clear plastic backpack

I’m drunk as hell at like the first College Bar I’ve been to in 3 years of being drunk at college! and anyway, I’m in this bar, and straight frat dudes are buying me drinks as if I’m attracted to them, and not only is it soo funny, but also I’m unintentionally wearing a clear plastic backpack with nothing in it except a clearly visable hardcover copy of nabakov’s Pnin