cliff fall

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Tuliman Falls, Mexico

Injury angst for writing dummies.

Hospitals and injury are always such a staple of angst fics, but 9 times out of 10 the author has clearly never been in an emergency situation and the scenes always come off as over-dramatized and completely unbelievable. So here’s a crash course on hospital life and emergencies for people who want authenticity. By someone who spends 85% of her time in a hospital. 

Emergency Departments/Ambulances.

  • Lights and sirens are usually reserved for the actively dying. Unless the person is receiving CPR, having a prolonged seizure or has an obstructed airway, the ambulance is not going to have lights and sirens blaring. I have, however, seen an ambulance throw their lights on just so they can get back to the station faster once. Fuckers made me late for work.
  • Defibrillators don’t do that. You know, that. People don’t go flying off the bed when they get shocked. But we do scream “CLEAR!!” before we shock the patient. Makes it fun.
  • A broken limb, surprisingly, is not a high priority for emergency personnel. Not unless said break is open and displaced enough that blood isn’t reaching a limb. And usually when it’s that bad, the person will have other injuries to go with it.
  • Visitors are not generally allowed to visit a patient who is unstable. Not even family. It’s far more likely that the family will be stuck outside settling in for a good long wait until they get the bad news or the marginally better news. Unless it’s a child. But if you’re writing dying children in your fics for the angst factor, I question you sir. 
  • Unstable means ‘not quite actively dying, but getting there’. A broken limb, again, is not unstable. Someone who came off their motorbike at 40mph and threw themselves across the bitumen is. 
  • CPR is rarely successful if someone needs it outside of hospital. And it is hard fucking work. Unless someone nearby is certified in advanced life support, someone who needs CPR is probably halfway down the golden tunnel moving towards the light. 
  • Emergency personnel ask questions. A lot of questions. So many fucking questions. They don’t just take their next victim and rush off behind the big white doors into the unknown with just a vague ‘WHAT HAPPENED? SHE HIT HER HEAD?? DON’T WORRY SIR!!!’ They’re going to get the sir and ask him so many questions about what happened that he’s going to go cross eyed. And then he’s going to have to repeat it to the doctor. And then the ICU consultant. And the police probably. 
  • In a trauma situation (aka multiple injuries (aka car accident, motorbike accident, falling off a cliff, falling off a horse, having a piano land on their head idfk you get the idea)) there are a lot of people involved. A lot. I can’t be fucked to go through them all, but there’s at least four doctors, the paramedics, five or six nurses, radiographers, surgeons, ICU consultants, students, and any other specialities that might be needed (midwives, neonatal transport, critical retrieval teams etc etc etc). There ain’t gonna be room to breathe almost when it comes to keeping someone alive.
  • Emergency departments are a life of their own so you should probably do a bit of research into what might happen to your character if they present there with some kind of illness or injury before you go ahead and scribble it down.

Wards

  • Nurses run them. No seriously. The patient will see the doctor for five minutes in their day. The nurse will do the rest. Unless the patient codes.
  • There is never a defibrillator just sitting nearby if a patient codes. 
  • And we don’t defibrillate every single code. 
  • If the code does need a defibrillator, they need CPR.
  • And ICU. 
  • They shouldn’t be on a ward. 
  • There are other people who work there too. Physiotherapists will always see patients who need rehab after breaking a limb. Usually legs, because they need to be shown how to use crutches properly.
  • Wards are separated depending on what the patient’s needs are. Hospitals aren’t separated into ICU, ER and Ward. It’s usually orthopaedic, cardiac, neuro, paediatric, maternity, neonatal ICU, gen surg, short stay surg, geriatric, palliative…figure out where your patient is gonna be. The care they get is different depending on where they are.

ICU.

