clergy jokes

provost willem, in a high pitched voice: I SAW YOU CREATING A BLOOD BASED CHURCH

laurence, surrounded by abominations, fire, and turning into a cleric beast: wILLEM, ITS NOT WHAT U THINK

Willem, pulling out a flamesprayer: I WON’T HESITATE,, BITCH,

True Story - A Rabbi, a Priest and a Baptist Minister walk into a Starbucks

So true story…This morning while waiting in line for my coffee I found myself standing behind a rabbi, a priest and a Baptist minister. They were joking and needling each other in that weird frat boy camaraderie that binds together people of disparate experiences and backgrounds seemingly unaware that they were a grand cosmic punch line waiting to be delivered.

“Please tell me you are not all going to drive off in the same car together,” I pleaded, “Or take a boat ride or get on a plane together.”

They looked at me is if I had lost my mind.

“Excuse me?” the priest responded. “Can I help you my son?”

“C’mon, you’ve all heard the jokes?” Blank stares all around. The Baptist minister was eyeing me suspiciously, as Baptists tend to do. Probably sizing me up to see if he could determine whether I was one of Calvin’s predestined for salvation. “

A rabbi, a priest and a minister all walk into a bar…nothing?”


These men were all about my age, mid forties. The rabbi had a little of that silver fox thing happening along the temples. He might have been a little older. Nonetheless how did they get through seminary without hearing all the jokes about rabbis, priests and ministers?  Crack open the bible and you see plenty of evidence that this is the type of delicious irony that creator seems to relish.

I hope that they made it safely to wherever they were going. If I wasn’t an atheist I would pray for them. Perhaps, I’ll hedge my bets and pray anyway. I am not praying for me…it’s for god’s dutiful soldiers who have left the relative safety of my local Starbucks. Surely he would hear the prayers for them even if they are uttered by an unreconciled reprobate such as me?