach you. Is there anything down there to step on to boost you up?” Jughead looks at you worriedly.

“Oh yeah! Look! There’s a stepladder, let me just get it!” You snap at him. Your feet are soaked from the rainwater at the bottom of the hole and there are spiders everywhere.

“Okay smartass. Calm down, we’ll get you out. We’ll figure something out, let’s face it, this isn’t the most difficult situation you and I have found ourselves it.” He laughs down at you.

Jug was looking around fro something to reach you with.

“Juggie! I have an idea. Take off your shirt.” Not realising how crazy you sounded you smiled up, pleased with your seemingly genius plan.

Jughead’s eyes popped out of his head as he stared down at you with his mouth hanging open.

“Excuse me?” He sounded completely incredulous and you hadn’t noticed the slight blush creeping up his cheeks.

“Not like Your flannel! The one around your waist! Take it off and lower it down and I’ll climb up.” His face softed slightly at this as he saw what you were getting at.

He unwrapped his flannel from around his waist and throws one sleeve down to you and you grab on. He pulled and you climed up the flannel and as you reached over the top over the hole you both fell back onto the soft leaves behind you.
You both lay there panting for a minute when Jughead started to laugh.

“Only us Y/N. This stuff could only happen to us. It’s always an adventure isn’t it?” He looked over and you and saw you smiling at the treetops and in that moment he thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world, mud and leaves in your hair and all. But, obviously, you couldn’t read minds. He wished he had the guts to say something.

“Of course it is Jug. It’s Jughead and Y/N, famous for their adventures and countless stories.” You laughed.

Silence fell over the two of you for a few minutes as you continued to lay there, (which, in reflection, was probably extremely dangerous, but when you were with each other you felt as safe as could be.)
Jughead stood up and peeked down into the hole.

“You fell deep Y/N. Did you hurt anything?” He turned his flashlight to you as you hid your face in your hands.

“Just my pride. Don’t worry, I’m okay.” You replied, smiling at his concerned face.
Jughead was kneeling down beside you checking your face for injuries.

“Good, dunno what I’d do without my Miss Marple.” He said with his hand still on your cheek.

You had had enough. This proximity was killing you. The overwhemling urge to kiss him set in and this time, you knew you had to take action.

“Jug-“

“Yeah?”

“Jug, since I’ve known you I’ve liked you and in the more recent years I’ve fallen in love with you and I totally understand if you don’t feel the same way and I really hope that by saying this I haven’t ruined our friendship but I just had to say something otherwise –“ Your rambling was prompty cut off by a pair of lips crashing into yours. You were frozen and couldn’t respond for a second but once your brain realised what was actually happening you kissed back. This kiss wasn’t long, but it was a kiss full of all the words that needed to be spoken and all the bottled up feelings.

Pulling away, you saw Jug smirking at you.

“That felt long overdue.” You laughed and replied

“Yeah. About 4 years overdue.”

“Y/N everything you said, I feel the same. I was just afraid to say anything because, well – if you didn’t feel the same and I’d be lost without you and I love you too.” Smiling, you kissed him again. This kiss was different, with you holding his face and him pulling you in by the hips, both wanting to feel as close as possible to the other.

“C’mon we better go. Pop’s?” Jug suggested.

You both started walking back towards the road when you felt a hand snake it’s way into yours. You smiled up at Jug and found he was already looking down at you.

“You know, this is gonna make a great story someday. ‘Hey Y/N and Jughead, tell us the story of your first kiss.’ Oh well, first I was doing some sleuthing and this idiot fell into a hole, then she asked me to strip off all my clothes, then she got all soppy and started rambling so I kissed her and told her I loved her.” Jughead explained as you hit his arm.

“Always have to be such a drama queen, don’t you Jones?” You sassed.

“May be a drama queen, but I’m your drama queen.” He said sliding his arm around your shoulders and kissing the top of you head.

“Cheeseball.” You giggled.

Looking on, you would have seen a young couple, making their way to their favourite spot, joking around, very much in love. It would have looked like an ideal moment.

It was. The first of many, many more to come.

anonymous asked:

hi! Can u give me some cdrama recommendations? Preferably historical and/or fantasy lol thanks

I love you, Anon! 

All of these should be easily found with English subs, but if you are having trouble, message me. As you will see, I am fond of a decent amount of romance, and am a fangirl for some actors more than others. Plus, they are all (IMO) good entry points. I put in a MV for each. 

Bu Bu Jing Xin/Startling By Each Step

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBCPzULxJTA

To watch if you like beautiful visuals, time travel, heroines that grow, tragedies, romance.

Not to watch if you don’t like Qing hairstyles, slow pace, heroine loving more than one man in the course of the drama. 

Eternal Love/Three Lives Three Worlds Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44vuM8qiiEE

To watch if you like beautiful visuals, a lot of sort-of reincarnation, all-consuming romance, high fantasy and mythology.

Not to watch if you don’t like really slow starts, a lot of CGI, heroines that can be immature. 

General and I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcUdlSLyvS4

To watch if you like beautiful visuals (notice a theme?), a romance novel in period cdrama form, very competent leads in an enemies to lovers storyline, angst.

Not to watch if you don’t like long dramas, lengthy OTP separations, unrealistic medical conditions (welcome to wuxia! :P)

Gong/Palace/Jade Palace Lock Heart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVFPVkHaweo

To watch if you like beautiful visuals (notice a theme?), time travel, comedy, romance with a hero obsessed with heroine, seeing Boys Over Flowers in period form.

Not to watch if you hate Qing hairstyles, some goofiness, heroine spending early chunk of drama in love with someone else, a little bit of cartoonishness.

Ice Fantasy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgQkBS36bAY

To watch if you like beautiful visuals (arguably most beautiful drama I’ve seen, design-wise), high fantasy, heroic quests, brotherly love, something that looks like a Tolkien AU, BAMF heroines, multiple romances, fairy tales.

Not to watch if you don’t like - major wigs and costumes, a certain simplicity that comes from fairy tale frame up, plot holes.  

Lan Ling Wang/Prince of Lan Ling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkAH8ALGZAI

To watch if you like romance novels in period form, killer dudes with long hair who are putty in hands of tiny heroines, married couples in love, evil harem intrigue, defying fate, masks and rose petals.

Not to watch if you don’t like stories that lack political complexity and look like shoujo manga come to life. 

Legend of Condor Heroes 2008 version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2fea109_qM

To watch if you like wuxia, cool OTPs, smart heroines, a tragic antihero, fights fights fights.

Not to watch if you don’t like magic, crazy medicine, secondary characters in some insane make up.

Novoland 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTGWFr2Fg84

To watch if you like something shorter than your usual cdrama, fantasy, romance, people with wings.

Not to watch if you don’t like a strong case of what looks like BDSM fixation on part of the writer, a bit of childishness, and an ending that is polarizing (fair warning - I am in the tiny minority who was OK with it.)

The Glamorous Imperial Concubine/Qing Shi Huang Fei

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXznlp7UhDg

To watch if you like female centric stories, messed up love stories, evil families, secondary guys who are unhealthy intense but magnetic, a lot of hurt/comfort, arc where heroine goes from disney princess to cynical BAMF.

Not to watch if you don’t like family intrigue, messed up male leads, crazy secondaries.

Return of  Condor Heroes 2006 version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZywct2fBmI

To watch if you like wuxia, truly jaw-dropping visuals, beautiful deadly people madly in forbidden love (sometimes the whole drama feels like a cinematic swoon), battles. My first cdrama that got me hooked. 

