clever companions


Requested Anonymously

The Doctor hadn’t imagined that you wearing a skirt would bother him so much. That’s not to say that he didn’t like it. He did like it. That was the problem - he liked it too much. It wasn’t even that short of a skirt, either. There wasn’t anything overly sexy or promiscuous about it. That, he would have been able to ignore. He had been ignoring flaunted sexuality all his lives (it never failed to make him uncomfortable), and it came easily to him at this point. But you weren’t flaunting anything. You were in a tasteful, flowing skirt that cut off right at the knee. It flared out a bit whenever you turned, giving just the slightest tease of your lower thigh, but there was no inappropriate exposure. None at all. It was perfectly perfect. But the Doctor was scared of it.

“Wait a minute. What are you dressed like that for?” he asked when you finally joined him in the console room. He immediately bit his tongue when he realized how he sounded, but… he really wanted to know why you were wearing that… thing. And heels. Oh, no, you were wearing heels. They weren’t especially tall and the wedge was hardly more than an inch, but this was more heel than he had ever seen you stand on.

You made a silly face at him in response, too accustomed to his non-ginger rudeness to be offended. “Is this alright for where we’re going? I’ll just change real quick if it’s not. I just never get to wear it.”

That’s right, you never got to wear it. (Forget the heels. Can’t run well in those, so they were out of the question.) The Doctor had never seen so much leg on you. You wore trousers, always, because you were smart enough to know that skirts were not for adventuring. Even in hot weather, though, you didn’t wear shorts. You just wore trousers with thinner material. Shorts were nice, but the idea of running through dense underbrush or stinging nettles or a bog with bare legs didn’t appeal to you, so you kept your legs safely covered. Until today.

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anonymous asked:

Could you do some prompts about a character scoring a date after dropping some pickup lines that are so bad, they're hilarious?

Here’re some absolutely horrible pick up lines (and a few that would actually work):

  • “Are you a Wi-Fi hotspot? ‘cause I’m feelin’ a connection, and you’re certainly smokin’.”
  • “I don’t exactly have a library card, but would you mind if I checked you out?”
  • “Hello, I’m ____. I thought we should at least introduce ourselves to one another before we got married.”
  • “Pardon me, but I’m looking for a clever and aesthetically pleasing companion to travel the country with me and kill people, would you happen to be available?”
  • “Did you know Michelangelo personally, or were you only in his work shop your carving session?”
  • “If you let me buy you a coffee, I can guarantee that it will be the most interesting cup of coffee you will ever have.”
  • “You have a knife on you? Well, you are definitely the type of person I’d want to get caught in the zombie apocalypse with.”
  • “Nice shirt. Let’s get naked.”
  • "I was trying to think of a pick up line on my way here but…. I got nothing.”
  • “I must be asleep because you look like a dream.”

Possible Results:

  • The flirter manages to impress the flirtee not with their joke, but their use of the conditional clause - evidently, proper grammar is very important to an English major.
  • The pick up line is so bad / offensive, the flirtee punches the flirter and knocks them out cold - the flirter wakes up in their apartment after being brought home by their friends and finds that their flirtee had written their number backwards in permanent marker across their forehead.
  • The flirter stutters over the line and the flirtee finishes it for them since they’ve heard the classic many times - and because they were about to say it themself.
  • The flirtee manages to crack a smile at the flirter’s attempt at a pick up line, not because they put it across incorrectly, but because it originated on their blog.
  • The flirter sees that the flirtee isn’t exactly interested only half way through the pick up line and decides to change course by being honest about why they were really there.
  • The flirtee isn’t a fan of pick up lines and tries to interrupt the flirter multiple times by blushing, offering them, peanuts, and other antics, but they eventually just kiss the flirter to make them stop embarrassing them.
  • The flirter is continuously interrupted by the flirtee’s phone as they try to bust out their pick up line. Eventually, the flirtee gets so annoyed with their phone that they plop it in their drink.
  • The pick up line takes a turn for the worse when it turns out that whatever the flirter said was true (a.k.a. the flirtee is actually an angel, a killer, a zombie apocalypse survivor, etc.).

A comiXologist Recommends:
Jonah Chuang recommends Saga #25

Saga continues down its dark path. Hazel’s been kidnapped by that disgruntled TV head while Alana and her mother in law are trapped helplessly in their crippled ship. Meanwhile, Gwen, the Brand, Sophie, and their devastatingly clever animal companions fight to save the Will on an alien world filled with crazy aliens. Then all the way off to the side of the universe (and on the cover), Marko, Prince Robot IV, Yuma, and Ghus (that adorable Seal guy that walks that giant walrus around?) scream disparaging remarks at each other while simultaneously reminding each other that they need each other.

