clearly not human

anonymous asked:

WWVD if they were vampires? I'm sorry if that one's weird ^^;

N: That one bourgeois vampire that throws lavish parties for his supernatural counterparts and puts on a grand entrance as he walks down the stairs announcing his presence. He does not hide his face with his cape for he wants you to see the light shine directly on those beloved canines of his. His cape will be recently dry cleaned and underneath would be a white, ruffled long-sleeved shirt with suspenders. His wait staff is comprised of compelled humans clearly not on vervain, yet he doesn’t harm them or let others harm them. He wears a fancy day ring to protect him from burning in the sun and has several backups just in case he loses one. If you end up falling in love with Count N, he will never turn you even if you beg because although he drinks peoples’ blood for a living, he wouldn’t wish this lifestyle on anyone else. “I have arrived! Oh, Dracula…I didn’t invite you, but you’re here so I guess you can stay. But excuse me, it looks like Count Orlok is trying to eat my wait staff.”

Originally posted by shit-vixx-say

Leo: That one vampire to actually live in a desolate location and not within a community infested with humans. He’s also the one to be embroiled in rumors that he eats small children and throws adults over cliffs after he yanks out their organs. And because of that, when those weak ass teenagers show up because they wanted to “test the rumors”, he makes them shit themselves further increasing his already horrid reputation. But then of course, you his love interest, bumps into him at the grocery store buying wood glue for his coffin and a book on how to skin a pig. Turns out he wears normal clothes all day every day, is really sweet, and despite his cold heart he actually wants kids someday. He only kills those who try to stab him with a stake every now and then. Now, Count Leo won’t turn you into a vampire, but if you begged to be with him forever he’d briefly consider it. He has a problem with breaking your neck. “Ignore those sounds you hear coming from my basement. Those damn vampire hunters…Tea?”

Originally posted by t-ouma

Ken: The vampire that sings every chance he gets. When he’s about to suck blood he sings, about to drink alcohol he sings, about to kill a vampire hunter he sings, about to fly or jump or whatever he does to move around he sings. It’s like he’s in his own vampire musical because it’s the only way he’s been able to survive all these hundreds of years. Picture it. He’s in his fancy suit and tie strolling down the street jumping from lamp post to lamp post because he senses trouble ahead. A low and behold he turns the corner and sees a nasty human littering. He’ll jump in front of them, do a little dance, hit the highest not he can, and then suck that person’s blood before compelling them to be a upstanding citizen. Next thing you know he has another musical hit entitled, “My coffin is cleaner.” Now if you happen to fall in love with Count Ken…well, prepared to be serenaded, too. And if you can’t sing, well you have a whole lifetime to get good at it. “I see you! You can’t ruuunnnn! You can’t hideeeee. *does a somersault* All that litter at your side.”

Originally posted by royaltampaacadofdramatictricks

Ravi: You’d hardly see this bitch ass vampire. He’d spend most of his time in his coffin barely coming out unless necessary. Why? Well he’s got vamp-wifi, access to all available vamp-channels, a bloodspresso machine, y'know his vamp cave…well coffin is fully stocked. It’s like a bunker that’s located way deep down in a crypt, with all the necessities. Plus all he really wants to do is sleep. He is old! And the only reason he has all that shit is because he compelled his female neighbor next door to let him lay down a wire that steals her cable. At the end of the day, Count Ravi likes to stay to himself; however, if you mess with him then he’ll mess with you. He only seeks companionship every 100 years allowing the genetic pools to reconfigure themselves. Now if you happen to fall in love with him well, he’ll just have to get a bigger coffin and steal more electricity to power it up. “I wish they would stop making movies about vampires. I don’t sparkle! The only part they ever get right is that we’re handsome.”

Originally posted by wood-storm

HongBin: The one vampire…that was turned accidentally because someone was trying to save his life. And like all new vampires he can’t get his shit together. He still wants to immerse himself within the general population because he still wants to find love. But it’s hard because he wants to eat every damn body and the urges are crazy. So he clearly doesn’t understand the term low-profile and that’s evident when he invites you to his house one evening. You literally drop everything because this bitch ass nugu vampire is hanging from the damn ceiling talking about “Welcome,” in that low voice of his, outstretching his arms like that’s supposed to make you feel more welcomed. LIKE WHAT HE’S DOING IS NORMAL. And when you run in terror he’ll cry his vampire eyes out and drink himself crazy. And then now he has to go out and locate you and compel you to forget and then that will only happen if you haven’t already consumed vervain at this point. LAWD. Now once Count HongBin gets used to the whole vampire thing and if he falls in love, then he’ll turn you if you asked because he doesn’t want to be forever alone. “I thought that if I just told the truth about me you’d understand. I’m a monster! A handsome, undead monster!”