Not to watch if you don’t want to skip the first two-three eps (which are awful), are not OK with certain fairy tale logic.

Strange Hero Yi Zi Mei/Vigilantes in Masks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5il6Pg-INk

To watch if you like Robin Hood stories, fights, heroes who climb out of pit of self-loathing slowly, self-contained arcs.

Not to watch if you don’t like love stories that are secondary, mysteries.

The Four

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XULb014bc-k

To watch if you want a popcorn procedural about Ming constables who solve crimes and fall in love, some pretty fights, werewolves, awesome girl melting angsty cold jerk lead, multiple love stories.

Not to watch if you want some spectacular acting or deep plot.

The Myth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZQ1f3j6K6A

To watch if you are like me and this is your number 1 drama ever. OK, seriously, if you like time travel, moral dilemmas, best hero ever, battles, tragedy, amazing character arcs. SERIOUSLY THE WAY EVERYONE ELSE FEELS ABOUT NIRVANA IN FIRE, I FEEL ABOUT THE MYTH. 

Not to watch if you don’t want to be an ugly sobbing wreck. OK, and also if you want romance be number 1 (it’s in there and awesome but secondary) and also I skipped the modern storyline so no idea if it’s good but the period part of the drama is THE BEST THING EVER EVER EVER EVER.

The Young Warriors/Young Warriors of the Yang Clan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeRSXu1QE5c

To watch if you like battles, a super cool family of fighters with their own personalities and issues, many love stories.

Not to watch if you don’t like ugly hats, a little bit older dramas, and disgustingly thorough heart crushing.

Three Kingdoms (2010 version)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3RVpdYDpYA

To watch if you want a crazy smart political drama with complex characters, many battles, and political manipulation.

Not to watch if you don’t want a 90+ ep drama that spans a hundred years, has very few women and only one love story of note. 

Pls note I did not list any drama set in the 20th century as not sure if it qualified as historical under your standards. 

your problematic is fave

Something to keep in mind in social criticism of media:

On Tumblr, we talk a lot about how everything is problematic. That’s true, as far as it goes. And it’s a conversation that needs to happen.

But, it’s also problematic. Because sometimes that conversation happens in a way that suggests that the only real parts of a thing are the awful parts.

And it can end up sounding like this:

  • You know that thing you like?
  • The thing that you quote all the time?
  • The one you learned tremendously important things from?
  • The one you keep reading to learn new things?
  • The thing that got you through awful times?
  • The thing that’s getting you through hard times now?
  • You know, that awesome thing you see as part of who you are?
  • It’s oppressive, it’s killing people, and you’re a horrible person for not thinking that it’s worthless trash with no value

And that can progress into:

  • “It’s ok that you liked it before. We all have to unlearn things.”
  • “We all have internalized oppression. It’s ok that you didn’t know that the story you care about is worthless”
  • (with the implication that you’d better not see any positive now that you have been ~educated~ and told to hate it)

And that can progress into:

  • You know how we told you not to watch that thing you used to love?
  • And how we told you to watch the new thing instead?
  • The new thing we said good people have to like because it has such important representation?
  • That thing’s problematic too. You’re oppressive and bad for liking it.
  • You should like this new thing instead. Or else. (Even though the same thing will happen again.) 
  • On second thought, don’t like anything. Your fave is problematic. You should hate it. 

It’s really bad when this happens. Talking about the problems with stories shouldn’t turn into teaching people that they’re not allowed to like anything. 

And it’s important to remember that saying “if you like this story you’re human garbage”, will be heard by people who used that story to climb out as, “You aren’t good enough to have deserved to climb out. Go back in there until you can climb out using only pure and unproblematic stories.”

That is not something to say lightly.

How to turn the functions blue

Ni - Take away its direction.
Ni users require something to aim for; a goal to call their own, to strive for. Without that, they become listless and apathetic. Those dominant in this function may seek very temporary “goals” that satisfy their physical desires temporarily, but which they ultimately find hollow.

Ne - Overwhelm it.
Ne users like to have the complete picture before them prior to setting out to accomplish it, much the way one might consult the box while assembling a jigsaw puzzle. But grandiose dreams require several interlocking elements in order to be fulfilled. If the Ne user attempts to assemble all the pieces simultaneously, or finds that there are more pieces to the puzzle than initially thought, they can easily become overwhelmed, causing them to lose focus, stress out, and ultimately give up.

Si - Take away its GPS.
Si users rely heavily on past precedent to know how to proceed. They find comfort in established patterns, and they greatly value the lessons of history. New experiences, where they have nothing on which to fall back, are intimidating. But what depresses Si users is trying every tool in their box and finding that none of them work, when they used to work fine before. Without a place to step back and reevaluate their progress, Si users get frustrated to the point of giving up, retreating to the last “save point” they recognize and sitting there in perpetuity.

Se - Remove its ability to interact with its world.
Se users love physical activity and anything that engages two or more senses. Se-doms in particular are usually found in performing arts, sports, manual labor, or other jobs that require a lot of hands-on activity. For Se users, the quickest route to the blues is to remove one of their senses or physically handicap them in another way. If they can’t engage their environment, they get quite depressed.

Fi - Show it that the world doesn’t care.
Fi users are idealists. They believe strongly in moral absolutes, and they know exactly what their “perfect” world looks like. And they do everything in their power to demonstrate their ideals to the world. What gets them down is a sense of futility; that the world will, at best, ignore the work they are doing on its behalf, or, at worst, destroy that work. Reality is not kind to Fi users, and this fact can be very difficult to overcome.

Fe - Show it that you don’t care.
Fe users absorb the emotions of others. This is both the cause of their nurturing tendencies, and the ultimate payoff. Positive emotions given off by people helped by Fe users are channeled into further efforts to continually effect those emotions. For this reason, apathy is by far the greatest poison to Fe. Apathy in others is picked up by Fe users, causing them to feel unappreciated and that their work is for naught. And soon they themselves become apathetic and depressed.

Ti - Call it trivial.
Ti is commonly associated with geek culture, because this function places great value on the what and the how of all things. Thus it is analytical, gleaning as much practical knowledge as it can, and intellectual pursuits are ideal for this. Belittling the pursuits and interests of Ti users is a good way to depress them, as it makes them feel their contributions are useless, and therefore they are as well. They may fail to show outwardly that they have been hurt, but if they seem to lose interest in the pursuit of “random” knowledge, it may be that they have lost sight of their own worth.

Te - Disrespect it.
The easiest way to make anyone angry is to show them blatant disrespect, but the easiest way to downright depress Te users is to subtly disrespect them over long periods of time. Te users are natural leaders, practical and efficient. But if they are trying to lead, only to look back and find that no one is following, they can slip into a funk, believing that their efforts are unwanted. Or if they are trying to accomplish some goal, only to have it blow up in their face, they can be left feeling that their efforts will never be rewarded. Te users who fail in their ambitions or in leadership can suffer from the blues and have a hard time climbing out of their pit without help.

I’ve seen some people talking about Robert Queen recently. Wondering how Oliver didn’t put two and two together. Talking about how he watched his father kill while on the life raft.  So I decided to write a short thing that turned into a really long thing, because of course I did.

Early on in the episode, Oliver flat out refused to watch the video, and when Thea forced him to, he insisted on it being a cover-up. He was about to do a press-conference saying that it was until his sister put a stop to it. 