  • A patient is only in ICU if they’re at risk of active dying. I swear to god if I see one more broken limb going into ICU in a fic to rank up the angst factor I’m gonna shit. It doesn’t happen. Stop being lazy. 
  • Tubed patients can be awake. True story. They can communicate too. Usually by writing, since having a dirty great tube down the windpipe tends to impede ones ability to talk. 
  • The nursing care is 1:1 on an intubated patient. Awake or not, the nurse is not gonna leave that room. No, not even to give your stricken lover a chance to say goodbye in private. There is no privacy. Honestly, that nurse has probably seen it all before anyway. 
  • ICU isn’t just reserved for intubated patients either. Major surgeries sometimes go here post-op to get intensive care before they’re stepped down. And by major I mean like, grandpa joe is getting his bladder removed because it’s full of cancer. 
  • Palliative patients and patients who are terminal will not go to ICU. Not unless they became terminally ill after hitting ICU. Usually those ones are unexpected deaths. Someone suffering from a long, slow, gradually life draining illness will probably go to a general ward for end of life care. They don’t need the kind of intensive care an ICU provides because…well..they’re not going to get it??

Operations.

  • No one gets rushed to theatre for a broken limb. Please stop. They can wait for several days before they get surgery on it. 
  • Honestly? No one gets ‘rushed’ to theatre at all. Not unless they are, again, actively dying, and surgery is needed to stop them from actively dying. 
  • Except emergency caesarians. Them babies will always get priority over old mate with the broken hip. A kid stuck in a birth canal and at risk of death by pelvis is a tad more urgent than a gall stone. And the midwives will run. I’ve never seen anyone run as fast as a midwife with a labouring woman on the bed heading to theatres for an emergency caesar.
  • Surgery doesn’t take as long as you think it does. Repairing a broken limb? Two hours, maybe three tops. Including time spent in recovery. Burst appendix? Half an hour on the table max, maybe an hour in recovery. Caesarian? Forty minutes or so. Major surgeries (organs like kidneys, liver and heart transplants, and major bowel surgeries) take longer. 
  • You’re never going to see the theatre nurses. Ever. They’re like their own little community of fabled myth who get to come to work in their sweatpants and only deal with unconscious people. It’s the ward nurse who does the pick up and drop offs. 

Anyway there’s probably way, way more that I’m forgetting to add but this is getting too long to keep writing shit. The moral of the story is do some research so you don’t look like an idiot when you’re writing your characters getting injured or having to be in hospital. It’s not Greys Anatomy in the real world and the angst isn’t going to be any more intense just because you’re writing shit like it is. 

Peace up.

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Holy cow. 

evosia Northern lights above Haifoss waterfall in the Icelandic Highlands.

Ardyn: …I want you to say why my plan that’s taken me 2000 years of life of waiting for the Chosen has failed. Again. Slow.
Ravus: …
Ravus: The prince was posing for his blond friend nearby the lake.
Ardyn: Uh huh.
Ravus: …but the Catoblepas stepped on him.

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The enormous Kaieteur Falls, Guyana

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Helicopter view of Victoria Falls. Awesome

My Girlfriend's An Idiot

Request: I was wondering if you could do a Jasper imagine, from twilight, where he and the reader are fighting because she’s human and he doesn’t want her to get hurt, but she does the thing regardless and someone accidentally hurts her and Jasper’s alter ego comes out and almost attacks the person so reader has to calm him down and it’s just really cute and fluffy… Sorry this is long.

Warnings: swearing, fluff

Originally posted by sweetlambs

“You know, for someone who’s seen me naked, I’m a little uncomfortable at how much you try to act like you’re my father.” You snapped, walking through your house, gathering the stuff you’d need for your day trip.  

“Y/N, you know I’d never try to control you. I’m just … worried about having you over there. Where I can’t reach you.” Jasper followed behind you. 

You sighed. Jessica had invited you to La Push for the day, and Jasper had basically asserted that you were not going to go. He was bothered by the fact that he couldn’t go with you and protect you. And probably slightly bothered by the fact that you’d be hanging out with boys from school. Mostly, though, he worried about the Quileute pack making an appearance.