This issue is a solid reminder of why Saga is so great. Aside from being just a good, well-constructed story, it’s also a title that’s defiant and takes risks, making comics fresh again for veteran readers. While it’s sometimes reminiscent of the adventures that the misfits from Star Wars go through, it’s not as clean and wholesome. It’s very much as if Star Wars grew up and realized that everyone’s been copying it for the last thirty years and the audience is bored of it. (Weirdly, that seems to be what’s happening with the actual Star Wars, too.) As I mentioned earlier, this issue sees the Freelancer gang go to an alien planet and deal with crazy aliens, but instead of fighting rancors, space slugs, sand people to rescue each other, the Saga gang is attacking giant komodo dragons to harvest some semen for the Will’s antidote.

Issue #25 also makes some pretty big statements about war, youth, and society’s attitudes about veterans that make the world of Saga hit a bit closer to home. If that’s not impressive or intriguing to you, just know that in this issue, the fun anthropomorphic animals move a little bit further into the foreground, too.


Jonah Chuang is a Production Coordinator Assistant at comiXology. He stays up late at night wondering how many midichlorians are knocking around inside him.

Guess who's gonna rant about ferret stuff THIS GIRL SO LISTEN UP

Fucking right so here’s some ferret shit

  • ferrets are NOT RODENTS they fucking EAT rodents they are OBLIGATE CARNIVORES
  • do not get a ferret if you haven’t done ample research and really put some fucking thought into it
  • there are so many ferrets in shelters and on classified sites because people think they’re like cats or hamsters and then they realize they’re high maintenance and rambunctious and need training so they fucking ABANDON THEM BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T FUCKING GOOGLE FERRETS BEFOREHAND
  • ferrets are prone to a lot of illnesses and medical conditions so fucking have some goddamn money saved to take care of them because you know what else? 99% of vets consider them fucking ‘exotic’ and will charge you out the ass just for routine checkups
  • speaking of vets DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH ((yeah more research fucking deal with it)) because a lot of vets are NOT QUALIFIED to treat ferrets even though they will look at them if you bring them in and will likely MISDIAGNOSE YOUR PET
  • DO NOT STUFF A FERRET INTO A RABBIT/HAMSTER/RODENT CAGE they need a LOT OF FUCKING SPACE because those precious little tricksters are curious and wanna explore so don’t you dare fucking put them in a tiny-ass cage
  • THEY WILL NOT SURVIVE IN THE WILD they might be weasels but they’re as likely to survive out there among wild animals as you are or maybe less if you’ve ever been camping once in your life
  • fucking FERRETPROOF YOUR HOUSE because they are smart as fuck and will find spaces in your house you didn’t know existed so fucking get on your stomach and crawl the fuck around because those wonderful mischievous shits can squeeze their tubby asses into any space their goddamn head fits through
  • this includes furniture with levers like your fucking la-z-boy and your shitty futon DID YOU FUCKING KNOW ferrets like to sleep in furniture and if you recline your la-z-boy YOU’LL FUCKING KILL WHATEVER’S SLEEPING INSIDE
  • be fucking GENTLE why doncha they may play rough with you and with each other and constantly fall off shit with no consquence but you are fucking strong and can fucking crush them

Ferrets are a big fucking deal and also some of the most loyal, entertaining, clever, lovable companions you could ever have the privilege to care for so fucking know your shit I swear to fuck

Hello! We’re adding members to our new network, Clever Companions. This will be a fun opportunity to make new friends, get advice on your blog, discuss the fabulous show called doctor who, and gain new followers! 


  • Must be following Megan Squared (claraschoice AND clahra)
  • Reblog this post; likes will not be counted
  • We’re looking at quality blogs with a fairly decent number of doctor who posts; this means nice theme, url, posts, etc. Don’t worry too much about this one though because one of the purposes of this group is to help to improve one anothers blogs!
  • Reblog until/throughout the first week of August
  • We’ll be accepting 8-10 members to start with, then will be adding many more once it’s completely up and running! (about 1 week after the first wave)

IF ACCEPTED: you will need to be willing to give out your email address so we can add you to the page!

Thanks to all who apply; you’re fantastic!

New members will be chosen every 2-3 weeks.