cleric: -wearing shitty heavy armour- oh that looks like a nasty lil wound dearie let me patch it up for you -their gods sing as they cast cure light wounds-

sorcerer: -wearing light but stylish armour- fuck you -spins around casting magic missile- -it looks rly cool bc of their high charisma-



i was playing a cleric at this time and we were fighting a dragon that had been beating us pretty badly and had already killed two of our players and i had the resurrection spell going while our other three players ( a dragon born fighter, an elf ranger, and a drow witch *the DM let him use a homebrew*) the fight had been long and hard but they managed to defeat the dragon before i had resurrect completed. 

elf ranger- whew now that thats over go ahead (cleric) and resurrect our friends

me- i cast resurrect on the dragon

at this point everyone but the DM goes nuts because i have been working on this in secret with my DM for awhile that my cleric was actually lying about their alignment and god and was waiting for the right moment to betray the party and it would go into a long quest to destroy me for revenge. 

DM- the dragon is revived

i let out an evil chuckle as i strut out of the dragon’s castle. “may the god’s give their blessings unto you” i say as the dragon attacks the party.

the dragon kills the entire party and then the DM brings in an npc to save them and revive them and initiates the revenge quest. but that is a story for another day. 


Chow in the morning.


My cleric half-elf dnd character, Roux Estaire.  ╰(・∇・╰)

Roux is a follower of the Church of Gallus, a religion that recognizes chickens as our rightful Gods and Masters. She’s a traveling acolyte on a pilgrimage to spread her faith.

Healer is OP

Context: It is my first campaign and it is a bit on the larger side. During character creation I decided to go the Healer class instead of Cleric like so many suggested I should. But it seemed relatively easy for me to get a hold of. We are on our way back to the two to tell our quest giver about what we found at a dungeon and are returning with the spoils and we are ambushed by a group of orc slavers.

DM: The monk runs forward to attack the sorcerer head on.

Me OOC: That goes past my square. That means I get an attack of opportunity right?

DM: Yeah, got your weapon out?

Me OOC: When we started combat yeah.

DM: Go ahead and roll

*rolls nat 20*

The entire group starts laughing and shouting.

DM: Alright… confirm crit?

*rolls a nat 20*

Group is giggling at this point and I’m just not sure what is going on.

DM: Confirm… again.

*rolls a nat 20*

DM: You killed the strongest one in the party. Your character turned to see the monk go past you and the end of your spear catches him, cutting off his head. The rest of the group is no zoned in on you, not sure what you are and ready to attack you.

I go through my list of spells, intent on not letting myself die this round. The rest of the turns start to go. Finally my turn comes up.

Me: Sanctuary.

DM: And that does?

Me: Um… unless they get in close range they can’t attack me without a save?

DM: -looks over the spell and explains it to me-

Sure enough, I cast sanctuary and as the sorcerers and the rest were coming towards me, the party picked off the enemy and we won the battle all because of an accident.