When I click on a link for a recipe I do not wish to read five thousand words about your life and the lovely time you had at the farmer’s market and your childhood memories I just want the fucking recipe just give me the fucking recipe
For many decades, my father used to walk across town to do his food shopping on Second Avenue. He often shopped at a Gristede’s around the corner from Miss Hepburn’s town house on East 49th Street.
One day he suddenly came face to face with Miss Hepburn, who was also picking up groceries. He acknowledged her with a nod, and she responded in kind. He began thinking of her as a neighbor.
In 1983, my senior year at Bryn Mawr, Miss Hepburn’s alma mater, I was frustrated and was doing poorly, and at Christmas break, I decided to quit. I had the romantic notion of running away to Scotland to write screenplays. My father was frantic. My mother had died two years before, leaving him with all the responsibility for his headstrong daughter.
He knew that Miss Hepburn had gone through her own struggles at Bryn Mawr, so he wrote her a letter asking her to intervene. “She’s a great admirer of yours, and perhaps she’ll listen to you,” he wrote. On the way to the grocery store, he dropped the letter in her mail slot.
At 7:30 the next morning, the phone woke me up. I answered it and heard that famous voice, crackling with command. “Is this the young woman who wants to quit Bryn Mawr?” I said it was. “What a damn stupid thing to do!” she snapped. She went on to give me a lively lecture, the gist of which was that I had to finish my studies and get my degree, and after that I could do what I wanted to do. There was no arguing with her imperiousness. Then she said she wanted to meet us for tea.
The day of our appointment was gray and wintry. Walking the long blocks to Turtle Bay, my father and I didn’t speak much. It felt as if we were about to meet the Queen.
Miss Hepburn greeted us warmly. With casual hauteur, she provided us with tea and some of her famous brownies. Though she was in her 70’s, she had a youthful look, enhanced by her girlish clothes: a turtleneck, a black cardigan and shabby khaki-green pants.
We talked about many things, including Bryn Mawr. She said that she was miserable there and still had nightmares about it, but she was glad she went. At the end of the afternoon she told me, in a rather grim tone, “You’re smart.” It was a compliment, but also an admonition not to be foolish in the future.
My father was invited to visit her a few times after that. Once, he had heard that she was recovering from a serious car accident, and he stopped by to drop off a package of homemade brownies and a get-well note. To his surprise, he was ushered in and invited into her boudoir, where she greeted him in her nightgown. She sampled his brownies.
“Too much flour!” she declared. She then rattled off her own recipe, which he hastily wrote down. “And don’t overbake them! They should be moist, not cakey!”
I’ll always be grateful to Miss Hepburn for making me stick it out at Bryn Mawr and for giving me these rules to live by: 1. Never quit. 2. Be yourself. 3. Don’t put too much flour in your brownies.
Jin: “I think I have the recipe for that in my search history,” you exclaimed from the kitchen starting to prepare everything for a nice meal with your loved one. Jin brought the pc up on the counter and started to look through your search history. The first thing he noticed was not the recipe, but the name of a porn web side. He stood right up not willing to click at the link and looked you deep in the eyes with his eyebrow slightly raised. “What?” you said not sure of why he looked at you like that. “y/o, have you washed your hands properly?” He asked with a more serious tone than intended to but immediately started to smile teasingly. You looked a bit away and froze in the moment not sure of what to answer.
“Next time remember to delete your search history my love~” He said as he held your chin and pressed his lips gently against yours.
Suga: You were nowhere to be seen, only a half-closed lap top was laying on the bed with the sheets messed up. Out of curiosity Yoongi stepped closer and opened the pc fully not expecting anything big, but he was wrong. As the screen lightened up to his vison came a porn scene. He firstly didn’t react at all but after some seconds he closed the lap top and slowly walked to the bathroom knowing that he would find you there. His soft lips turned in to a smirk as he opened the door and some seconds after you felt his hands around your hips slowly making their way down to your crotch.
“Has my kitty had fun without me? ~” He whispers lustfully in to your ear making your whole-body shiver.