Oliver Queen sees the best in people, especially in those closest to him. Even after five years in hell where that was shocked and beaten out of him, he still has that little glimmer of hope in his heart when looking at a person. It’s why he tried to convince Evelyn that they could work together in 5x17. There’s a hundred examples, and though that heart for people has diminished at times, he still tries to see good. It’s part of why Felicity loves him, and why the team stands by him. But that can cloud his judgment, and it’s been shown in the past that it especially becomes problematic when he’s around family. He refused to believe Thea killed Sara, refused to believe anything bad about Laurel. Diggle had to step in to deal with Moira in season 1 because Oliver wouldn’t. 

It’s the same with his father. 

And it’s the same with all of us. 

Growing up, a lot of us view our parents as saints. We come to them for help when we need a problem dealt with, we cry on their shoulders. We think they have all the answers. But they don’t. As we get older, we realize that they have their faults, and they don’t know everything.

Oliver skipped that moment that all of us have to deal with when we realize that our parents aren’t exactly who we thought they were. 

We don’t really know when he started partying and sleeping around, but we know he got shipwrecked around his 22nd birthday. That was probably a few years into his alcohol-haze, and we’ve seen that he feels guilty for the things he did during that time, especially the cheating. After he was shipwrecked, he proceeded to spend five years in the worst kind of hell, where he had to kill and torture to survive. That took a toll on him; enough that he passed up two or three opportunities to go home because he thought he was a monster. 

He came home thinking he was a man irredeemable. In the pilot, he walks out of the bathroom and loos at himself in the mirror. The Hood flashes, giving us a glimpse into how he views himself. He looks in the mirror and sees his scars. The nightmares. The PTSD. Everything that he has done, in his opinion, has sunk him into a pit that he can’t climb out of. 

And then he sees his family. 

Thea. 

Originally posted by thearrowgifs

Moira.

Originally posted by thearrowgifs

Tommy. 

Originally posted by somosshippers

He meets Diggle. 

Originally posted by thearrowgifs

And then Felicity. 

Originally posted by yet-i-remain-quiet

All of them, in his eyes, are better than he is. 

Deep down, Oliver doesn’t believe he is as worthy as others. He spent five years trying to convince himself that his family was perfect because he thought he was terrible. He needed something to believe in, so he told himself over and over again that Thea was his baby sister who liked playing with dolls and Moira was still his mom who gave him her smile every morning, even if he was hungover. 

And he convinced himself that though Robert Queen had started the undertaking with Malcolm, though he had shot a man in the life-raft, though he confessed to not being a good man…that he was still better than him. He created the Arrow crusade to honor his father, because the only reason he was alive was because his dad shot himself in the head. He feels responsible for Robert dying, so he created this…only to realize that his father had done the same thing he’s spent so many years beating himself up about, and spent so many years fighting in his name. 

In 5x21, Felicity tells him that he needs to start living for himself. 

Originally posted by oliverxfelicity

And Oliver will truly be able to do that when he realizes that he’s good enough. 

That he deserves to have a wife. 

Originally posted by alstroemeriawildflowers

To have a sister, and to be a brother. 

Originally posted by dmichellewrites

Originally posted by ramagokhale

And to have a son. 

Originally posted by arrowsource

He’s finally realized that all of the people who he cares about have their faults. Thea isn’t innocent anymore. She’s killed, and she’s angry. Diggle took his own brother’s life. Felicity got into bed with Helix. His mom was involved in the Undertaking, and forced Samantha to lie about William. And now, the last piece of that puzzle has been placed: Robert killed. 

Oliver can no longer put himself down because other people have done bad things too. It’s not that they’re all terrible people now; it’s that they’re not perfect in his eyes anymore. And that knowledge will release him from the burden that he’s carried. 

😊Too Busy For Me (Grayson x Reader)

Summary:  Hi! Can I request a grayson imagine that bc the twins are both very busy with their warehouse that grayson hasn’t been spending time with y/n, y/n is very upset about it, but doesn’t say anything bc she’s happy for the both of them that they can make all of it happen,one day y/n comes by and asks if grayson and her could do something together, which he responds with a no bc he’s busy, y/n starts being quiet after that and ethan tells him to go to her and spend some time with her and make up 😊

Warnings: None

A/N: Requests are opened! It’s finals week so I might be a little slow on posting but I still plan to for you guys! NEXT WEEK: Mini Series with Ethan! Be Ready!

Originally posted by thedolangifs

“Babe!” Grayson shouts at me which makes me laugh. We were currently playing in the foam pit with Ethan. The boys finally finished their Warehouse which they have been working on for a few months now and I couldn’t be happier for them. They are doing so much for their fans it’s crazy. It’s so crazy that I never get to see Grayson anymore. I even moved to LA to be closer to him and I still never see him. I’ve done my best to hangout with him, but he’s normally in the warehouse doing crazy stunts for a video or he’s off doing interviews. But tonight I had news for Grayson. I won concert tickets to The 1975 and I wanted to take him out on a romantic date. “Let’s go edit the video for this week!” Grayson exclaims as E and him struggle to climb out of the foam pit. I was shorter than the boys by about a foot and I didn’t have as much upper body strength like they did. Normally one of the boys would help me climb out, but they didn’t give me a second thought.

“Babe a little help?” I asked Grayson who was already walking out of the warehouse. I was trying to hop up, but I wasn’t having much luck.

“It’s all in the legs babe. Just kick and swing your leg up.” Grayson says as he and E turn to look at me. I tried a few times before Ethan came over and helped me out of the pit.

“How on earth do you have a girlfriend and I don’t?” Ethan laughs which makes Gray and I chuckle.

“I don’t know. She’s pretty great though.” Grayson says which makes me blush. Ethan scoffs and rolls his eyes. We all walk up to the boy’s apartment and immediately they darted to Ethan’s room. I checked the time and saw the clock read 2:53pm. I sighed and I went in Grayson’s room. I lied down on his bed and scrolled through twitter for a little bit, before I decided to close my eyes and take a little nap. I missed Grayson’s arms around me as I would try and nap. My head would lie on his chest as he pulled me into him and throw a blanket over us to keep me warm. He would even play with my hair until I dozed. I’ve never slept in Grayson’s bed without Grayson before. I didn’t like it at all, but I knew the fans came before me, but I just wished it was the other way for once.

***

“Awesome!” I heard Grayson shout which woke me up from my nap. I quickly checked my phone. I had a few missed calls and messages, but the time read 8:42pm. I rubbed my eyes and walked into Ethan’s room. The boys were staring at the computer screen still editing their video. I cleared my throat at which they both turned to look my direction. “Hey babe.” Grayson diverts his attention from the screen for two seconds to look at me and then went back to the screen.

“Hey.” I said shyly. “How’s the video coming along?” I asked awkwardly.

“It’s going good actually. When did you get back?” Grayson asks still looking at the screen.

“Back? What do you mean I’ve been here the whole time. I’ve been napping in your bed since three.” I said a little loud. “You mean you didn’t try to text or call to make sure I was okay or anything?” I asked a little hurt. Remembering all of the missed calls and texts and not seeing Grayson’s name once.

“I guess I didn’t think about it.” Was all he said. I decided to ask if he wanted to go on a date Friday night.

“Hey Grayson? It’s been awhile since we’ve spent some time together. Would you probably want to have a nice date on Friday followed by a cool concert? I have the–” Grayson cuts me off.

“Friday? Babe I can’t. We have to film two videos a week now and Friday is going to be our editing/filming day.” He says looking at Ethan.

