clever companions

2

Requested Anonymously


The Doctor hadn’t imagined that you wearing a skirt would bother him so much. That’s not to say that he didn’t like it. He did like it. That was the problem - he liked it too much. It wasn’t even that short of a skirt, either. There wasn’t anything overly sexy or promiscuous about it. That, he would have been able to ignore. He had been ignoring flaunted sexuality all his lives (it never failed to make him uncomfortable), and it came easily to him at this point. But you weren’t flaunting anything. You were in a tasteful, flowing skirt that cut off right at the knee. It flared out a bit whenever you turned, giving just the slightest tease of your lower thigh, but there was no inappropriate exposure. None at all. It was perfectly perfect. But the Doctor was scared of it.

“Wait a minute. What are you dressed like that for?” he asked when you finally joined him in the console room. He immediately bit his tongue when he realized how he sounded, but… he really wanted to know why you were wearing that… thing. And heels. Oh, no, you were wearing heels. They weren’t especially tall and the wedge was hardly more than an inch, but this was more heel than he had ever seen you stand on.

You made a silly face at him in response, too accustomed to his non-ginger rudeness to be offended. “Is this alright for where we’re going? I’ll just change real quick if it’s not. I just never get to wear it.”

That’s right, you never got to wear it. (Forget the heels. Can’t run well in those, so they were out of the question.) The Doctor had never seen so much leg on you. You wore trousers, always, because you were smart enough to know that skirts were not for adventuring. Even in hot weather, though, you didn’t wear shorts. You just wore trousers with thinner material. Shorts were nice, but the idea of running through dense underbrush or stinging nettles or a bog with bare legs didn’t appeal to you, so you kept your legs safely covered. Until today.

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anonymous asked:

Could you do some prompts about a character scoring a date after dropping some pickup lines that are so bad, they're hilarious?

Here’re some absolutely horrible pick up lines (and a few that would actually work):

  • “Are you a Wi-Fi hotspot? ‘cause I’m feelin’ a connection, and you’re certainly smokin’.”
  • “I don’t exactly have a library card, but would you mind if I checked you out?”
  • “Hello, I’m ____. I thought we should at least introduce ourselves to one another before we got married.”
  • “Pardon me, but I’m looking for a clever and aesthetically pleasing companion to travel the country with me and kill people, would you happen to be available?”
  • “Did you know Michelangelo personally, or were you only in his work shop your carving session?”
  • “If you let me buy you a coffee, I can guarantee that it will be the most interesting cup of coffee you will ever have.”
  • “You have a knife on you? Well, you are definitely the type of person I’d want to get caught in the zombie apocalypse with.”
  • “Nice shirt. Let’s get naked.”
  • "I was trying to think of a pick up line on my way here but…. I got nothing.”
  • “I must be asleep because you look like a dream.”

Possible Results:

  • The flirter manages to impress the flirtee not with their joke, but their use of the conditional clause - evidently, proper grammar is very important to an English major.
  • The pick up line is so bad / offensive, the flirtee punches the flirter and knocks them out cold - the flirter wakes up in their apartment after being brought home by their friends and finds that their flirtee had written their number backwards in permanent marker across their forehead.
  • The flirter stutters over the line and the flirtee finishes it for them since they’ve heard the classic many times - and because they were about to say it themself.
  • The flirtee manages to crack a smile at the flirter’s attempt at a pick up line, not because they put it across incorrectly, but because it originated on their blog.
  • The flirter sees that the flirtee isn’t exactly interested only half way through the pick up line and decides to change course by being honest about why they were really there.
  • The flirtee isn’t a fan of pick up lines and tries to interrupt the flirter multiple times by blushing, offering them, peanuts, and other antics, but they eventually just kiss the flirter to make them stop embarrassing them.
  • The flirter is continuously interrupted by the flirtee’s phone as they try to bust out their pick up line. Eventually, the flirtee gets so annoyed with their phone that they plop it in their drink.
  • The pick up line takes a turn for the worse when it turns out that whatever the flirter said was true (a.k.a. the flirtee is actually an angel, a killer, a zombie apocalypse survivor, etc.).

A comiXologist Recommends:
Jonah Chuang recommends Saga #25

Saga continues down its dark path. Hazel’s been kidnapped by that disgruntled TV head while Alana and her mother in law are trapped helplessly in their crippled ship. Meanwhile, Gwen, the Brand, Sophie, and their devastatingly clever animal companions fight to save the Will on an alien world filled with crazy aliens. Then all the way off to the side of the universe (and on the cover), Marko, Prince Robot IV, Yuma, and Ghus (that adorable Seal guy that walks that giant walrus around?) scream disparaging remarks at each other while simultaneously reminding each other that they need each other.

