A few (yes, unfortunately, more than one) “WHAT NOT TO WEAR AFTER 30″ lists made it onto my FB feed and made me very agitated, and I guess the way I had to work it out of my system was to draw my own 30+ y.o. girls wearing some of the things on the lists. Wear all the shiny pants, graphic tees, mini dresses, and leopard print that you want, I don’t care what year you were born in, and no one else with any relevancy to you will care, either!!

the signs as things said at my last sleepover
  • Aries:Maybe your phone came unplugged when I beat you over the head with it
  • Taurus:I ate like 13 baguettes in one day once
  • Gemini:I'll wake your mom up. You will see hell.
  • Cancer:I'm so kind to you and this is how you repay me??
  • Leo:PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME
  • Virgo:You're all going straight to hell
  • Libra:I really don't want anyone to get killed
  • Scorpio:There's probably a dead body behind that wall
  • Sagittarius:I'm allergic to your bitchiness
  • Capricorn:Guys I'm just trying to live my life and you're all getting in my way
  • Aquarius:Wait am I supposed to be caring about this
  • Pisces:Oh shit when did it become 2:00 am