“Oh okay.” I said before he looked back to the screen. “I think I’m gonna go home.” I said before I just left not even waiting for goodbye or anything. I feel a tear trickling down my cheek as I walked down the road to my house. I walked inside and I went straight to my room and I cried into my pillow. It was like I didn’t even have a boyfriend anymore. My phone started ringing when I saw Ethan was calling me. I didn’t want to answer. I threw my phone across the room in my closet while I kept crying in my pillow. I knew Ethan would try and defend Grayson, but I didn’t want to hear it. I then heard my phone ring with a different tone. It was Gray’s. I threw a pillow in my closet to muffle the rings as I was tired and hurt right now. I decided I would try and get some sleep and then tomorrow find someone else to go to the concert with me, and maybe even break up with Grayson. No I didn’t want to break up, but it was obvious Grayson just didn’t have time for me right now. After tossing and turning for about an hour and crying some, I finally fell asleep.

***

Tink

Tink

Tink

I fluttered my eyes open to the sight of Grayson in a tree. “Grayson!” I shouted as I jumped to my feet and opened my window. He was holding a stuffed animal which looked to be a puppy and some flowers.

“Y/N I am so sorry. I never meant to ignore or hurt you. I love you so much. I shouldn’t have put Youtube above you. I just got so caught up and I’m stressing and I would love to go on a date with you Friday night. Please Y/N I’m so sorry.” Grayson apologizes which makes me smile. I held my hand out for Grayson to grab so I could help him in my room. He gladly accepts my offer as I pull him inside. I grab his shoulders to prevent him from falling over. His hands found my waist as he rests his forehead against mine. “I love you Y/N.” He says and I smile.

“I love you too Grayson.” I said as I pressed my lips to his ever so gently. Grayson pulls away and uses the pad of his thumb to rub right where an eyelash was.

“Make a wish.” He says holding the eyelash in front of my face. I blew the lash as Grayson and I sat on my bed. I lied my head on his chest as he pulled the covers over us. I pressed my cold hands on his stomach trying to warm myself up. He rested his chin on top of my head as his fingers tangled in my hair.

“So what made you come to your senses?” I giggled.

“Actually Ethan. As soon as you left he smacked my face. I yelled at him, he told me I was being a jerk, I denied it, he proved his case, and here we are. We tried calling you, but you didn’t answer so I knew you were pissed.” Grayson chuckles.

“I wouldn’t say pissed, but more like I was hurt. I wanted all your attention. I still do. I just felt like you didn’t care anymore.” I mumbled in his chest which he pressed  my face up to meet his. He gently presses his lips to mine.

“I know baby and I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. I just plan to prove myself to you on Friday with our date. What concert are we going to go see?” He asks which makes me smile.

“The 1975 of course!” I exclaimed which his eyes grew huge.

“I love you so much Y/N. I can’t believe I was such an idiot before.” He says before pressing his lips to mine again and holding me until we both fell asleep.

Tano and Kenobi: A New Assignment

Previously on Tano and Kenobi…

After a tense duel between Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Jedi Knight Ahsoka Tano for the right to train Senior Initiate Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano emerges victorious. After their apprenticeship is approved by the Jedi Council, the two take part in the ancient Jedi ceremony that binds a Master and a Padawan Learner together in the guiding light of the Force.

We rejoin our heroes, two years into their partnership, Obi-Wan determined to become the best Padawan Learner in the Order and Ahsoka determined to prevent the cruel future that threatens to destroy the galaxy once more…

First | Previous | Next | AO3


“When you are ready, please begin, Padawan Kenobi.”

The Northern Solar training room was filled with the brilliant light of midday sun filtered through the high, arched stained glass windows that looked out onto Coruscant and the speeder bay three levels below. A group of padawans, none older than fifteen standard years, were assembled in the far left corner of the room, milling about as they each waited their turn to tackle the complicated obstacle course set up by Master Ki-Adi-Mundi. Three padawans had already made their way through the course with decent times and only a few falls and one face plant but that had been because Quinlan Vos had been showing off again.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padawan Learner to temporally displaced Jedi Knight Ahsoka Tano, was next in line and he had every intention of blasting through the obstacle course with a perfect score and the fastest time of the day. He shot a glance over at his master, who was sitting on the benches that lined the side of the room, her legs crossed and her posture relaxed and confident. She gave him a bright smile and two thumbs up as pride and faith flowed across their training bond.

You’ve got this, Obi-Wan. I know you do.

Obi-Wan took a deep, full-body breath, practically levitating up onto his toes with excitement and nerves. He exhaled and relaxed down into a starter’s crouch, waiting for the Force to sing.

Ki-Adi-Mundi watched the boy with an arched brow but said nothing, trusting Kenobi to know when the time was right.

The Force swirled and let out a note of cheerful harmony and Obi-Wan was off like a shot, his gait smooth and even as he sprinted up an incline and into the obstacle course, adrenaline flowing through him as he vaulted both legs over a low obstacle and moved on to a complicated piece of machinery that was supposed to swing him over a chasm that could have played host to a river, a congested skyway or vein of red hot lava on a volcanic planet somewhere.

Ahsoka watched Obi-Wan breeze through the first two obstacles, cheering him on from the sidelines. There were a few other masters there, observing their own padawans and gossiping about the latest rumors floating around the temple. Apparently Qui-Gon Jinn had managed to improvise his way to a diplomatic solution on a Mid-Rim planet that had been plagued by infighting between powerful dynastic houses. He would be heading back to the Temple after he officiated a few royal weddings and was made a minor deity in the local state religion.

Ahsoka shook her head, her lips quirked. It seemed the Old Glacier was up to his usual antics and she was glad Obi-Wan hadn’t been forced to tag along, especially given his tendencies to rush blindly ahead into danger in his drive to help others and bring peace to the Galaxy. Knowing Obi-Wan, he would have gotten himself betrothed on accident and Qui-Gon would have made things even worse trying to extricate the boy from the unwanted union.

The combination of Jinn and Kenobi might have worked before but Ahsoka was confident that she and Obi-Wan were a much better team this time around. Obi-Wan was already more confident and less critical than when she met him and nearly two years into their pairing as Jedi Master and Padawan Learner their time together had brought a new kind of stability to them both.  Ahsoka’s nightmares of Vader, the Empire, and her lost friends were fewer and farther between and Obi-Wan’s outbursts of righteous anger and destructive self-criticism were slowly coming under control. No one in the Temple could really say they were the model of a perfect master-padawan pair but they were a fiercely devoted team working together to become better than what they were.

To be ready for the darkness when it rose up and threatened the peace of the galaxy yet again.

Keep reading

just putting it out there, i’m a history major with an english minor. i proof and edit papers (undergrad and high school) for money. i can do grammar/syntax checks for any discipline and more thorough editing for literary or historical research papers. i also can do non-scholarly jobs. i’ve been published in my university’s lit mag and won scholarships for my essays so i’m moderately qualified. i do online freelance copy-editing and writing too, off and on. msg me if u need my services. i’m very fast and cheap, paypal me after the work is done. i can do any degree of editing you like.

😊Tuesday Selfie (Ethan x Reader)

Summary: Hi babes! Can you write an imagine where Ethan flies out the reader to meet for the first time after months of talking back and forth? Btw they started talking when Ethan followed the readers Dolan Twin fan account. (This is kind of like the back story, you can totally end it however you’d like 🙃)

Warnings: None

A/N: Hey you guys I work today so I’m posting this to give you guys something to read! I’m about halfway done with part 7 and I hope to post that soonish! I plan to work on it at work too. Yeah I know the follow picture is old, just bare with me. This was requested by the lovely @goldcoaster-xo​ so I hope you guys enjoy!