This issue is a solid reminder of why Saga is so great. Aside from being just a good, well-constructed story, it’s also a title that’s defiant and takes risks, making comics fresh again for veteran readers. While it’s sometimes reminiscent of the adventures that the misfits from Star Wars go through, it’s not as clean and wholesome. It’s very much as if Star Wars grew up and realized that everyone’s been copying it for the last thirty years and the audience is bored of it. (Weirdly, that seems to be what’s happening with the actual Star Wars, too.) As I mentioned earlier, this issue sees the Freelancer gang go to an alien planet and deal with crazy aliens, but instead of fighting rancors, space slugs, sand people to rescue each other, the Saga gang is attacking giant komodo dragons to harvest some semen for the Will’s antidote.

Issue #25 also makes some pretty big statements about war, youth, and society’s attitudes about veterans that make the world of Saga hit a bit closer to home. If that’s not impressive or intriguing to you, just know that in this issue, the fun anthropomorphic animals move a little bit further into the foreground, too.

[READ SAGA #25 ON COMIXOLOGY]

Jonah Chuang is a Production Coordinator Assistant at comiXology. He stays up late at night wondering how many midichlorians are knocking around inside him.

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This Must Be the Place

@tiktiktikboom

Ples ticked and shoved his hands in his pockets, pacing along the sidewalk, completely and utterly lost in his own meandering thoughts. He probably should have at least looked in a mirror before he left for Avery’s house. Just thinking about how he might look made him want to fumble with his two-toned hair, but he knew that its natural texture left the strands permanently mussed unless he, you know, tried or something.  He tried to smooth the wrinkles in his waistcoat and shirt to no avail.

It was hard to put into words what was bothering him so much. He had forgotten quite a lot, wasted more time, and woke up (for the second time in his miserable life) with no connection to the life or world he was once familiar with. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but the core held true. He just didn’t know how his context could be placed into this one. And he was worried that this time he may be well and truly too old to adapt. Another big part of the problem was…well, he was two people, wasn’t he? Maybe not even a person, but two automatons. He was hesitant to say that Tiben liked being alive, but he was certainly more interested in reality than Ples was.

Ples just wanted to wash away somehow. That would be nice, maybe – to just rust, fall into disrepair, let nature reclaim the house. The thought recalled Griff to his mind. Poor creature, to be left with a big mansion full of oatmeal and tea and nothing else.

Morris County was lovely, at least. It would turn well and truly cold soon, and Ples would not notice, were it not for his neck and face. He wandered aimlessly, not quite ready to return to the house; it already had quite a lot of his mental burdens.

Not many people were out – now was a good time to be getting cozy with a good movie. But the ticking man walked into a local park, content to pace around in circles where no one was watching. Why walk laps when this could save time and accomplish roughly the same purpose?


During the evening hours, children were tucked away into their beds, retired to their homes for the night after a long day of school and merry-making. The Morris County park was normally empty of any frolicking boys and girls during this hour. But the old man in the woods was not walking in an empty public park like he preferred, as a matter of fact, his presence had attracted a most curious duo whose playtime had been interrupted when hearing a most peculiar sound. The sound of a ticking clock, but a tad louder than that of a pocket watch.

‘Do grownups usually tick-tock, Little Prince?’ the faded spirit of a vulpine-like creature whispered to the child who didn’t have the ears of a clever creature like his companion.

“Do what?” the boy sat up when noticing his friend’s sudden alertness.

The vulpine looked back over to the Prince and leaned his head forward to re-emphasize,‘Ticking grownups.’ To which the boy’s un-lined brow furrowed, he hadn’t heard of such a thing, the Fox must be confused,”they have these pocket-watches, you know. Grownups don’t like to be late for things, so they carry a little watch to keep their time,” he informed.

It didn’t make much sense to the creature, they both lived in a timeless existence where the sun brought light and their bodies told them to sleep. This was, however, a curious case for the boy to investigate, for even he thought all the people had gone home for the night, leaving him and the animals to themselves. 

Decidedly, the small boy rose to his feet and sneaked off to the park trails where he knew if anyone was taking a walk, they would be along the path. The Fox followed subtly behind, but he kept a distance; he did not care for people or being social despite his living status, but he was close enough for if the Prince was in trouble, he could help. 

The Little Prince caught sight of a disheveled looking old man, probably going for an evening walk after a stressful day.’He does not look all bad,’ the Prince thought to himself,’but I think he is troubled.’ Briefly, he turned to wave at the Fox, signaling that he should stay back and allow him to aid the poor man. Being mindful not to just suddenly jump out at the man, he followed from behind with his hands folded behind his back. After walking a distance and having a reasonable space between them, he gently called out–

“Why are you walking alone, sir?”