cliffs-of-insanity

Princess Bride: The Shoot From Hell That Made A Beloved Film.

The Princess Bride is one of the most popular heartwarming films of all time. But the story of its production was no fairy tale. Here are just a few of the events that happened on set:

  • The lead actors didn’t get along. Robin Wright and Cary Elwes fought constantly, often refusing to kiss each other on cue. In one instance, the actors refused to be on set in the other’s presence, necessitating many scenes to be shot with doubles, or one angle at a time. 
  • Director Rob Reiner made the film while suffering from brain parasites. Picked up from bad catering on “Stand By Me,” Reiner frequently collapsed on set, losing the shooting day as a new worm was found and removed from his cerebral cortex. He was finally cured of the disease only days after filming ended.
  • The “Cliffs Of Insanity” shoot lasted well over 7 months. Weather refused to cooperate with the dangerous stunt of climbing the rope. Every time the actors were in place they had to come back down before a storm hit, and seven stuntmen were killed when they couldn’t get free in time. Due to the dangerous conditions, many of their skeletons remain on the Cliffs of Moher where the sequence was filmed.
  • Author Donatien François who wrote the book on which the movie was based was furious over the adaptation and often showed up on set despite a restraining order. He managed to burn down the castle sets twice, kidnap Billy Crystal for two days, poison the craft services table with Iocane powder, shoot Werner Herzog, steal most of the horses and viciously bite off Christopher Guest’s sixth finger for which he had been cast. He remains in jail as of 2016.
  • The budget soared from an intended $16 Million dollars to a record $98 Million, and its planned two month shoot lasted well well into 1987, the film having begun shooting in 1983. During this time numerous roles had to be recast, and many crew were replaced, including ten cinematographers, four directors (Reiner was preceded by Stanley Kubrick, Roman Polanski, and Werner Herzog), and had to reshoot many scenes when the movie took so long to make that the first footage shot had decayed by the time it made it back to the developer lab.
  • The large rats used as “ROUSs” were real rats that had been specifically bred upward in size to be in the movie. Taking 4 years to breed, the giant rodents were uncontrollable on stage. In a single day, they ate all the catering, splattered the swamp set with noxious feces that caused sickness among the handlers, tore up most of the costumes, killed an alligator which was to have appeared in the scene, and seven of the beasts were lost into the streets where they caused a massive traffic accident and plagued the Fox Studio lot for decades. One can be seen hiding in the background of a shot in Alien 3.
  • Wallace Shawn stubbed his toe on a rock while shooting the famous battle of wits scene. He tells the story in “My Dinner With Andre.”
Hamilton (Lams) Princess Bride AU

Hear me out tho

  • Theo jr. is sick, so Burr comes in to read her a story.
  • Alexander is Buttercup, the orphan who lives on a farm with adoptive parents (George and Martha) 
  • John is Wesley, a sweet farmhand whom Alex falls deeply in love with
  • Alex is promised to King George III, who is a complete douchecanoe 
  • Meanwhile, on the cliffs of insanity, we’ve got Laf as Inigo Montoya, Herc as Fezzik, and Charles Lee as Vizzini 
  • “I’m a general! WHEEE!” “I do not think that means what you think it means…”
  • Laf being a sexy swordsman who can do flips n shit :3 
  • Hercules trying to bash Alex backward against a rock as they have a pleasant chat 
  • Alex outsmarting Lee with the iocane powder, then being kidnapped by the Dread Pirate Roberts (John the BAMF) they are ecstatic to see each other
  • “I thought you said there wasn’t any kissing, dad. When are we gonna get back to the action?!” “Wait for it, Theo… wait for it.” 
  • King George takes Alex back to the castle, but John is determined to get him back 
  • He ends up getting tortured by the six fingered man (Seabury gone dark) 
  • Laf and Herc find a weakened John, bring him to James Madison the Miracle Worker, who figured he may as well use his natural gift to not only heal himself of his perpetual colds, but to help people (ft. his witchy bf, Thomas) 
  • they save Alex, but Laf needs to avenge his father’s death
  • “Hello. My name is Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” 
  • And they all lived happily ever after!!!111!!
As you wish (Dwalin x Reader)

Disclaimer: I have no rights to the Princess Bride, or J.R.R.Tolkien or Peter Jackson’s work.