Originally posted by thedolangifs


@Ethandolan: Can’t wait to meet this cutie face to face @your_username

I smiled at my phone as I boarded my plane. I was finally going to meet Ethan after we had been messaging back and forth for almost a month now. I was beyond excited and I could barely wait. I got in the plane and in a few hours I would be seeing Ethan face to face. Ethan and I first started talking after I was tweeting about #Tuesdayselfie. He followed me after a few retweets. He DMed me a few days later with “Hey :)”, I missed the DM since I was at work and messaged a few hours later. That was the beginning of sleepless nights and a long list of subtweets between us. You could say we even started a secret relationship. I mean not exactly boyfriend/girlfriend, but we were together.

Originally posted by annnightwalker

***

I get off the plane and I see Ethan holding up a sign with my name on it. I rush over to him immediately and give him a hug, which he hugs back. “You smell good.” He said before turning a bright red. I busted out laughing as he awkwardly chuckled. “Come on. Let’s drop your stuff off with Grayson.” He ushered me out of the airport and into an Uber. I nodded as he sat next to me. We talked about random things such as youtube, school, working as a youtuber versus working at a steakhouse. I rested my head on his shoulder as we drove around LA.

Originally posted by moan-s

“So do you get free steak?” He asked me giggling.

“I get a discount on my order. 10 percent, but I don’t get it for free. Which sucks.” I laughed as Ethan scoffed.

“That’s so rude. You sweat and work so hard and you get 10 percent off? That’s messed up.” He protests. Just then the Uber stopped. Ethan helped me grab my bags as we walked inside his apartment. I can’t believe I’m in the Dolan twins apartment right now. I can’t believe I would be in Los Angeles for one week hanging out with the Dolan twins. This was too good to be true. Ethan unlocked the door as we walked inside. Grayson was eating some chips while playing on his phone.

“Hey guys!” Grayson exclaims as he stands to his feet walking towards us. He gives Ethan a hug then looks to me. “You must be Y/N. Yeah Ethan hasn’t shut up about you since he saw your selfie.” Ethan then smacked Grayson in his stomach causing him to cough.

“Y/N do you want to see the warehouse?” Ethan asked me. I decided, to avoid the awkwardness, to not mention anything about the comment about my selfie.

“Yeah that sounds great. Where do you want me to put my stuff?” I asked holding my pink duffle bag up referencing to it. Ethan looked at Grayson and motioned his head towards my bags as if telling him to take them.

“Just set them down. Grayson will take care of it since he’s a great brother.” Ethan smiled which caused me to laugh.

“You’re full of it Ethan.” Grayson grumbled as Ethan took my hand in his and led me out of the apartment. We were both giggling as we made it outside the apartment building, still hand in hand.

Originally posted by imaulusoyist

“Ethan you’re holding my hand still.” I smiled.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked as he tried to let go.

“No. I was just letting you know in case you didn’t know.” I said stumbling over my words.

“No I knew. There’s no other hand I would rather hold.” He smiled at me which made me start to blush. 

“So do we have to take an Uber to the warehouse or what?” I asked as I looked around in attempts to change the subject. I didn’t see any cars, but Ethan just chuckled.

“No the warehouse is in walking distance. Come on.” Ethan said leading the way. I followed behind as he stood tall in front of me. We would crack little jokes here and there, but that was about it. The entire ordeal was a little awkward, but wasn’t too awkward? I don’t know. Neither one of us had anything to say, but it was okay. Like it didn’t feel awkward. It was comfortable. Finally we get to a white giant building. “Here it…” Ethan trails off as he pats his jacket down. “Ugh I left the key at the apartment.” He groans.

“Ethan it’s fine we can–” He cuts me off.

“No no Y/N you’re going to have to climb. Gray and I leave that window unlocked so we can get inside in case something like this happens.” Our eyes trail up and I see the window about 15 feet above me.

“Are you crazy? What if I die?” I asked concerned, but he just laughed it off. “Why can’t you climb it?” I retorted back at him.

“Because I don’t want to die. Duh!” He exclaimed as we started laughing. “I’m kidding Y/N. I have the key right here. I just wanted to look at your butt.” I groaned but quickly followed it with a laugh.

“Ethan Dolan I swear.” I chuckled as he unlocked the warehouse door.

“I’m kidding. I wasn’t going to make you climb up in wedges.” He laughed as we walked inside the warehouse. I saw that there was a box of pizza and two vitamin waters sitting on a table with a candle lit. I looked to Ethan as I started laughing. “Yeah so I may have had Cam and Gray some and set the place up or something. I don’t know.” I was laughing at how cute Ethan was.

“This is super sweet Ethan. Plus that plane ride made me hungry. So we should eat.” He chuckled as he pulled a seat out for me. We laughed and talked all about life back in Jersey and what my life at home consisted of. We would tell each other horrible jokes, smooth pick up lines, and we even played in the foam pit. “Ethan I’m scared!” I shouted at Ethan who was in the foam pit. I was currently standing on the platform above the foam pit.

“Just do it babe!” He shouted not stumbling on his words. I tried not to let his words distract me. “I’ll catch you if you fall okay?”

“You’d better!” I screamed as I held on to the zipline and pushed myself off the platform. I could feel my fingers start to slip as I fell into the foam blocks.

“Y/N!” Ethan hollered as he shoved his way towards me. He threw some blocks out of the pit as he pulled me into him. “Oh my gosh Y/N are you okay?” Ethan asked as I nodded showing him I was okay.

“Yes Ethan I’m fine! Let’s do that again! That was so much fun!” I cheered excitedly like a little kid. Ethan started laughing as he tackled me into the blocks.

Originally posted by graysonthealpha

“Ethan!” I shrieked, but quickly followed with giggles as he was playfully wrestling with me. He then started tickling me. I was under all of the foam blocks just laughing with him. I couldn’t stop laughing. “Ethan.” I said out of breath as I popped my head up from the blocks. He lifted me up from my back to where my legs wrapped around his waist. I looked up from the blocks and my eyes were met with his dark hazel eyes. He raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

“I maybe asking a dumb question, but should we kiss?” He asked laughing nervously. His hand went through his hair.

“Maybe be a little more smooth?” I asked smiling as the butterflies inside my stomach we’re fluttering like crazy. He thinks for a second.

“Hmm your lips look a little cold. Let me warm them up for you.” We both started laughing as he placed his lips gently on mine as I could feel us both start to smile. I could even taste a hint of pineapple behind his kiss.

Originally posted by sensualkisses

He pulled away with a smile on his lips. “Are they still cold? I can keep warming them up if I need to.” He smiled which made me start laughing.

“They’ll be cold all week Ethan.” I said kissing his cheek. “Now help me with the zipline.” I climbed off of him as I attempted to climb out of the pit. I could hear him laughing as he grabbed my waist and hoisted me up. Pushing on my butt of course. I turned to see a smirk on his face.