J-Hope: He managed to get out early from work this time just for you. As he saw that you were outside on the balcony the urge to go straight to you over took him, but then he noticed the lap top laying on the coffee table in front of the couch. The screen was a bit bowed down but it was clear that some weird motions were visible on it. He slowly opened it and revealed the full image. At first his cheeks heated up at the actions of the couple in the tape, but as he glanced over at you who stood only in his big hoodie and no pants, there was no other thoughts in his brain other that you fully naked on the bed. Your hope made his way to you and grabbed your hands roughly and gently pinned them against the wall in front of himself not wanting to hurt you pressing his lips lovingly against yours.
“Jagi, to day I’ll make you feel better than you could ever Imagen~” He said bot passionatly and lovingly wanting nothing else but you.
Rap Monster: “princess~” He shout from the couch with his cocky tone, and the smirk that got you weak each time, on his lips. You peeked out from behind the wall to the living room “yes? ~” You said unsure of why he called you princess so early in the day. “I think we have some new positions to try out~” He said teasingly as you noticed the screen of your lap top which had a couple who fucked on it, the screen from the last porn you watched. Your eyes widened and your cheeks heated up faster than ever, you had no words in your mind other than fuck.
“Now princess, why don’t you show daddy what you did with those sweet fingers of yours~” He said with his dominant tone
Jimin: His eyes were locked at the screen that was now playing a passionate sex scene. Jimins cheeks became red and the blush started to spread through the rest of his face. His lips turned in to a smile and not able to control it he started to laugh in embarrassment. Since you were in your bedroom calmly reading a book you didn’t notice it. Sonly you saw Jimin leaning against the door frame to the bedroom door with a smirk on. He gently bited down his lip and his hand made its way through his soft hair.
“Guess what I’ve just found babe~” He said with a teasing voice and crawled up on the bed beside ypu.
V: He happily opened your lap top as he was so ready to show you his new cover he’d just finished making. Instead of his beautiful voice the room filled with loud moans along with heavy breathing and whines, and all of that was from your computer. Teahuyung immediately closed the pc and emptily stared at you not sure of how to even react in such situation. But as he thought it through he stood up and sat down up on the counter in front of you.
“I hope you don’t watch videos like that too often? ~” He said looking you in the eyes.
Jungkook: Since you were taking a shower he decided to play some games, not bothered to take his own pc he simply took yours. Since he first had the opportunity to look through your things he put that to good use. The first thing he did was to of course look through your search history, and without failure he found what he was seeking for, the sweet link to the tape you’ve watched. “Ahhh~ Jagi~” He sighed laughing softly. Only some seconds after he stood behind you compleatly naked in the shower with his hands sliding over your back down to your ass.
“Want me to fuck you like in that porn you’ve just watched? ~” He said leaning in to Your ear.
Here’s the post I’ve been meaning to do for a while… HOW TO MAKE THE PERFECT AÇAÏ BOWL! There are lots of places where you can get Açai bowls now but there are only a few places (where I am in Sydney) that I think do really good ones. I like to make my own because I can adjust the smoothie base to my taste and also add whatever toppings I want! It’s more economical to make it at home it’s so easy to do as well so I would highly recommend giving it a try!
Earth To Table - Where I had my very first Açaï bowl. My favourite grawnola!
My creation - I always like to add a crunchy granola and nut butter 😍
My creation - Adding coconut yogurt is delicious!
Cocobliss - Perfect summer treat with mango and coconut yogurt.
My creation - Try adding homemade muesli on top.
Cocobliss - Use fruit as a topping for a fresh treat. Oh and some raw cacao sauce won’t hurt!
My creation - Cacao and peanut butter… All time favourite flavour combo on anything! 😀
My creation - One of my first homemade Açaï bowls with my greenola 🙂
My creation - Add a crunchy element in your topping e.g. granola, nuts and cacao nibs.
My creation - Banana, cacao and PB 👍
Yoga Bar - Strawberries work well as a topping!
Bare Naked Bowls - Try adding goji berries as a topping 🙀
My creation - Passionfruit helps offset some of the sweetness 🙌
My creation - One of my first homemade bowls… I think I added some raw brownie 🤗
My creation - A recent bowl with my Black Forest base (see below)!
My creation - Be generous with the toppings 🙃
My creation - Add raw slices/cakes to up your toppings game 👊
My creation - Probably my finest yet… One of my first creations when I got my new Vitamix blender… So creamy!