Word Count: 1599


Dark was the night. Silent and eerily empty as the dwarves all sat side by side, staring out into the forest or sharpening their weapons.

Not the soft crunch of a falling leaf nor the whistle of wind was heard in the encompassing and never ending emptiness surrounding you. The silence seemed to last for hours before it was broken by a sudden voice. A strong vibrant tone belonging to that of Bofur as he asked; “Lass, could you tell us another one of your stories?” Immediately, excited murmurs of agreement sprung through the air and you felt a tender smile stretch across your lips.

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Inconceivable!

Originally posted by mooseleys

You hated Prince Humperdinck with a passion. When he had asked you to marry him, you said yes only because you didn’t have much of a choice. Your one true love was dead and you had lost all purpose to live.

It didn’t take you long to find out what sort of man Humperdinck really was. He was conniving and cruel. He longed for power and he would stop at nothing to get it.You could never love a man like him.

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anonymous asked:

Oh man, I would love to see your take on Supercorp for “Have you ever wanted to hate someone?”

13. “Have you ever wanted to hate someone?”

(Original meme here.)

Kara’s alone, at home. It’s nine at night, and she’s got a busy day planned tomorrow and she’s trying to be an organized person who doesn’t need to use super speed to get through their morning routine, which is a lot more work than it seems. The knock on her apartment door is a surprise, so much so that she almost misses it.

There’s a second knock, and just as Kara’s x-raying the door to see who it is, there’s a soft voice on the other side. “Kara? Are you home?”

It’s Lena. She sounds like she’s been crying.

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Fishlegs: Hey everybody, Happy Snoggletog!

The Gang: Sshhhhh!!!

Fishlegs: What, are we keeping Snoggletog a secret this year?

Hiccup: We’re playing this game Gobber taught me. You have to name all of the 50 islands in six minuets. 

Fishlegs: What? That’s like, insanely easy.

Hiccup: No its a lot harder then it sounds. You always forget at least one or in some cases fourteen.

Astrid: Its a stupid game and I wasn’t playing against other people so technically I didn’t lose. 

Fishlegs: You forgot fourteen islands?

Astrid: Nobody cares about the marshes!

Hiccup: Okay times up.

Heather: Alright, I got forty-eight.

Hiccup: Hey, that’s not bad. Ruff?

Ruffnut:Oh, I got tired of naming islands so I decided to list types of celery instead. And I have one, Regular Celery.

Tuffnut: And I forgot the names of the islands so I just started making up my own. Like, Island That Looks Like A Face Island! The Cliffs of Insanity! Motun'ui! The Cliffhanger Isla-

Hiccup: Alright, so Heather has forty-eight and Ruff has the lead in…vegetables. And Tuff has the lead in imaginary islands. Snotlout?

Snotlout: Say hello to the new champ of Hiccups dumb island game. 

Fishlegs: Wow. How many you got?

Snotlout: 56!

Later…

Fishlegs: DONE! With time to spare!

Hiccup: OH! This may be a new world record!

Fishlegs: You know I hate to lecture you guys, but its kinda disgraceful that a group of well educated adults, with the Twins and Snotlout, can’t name all the islands in the Archipelago. You ever seen a map? Hiccup has hundreds of them, he can show you them any time you need a refresher. 

Ruffnut: REGULAR CELERY! Uch, I already have that.

Hiccup: Uh, Thor Bonecrusher? You got forty-six.

Fishlegs: What?! That’s impossible!

Snotlout: Forty-six. Who’s well educated now mister “I forgot ten islands”.

Even later…

Hiccup: Times up Fishlegs.

Fishlegs: Hang on, just give me another minuet.

Hiccup: Look Fishlegs, If you don’t know them by now you never will. That is the beauty of this game it makes you want to kill yourself. 