“Your butt looked a little lonely. I felt it needed to be touched.” He chuckled as he hoisted himself out of the foam pit. I was excited to see what the rest of the week had in stored for us.

being a rarepair shipper includes:

  • ‘oMG MOMENT!!!!’
  • ‘dO YOU SEE THE [insert rarepair here]???!!!!’
  • ‘theY loOked at eacH OTHER OMG’
  • variations of the above
  • hawk eyes
  • v developed hawk eyes no joke ask any rarepair shipper
  • ability to turn everything into a rarepair moment
  • laCK OF FANFICS
  • overshadowed by pop ships
  • no drama thank god lmao but in return
  • no moments resulting in
  • ship tags updates once every thirty years with a blood sacrifice on a clear cloudless night under the light of the full moon  
  • constant pain
  • constantly bitter
  • v petty at lack of moments
  • lots of reminding self to not be petty
  • moments of despair
  • delusional reasonings
  • dragging others into pit of rarepair despair
  • thoughts of shipping another ship
  • realization that you’re too deep in rarepair and can’t climb out of pit

Tough Mudder MSP 2017 recap

woke up about 520 am, got dressed and met our team outside the hotel at 6am for the drive to the venue.  drive time was about an hour.  @trivialsheila prepared the team’s breakfast bagel and drinks for us to consume on the way.  i had toasted bagel w/ peanut butter and black coffee.  we checked in at the venue and were at the starting line by 730am.  we were in the 1st wave that started at 8am.  the dude in the green shirt above is the Tough Mudder coach that gets you fired up and you say the Tough Mudder pledge 

The Tough Mudder Pledge

  • I understand that Tough Mudder is not a race but a challenge.
  • I put teamwork and camaraderie before my course time.
  • I do not whine – kids whine.
  • I help my fellow mudders complete the course.
  • I overcome all fears.

and sing the U.S. national anthem.  the weather was nice.  about 65F and moderate humidity to start.

more photos and description after the break

Keep reading

The Forging of the Wolf

Chapter 1.  Trigger warning: sexual assault.


The young man was dragged before the general, hands shackled behind him, a guard on each arm.  No, not a young man, despite his lanky height; a boy without even down yet growing upon his chin.  A boy with defiance and hatred in his turquoise eyes.

“What is your name, boy?” the general asked.  He said nothing, but held the older man’s stare, tall enough to look slightly down his nose.  He stalked towards him, closing the distance between them in three strides, bristling.  “I said,” he growled, inches from that defiant face, “what is your name.”  When the boy still didn’t speak, he slammed a fist into his abdomen, forcing the golden-haired boy to bend over and pull against the hold on his arms. When he was able to straighten again, he merely set his jaw and stared ahead.  Three blows then, two to the abdomen and one to the ribs, hard enough to bruise bone.  The boy buckled, wheezing for a moment, but when he got his feet under him again he merely looked the general straight in the eye and bared his teeth in a grin.  “You will tell me your name, puppy, or you will die.”  

Those cursed eyes dared him to do it.  There was a wildness under this boy’s skin he had never seen before.  He wondered what had caused Erik to capture rather than kill him, and that question kept his hand off his dagger.  Instead, he turned as if going to walk away, then spun and slammed his fist into the boy’s jaw.  He had knocked grown men unconscious more than once with that blow, often shattering bone, but though the boy fell back against his guards he returned to his feet within seconds.  Glaring, he spat at the general’s feet, bloody saliva spraying on his boots.  The general looked at the guards.  “Throw him in the holding pit,” he ordered, and spun on his heel to find Erik and learn what the hell he was thinking.

*****

Erik ducked into the tent and stood at attention until the general acknowledged him.  While he didn’t particularly like Erik, he did respect him as being a very effective war camp leader.  His men followed him unquestioningly, and Erik’s loyalty to Adarlan was beyond doubt.

“You wished to see me sir?”

The general gestured to the seat opposite him and Erik sat.  “What’s the story with that whelp you brought in today?”

“Sir?”

“That young son of Hellas with a death wish.”

Erik flushed slightly and his expression became mildly defensive.  “He was one of the fighters on the periphery, sir.  Fighting in a group of Rhoe Galathynius’s former men.  When the last of Galathynius’s men fell, he just stood over the body and kept fighting.  Gutted one of my men, injured a couple of others pretty badly before Marcus managed to get a blow to his temple.”

“So why capture him?  Seems like an arrow to the throat would’ve saved a lot of trouble.”

Erik was silent for a moment, then replied, “Because if he can fight like that as just a boy, if he can be broken, he could be invaluable to us.  A son of Terrasen, fighting for Adarlan?  That could be a very powerful symbol.”

The general shook his head.  “Men like that can’t be broken.  You should have killed him.”

“All due respect, sir,” Erik replied, “every man can be broken.”

The general mulled that over.  “Well, I’ll leave him here with you to do as you see fit.  If you succeed in turning him, send him my way.  If not, hang him and leave his body for the crows.  That will also be a powerful symbol.”

“Indeed.”  Erik stood to leave.

“Do you know his name?  He refused to tell me.”

“No, sir.  But I do know Rhoe Galathynius had a protege, some kin of his wife’s.  Don’t know anything else about him, but he sure fought like someone taught by Galathynius.”

Interesting.  He nodded his dismissal and Erik slipped out of the tent.  He thought about going to talk to the boy again, but shook his head and returned to his maps.  He needed to move on to the next camp tomorrow, and from now on the silent, defiant boy was Erik’s problem.

*****

Erik stalked away from the general’s tent, heading straight for the stone-lined pit they used to hold particularly challenging prisoners.  He passed the corral that the rest of the conquered people sat in, a few keening but most just numb and silent with despair.  Terrasen had been more challenging to conquer than had been expected, especially since the entire Galathynius family had been slaughtered all those months ago.  But those gods-damned Lords had done a surprisingly effective job of rallying their once-considerable military might.  Six thousand of them had died yesterday, more than two thirds of their total force.  Enough to end this at last, he hoped.  Even though the camp was miles from the battlefield, he could smell the smoke from the pyres.  As clever as those Lords might be, they would never overcome the might of the King of Adarlan.

Reaching the pit, he looked at the guard who was sitting on the wooden lid.  The other guard had snapped to attention as soon as he had appeared.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he snapped.

“Keeping the prisoner contained, sir,” the guard replied respectfully.  Erik tried to recall his name.

“He can’t climb out of that pit.”

The standing guard, Deaghall, cleared his throat.  “Excuse me, sir, but he actually can.  He almost made it out before we managed to get the lid secure.”

Holy gods.  “How long has he been in there?”

“Two hours, sir.”

Erik thought about the heat, about the brutal march from the battlefield, and about the various bruises and wounds the bastard had sustained.  They had dragged the boy shackled behind a horse, as he refused to walk any other way, and had kept him moving at a brisk enough clip he couldn’t start anything.  He calculated when he should pull him out of there

“Come and get me at sundown,” he ordered, and left to deal with processing the other prisoners of war.  He hated this paperwork, but the King was adamant he be informed about every captured enemy.  Many of them would end up being sentenced to Endovier for any war crimes they may have committed; some would be integrated into Adarlan; and some would be allowed to return to their homes.  Cal Lochan had already gone to the chopping block; so had many of the other most influential warriors and Lords.  Nearly all of King Orlon’s most loyal people had died, either slaughtered in the initial purge or on the battlefield.  The rest just needed to be smoked out and destroyed.  Starting with that hard-eyed whelp in the pit.

*****

The boy sat in the dark.  There was not a single part of him that didn’t hurt, so he had given up cataloguing his injuries.  The pounding in his head was the most unbearable, that and the dry rawness in his throat.  He was almost grateful for the dark as he wasn’t sure his eyes could have handled sunlight.  At least those bastards had shackled his hands in front of him before lowering him into the pit.