Originally posted by k-ws

Hyuk: The pimp of all vampires. He’s got hoes in different area codes. A combination of vampires, humans, witches, sirens. Bitches came up out the water just to be with him. But you see, when he’s not sleeping in his mansion in his king sized bed, fooling around with his supernatural counterparts, he’s out on the streets acting as a vampire vigilante knocking out the worst of the worst. He loves immersing himself within the human population, hanging out at bars, going to restaurants to watch sports, he’s just that guy. And he’s also the guy the local police have been trying to track down for years because of all the random dead bodies lying in the streets that are adorned with ritualistic tattoos that history books claim to signify vampire hunters. Now, Count Hyuk is the type to turn you if you asked him to without hesitation, but he’ll most likely end up with another supernatural creature, turning them into a hybrid of sorts. “No sheriff, I’m just as concerned as every one else. We have a monster in our midst and they must be stopped!”

Originally posted by vixxmyheart

Don’t know what happened here lol. But thanks for asking!
-Admin Cheezy ^_^

–>An Unexpected Casualty<–

Space Australian Medicine

Despite the best efforts of everyone involved, something truly nasty escaped Earth. They call it giardia, a microscopic organism that their Planetary Protection Officer called “pretty dumb” and “not too bad, really, a week of digestive upset and then it’s over.”

Yes, Earth has a Planetary Protection Officer. They have a Planetary Protection Office, and have had one since they were sending probes around their own solar system. Doctor Ma-et had found it a bit silly, like a child concerned about the cleanliness of their toys, until she learned that the job of the Planetary Protection Office had always been protecting other worlds from Earth.

Keep reading

Okay,,, but think about aliens finding put about how babies are made. Like us humans feed them the stereotypical ‘stork delivers it’ as jokes but they actually belive us. Then a mated human on one of the ships belly starts growing and the aliens are super confused because their technology isn’t built to detect life inside of other life forms and the aliens start stressing. Like 'Human Frankie! You vomited this morning you clearly need rest’ and the human is just like 'Nah it’s morning sickness I can still work hand me a tool’. And it keeps going on like this until the girl has a big belly and the aliens are just like 'omg omg omg our human is dYING’. Until 9 months in and the girl starts actually having contractions. One human calmly start telling the girl to take deep breath while others start prepping the medical room. Hours later a baby is on board and the aliens freak out like 'THE HATCHLING WAS ALIVE WHEN IT CAME’ and 'IT CAME OUT OF WHAT?! And just,,,

anonymous asked:

Aliens reacting to someone with braces? Thanks!

The human problem was growing bigger at an alarming pace. Back when they first started travelling through space, most had viewed their efforts as cute. Some had even cheered them on from afar. Of course, that was before they realised what kind of creatures humans really are and what kind of planet they originate on. Before they knew what humans did for fun.

The humans as a whole hadn’t attacked yet, but it was only a matter of time before they gathered their forces. The Ktynarian species had to be prepared.

As a result, they had commandeered a human craft, and with eight Ktynarians to every human, they’d managed to gain control of the vessel and the horrible creatures within.

Unfortunately it was common knowledge that getting a fully grown human to talk was a near impossible feat. Fortunately, there were several younglings on the ship. The majority were younglings actually, which was a surprise. Upon further investigation it was revealed the ship was operated by a training facility of the category ‘school’.

After separating the humans into smaller groups to minimise the risks of organised resistance, Commander Yldrik picked one of the medium sized younglings to interrogate – having heard that the bigger posed a threat in size, but that the smallest were often quick and nimble

Yes, the medium sized one were surely the easiest to make a first attempt on. And if that failed, they still had a plethora of other humans to interrogate. One of them would surely give them some useful information.

Some of the humans were secreting some sort of fluid from their optical organs, some making noises the Ktynarians couldn’t identify, but instructing them to be quiet seemed to just make them more intent on making the noises. Deciding it would be best to leave xir soldiers to deal with it, Commander Yldrik turned xir focus to the youngling xe had selected.

“What is your objective,” xe asked. Getting straight to the point had seemed like the best method, but the human didn’t seem to comprehend.

“What?”

“What is your objective? What are you here to accomplish?” xe repeated, seemingly surprising the human. Perhaps they hadn’t expected to be confronted, or for the Ktynarians to be suspicious of them. Clearly the humans had underestimated them.

“Well, I mean, a B would be great, but I’d settle for a C too,” the human responded, something in their mouth gleaming slightly. Under different circumstances Yldrik would have paid it more attention, but xe was preoccupied deciphering what the human had said.

A bee was a creature from the humans’ home planet, and apparently vital to their ecosystem. A sea however, was a large body of a particular kind of water, and their planet seemed to be largely consisting of it. Why would they possibly want more of it?