Ruffnut: REGULAR CELERY! Wait, I already have that one don’t I? Yep I do.

Fishlegs: This is crazy! I can do this! I bet I can get all 50 before dinner. 

Hiccup: Alright but if you can’t then no dinner.

Fishlegs: You’re on.

Snotlout: Don’t look at my list Fish-face, cause there’s a lot on there that you don’t have.

Much later…

Tuffnut: Fishlegs you need some help?

Fishlegs: From you? Ha ha! Yes please.

Tuffnut: First of all, “Itchy Armpit”? Dude you can’t just make stuff up.

Even later…

Fishlegs: I HATE THE ARCHIPELAGO! When I finish this I swear, I am moving!

Ruffnut: UHG! I can’t think of any other types of celery!

Tuffnut: Did you try Regular Celery?

Ruffnut: No! I haven’t tri-oh, no wait, false alarm, It’s the only one I have.

Even later then before…

Fishlegs: Okay maybe this is so hard because there aren’t 50 islands! Let me tell you something, I have 49 islands and there are no more! Now I think I should be able to eat something.

Astrid: Its up to you.

Fishlegs: AAAAHHH!!!!!

Late that night there is a knocking on Hiccup’s door. He gets out of bed and opens it to find Fishlegs. 

Fishlegs: Caldera Cay.

Fishlegs: Caldera Cay.

FishlegsI want my Yack chopps now.

Hiccup: You got it.

Fishlegs starts eating the Yack chopps while Hiccup reads his list.

Hiccup: You got Storehouse Island twice.

Fishlegs: *pause* I know.

Hiccup goes back to bed and Fishlegs keeps eating the Yack chopps.

(source: Friends)

10

Amazing Places to Visit at least once in lifetime. 

  1. Portaledge Camping at Yosemite
  2. Swing at the end of the world, Baños Ecuador
  3. Sky walking on Mount Nimbus, Canada
  4. Bike riding on the Cliffs of Moher
  5. Insanity, Las Vegas
  6. Cliff Diving, Islet of Vila Franca do Campo, Portugal
  7. Trolltunga, Odda, Norway
  8. Willis Tower (formally Sears Tower), glass floor, Chicago
  9. The Edgewalk, Toronto, Canada
  10. Devil’s Pool, Victoria Falls, Zambia

theladypeartree  asked:

Andavs, I've been sick as a dog and feeling like death :( will you tell me a story to make me laugh? But seriously not on the same caliber as The Portrait bc then I literally will die!! (I have the flu + cold +asthma= not too intense laughing!) If you can't that's okay. You can give me an update on saso ;) and if not that either at least let me know if you are having a better day than I am :)

I happened to be watching The Princess Bride when you sent this, so there was really no other way this could go. I hope you feel better!


Once upon a time, there was a boy.

Around the same time, there was another boy.

These two boys knew each other very well, and in fact, loved each other deeply, but refused to admit it. They lived to impress the other, lived for the other, but were determined to die before the other actually knew this. They hid their feelings behind bickering and insults, sneers and eyerolls, always threatening to leave, but never meaning it for a second.

The two boys were all each other had, living at the very edge of the kingdom of Beacon Hills, where there was little more than thieves and orphans like them scraping to get by. They could survive there, but they wouldn’t be able to live happily, not with the hand life had dealt them.

One boy realized that to be together in the future, they would have to part for the present. He’d heard tales from the thieves that roamed the forest, of men crossing the seas and returning with wealth and status, and knew what he had to do.

They said their goodbyes at the shore, parting without confessing their love, both too proud to be the first to give in and silently promising to say it when they were together again.

But the boy never returned to his love; his ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Hale. There were no survivors.

Five years later, there was to be a wedding. A royal wedding the likes of which had never been seen before, because the prince of Beacon Hills, Prince Jackson, was to marry a commoner—a boy from the outermost reaches of his kingdom. That very same boy who lost his love all those years ago.

The boy named Stiles.

Now this wedding wasn’t happening because the prince found this boy to be particularly beautiful or charming—even though he was, in a weird sort of way.

