cleats

So I work in a small soccer store located next to a recreational marijuana store and this just happened:

I’m helping a family decide on cleats for their 6 year old when a man walks in. Now this was not an ordinary man. No in fact I would categorize him as very out of the ordinary. Now we’ll just call this man Rasta Steve on account of everything he was wearing being a Rastafarian pattern and for the fact that he had the longest, darkest dreadlocks I had ever seen… Which was an interesting choice when contrasted to his pale almost sheet white skin. Now Rasta Steve is clearly high when he stumbles in and I know this not only because he reeked of weed, but by the fact that he is carrying the BIGGEST BONG I HAVE EVER SEEN! Not only was this a dead give away to his current state of mind, but this motherfucker still had weed burning in the bowl. Now that the scene is set, what happened next was something I’ll never forget. So he stumbles in, bong still emitting ganj smoke, while the family and I just stare in awe at what we’re seeing. Without looking around he walks up to the counter and I shit you not says,

“Ayyy brotha man, great day out right? Can you give me an ounce of Alaskan Thunderfuck?”

At this point it suddenly dawns on me that, holy shit he’s so high he thinks he’s in the pot shop.
Before I can answer though he notices the shocked family that is staring at him and says,

“Woahh you can let kids in here now? I’m all about the good healing herb, but that’s a little irresponsible isn’t it man?”

He then looks at the 6 year old boy who seems like he doesn’t know what to make of this man and says,

“Stay in school lil bro. Homework now, weed can wait.”

After this exchange we can suddenly see something dawn on Rasta Steve’s face. The realization that, no this is not an establishment to buy marijuana, but in fact a family soccer store. He then yells,

“Oh goddammit? Again? Are you serious Steve?!”

Then with a sudden burst of speed that no one expected he did a quick U-turn, spilled some bong water on the carpet and rushed out the door. And as quickly as he’d stumbled into my life, he was gone. Now I’m not sure if that was just a random guy who was stoned out of his mind or if it was an angel, but one thing’s for sure I’ll never forget Rasta Steve.

2

“U.S. goalkeeper Hope Solo was wearing two different soccer cleats at training today. She’s not doing it for the same reason as Natasha Kai, who wears two different color shoes because, well, she’s Natasha Kai. Solo is trying to decide which ones to wear in the matches. Should it be the Nike Legends (left) or the Nike Total 90 Lasers (right)? Hmmm….” x (2008)