“Why?”

“It’s not my best subject,” they said, elevating an upper part of their anatomy. Yldrik knew xe had been informed of the meaning behind the movement, but xe had finally noticed something different about the human’s teeth. Something worrying.

“Bare your teeth.” The human seemed surprised by the order, but complied after a brief hesitation.

The sight that met xem was terrifying, even for someone with as much experience as Yldrik.

“W-what are those?”

The human looked perplexed at first, but seemed to understand what xe was referring to fairly quickly.

“You mean my braces?” the human asked before baring their teeth further. A grin. At least that was what xe thought the action was named by the humans. “It’s just metal. You see, my mouth had too many teeth in it, so they got a bit out of order. Crooked and all, you know? So when I was about thirteen my parents took me to a dentist who basically attached metal to them to force them to stay in place. Cool, huh?”

The tone in which the human spoke did no justice to the horrors that laid in their words. They spoke as if they didn’t realise how terrifying this information was – no, come to think about it, they spoke as if they enjoyed the horrors they’d clearly been put through.

“And this was necessary for your survival?” xe asked, seeing no other reasonable explanation.

“No, no it’s just because it looks better,” the human said, repeating the elevation of an upper part of their anatomy. They did something else too, with an appendage of theirs, but Yldrik was done paying attention.

In record time, every single Ktynarian had vacated the ship, control of which had been returned to the humans. Fortunately their ship had a far higher maximum speed than the humans.

Their only chance at survival would clearly be to stay as far away from the humans as possible. If they attacked, the Ktynarians would have no other option than to flee. A species willing to do things like that to their own young – for aesthetic reasons no less – was not a species one wanted to go to war against.

Alright, the “humans are the weird ones” story bits are just to fun so I’m going to keep doing them. They’ll all be tagged as “human aliens” on my blog. Today: aliens encounter a crazy cat lady.

—-

General Xanaxi’na was wary of trusting their human guide when she offered shelter from the “mountain lion” in what the human referred to as her dwelling. Their disbatchment had already lost three soldiers to this creature, so if their human could offer shelter from it’s vicious claws, well, they’d have to take it. Besides, this human was old and the human culture dictated that elders were wise, kind, and to be trusted.

The dwelling was modest, hewn from wood stacked in a criss-cross pattern, and they traipsed up behind their human as she produced a slim metal object, rolling her eyes when the troops reacted as if it were a weapon. She made a show of placing the object inside a metal orb in the middle of the door and turning it, opening a portal into the dwelling as she did. Before any more thought could be given to the potential weponization abilities of the metal object and the orb there was a shuffling in the brush behind them and a shoving match broke out to make it inside.

No one was prepared for the horrors they found once they were within the supposedly safe walls. 

Strange balls of fur were scattered all over the room–nearly twenty of them in total–and all different colors. Each had a strange strip of jangly fabric around it’s neck, causing an immense racket when the furs came running towards the group. Bio-scans immediately indicated that they were of a similar make to the dreaded “mountain-lion” still prowling outside and the remaining troops scattered, attempting to find shelter, only to find even more of the furs in other rooms.

Their human watched with mild amusement and General Xanaxi’na demanded answers. How dare she lead them into a trap full of deadly creatures like this?

The human broke out laughing, nearly doubling over in her mirth; “they’re, they’re house-cats!” she gasped. “They’re pets.”

“…What is a pet?”

“You know, a small creature your ancestors domesticated so you could have something to cuddle with? That one is Mr. Ruffles,” she pointed to a large white fur that the general could discern no structure to, “and that is Dorthy,” a fat grey fur with a strangely flat face and unnaturally orange eyes. The human continued to list off names as she pointed to the different creatures, the general growing more and more aghast as she continued to speak. 

Finally she scooped up a grizzled looking fur covered in patches of black and white. It had one tooth hanging out of it’s uneven mouth, was missing part of an ear, one eye, and one of it’s rear-limbs. 

“And this is Freddy. He fought that mountain-lion last year and won. Such a little trooper,” she said, smiling serenely as she held up the animal for the general’s examination. “Oh, and the lion’s name is Wilma.”

Clearly this human had gone mad.

anonymous asked:

Aliens reacting to our mess of alien horror films please?

Jostedalsbreen had been on the primarily human vessel for almost thirty of their rotations now, and was confident enough to say xe knew a lot about humans and their cultures by now.

Xe even knew of the concept of popcorn, which apparently was going to be relevant for the end-of-roation bonding they referred to as ‘moovee naigt’ apparently they would view a classic of some sort. It sounded like an art form similar to theatre - which Jostedalsbreen had read about.

When xe arrived at the designated room xe had no idea what horrors awaited xem. At first it seemed pleasurable enough, but it didn’t take long before xe was as good as frozen to xir seat, silently bemoaning the evolutionary trait that rendered xem unable to move. 