“Bella’s going too, you and Edward can suffer together.” You said, throwing sun screen and a towel into your tote bag. You felt yourself calming down, and turned around. “Can you please not do that?”  

Jasper’s lips twitched. “It’s a habit.” 

“Well quit it. I’m angry at you. Take it like a man.” You said, a hint of humor in your voice as you turned around, making your way to the bathroom and shutting the door behind you so that you could change into a bathing suit. He was still standing there when you came out. 

“They’re animals.” Jasper said. “And even worse, they’re teenage boys.” 

You heard the dryness in his voice but you could see the worry in his expression. He truly didn’t want you to go. 

“Mostly, though, they’re just teenage boys. And I can handle those.” You said, grabbing his hands. “Jess and Angela and Bella are gonna be there too, okay? And Mike and Eric.” 

Jasper rolled his eyes. “Mike and Eric couldn’t protect you from a pack of guinea pigs.”  You snorted, but softened when he wrapped his arms around you from behind. “They’ll be able to smell me on you. If you got hurt, I don’t know what I would do.” 

You turned to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your lips to his. “I’ll be careful.” You said, putting one hand on his cheek, fingers brushing over his sharp jawline. “I’ll text you. I’ll stay with people I know. But I’m going.” 

He sighed, his hands rubbing absently over your hips. “I suppose I can’t stop you.” He smirked. “I mean, I could.” 

“But you won’t.” You said smugly, turning to pack the rest of your things. 

“Because my girlfriend carries a surprising amount of wrath in her fragile, mortal body?” He asked, hands still on your hips. 

“Yes.” You say, shouldering you bag. “And because you love her and would never dream of restricting her freedom for your own selfish reasons.”  

“I’m so glad we’re on the same page.” He said sarcastically, leaning in to kiss your lips, and then your jaw, and down your throat, before he stiffened and Jessica’s car honked from the street. 

“Guess that’s my ride.” You said. 

He nodded, no longer trying to conceal the worry in his eyes. “I’ll text you.” You said, and he nodded again, stiffly. “And I love you.” You said softly, with a smile. 

He was unable to stop the smile that answered yours, “Yeah, yeah. Sure you do.” He said softly, which was his way of saying it back. 

You kissed him again when he walked you to the door before you jumped into the backseat of Jessica’s convertible, where Bella was already seated with Angela in the front. Jessica cranked up the music on the radio before the four of you sped off to meet up with Mike and Eric and head to La Push. 

You spent the first couple of hours tossing around in the waves. You wrestled Mike to the ground for slapping you with a piece of sea weed until he finally gave up fighting you and apologized. You crawled onto the beach exhausted with the girls and sat in the sand, under the cool grey sky. Though you could tell Jasper was desperately trying not to check in too much, you made sure he knew you were okay every hour or two. 

The boys suggested, once it became too cold to swim, that they all take a hike up to the cliffs. Everyone was fairly rested up after swimming and agreed, so you all shrugged your clothes back on and set off up the narrow mountain trail that led to the cliffs above La Push beach. 

“And people jump off of these for fun?” Jessica asked skeptically, trying to stare over the cliffs but not daring to come within five feet of the edge. 

“That make you nervous?” Mike made like he was going to push her and earned a shriek and a smart punch in the arm in return.  

“Any of you ever jumped before?” All of them turned to see a group of three boys emerging onto the cliff, clad in normal clothes but clearly very muscular, and all with dark hair cropped short and dark eyes. You’d never seen the wolves in person but you knew that these had to be some of them, ripped with muscle though the oldest one couldn’t have been more than twenty.  

“No way, man.” Eric said. “I’m Eric. This is Mike, that’s Jessica, Y/N, Bella, and Angela.” 

“Sam.” 

“Jared.” 

“Paul.” Each of the boys introduced themselves. You noticed them glancing at you, and you realized Jasper must have been right. They could smell him on you. They all shared a glance and you tried your best not to notice, staring at your phone. 