My creation - Same but different 😉
Bare Naked Bowls - Perfect summer treat ☀️
Vida Surf Shop - Officially my favourite place for Açai in Sydney!!!!! The base is spot on 👌
My creation - How cute is my pineapple bowl? 😄
Ohana Acai Bar - Tried this in Perth!
Cocobliss - Healthy and decadent treat 😍
I think the thing that determines the quality of an Açaï bowl is the texture. You need a base that is thick, creamy and full of flavour. Here are my five rules:
Make sure all the base ingredients are frozen. This will give the base the thick result you are after - a runny base is not nice.
Use a frozen Açaï sachet. This adds more substance to your base and again gives you a thicker result. You can use freeze-dried powder but this will not give it the same result.
Bananas should be the main fruit ingredient. Frozen bananas will give the base a creamy texture.
Blend with plant-based milk. I have found that most places will blend with coconut water or fruit juice - this results in a base that it is often sweeter (due to the natural sugars in the fruit) and more icy. I personally prefer a creamier base so my favourite liquid to add is soy milk but you can use any sort of plant-based milk. Also make sure you don’t add too much liquid - just enough for it to blend.
Buy a good blender. I use a Vitamix and it does an amazing job at blending all the frozen ingredients together quickly so it does not melt and the result is so smooth.
I also though I’d share one of my personal favourites. My ‘Black Forest Açaï Bowl’ (click on link) which I have featured a number of times. I like fewer ingredients in the base so this recipe is quite simple. It’s definitely my personal favourite Açai bowl recipe so I hope you enjoy it!
Black Forest Açaï Bowl
- A frozen banana
- ½ cup frozen cherries (you can also use berries but I think this gives the best flavour combination)
- 1 frozen Açaï sachet (I like to use the unsweetened kind)
- ~¼ cup soy milk
Put all ingredients into a high-power blender (I use a Vitamix). Blend on low with tamper and slowly increase speed until you get a smooth mix. Spoon into a bowl and serve with desired toppings.
So many colors, textures and flavours in this smoothie bowl 😍 I’m absolutely addicted 💕 See how I made it in my latest youtube video [ https://youtu.be/upE0YfuQ2cc 😉😉😉 ] and subscribe to my channel for more amazing recipes and healthy, wholesome content by clicking the link in my bio 🌸
It’s almost Valentine’s Day so I thought I would share with y'all one of my favourite beauty recipes - a moisturising lip scrub! This scrub is very similar to a scrub you will find at a very popular natural soap company - but at a fraction of the cost! Plus because I can’t give you all a present individually, I’m going to gift you some very cute Valentine’s Day stickers - perfect for decorating your scrub pots (just print them on sticker paper and go crazy!)
- 3tbs of castor sugar - 1 ½ tbs carrier oil - a few drops of flavour oil - food colouring
TOOLS: - mixing bowl - spoon - little tubs to hold your balm. These are 10g screw top jars found at the craft store.
A few notes: CARRIER OILS: Some good carrier oils to use for this project are: Sweet Almond Oil, Sunflower Oil, Olive Oil, Jojoba Oil or Macadamia Oil. It’s up to you and your budget - I love Sweet Almond Oil because it makes my lips silky smooth. Jojoba is used in a lot of beauty products but can be quite expensive, especially if you’re wanting to make this on the cheap!
FLAVOUR OILS: I bought my flavour oils from the local craft store because they have an excellent range - look in the cake making section! Alternatively you can look in the baking section of your grocery store. Alternatively, you can order flavour oils from places like Bramble Berry who have a huge range. If you’re going to colour your scrub, only use a very small amount of food colouring as you don’t want to stain your lips. I used a lip safe colour from a beauty & soap store. If you’re not sure, then you can leave it out to be on the safe side!
OK, on to the recipe!
Pour your sugar, oil, flavour oil and colouring (optional) in to your bowl.
Start stirring people! Please take note of my very cute spoon.
And… hey presto, you have a scrub! Yep, it’s that easy!
Spoon your scrub in to your little jars. I wrapped washi tape around mine and stuck some of my Valentine’s stickers on the top:
In order to serve the food while it’s all still hot, this requires a bit of multitasking.