Fortunately, one of the humans - Communications Officer Moreau - seemed to take notice not too long after, and end the horrific ordeal on the screen. Jostedalsbreen needed some time to recover before xe was able to communicate in a way the humans would understand, but once xe was ready, xe knew what xe had to ask.

“W- what was that?”

“The movie?” Moreau asked before they seemed to realise the problem. “It’s fictitious, don’t worry. Purely for entertainment value.”

Clearly the humans didn’t realise how unsettling that statement was. “You find footage of your own species being ripped to shreds funny?” Xe asked in disbelief, almost scared of what the answer would be. Humans did have a reputation after all, but from what xe had seen, it seemed to be largely undeserved. Even if they seemed to have no idea what self-preservation meant, and came from a truly terrifying world.

“No, no, of course not. It’s scary,” they answered, causing a wave of relief to wash over Jostedalsbreen. Until they continued, that is. “That’s what we like about it.”

The shock xe experienced must have shown, because Moreau didn’t stop there. “I’m not really sure why or how it works, but getting scared is funny sometimes. Like, when someone sneaks up behind you and scare you, and for some reason you end up laughing because the person who snuck up on you scared you? That ever happen to you?”

It took longer than it should have for Jostedalsbreen to realise that they weren’t joking, nor was the question rhetorical. “No. How would someone attacking you be entertaining?”

“I don’t know, it just is. And they’re not actually attacking, they’re just… you know. Giving you a spook.”

Pretending to understand what they meant, xe moved xir head in what humans considered a sign of agreement, realising xe had been a fool to think xe could ever understand humans.

The Etiquette of Herb-Gathering

As a practicing Witch and small-scale herbalist, I often find that when I’m out and about I’m also absentmindedly on the lookout for any new, interesting or useful herb species that might help me in my practice. I even carry a small clean jam jar and a sharp penknife in my handbag at all times for if I spot a herb I just can’t resist and need to take a cutting of it for my collection back home. However, while I’m avidly seeking out roadside feverfew or happily snipping cuttings of a rare cultivar of lavender or sage, I’m always acutely aware of why I call the etiquette of herb-gathering.

These are a few simple rules by which I suggest all foraging Witches, alchemists and herbalists should abide that dictate the correct course of action for those who seek to collect herbs from places other than their own gardens. They are mostly fairly common-sense, but a few are ones that might be overlooked, but which can actually be of profound importance!

I will list the rules below, but bear in mind that it’s not like this is some onerous obligation that must be fulfilled, and nor is it some sort of “Witchcraft commandment” or infallible and unchanging list of sacred laws. These are a few things that I created for my own usage, and nobody else is under any obligation to use them. If you choose to do so, I’ll be thrilled; if you find a way to improve them, please do reblog this post with your corrections! 

The Etiquette of Herb-Gathering

  1. Remember that all plants are living things, and if you harvest them too severely, they will die. This seems obvious, but you’d be shocked how many people forget! This is especially important when what you’re harvesting is the plant’s leaves - always remember that leaves are how plants make their food, so leave enough of them to enable the plant to keep growing strongly.

  2. Never forget that you may not be the only one foraging. Make sure that, when you harvest a wild growth of a herb, there may be others in the area who would also like to harvest that plant. Take only a little from a lot of patches, rather than using only two or three patches, but taking almost all of what is available at each one. This will not only ensure that other foragers can use that patch too, but will mean that when the patch regrows, you’ll know where to go back to in order to find it again instead of needing to hunt down a new patch each time.

  3. When foraging on another’s land, ask their permission first! This seems so straightforward, but sadly people forget that plants growing in other people’s gardens (yes, even their front lawn) are that person’s private property! Taking cuttings or fruits from plants on that property without the owner’s permission is legally theft, and can be punished just like shoplifting or stealing a bike from a railing. It also means that the owner will know that their plant is looking smaller because it’s been harvested, rather than them thinking it’s died or been eaten by some wild herbivore.

  4. Always cut stems at a diagonal angle. Never snip a stem so that it forms a circular, blunted end, because this can allow rainwater to build up on the surface of the cut. This rainwater can trap fungal spores, and cause the plant to get a serious fungal infection that may damage or even kill that whole patch. Instead, cut the stems at a roughly 45° angle, so that water beads up and rolls off more easily. 

  5. When collecting flowers, remember that other people like to look at wildflowers. Never take ALL the flowers from any wild plant, both because it prevents that plant from reproducing as it naturally wants to do, and because it means others who walk past the plant don’t get to see it’s beautiful blooms! If you own the plant, that’s another matter - you may WANT to snip off all flowers to prevent it from bolting, like with parsley. However, with wildflowers, always leave at least half the flowers on the plant so that it can continue to reproduce as nature intended.