Resting his shoulders against the cool stone, a slight reprieve from the stuffy heat of the air, images from the past three days ran through his mind.  Darrow’s reedy voice ordering him to the rear guard, only to fight should the battle go very, very wrong.  He was supposed to be safer there.  Since he wasn’t slaughtered on the first day, he guessed that had been true.  Quinn, laughing wonderful Quinn, standing steely-eyed next to him, sword at the ready, waiting for the fighting to reach them without a trace of hope or humor in his face.  The metallic stench of blood and mud and piss shoving its way up his nostrils, somehow in keeping with the clashing of swords and shields and the shouts and screams of dying men coming from below them.  When darkness finally fell, the killing fields had gone almost silent as the two sides retreated, both having taken heavy casualties, only a breath before the fighting would begin again.  The boy closed his eyes and pressed his head against the rock behind him as the sound of crackling flame echoed in his memory.  Adarlan’s forces had gotten around the guard and set fire to a third of the tents the soldiers were resting in, then stood surrounding the camp slaughtering anyone who emerged.  Darrow had ordered him and Quinn and a small contingent of men to flee and they had - only to run right into an ambush as dawn broke.  His own scream as the arrow had gone through Quinn’s throat would never leave his ears.  He still didn’t know why they hadn’t sent another through his own.  He wished they had.  

So he sat in the dark, waiting, the names of his beloved dead pounding in his head.

*****

It was well past sunset before Erik finally had finished recording the names and villages of all the prisoners.  This list would be cross-checked against Adarlan’s main list of important members of the resistance.  He strode back to the pit, exhaustion nagging at him.  This boy was probably more trouble than he was worth.  Maybe he should just kill him; a part of him still didn’t know why he’d spared him, why that voice had whispered to him that he must be saved.  

He nodded to the guards, and Deaghall, who had been sitting on the lid, stood stiffly and they pulled it back.  Erik leaned over, using his torch to illuminate the depths of the pit.  The boy was blinking at them in the sudden light, face bruised and swollen, his clothes wet and torn.  “Well, boy, I’m here to give you a second chance,” he said.  Deaghall dropped a rope down into the pit.  “Climb up, son.”  He didn’t move, didn’t even get to his feet.  Erik considered his options.  The boy hadn’t water for at least a day, and who knew when he had last eaten.  It was entirely possible he was too weak to stand.  He walked over to the taller guard, Cesan was his name, and said in a low voice, “I want you to go in there and get him.  We may need to tie the rope around his wrists to haul him up, he’s probably too spent.  But don’t drop your guard.”  Cesan nodded, then took the rope and lowered himself into the pit.  Going to the boy, he grabbed him roughly by the back of the shirt and hauled him to his feet, the boy working to get his legs under him rather than resisting.  Good, Erik thought, maybe he was smarter than he seemed.  As Cesan turned his back to him to grab the rope, the boy moved, faster than should have been possible, and looped his shackles around the older man’s neck, pulling back as he crossed his wrists, cutting of Cesan’s air.  Deaghall cried out in alarm, but Cesan was no fool.  He stomped his heel hard on the boy’s instep, causing him to loosen his grip involuntarily.   An elbow to the belly had him doubling over, and Cesan spun and jabbed the heel of his hand at the boy’s nose.  He managed to dodge that blow by some miracle, taking it on the cheekbone instead, but his brief surge of energy was spent.  Had he been a little older, a little more experienced, Erik thought, the guard would have been dead.  Shaking his head, a wry expression on his seasoned face, Cesan dragged him to the rope and bound it around his wrists, then nodded to Erik and Deaghall.  With the two of them pulling and Cesan pushing, they managed to haul the boy up over the edge.  He stood there for a moment, hands braced on his knees, before straightening on steady legs while Deaghall lowered the rope back for Cesan to climb out.

“You’re a fool,” Erik said, staring right into those turquoise eyes.  The boy merely stared back, unblinking, the look more animal than human.  Erik found himself somewhat unnerved, but this was why he couldn’t bring himself to kill the whelp.  This ferocity, the depths of his reserves.  What would the world lose if he died?  What might he become if he could be brought to Adarlan’s side?  He turned away, gesturing to Cesan and Deaghall to bring the prisoner.  Once in his tent, he sat on his chair and rested his ankle on his knee, studying the creature who was now standing before him.  “What. Is. Your. Name.”

Somehow that gods-damned boy smiled at him through his cracked, swollen lips.  

In a flash, Erik was on him, dagger in his hand.  Cesan grabbed the boy’s thick hair and yanked his head back, then kicked his knees out from under him, but those eyes never left Erik’s face.  He pressed the dagger against the boy’s throat; he didn’t so much as flinch.  No, instead he started to laugh, a hoarse, eerie sound.  “You don’t fear death, do you, whelp.”  The laughter continued.  Not only didn’t fear it, but perhaps craved it.  But maybe…  Pushing past the guards and ducking through the flaps of the tent, Erik strode for the prisoners’ corral.  If the boy wouldn’t yield for his own life, perhaps he would for another’s.  

He walked through the clusters of prisoners curled up on the ground trying to find a few moments’ rest, scanning the faces.  Heads rose at his approach, then flattened back down to the ground, hoping to remain unnoticed.  A girl caught his eye, probably thirteen or fourteen years old, her breasts just budding, tangled dark hair falling over her pretty, dirty face.  He grabbed her arm and yanked her roughly from the ground, and she began to scream.  The sound of his dragger being drawn shut her up, but her mother had leaped to her feet and began to cry, clutching at his arm.  “Take me,” she wailed, “don’t hurt my daughter.  Please, please, sir.”  He ignored the woman, and the other prisoners who were sitting up to gawk, all the way to the gate and through it, the guards closing the gate on her weeping.  The girl was trembling but compliant, no doubt hoping obedience would earn her mercy.  Too bad for her it wasn’t her obedience being tested.

The boy had returned to his feet by the time he shoved the girl through the flaps.  He studied the girl impassively, no sign of emotion on his face.  Erik spun the girl so her back was against him and held his knife to her throat.  Tears poured down her face, wetting his hand, and she was shaking so hard he thought she might accidentally slit her own throat.  The boy’s nostrils flared but otherwise there was no change to his expression.  “Do you wish to condemn this girl to suffer because of your arrogance?” Erik snarled.  “Shall I spill her throat upon the ground?  Will that make you talk?”  He didn’t actually want to kill the girl; not only would it cause a pile of more paperwork, but he thought it would actually hurt his chances of making headway with the freak of nature before him.  Still, there were other methods that he had seen be effective over his decades as a soldier for Adarlan…Sheathing his knife, he dragged her the two steps across his tent and threw her down on the cot, yanking her skirt up as he did so.  She screamed in sheer terror and tried to leap up, no doubt to try to run, but he backhanded her across the face and she fell back again, hand automatically going to her cheek, subsiding into silent sobs.

Erik turned his head to stare at the boy.  “I want you to know, that everything I do to this girl is going to be your fault,” he said in a low growl.  “You have the power to stop this.”  Turning back to the girl, he yanked her skirt up again and tore her cheap underwear off.  She barely even had any hair.  As he knelt between her knees and began unbuckling his belt, she tried to surge up again and he shoved her down.  Gritting his teeth, he finished with the belt and started on the buttons on his pants.  He was not one of those men who got their jollies from children.  Or terror.  No, he preferred his women full-figured and enthusiastic, but he was counting on the tall boy breaking under the prospect of this random girl being violated.  Unfortunately, the silence behind him was deafening.  Slipping his hand into his open pants, he gripped his flaccid organ.  As much as he felt nauseated at the prospect of forcing this girl, he knew the impact it could have, the statement of what he was willing to do, the measures he would go to.  Shifting his knees, he forced the girl’s thighs wider, trying not to look at what was now spread before him, and leaned forward, pressing a hand on her shoulder.  Her whole body was vibrating, her eyes closed, her lips moving in what might have been a prayer to some forsaking god.