“Hey!”

He’d chosen Stiles under the incorrect assumption that he was little more than a country bumpkin who could be easily manipulated in the complex world of the royal court, if not just shut up in a locked room for the rest of his life without protest.

The prince wasn’t thrilled to find just how wrong he’d been, and quickly came to hate his fierce and clever fiancé, who fought him at every opportunity, about everything from the dinner menu to international treaties.

As much as the prince hated Stiles, Stiles hated him even more, but the wedding had already been announced to the kingdom, Stiles publicly introduced, and to call it off would cause an uproar.

The people loved Stiles, the way he wasn’t really royalty, he was one of them—he didn’t have the grace or charm of the prince, he broke out of the castle on a regular basis, and he often wandered away in the middle of official processions and banquets to local shops, feigning ignorance when caught. He’d won the people over in all of a day.

Prince Jackson may have been a pompous dolt, but he knew a political advantage when he saw one, so the wedding was planned, the excitement overtaking the castle, and Stiles resigned himself to—

“Derek.”

Derek paused and turned towards his very sick boyfriend lying next to him, cocooned in no less than four blankets. “Yes, Stiles?”

“I have a complaint.”

“Of course you do.”

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Ok but consider:

  • Queen’s Thief and The Princess Bride have a lot in common
  • the smartass humor
  • the duels that always manage to surprise someone involved– both of the man in black’s matches / gen with the wooden sword or sophos with the guns
  • kidnapping the woman you love
    • that whole cliffs of insanity bit is very QoA
  • the parallels between the deeper meaning in “As you wish” and “You are my queen”
  • Prince Humperdink = Nahuseresh
  • the farmboy/the goat foot
    • westley being a pirate / gen being a thief
  • the metaphorical masks of QoA and the literal Man in Black’s mask in Princess Bride
  • think about the scene with the wine and the poison compared to Attolia’s wine/poison story or Gen’s political maneuvering in KoA
  • so where am i going with this
  • the answer is “Queen’s Thief princess bride au”

Thanks to @mldrgrl for the prompt *insert excited squee* It’s super dialogue-heavy cause I’m tired af

#84 What would you do if you’ve never met me?

Mulder fidgeted on the couch like a fish out of water. He was surrounded by a sea of receipts, some of which had clearly seen better days. A few of them, he knew, were certainly unreadable by now. Which made all of this even worse.

“Scully, I don’t understand why we have to do this.” Mulder whined.

“Because Skinner asked us to do it.” She reminded him without taking her eyes off the form she was filling out. He listened as her pen flew rapidly over the paper. Unlike him, she was good at these things. Paperwork. The word was as bland as the work itself.

“But it’s not our job, Scully. That’s why the FBI employs accountants.” He picked up one of the receipts with the ink barely visible. Who cared how much they paid for gas in a one-horse town in the middle of nowhere?

“Yes, but Skinner asked us to do it,” Scully snapped and grabbed the piece of paper out of Mulder’s hand, “we’d be done a lot sooner if you actually helped.”
“I don’t know what to do.” Mulder admitted.

“Sort them.” She pointed at the receipts. Her glasses sat low on her nose and Mulder couldn’t help but think of a school teacher. A sexy teacher who might scold him if he didn’t obey. He cleared his throat; this was not a line of thought he should pursue at the moment. Or ever, really.

“All right,” Mulder grumbled, setting to work. The rustling of paper joined her pen-scratching, filling the room with a strange, busy sound and it wasn’t until two hours and half a pizza later that Mulder was convinced this was a new conspiracy. A cheap plot to finally give him the last push over the cliff and right into insanity. Scully was in front of him on the floor, one leg under her. Neatly stacked forms sat next to her proudly staring at him, the procrastinator.

“See how easy it is when we work together?” Scully mused. Her voice sounded accomplished, happy even. She couldn’t really consider this fun, could she?

“I still don’t-”

“See the point, I know Mulder. So you’ve mentioned.” Mulder stared at the back of her head. She’d put her hair up in a messy ponytail and it bobbed up and down slightly whenever she wrote something. It was mesmerizing.