  6. Never pick a plant you can’t identify with total certainty. Yet another seemingly-obvious one that is nevertheless often ignored. This is often quoted for fungi, because some fungi can be quite poisonous, but if anything it’s even worse for plants. The medicinally fabulous plant known as yarrow, Achillea millefolia, is a very useful plant and a common component of herbal medicines. However, it looks almost identical to spotted water-hemlock, a species of plant so deadly that one bite can kill you in 20 minutes. Make completely certain that all plants you collect are positively identified, and that you flag all plants with commonly-confused poisonous cousins for further identification later if you’re not 100% sure.

  7. Never harvest flowers from plants around beehives. Bees are one of the most important families in the natural world, being responsible for the pollination of tens of thousands of species of flowering plants all over the world and on every forested continent. Whilst most species of bees are solitary, and don’t form the large hives we assume are common to all bees, those that DO form vast colonies need similarly vast numbers of flowers to support themselves. When you come across a beehive, especially a boxed hive that’s clearly domesticated by humans, try to avoid harvesting any flowers from within 500 metres (about a third of a mile) around the hive(s). The hive needs all the nectar and pollen it can get, and due to the rising threat of colony collapse disorder the life of every single hive is a precious thing that must be preserved at all costs. It might be inconvenient for you, but it’s worth it.

***************

These are just a few of the major rules that I personally suggest all foragers and herb-gatherers take to heart. Remember that you’re not the only Witch who needs their supplies! Thank you for reading :)

– Juniper

hello i was really inspired by elsewhere university so i wrote what could be considered a first person account of a freshman? i hope you like it!!!

.

You apply to college because you know you’re supposed to. You’re not sure if you’re ready for it, though. In the past, your grades have fluctuated because you have executive dysfunction and also you never learned how to study. Smart kid problems, your dad always said.

You only apply to one college. If you don’t get in, you’re going to take a year off from school. You don’t really know what you’ll do, but you’ll figure it out. You apply to one of the most prestigious schools in the world: Elsewhere University.

Elsewhere University is a lot like any other university, from what you understand. You did your research. There’s weird rules, and there’s a whole blog dedicated to the culture surrounding that particular school. There’s something in each post that makes you think that there’s something the authors aren’t saying, but you never get a response when you ask in the comments or by emailing. One woman replied, but all she said was, “Be careful, but it’s a good school. I highly recommend it.”

You tried to find pass/fail rates of the school, but you can’t find anything. Apparently nobody fails out of Elsewhere university, only drops out or disappears. In fact, there’s a strangely high amount of disappearances from Elsewhere University that nobody seems to be making a fuss about. You almost regret applying when you learn about that.

Your best friend’s sister’s girlfriend graduated from Elsewhere U, so you ask your best friend to put you in contact with her. She does. Her sister’s girlfriend gives you a load of advice, and also highly recommends the school. She tells you that it’s an actual fact that nobody fails out of Elsewhere University, but that lots drop out or vanish. She says “vanish” a little wistfully, and you remember that time about five years ago when she’d vanished for a week, but then showed back up weirdly wiser and cleverer. You don’t ask about it.

Her advice consists of weird superstitions that she swears by: keep a bit of iron tucked away, carry some salt with you, and to carry candy and sweets with you. She doesn’t explain why, but you pack an old horseshoe, a container of salt, and your entire stash of candy.

She also gives you a list of rules.  

  1. Don’t eat anything they give you.
  2. Be polite to them.
  3. Don’t break any promises to them.
  4. Be careful making deals with them.
  5. Don’t say “I’m sorry,” say “Pardon me.” Also, don’t say “Thank you,” say “I appreciate it”
  6. Be nice to plants and animals.
  7. Feed the crows.

You have no idea what any of that means, but you know that you will soon. You thank her for her advice. It’s an easy job to type up the list of rules she gave you and turn it into your new background. You have trouble with social stuff, so having a list of rules is a godsend.

Your grandpa takes you down to your school. You don’t really know where it is, but his GPS knows where to go apparently. You have no idea how long the ride is. It feels like forever, and you start to worry about your fish. The GPS says you’ll be there in an hour. The GPS said you’d be there in an hour, an hour ago. You hope your betta fish will be okay. He’s been in his travel container for what feels like too long.

When you arrive, there’s a group of volunteers helping people like you move in. A team of three grabs up all of your stuff. You carry your fish and your newly acquired keys. The volunteer who signs you in warns you to keep track of your keys, that They can beep into the dorms and will raid your room for shiny stuff. You ask what she means. She shakes her head and calls you a freshie. You don’t ask again.