“Aedion,” came a rasping voice from behind him.  Erik froze, uttering an internal prayer of thanks, then looked over his shoulder at the boy.  “Aedion Ashryver.”  A jolt went through him at that name, and he could see that Cesan and Deaghall recognized it as well.  He pushed roughly off the cot, swiftly buttoning his pants, and turned to face him fully.  

“Aedion Ashryver.  Well, well, well, look sharp, men,” he sneered.  “We have a prince of Wendlyn among us.”  He should have known, really; those vivid eyes with that gold ring around the pupil should have given it away, but he had forgotten or never known that Rhoe Galathynius’s protege was more than just a talented kid.  “How old are you, Aedion?”  

He thought for a second the prince wouldn’t answer, and took a step back towards the girl.  “Fourteen,” came the quiet response.  Holy gods.  To be fourteen years old and that skilled… And a boy of fourteen would no doubt be much easier to turn than had he been the seventeen he had taken him for.  The gods had indeed stayed his hand.  Erik jerked his head at the trembling wretch behind him.  “Take her back to the corral.  And don’t touch her.”  The men nodded and Deaghall grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet, helping her straighten her skirt, and she carried herself with as much dignity as she could muster out of the tent.  Once they were out of earshot, he stalked to Aedion and put a hand on his shoulder, leaning in close.  “I want you to remember tonight,” he said low in his ear.  “I want you to know that Adarlan has won, and that if you cooperate with us, you can do more to protect your countrymen than if you fight us and die.  Because if you fight us, you will die.  And then may Hellas have mercy on Terrasen.”

Aedion looked straight in his eye - one of the few in camp tall enough to do so - and gave a small nod.  “Understood.”

Erik walked out of the tent to the edge of the woods and vomited.  When he straightened, wiping his mouth, the Ashryver prince was watching him from just outside the tent, an unfathomable expression in those peculiar eyes.  

Prompt: Imagine getting injured and not wanting to tell anyone but Jim notices and gets you to Bones who becomes angry at you for not telling him Word count: 1123 Warnings: Injuries, a bit of yelling

“Everyone on the ground?”  Jim’s voice rings out into the darkness.  There was an explosion a moment ago, and we were all flung in different directions.  I slowly pull my comm up to my mouth.  “I’m fine, Captain, just a bit of debris over here, but I’ll manage.”  Switching my comm off, I turn to look at the pile of rubble on top of me.  The ‘bit of debris’ is actually one huge stalagmite that has fallen across my entire body.  I feel fine, but as I push the rock off, I suddenly gasp.  
   My uniform appears to be fine, except for a few minor tears, but as I unzip my top to check my midriff, I see hundreds of tiny rocks are peppering the skin all the way down the right side of my body.
   “Crap, oh crap it hurts,” I groan, sucking in a deep breath.  I’m fine.  I can’t let anyone know that I’m hurt.  They’ll take me to sick bay and then Bones will find out and tell everyone what I am.
   “Y/N?”  Jim’s voice buzzes through my comm.  “Are you there?”
   I grit my teeth.  “Yes Captain Kirk, I’m here.  Where are the rest of you?”
   “We’re all fine, you were the only one flung somewhere that we can’t see, the terrain’s virtually flat.  Can you get out?”
   I look around me.  There’s plenty of light shining from up above me, and I can see a place where I might be able to climb out, though it will be substantially more difficult with half my body’s blood supply slowly leaking out.
   “Uh… Yeah, just give me a minute.  You guys keep going, I’ll catch up.”
   “Negative.  We stick together.”
   “Captain, with all due respect, you said the terrain is completely flat and you could see where everyone else landed, so I assume that I should be able to see you once I get out of here.”
   There is a pause. Please, please go on without me.  “All right, but we’re coming back in ten minutes if you don’t let me know that you got out safely.”
   “Will do, I’ll be fine.”  There is no answer, and I assume that they’re leaving.  I push myself to my feet and find a rock that juts out of the wall that I can use as a starting mechanism to climb out of this pit.  With every movement I make, it feels like my body is being shot with a thousand tiny bullets, and at one point, I have to lean against the wall for a moment, holding on for dear life as my body convulses.  When I reach the top, there is no denying my wounds.  Half of my uniform is shredded and bloody, and the rest of me is covered in dust.  
   I begin limping towards the figures I can see in the distance, and I haven’t gotten very far when one of them turns back and waves to me before freezing and then sprinting towards me.
   It’s Jim, and he doesn’t stop until he gets all the way to me, stopping in his tracks to take me in.  I straighten my back and smile at him, hoping that maybe there’s some way I can get out of this without giving myself away.
   “Y/N, what happened to you?  You said you were fine!  That’s not fine!”
   “Oh this?”  I look down at my body, and then back up at Jim.  “Just scraped myself on the climb up the cave -” I scream from the pain as Jim turns me around to look at my side.  
   “Crap, crap, I’m so sorry, we need to get you to med bay right now.  Scotty, beam us up.”
   “No, I’m fine I don’t need-”  But I can’t speak anymore, the tears are springing from my eyes, and I’m gasping, it feels like I’m on fire as Jim wraps his arms around me and we beam up to the ship.
   As soon as we’ve arrived, Jim sprints to sick bay with me in his arms, and I’ve never been in worse pain in my life.  He kicks the door open and yells, “Bones!”
   Dr. McCoy turns around, a look of surprise on his face.  “Holy crap,” he breathes as he looks at me.
   “Where can I put her?” Jim says urgently.
   “Right here, quickly,” Bones points at an empty bed.
   Jim lays me gently into the bed and Bones stares at me.  “What on earth did you do to yourself?”
   I blink back the tears and try to breath.  “I got caught under some rock, and then I climbed up the cave wall.”
   Dr. McCoy’s face goes redder than I have ever seen it before, and he spins around to face Jim.  “You let her climb out of a cave like that?  She’s half dead!”
   “She told me she was fine!”  Jim protests, gesturing at me.
   Dr. McCoy turns to stare at me.  “Why did you say you were fine?  You are obviously NOT FINE.  Why do you think I am on this ship?  To drink tea and make conversation?”  He begins moving around the room to collect different items that he will need to restore my health, and then comes back over to me.  “Put your arm out.”  I oblige, slowly sliding my arm out to where he can reach it.  He grabs it and pulls it towards himself rather roughly, causing me to whimper involuntarily. He glances at me and his expression changes from annoyed to concerned.  “Sorry,” he mumbles as he prods the IV into my arm.
   I tense up, I know what’s coming next, as he pulls his stethoscope out to listen to how fast my heartbeat is going.  “No, you don’t need to do that,” I protest, weakly trying to push his hand away.
   “I do, be still, it’s not going to hurt.  Unless you keep trying to make me feel unnecessary, and then it might.”  He glares at me, but uses a gentle grip to move my hand down to my side.  This is my worst nightmare, the part where everyone finds out what I am, and what I’m not.
   Dr. McCoy listens to my chest, and then turns to my tear-streaked face.  “Y/N, why can’t I hear a heartbeat?”  
   I close my eyes, and take a deep breath.  I’ll be a disappointment to everyone on the ship when they know.  They’ll treat me differently, I’ll be an outcast to everyone.  Because outside I’m human, but inside- “You’re not looking in the right place, Dr. McCoy.  My heart is located further down, specifically, where my liver should be.”  
   Bones stares at me in confusion as comprehension begins to dawn on his face.
   “Yes Dr.  I’m half Vulcan.”