Start off by making the pancake batter. Set it off to the side while making the hashbrown mixture. Once it’s ready, form it into patties and cook in a frying pan with oil, as instructed in the recipe. Hashbrowns take a little while to cook, but you can always turn the heat down to slow cook them and give yourself more time if need be.
Heat the grill for the pancakes. Once that’s ready, brush or spray with a bit of oil to prevent sticking, and then pour the batter on into the desired sizes for your pancakes. Be sure to check back and forth between the hashbrowns and the pancakes, flipping them when needed. Keep in mind that pancakes won’t take quite as long to cook.
Wait til either the batch of pancakes or the batch of hashbrowns are complete before doing the fried egg(s) (unless you’re better at multitasking than I am). Cook the egg(s) in a small frying pan, and then transfer everything to plates.
You can garnish with sliced fruit and serve with milk, juice, coffee, and/or tea. The game ingredients call for milk, so I served with that.
It’s very filling and satisfying. Instead of maple syrup, I used some rosehip and apple syrup that I bought from the farmer’s market.
I found a new website last night. A really weird and unsettling one. I came across it while googling “Homemade Dessert Recipes” and instinctively clicked on the link at the top of the results. My computer took a moment to load the home screen, but when it finally did, I blinked.
The home page had a black background. There wasn’t any text aside from a row of hyperlinks. Those hyperlinks were names of pies and cakes and other desserts, but none I had ever heard of before. “Burnt Black Cake”. “Popped Cherry and Egg Pie”. “Sweet Tooth Bites”. They went on and on. I eventually clicked on the link for “Popped Cherry and Egg Pie” after scrolling through them.
The website redirected me to a hi-res picture of a pie laying on a plate. It looked like a normal pie with a flaking crust and paste as red as cherries. Well, until I got a good long look at it. It took me a moment to register what I was seeing. But my stomach coiled when I did.
Something was sticking out of the side of the pie. Something bright pink. Something solid. A pinky toe. A severed pinky toe that was too little for an adult’s. A baby toe.
I tore my eyes away from the picture and instead, focused on the text that was beside it. The ingredients and the instructions for the recipe. And as I was reading it, I understood what the name had meant.
It has been a LONG day- teaching a 6 AM yoga class then a full day of cross country coaching (I have an amazing at home workout for you guys based on the core routine I made for my kids today!), and my first day of grad school- and I am exhausted. I’ll be back tomorrow with one of the best total body at home workouts I’ve pulled together in a while BUT if you’re looking for some healthy food inspiration tonight check out Minute Kitchen! These videos are my pride and joy haha! A new recipe is going up on Wednesday- completely dorm friendly (read: all you need is a microwave) lemony Mediterranean quinoa salad jars!
What’s Minute Kitchen you ask? My new series of 1-minute cooking videos teaching you (beautifully) how to make my favorite easy, healthy recipes! Click the links to check out the video! I’d love your feedback so I can keep improving them each week!
So ever since finding out I was lactose intolerant I’ve been trying to come up with a creamy pasta sauce that won’t give me horrible stomach cramps. I think I may have cracked it. I add balsamic vinegar to this as I like the acidity (it makes it taste lighter) but you don’t need it. If you’re a meat lover as well then by all means add bacon to this, and if you are lucky enough to be able to eat dairy without wanting to cry then go ahead and replace the vegan cheese with standard cheddar. Finally if you are a vegan please feel free to substitute the Parmesan with ¼ cup of almond milk to make it vegan but keep that creamy texture which is so often missed. I would also recommend using avocado pesto for this as it’s also creamy (there’s a click through link to my recipe for that down there (it’s so easy and very versatile, can be used for sandwiches, salads, pasta etc.). As always, enjoy and please do let me know if you do decide to make this as I love to hear about your cooking adventures!
Dreamy ‘Creamy’ Mushroom Spaghetti (without the Cream)
1. In a large pan add dry spaghetti to water and put on a high heat. As this begins to boil finely chop one garlic clove, ½ a white onion and two handfuls of mushrooms (I like to finely slice mine as they weave like ribbons between the pasta).
2. In a large frying pan add olive oil and fry your onions and garlic on a low heat for about three minutes. One they have softened add 1 large tbsp of pesto and a melty vegetable stock cube (or fresh vegetable stock if you have any lying around, i didn’t) to the pan and add your mushrooms. Give this a good stir.