The three who help you take your stuff to your room give you advice. The girl tells you to stay away from the library and the dining hall at 3am. The boy tells you not to make deals at the point where two crosswalks create a crossroads in front of the Briggs building.

The person of indeterminate gender asks you what your major is, and when you tell them you’re thinking about creative writing, they tell you to be extremely careful and to never accept food from strangers under any circumstances and to be careful in even the dining hall and that if you can’t be absolutely sure that whoever is giving you food is human and to politely reject it otherwise and also don’t let the Fair Folk critique your stories because they’ll consider that a favor and you don’t want to owe them a favor and-

The girl hisses at them to shut up, that they’re scaring you. She’s not wrong. You want to hear more, though, so the person of indeterminate gender who tells you to call them Jules. You have a feeling that Jules isn’t their birth name. You tell them to call you by the nickname your friend gave you. They grin at you and say you’re already learning.

The trio leaves you in your room, alone. Your roommate isn’t here yet. You take the side of the room with the comfy chair, but leave them the good wardrobe. You feel like that’s a fair trade. It doesn’t take you long to unpack, and by the time your roommate shows up, all you’re doing is putting up your last poster (a Captain America “propaganda” poster).

She gives your poster a disgusted look. You say hello. She says hello back. She doesn’t thank the volunteers when they leave. She sets up her side of the room quickly, and complains about her wardrobe being slightly tilted. You point out that yours doesn’t close all the way. She scoffs, but quits complaining.

You never really get to like your roommate. She’s out all the time, she joins a sorority, and when she is in the room, her boyfriend is with her. Having him in the room makes you itch. He’s a nice guy, but something about him makes you dislike him instantly.

You stay polite, but when she vanishes, you aren’t really concerned. She’s often gone for a night or two. It’s only on the third night that you think you should probably report that she’s gone.

You knock on the RA’s door before your first class. She’s half asleep and tells you she’ll look into it, but that if your roommate shows up on her own to tell her. Oh and, she adds, if she comes back weird, be careful, Freshie.

Your roommate never comes back. Your RA shows up at your door after two weeks with a teary-eyed middle aged couple to pack her stuff up. You leave for the library with a thin excuse. You try to avoid the library, but it’s a good place to go when it’s nine at night and nothing is open except the student union. You already ate tonight, and going to the student union always makes you hungry, even when you’ve just eaten. The library is safer on your wallet.

You linger for an hour and a half. Half of your homework is done, including that essay you were sure would take you days to finish. You think you might come to the library more often after this.

When you return to your dorm, you pass by your RA’s open door. She said to leave the half of the room that isn’t yours empty, that you’d be getting a new roommate soon. You agree easily. You hope this next roommate is nicer than the last one. One of your classmates, who only goes by Elly, says that her roommate was replaced by something that looked just like them, but acted wrong. A junior hushed her, but it was enough to leave you thankful that your roommate had just vanished.

The next morning, you give one of the campus crows a slice of ham from your sandwich. It bows its head in thanks. It flies away after that. You decide to keep feeding the crows. You’ve always been superstitious, and it’s always good to have crows on your side, right? Your best friend’s sister’s girlfriend even said to feed the crows. Even if it’s just mumbo-jumbo, it can’t hurt, right?

You feed the crows. You go to class. You eat dinner in the dining hall, and only take food that’s being served by the workers who are clearly human. You don’t look at the shadowy figures when you go to your night class. You don’t speak to the cloaked figures you see at all times of the day, but you nod politely in passing. You never say thank you, or I’m sorry. You follow the rules, and when time comes that someone who doesn’t look quite right stops you at the crossed sidewalk in front of the O’Brien building, you carefully only offer a handful of candy in exchange for the study guide the stranger offers you. They happily accept the candy, and you happily go over your new guide.

You like Elsewhere University. Your classes are going great, you have a few friends, and you’re starting to understand what’s going on around campus.

You feel like you’re going to do just fine here.

anonymous asked:

just to add to the #discorse, do you think Butch's comments about ghosts just being monsters is to kill the Danny is (half) dead joke/headcannon?? (aka "it's not gay if he's dead")

No.

And here’s the reason why: it’s not gay if he’s dead is a recent meme. Elmer Earl “Butch” Hartman changed the canon on ghosts in the middle of the series.

This clarification is never stated, but in between Danny Phantom season 2 and season 3, several writers were replaced by Nick (among them Steve Marmel). There’s very little leaked information about why, all we know is that writers like Marmel disagreed with writers like Hartman, and that Marmel lost. 