“Mulder, keep working.”

“How do you know I’m not working?” He asked, picking up more receipts.

“It’s too quiet.” Scully turned her head and looked at him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she chuckled before she concentrated on her side of the work again, “Sometimes I just wonder.”

“About what?” Mulder held up a receipt trying to decipher it. Apparently they’d bought a diet coke and a salad at some point in the recent past. The date was washed away, literally. Mulder remembered taking the piece of paper out of his pants pockets earlier. It was a wonder it had survived at all. He really should get credit for that. Quickly, he crumpled the receipt in his hand. The FBI could open an x-file on what happened to those $5.89.

“Oh, you know - things.”

“Very specific, Scully.”

“Just things in general,” she went on while stapling another few receipts on a form, “our work, all these expenses, you.”

“You wonder about me?” Mulder stopped sifting through the crumpled pieces of paper. He saw her head nod slowly.

“Do you know how many dry-cleaning bills we went through last month?”

“No,” he admitted, “I just handed those bills over to you.” Finally, she turned to him. She took off her glasses and he almost told her to leave them on.

“Twenty, Mulder.”

“Is that… a lot?” Scully sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“It is. Why do you think Skinner wanted us to do this? He wanted us, you actually, to see how much money we spend.”

“But it’s just money,” Mulder threw some of the receipts in the hair and they fell down on them like ugly confetti, “what does it matter?” Scully shook her head, smiling at him. He knew that particular smile well; her ‘Mulder-you’re-crazy’-look is one he got to see often. Oddly enough, he considered it a compliment.

“Come on, let’s finish this.” Just as Scully was about to turn around again, Mulder reached towards her. Carefully, he took a receipt out of her hair.

“Sorry.” He grinned sheepishly at her.

“Scully, if Skinner wanted to teach me the value of money,” Mulder pondered, “then why are you doing most of the work?”

“Because I’m better at it,” Scully answered simply, “and I don’t want to spend all of my weekend doing paperwork.”

“Oh Scully, what would I do without you?” He chuckled.

“Oh yes, what would you do if you’d never met me?” Scully joined in with amusement in her voice.

“Let’s just say I’m glad we’ll never have to find out.” He whispered into her soft hair, feeling her shiver as he put his hand gently on the nape of her neck for a moment. Maybe if they got this over with quickly and he behaved himself, maybe they could have some actual fun this weekend.

Election 2016 meets The Princess Bride

* Trump = Vizzini. Sleazy, bad hair, and convinced that he’s smarter than everyone around him. Losing the election? Inconcievable!

* Hillary = Inigo. Willing to work with whoever will have her until she’s able to achieve her final goal of defeating the vast right-wing conspiracy.

* President of the USA = Dread Pirate Roberts. Westley/Obama holds the office now, but will soon ride off into the sunset and leave it to Hillary/Inigo. Meanwhile the previous holder is living like a king in Texas.

* The American people = Buttercup. Can’t believe her life is in the hands of all these jokers.

* Bernie = Miracle Max. Didn’t want to help Hillary/Inigo at first, but now tells us to have fun storming the castle.

* Tim Kaine = Fezzik. Looks more like a proper Dread Pirate Roberts to some people. ?Quiere alguien un cacahuete?

* Mike Pence = Count Rugen. As a more traditional conservative, he’s the kind of person who’s been Hillary/Inigo’s nemesis for years. Also supports child abuse.

* Putin = Humperdinck. Hired Trump/Vizzini to do a job for him.

* Gary Johnson = Priest (“Mawwwiage …”). Forgot to have them say “I do,” which was kind of an Aleppo moment.

* Jill Stein = Old woman (“Boooo! Booo!”).

* “Deplorables” = R.O.U.S.es. Some people don’t believe they exist.

* “Bad hombres” = Screeching eels. A handy threat to make you think you need Trump/Vizzini, but we gotta keep them on the other side of the Cliffs of Insanity.

* This whole election = A battle “to the pain.”