3. Season the pesto mixture with salt and pepper and add 1 tbsp of balsamic vinegar (the smell here is intense). Add some parmesan and I added 1 cup of vegan ‘violife’ cheddar cheese here but normal cheddar will also work. Stir and keep on a low heat as the mushrooms shrink.
4. Drain off your cooked spaghetti (save ¼ cup of the boiled water and add to the pan). Add your spaghetti and give it a good stir
funny that you ask this, because this is actually kinda something i’ve talked about with reigningchampions before (though it’s half college au and half internet friends au)
(under the cut bc this got long as hell)
consider: daichi as a vlogger, doing cute little videos with tips and tricks to make dorm life suck slightly less, mostly just how to fix your furniture and not lose your shit over your roommates’ terrible habits and lots of easy quick meal recipes (since that’s basically all he knows how to do). he’s kinda awkward in front of the camera, especially in his first vlogs, but he’s got a great smile so once he warms up to the camera he ends up with a surprisingly good number of followers
kuroo is just a shitposting memer but in video form basically. mostly ridiculous retellings of his day/experiences (think olan rogers tbh) and the occasional prank or twelve, executed with (and sometimes upon) bokuto. he has a pretty dang decent following bc he’s terrible but his sense of humor is great (plus he’s a babe so that doesn’t hurt either yafeel)
This has nothing to do with school but you're the learning pro and MY LAST HOOOPE how the fuck do you learn how to cook and bake????
some tips: when u measure things with measuring cups, make sure to level off the stuff in ur cup. if you’re using recipes from an online source, make sure to read the comments/reviews on it to see if there should be anything changed or anything to watch out for.
Food Magic: Pagan Recipes for the Dark Half of the Year
And Amazon finally put it up. I did have to shift the title from Kitchen Witchery to Food Magic and apparently Amazon’s spell checker doesn’t know what a boline is…but that’s perfectly alright.
Thank you everyone, for everything. I dedicated this book to each and every single one of my followers. You have all been amazing. I also fixed it so that people in Japan, Brazil, Mexico, and Italy can now purchase my book as well.
The best way to find my book is to just copy and paste the title: Food Magic Pagan Recipes for the Dark Half of the Year into Amazon’s search bar. That will make sure that you get the right sight for your location. It also looks good for amazon’s search algorithm,
But if you are feeling super lazy click the link right here.
Hello, and welcome to the long awaited and severely procrastinated Season 2 of Lvl.1 Chef! We’re not pulling any punches today as we jump right into a crazy spicy dish inspired by the most popular pink protagonist in all of Popstar, Kirby! I hear his new game Planet Robobot is pretty awesome, so what better way to kick off the season than with a recipe for the iconic Superspicy Curry. Although it made its debut in Kirby’s Dream Land for the original Game Boy, it’s probably more well known from its Super Smash Bros. incarnation
a curious Lvl.1 Chef approaches and quickly regrets his decisions
I want to thank my friend and fellow Kirby fan Derek Rose for his help in the conceptualization of and inspiration for this recipe. We decided this dish should be a combination of extremely spicy Indian style curry and the more mild Japanese style curry as it’s shown in the artwork. To this end we will begin by making a sauce from some traditional (I use this term loosely) red curry paste ingredients. Speaking of ingredients, the dish gets its super spicy kick from the inclusion of dried ‘Ghost Peppers’ also known as Bhut Jolokia. And at over 400 times as hot as a jalapeño, they are considered to be among the top 5 spiciest chiles in the world and definitely helps this curry live up to its namesake! It may take some searching, but I was able to find ghost peppers in the dried chili section of a large local grocery store.
Just to clarify, when I say this recipe is super spicy, I mean it! Although it might not make you shoot fireballs out of your mouth*, please feel free to dial back the spice to suit your pallet. I’d rather have you make something that tastes good rather than something “accurate.” Always cook responsibly and try to avoid the following scenario:
*Lvl.1 Chef is not responsible for any fireball related damages
As usual, click the Keep Reading link below for the recipe and detailed procedures! Happy cooking everyone, it’s good to be back :].