In season 3, we’re introduced to new “types” of ghosts. Characters like Vortex, Undergrowth, Nocturne, and Frostbite. Before this season, super powerful ghosts were just as human as anything else. In fact, it seemed the more powerful a ghost was, the more detailed their human bodies were. The exceptions - Skulker, Wulf, and Dora/Aragon - still fit within this canon. Skulker is a weak ghost who uses armor to give his form strength; his actual form is very un-human and blobby because he is a weak ghost. Wulf is clearly a werewolf, and so therefore still fits within the “they were human” canon, and Dora and Aragon (the dragons) were only dragons because they wore amulets that made them into dragons, but their standard form was human. (The dragons protecting Pariah Dark’s keep did, incidentally, also wear necklaces…amulets for transformed human ghosts?)

The season 3 ghosts, on the other hand, are clearly not human - often in ways that suggest they never have been. Undergrowth is a giant plant monster, Nocturne is clearly just The Void in a mask, Vortex is a storm, etc. Most interesting of all of them is Frostbite: Frostbite is the most concrete evidence that Butch wanted to destroy the entire concept of “ghosts” as “dead.” Why? Frostbite had culture. Here’s this giant yeti, trudging through his ice fields, to his ice CITY? With advanced medicines, society, currency, other giant yetis wandering around freezing things, and he’s proving that these are not dead people. Up until this point, ghosts were nomadic - it’s implied that even Pariah Dark’s army had to be bloodily obtained by killing humans - but here we have a society. An entire, non-nomadic, traditional society, and they’re proving that they’re a society unconnected from the death/life cycle of the human/living world, that they’re just creatures from another dimension. And then Hartman brings this concept home when he gives Danny an ice core, the same core as these ‘yeti’ ghosts - thereby connecting the ghosts = monsters to the ghosts = monsters = danny phantom = all ghosts are just monsters.

These ghosts lack the ‘human’ touch of season two; and here marks the difference between Hartman and Marmel. Hartman (supposedly under pressure from the studio to “tone down the death vibes” after TUE didn’t make enough money) wanted to turn the ghosts into monsters from another world, and Marmel, like any moderately sane writer said something along the lines of “you can’t change the story in the middle of the story, you’ll ruin it,” and then got fired.

So essentially, anon, Elmer Earl (actual real name) Hartman hasn’t wanted the ghosts to be ghosts for a decade

the kylo ren concept art is really telling honestly

what we could have had: scary cyborg villian (space hamlet much)

what we got: pretty boy scar, obviously not trying to look too scary (or goofy), hes still clearly human… showing that humanity

and of course my personal favorite: (im not screaming gray jedi/redemption arc, I just have a blue lightsaber for the aesthetic)

anonymous asked:

You know what makes me wonder, is that Boris at the end of chapter 2 seems to be perfectly fine and all friendly and chipper. Not evil at all. I wonder if Bendy used to be like that, but is possessed or something. Doesn't make sense that boris is all cool but Bendy is all crazy you know? I don't know. So hyped for chapter 3!

I’ve got a theory, and it’s a theory that’s actually existed since Chapter 1 was first released.  It’s also, ironically, a theory that I never really cared for… but Chapter 2 has added a significant helping of support for it.

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the best parts of the dream thieves (featuring me crying pt. 2)

part one

- “Ronan was everything that was left: molten eyes and a smile made for war” 

- Ronan’s second secret #gay

- Gansey: “i would have thought you had more muscles. Don’t feminist have big muscles?” i just want to punch him can someone please punch him

- gansey calling ronan an incredible creature #gay 

- “The elderly made ronan anxious” bitch me too!!!

- Ronan wanting to race kavinsky in the pig and adam is like dude no there is like 5 people in here we weigh too much and ronan goes: “noah doesn’t count” “Hey!” “You’re dead!” i love these nerds

- Gansey: “am I in your dreams?” Ronan: “Oh yes, baby” i hate him jsjksksk

- “Ronan sometimes dreamt of Adam, too” #gay

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buzzfeed.com
BREAKING: The Officer Who Fatally Shot A Black Teen Has Been Arrested And Charged With Murder
An arrest warrant was issued Friday for Roy Oliver, the former Texas police officer who shot 15-year-old Jordan Edwards as he left a house party. Oliver later turned himself in.
By Jim Dalrymple II

The white former police officer who repeatedly fired a rifle into a moving car last week in a Dallas suburb, killing 15-year-old Jordan Edwards, has been arrested for murder.

Officials issued an arrest warrant for former Balch Springs police officer Roy Oliver on Friday. In a statement to BuzzFeed News, the Dallas County Sheriff’s Office called for Oliver’s arrest “for the crime of murder” and said that he “intended to cause serious bodily injury and commit an act clearly dangerous to human life that caused the death.”

Oliver turned himself in Friday evening at the Parker County Jail in Weatherford, about 95 miles west of Dallas. He was later released on $300,000 bond.

In a statement, Lee Merritt — an attorney representing Edwards’ family — said that the warrant, while not taking away the pain caused by the shooting, “has brought a bit of reprieve in a time of intense mourning.”