They’re here. You texted Jasper. 

His reply was almost immediate: I will come get you. 

Do not cross that treaty line. You sent back. Under any circumstances.

You ground your teeth, looking up briefly. 

“Y/N, we’re headed back down to start a campfire. You coming?” Angela asked, frowning briefly your troubled expression and glancing at your phone. 

“I’ll be down in a minute.”  You said, and they left you alone. You looked back down at your phone.  

Who’s being selfish now? Jasper asked.

For keeping you from starting a war? You challenged. 

For risking your life because you’re too stubborn to admit you might be in danger.  He shot back.  

You shook your head, eyes completely focused on your phone when suddenly the ground fell out from under you and you screamed. 

The edge of the cliff. You’d wandered too close to the edge of the cliff. You were falling, eyes closed, and then, with a painful jerk of your arm, you weren’t anymore. Someone had caught you. The one named Sam had grabbed your wrist. 

“Grab the ledge.” He said, voice straining with the effort of holding your dead weight. You did and slowly, he hauled you back onto the rocky outcropping. You collapsed on your back on the hard ground, breathing heavily, your arm draped over your eyes. 

“Nice … catch.” You said between breaths, still reeling, adrenaline coursing like acid through your veins. 

“No problem.” Sam said, sitting beside you. His chest still heaved but he was catching his breath a lot easier than you were. “For future reference though, maybe don’t text on the edge of a cliff.” 

You let out a laugh, loud with relief as it dawned on you that you very well could have been killed just now and somehow remained relatively unscathed. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.” You said, bringing your phone up to look at it before you realized it was not in your hand. 

“Oh no.” You said, rolling onto your stomach and leaning up to look over the cliff before slapping your hand over your face. “Shit, shit, shit!”  

You jumped to your feet and found yourself dizzy. Sam steadied you. 

“Take it easy, what’s wrong?” He asked. 

“My phone!” You pointed to the cliff. “I was talking to-” You cut yourself off, realizing who you were talking to now, and just shook your head. “Um … I need to get ahold of someone. Do you have a cell phone?”  

He shook his head, “Sorry. I’m sure one of your friends does, though. We can walk down and …” His voice trailed off as you thought. Jasper was panicking. You just knew it. If you told him the wolves were here and then didn’t text him back … the longer you waited increased the likelihood that he was on his way here. It left you with one option. 

You turned to face Sam. “I need you to drive me to the treaty line.”  

Sam didn’t seem all that surprised that you knew what that was, but crossed his arms and looked you over. “Why?” 

“You know who my boyfriend is, I know you can smell it on me.” You said. He tilted his head up and watched you. “I was texting him about you being here. If he knows I was with you and then I don’t text back, he’ll try to come get me.”  

Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “And start a war?” 

“If he thinks I’m in danger.” You said. “You’re the leader, right? Sam Uley?” He watched you, but didn’t say anything. “This doesn’t have to end in a fight. Not if you can get me there in time.” 

Sam seemed to look over you, trying to decide if you were telling the truth, before he shook his head. “Get on.” 

He took off his shirt and doubled over and before you knew it a black wolf the size of a grizzly bear was standing in front of you. Get on, he’d said.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” You mumbled, before struggling onto his back. He let out a small growl which you guessed was wolf for ‘hold on’ and then took off at a run.

You’d been running with Jasper before, and were quite surprised to find that the wolf was just as fast, if not faster. Trees flew by you in a blur of darkness now that the sun had set and before you knew it, you’d reached the treaty line. You rolled off his back and doubled over, hands on knees, stomach churning. Though he was just as fast, Sam was not nearly as graceful. He looked at you warily before something in the woods caught his attention and he crouched into a more defensive position.

“Jasper?” You called out, knowing that’s the only one it could be, but Sam’s head was darting around, his lips curling back over huge canine teeth. There was more than one. “Emmett? Alice? Ed?” You guessed. “I’m fine, no one’s trying to hurt me.”

