cliffs-of-insanity

Princess Bride: The Shoot From Hell That Made A Beloved Film.

The Princess Bride is one of the most popular heartwarming films of all time. But the story of its production was no fairy tale. Here are just a few of the events that happened on set:

  • The lead actors didn’t get along. Robin Wright and Cary Elwes fought constantly, often refusing to kiss each other on cue. In one instance, the actors refused to be on set in the other’s presence, necessitating many scenes to be shot with doubles, or one angle at a time. 
  • Director Rob Reiner made the film while suffering from brain parasites. Picked up from bad catering on “Stand By Me,” Reiner frequently collapsed on set, losing the shooting day as a new worm was found and removed from his cerebral cortex. He was finally cured of the disease only days after filming ended.
  • The “Cliffs Of Insanity” shoot lasted well over 7 months. Weather refused to cooperate with the dangerous stunt of climbing the rope. Every time the actors were in place they had to come back down before a storm hit, and seven stuntmen were killed when they couldn’t get free in time. Due to the dangerous conditions, many of their skeletons remain on the Cliffs of Moher where the sequence was filmed.
  • Author Donatien François who wrote the book on which the movie was based was furious over the adaptation and often showed up on set despite a restraining order. He managed to burn down the castle sets twice, kidnap Billy Crystal for two days, poison the craft services table with Iocane powder, shoot Werner Herzog, steal most of the horses and viciously bite off Christopher Guest’s sixth finger for which he had been cast. He remains in jail as of 2016.
  • The budget soared from an intended $16 Million dollars to a record $98 Million, and its planned two month shoot lasted well well into 1987, the film having begun shooting in 1983. During this time numerous roles had to be recast, and many crew were replaced, including ten cinematographers, four directors (Reiner was preceded by Stanley Kubrick, Roman Polanski, and Werner Herzog), and had to reshoot many scenes when the movie took so long to make that the first footage shot had decayed by the time it made it back to the developer lab.
  • The large rats used as “ROUSs” were real rats that had been specifically bred upward in size to be in the movie. Taking 4 years to breed, the giant rodents were uncontrollable on stage. In a single day, they ate all the catering, splattered the swamp set with noxious feces that caused sickness among the handlers, tore up most of the costumes, killed an alligator which was to have appeared in the scene, and seven of the beasts were lost into the streets where they caused a massive traffic accident and plagued the Fox Studio lot for decades. One can be seen hiding in the background of a shot in Alien 3.
  • Wallace Shawn stubbed his toe on a rock while shooting the famous battle of wits scene. He tells the story in “My Dinner With Andre.”
10

Amazing Places to Visit at least once in lifetime. 

  1. Portaledge Camping at Yosemite
  2. Swing at the end of the world, Baños Ecuador
  3. Sky walking on Mount Nimbus, Canada
  4. Bike riding on the Cliffs of Moher
  5. Insanity, Las Vegas
  6. Cliff Diving, Islet of Vila Franca do Campo, Portugal
  7. Trolltunga, Odda, Norway
  8. Willis Tower (formally Sears Tower), glass floor, Chicago
  9. The Edgewalk, Toronto, Canada
  10. Devil’s Pool, Victoria Falls, Zambia
Comments left for myself on this dumb novel

“this sentence is bad and you should feel bad”

“I am asking you to stop”

“There! The Cliffs of Insanity!”

“this is a straight up disgrace, bro”

“ehhh”

“This scene is 8,640 words at this point and that is horrifying on so many levels but I don’t see a functional way to change it and that’s like 200 more levels of horrifying.” 

“setting description is the bane of my existence”

“y tho”

“change the mouse’s name”

“need a physical description of him because APPARENTLY HE’S IMPORTANT NOW”

“Meera’s stomach comes up often enough to qualify as a character.”

“blinded me???? (with science!)”

“what the shit I can’t have a mouse named Aurora AND Feliciano’s sister named Aurora one of them has to change, how did I even do that”

“fix this scene. I mean jfc woman.”

“ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

Ok but consider:

  • Queen’s Thief and The Princess Bride have a lot in common
  • the smartass humor
  • the duels that always manage to surprise someone involved– both of the man in black’s matches / gen with the wooden sword or sophos with the guns
  • kidnapping the woman you love
    • that whole cliffs of insanity bit is very QoA
  • the parallels between the deeper meaning in “As you wish” and “You are my queen”
  • Prince Humperdink = Nahuseresh
  • the farmboy/the goat foot
    • westley being a pirate / gen being a thief
  • the metaphorical masks of QoA and the literal Man in Black’s mask in Princess Bride
  • think about the scene with the wine and the poison compared to Attolia’s wine/poison story or Gen’s political maneuvering in KoA
  • so where am i going with this
  • the answer is “Queen’s Thief princess bride au”

This is yet another instance of a seemingly simple scene to which I find myself hugely overreacting. In any other show with any other couple, you perhaps wouldn’t give this a second thought. It may even be looked at as mundane. But this is not just any couple. And this is certainly not just any family. This is Booth and Brennan sitting on a couch with THEIR six year old daughter. A daughter we have known since birth. A daughter we have watched grow up over the years. All of them together, just watching TV one morning. They are truly a family in every sense of the word now (minus a couple boys). It is so precious. These moments are honestly anything but normal. They are extraordinary. Because this was all earned. After everything these two have been through over the past decade+, they deserve this life. And I treasure little “nothing” moments like this, each and every episode. Because I know all that it took to get here. And it really has just been a pleasure to be a part of “everything that happens next.” Booth and Brennan finally reached their “eventually.” 

Scaling the Cliffs of Insanity, Battling Rodents of Unusual Size, Facing torture in the Pit of Despair. - True love has never been a snap. Heroes. Giants. Villains. Wizards. True Love. - Not just your basic, average, everyday, ordinary, run-of-the-mill, ho-hum fairy tale.

I’m usually not for remakes, but if a modern day remake of the Princess Bride were to actually ever happen, I humbly request Nicole Beharie as Princess Buttercup and John Cho as Wesley because… duh!