“Although we realize that there remain significant obstacles ahead on the road to justice, this action brings hope that the justice system will bend against the overwhelming weight of our frustration,” Merritt said.

Oliver shot Edwards — a freshman at Mesquite High School, outside of Dallas — on April 29 as he was leaving a house party in Balch Springs.

Police say the shooting happened after officers responded to reports of several drunk, underage “kids” walking around a neighborhood at night. When officers arrived, police said they heard gun shots and witnessed Edwards leaving the party in a car with other teenagers. Oliver then fired several rounds from a rifle at the vehicle, fatally striking Edwards in a passenger seat.

Jordan’s 16-year-old stepbrother, Vidal Allen, was driving the vehicle during the shooting and noticed Jordan’s head was “smoking,” Merritt said, and then flagged police to help.

Initially, police claimed that the vehicle had been backing up toward officers in “an aggressive manner,” but later said the officers’ account of what happened was inaccurate and the car had actually been driving away. Police came to that conclusion after reviewing dashcam footage.

Balch Springs Police Chief Jonathan Haber announced Tuesday that Oliver had been fired. Haber said Oliver violated several department policies during the incident, though he did not say which ones.

“You have my assurances my department will continue to be responsive, transparent, and accountable,” Haber added.

Edwards was an honor student and athlete and was “very well liked by his teachers, coaches, and fellow students,” the Mesquite Independent School District said in a statement.

Accompanied by Edwards’ parents at a news conference Monday, Merritt said, “We are declaring war on bad policing.”

“This has happened far too often,” he said. “We are tired of making the same rhetorical demands, and having the same hashtags.”

According to the sheriff’s statement Friday, the investigation into the shooting is ongoing and “does not conclude with the arrest of Roy Oliver.”

She Tastes like Candlelight 

MSR

Explicit 

It starts with, of all things, a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt.

Logically, he knows it doesn’t make sense. She comes to work in form-fitted jackets that go tight about her waist. She’s been foregoing the baggy slacks in favor of skirts that stop just below the knees, with nylons clinging to the defined musculature of her calves; he’s pretty sure he can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen her wear shoes other than heels, excluding the clinical, white shoes she wears with her scrubs during autopsies.

He’s seen the looks she gets. Sometimes, it’s during an interview, when a witness’s gaze will linger just a little too long on her bustline, and her hand will go up and fiddle with her necklace, her arm blocking her chest in subtle defiance. Other times, it’s men on the streets of the city, shouting out obscenities to her, having the audacity to call her “baby,” and “sweetheart,” and he fights the urge to yell right back, brandishing his badge and his gun, wanting to scare the misogyny right out of the bones of anyone who thinks they’re entitled to her body, but he knows that she would find it condescending. “Thank you, but I can handle myself, Mulder,” she’d say, and it’s not that he thinks she can’t—he just doesn’t want her to have to.

And still other times, the looks come not from strangers on the sidewalk, or from people he can reduce to photos in a casefile, but from their peers. Educated, talented men who transform themselves into slobbery, teenage boys when sitting adjacent to her in meetings, eyeing her with an inappropriate hunger while she jots down notes in the margins of her agenda sheet. More than once, Mulder has found himself in the elevator with a man who will look down at Scully, and then catch Mulder’s eye over the top of her head, just so that he can wink, including him in some inside joke he has no interest being a part of.

He supposes that he empirically knows that Scully is attractive—it’s more or less objective fact—but he’s never allowed himself to notice. He’s trained himself to observe her through a filter. He considers her appearance through what he aptly names the Sexual Harassment Video Gaze. He quickly shuts down any thought that could be used as an example in a training tape on inappropriate office behavior.

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Breathe ~ An Avenger’s Story  (4/15)

Originally posted by themarvelnerd

AU Summary:Y/N snaps and reveals them her powers and ends up in a holding cell.

Notes: This is just a broad explanation for Y/N’s powers. There will be more details on that later. Hope you guys like it! 

Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

MASTERLIST


The next morning, Steve, Natasha, Clint, Tony and Fury were in Y/N’s room. Trying to persuade her again. But the night before, her talk with Steve made her think about her situation. About what will Y/N do now?

“Miss Y/L/N? Have you made a decision? My patience is wearing thin.” Fury told her as he sat on the couch with the same grey folder on the table in front of him. Steve was standing the closest to Y/N while Clint and Natasha stood by the door. Tony was on his phone the whole time, seemingly not paying attention.

“Why do you need me for anyway, you’ve got a great team.” Y/N said.

“That I do, Miss Y/L/N. But here in SHIELD, we are always looking for ways to improve.” he said. “Now, will you join the team or will you assist us?”

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