You glanced at the ground for something, perhaps, that marked where the actual treaty line was, but there was nothing, so you just glanced back at Sam and moved about ten feet forward, hoping that would put you in Cullen territory.

Emmet and Edward appeared just ten feet away, eyes trained on the wolf. Jasper was already in front of you.

“You smell like one of them, are you hurt?” He asked, voice stricken with tension.

“No, I lost my phone and-” You tried but he interrupted you.

“What’s this?” Jasper held up your bruised wrist and ignited a similar pain in your shoulder from where Sam had hauled you back over the cliff. You sucked air through your teeth and jerked your hand away from him instinctively.

What happened next happened very quickly. Edward, reading Jasper’s thoughts, said something along the lines of ‘grab him’ and before you knew it Emmet and Jasper were struggling behind you, Jasper trying to get to Sam, Emmett pouring all of his strength into keeping Jasper behind the treaty line. Sam was crouched and snarling, not attacking first but ready should Jasper get to him. Edward realized that Emmett may not be enough to hold him and grabbed Jasper’s other shoulder as Jasper kicked and snarled, as if all he wanted was to cross the treaty line. Before you really knew what you were doing, you were standing in front of Jasper.

“Y/N he’s not in control right now, you need to move.” Edward said seriously. He was not as strong as Emmett and his grip on Jasper’s arm kept slipping. You didn’t listen.

“Jasper look at me. Not him, me.” You said evenly. He didn’t listen until your hand touched his face. When he looked at you, you could tell it was not entirely Jasper staring back at you. Not your Jasper, anyway. “He didn’t hurt me, okay? You have to believe me, he didn’t. I lost my phone. He brought me here because I knew you’d be looking for me.” You said, your nails scratching in the hairs at the base of his neck.

He was still struggling but it seemed as if he was struggling away from you now, afraid he’d hurt you when he was not in control.

“Look at me.” You said again, forcing him to focus only on you.

“It’s working.” Edward said, looking at you. “Keep going.”

You looked back to Jasper and smiled. “Baby I’m fine. No one hurt me.” You said, your hands on either side of his face. “Listen, I’ll explain everything. But I need you to calm down.”

Jasper glanced back at Sam, and you did too.

“Thank you, Sam. For everything. You can go.” You said. Sam watched you for a second before he seemed to decide to trust you, and turned, loping off into the woods.

“He didn’t hurt you?” Jasper asked, his voice still laced with fury, but it was clear he was back in control.

“You can let him go.” You said to Emmett and Jasper, taking a breath.

“He saved her life.” Edward said, having apparently read Sam’s thoughts, “Apparently you were the one who almost killed her.” His voice was thick with amusement.

Jasper’s eyes widened and he straightened up. “What?” He asked.

You laughed in spite of yourself. “I may have been arguing with you and walked off a cliff.”

Jasper just watched you. “What.”

You broke into a fit of giggles and put your uninjured arm around him. “Let’s just go home. I have to go buy a new cellphone tomorrow.”

“My girlfriend’s an idiot.” Jasper put his arm around you, clearly pissed but amused as well.

“You love her.” You said smugly. His arm tightened around your waist.

Last night I had a dream that maybe this is more than it is. We spoke about things that weren’t sending us to hell and I didn’t come round only when your parents weren’t home.

I think I’m falling in love and that is so fucking typical because I’m always falling off cliffs I should never be standing near in the first place and the first thing you said to me the first time you took everything was “don’t catch feelings”. But look, I’m catching feelings like you’d catch a cold and there’s no way back now. I’m already six feet under.

The only time you want me is when I’m giving myself up for you. So I loose myself every god damn day because it means I can have you for a little while at least. You have me. Don’t you see that? You can take anything you want. It’s yours it’s yours it’s yours.

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Helmcken Falls, British Columbia, Canada