Alison Luff (1st National Tour, April 20th 2014) [last]
I only just discovered this lovely rendition of one of Wicked’s most underrated songs. Pay special attention to her “don’t start” and “I know”. There’s so much subtle emotion in this one, I really like it. Good job, Miss Luff. (x)
I think the coolest thing for me about being on tour in 2015 is that I can go on Instagram, I can go on Twitter or Tumblr I can check up on you and see what’s going on with you and like your pictures and just see what your doing getting ready for each show, what you liked about the show and that’s my favorite thing about it. My least favorite thing about where we are in 2015 is that sometimes when I’m looking at your page I’ll scroll down and see the comments and I’ll see that somebody said something senselessly mean to you. And I know that probably that comment ruined your day and the saddest thing about 2015 is somebody can say something that can ruin your day and they don’t have to see your face after they say it and I think that it has led to a lot of people being very self conscious and people second guessing it when they want to dance in public or when they want to sing along at a concert and all I can hope for you and all I want you to know is that I’m so proud of you for being the opposite of self conscious and not letting those people who say that we have to be coolest to you. I want to tell you some things I’ve learned recently
1. You are not the opinion of someone who doesn’t know you
2. Being cool does not mean acting bored and unmoved and unexcited about your life, that’s not what being cool is.
3. The better thing, what even better than being cool is being happy.
4. The moment you can take what people say to you and block it out and walk your own footsteps, pave your own path, decide your own definition of cool and happy is the moment that all the mud people try to throw at you is gone and in that moment your clean.
Taylor’s vocals are so strong and so beautiful. I’m glad the rest of the world is finally catching on, but I think the fact that Taylor is an incredible, all round musician is underrated. Her skill for playing the guitar and piano is sooo amazing; her ear for music and how she can convey exactly the emotion she was feeling, when writing the song, through notes on a keyboard or guitar is absolutely mind-blowing. So, Taylor Alison Swift, thank you for being so talented and I hope you know how much we admire and love you and just how wonderful you are ❤️
Could You Save Me If I Asked You To? (Emison Prompt)
********WARNING VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: there are triggers for suicide and cutting in this fic so please please please don’t read it if you think it’ll trigger you!!*********
Prompt: Can you do a prompt where Ali finds Emily hurting herself and comforts her and takes care of her and confesses her love and they make out
“Hey, Em,” Alison says, walking into the brunette’s room, stopping short when she sees Emily sitting there, crying. The brunette furiously wipes at her eyes with one hand, while sticking the other quickly behind her back. “W-What are you doing here?” She says, trying to keep her voice steady. “I heard about Mona, I wanted to see if you’re okay, your mom let me in. I’m so sorry, Em. But I had nothing to do with-” “You shouldn’t be here,” Emily shouted at her furiously, pulling the sleeve of her sweater down lower, and putting her arms behind her back. “Em, please, listen to me,” she begged stepping closer to the brunette, reaching out a hand towards her, making Emily flinch, a silver sliver dropping to the floor from her hand. Alison knew what it was as soon as she saw it, and a wave of nausea flooded over her. She had considered doing it a million times; when she was all alone stuck in some dank warehouse somewhere not knowing if she would survive the night, when she was running and had no one to turn to, when she got that scar on her thigh, even recently, when the girls wouldn’t even look at her without disgust evident on their face, when Emily had given up on her…but she never found the courage to. As much as she hated herself, and she really really did, she would let the blade hover above her skin before freaking herself out enough and putting it away, she had never actually let the sharp edge kiss her skin, never let it hurt her. And she never thought Emily would let it hurt her either, hadn’t even considered that the brunette may have thought about it. She knew Emily had been going through a lot lately, they all had, but Emily was strong, stronger than anyone she knew, stronger than her, too strong for this. “Em-” she gasped, her eyes widening with concern for the girl who she loved more than she loved herself, way more. “I didn’t do anything with it…it was just…I just…it…” “Let me see your wrist,” Alison said sternly, stepping towards the brunette who wouldn’t even look at her. “Alison…” She flinched at Emily calling her by her full name, had they seriously gone back that far? It hurt to hear it, she would give anything for her to just call her Ali again, she wished she could take everything back, do everything again, differently this time. She would endure all the horrors she faced, again, if it meant going back to normal with Emily. “Let me see it,” Alison repeated, grabbing the brunette’s wrist hard but carefully, so that it wouldn’t hurt her, before she could pull away. She brought Emily’s wrist close to her face, taking in the scent of Emily’s sweet perfume, and it reminded her of the night they spent together, as Emily was pressed against her, her lips pressed hard and needy against hers, and Emily’s perfume clouding up her thoughts. It was different this time though, there was something bitter to the smell, something new, the scent of fresh blood. She gently pushed up the brunette’s sleeve, revealing tan skin, and a cut slithering like a snake across the veins of her wrist. It wasn’t a deep cut, it didn’t need stitches, thank god, because she could definitely NOT get that past Ms. Fields, but it was a cut, and blood trickled out of it, sliding against her smooth dark skin. “I need to bandage this up,” she said, running a hand through her blonde hair. She felt sick at the sight and the tears pouring from Emily’s absent eyes definitely did not help. She had no idea what to do, she’d never been faced with a situation like this before, and she felt helpless. But she also had no idea who she could call for help, Emily would kill her if she called Pam or any of the girls, or just about anyone, and that would only push her farther away, and while she knew it was selfish and now was not a time to be selfish, she couldn’t deal with Emily not talking to her now that she knew what was going on. “Do you have any gauze? Tape?” Alison asked, examining her wrist carefully. “I don’t know, maybe downstairs,” Emily said quietly, the brown of her eyes being laced with exhaustion and she looked like she was somewhere far away within her mind. “Okay, I’m going to go find some, okay? Don’t move.” “Don’t tell my mom,” Emily said quietly, pleadingly. “I won’t, Em. Just, uh, sit down,” Alison said, laying the brunette on her bed, and picking up the razor from the floor and sticking it in her pocket before leaving.
“Do you have any gauze?” Alison asked Ms. Fields, trying to hide the panic in her voice. “What happened, Alison? Is Emily okay?” “Yes, she just scraped her arm and I wanted to be extra careful,” Alison lied, with a smile. “Let me come up and help,” Pam said, trying to walk past the blonde, who politely stepped in front of her. “No! I don’t want to freak her out, it’s nothing bad, I can handle it, I promise.” “Okay…” Pam said, her voice wavering, obviously unsure. But she got the first aid kit out of the cabinet and handed it to the blonde. “Call me if you need me.” “I will, I promise,” Alison said with a smile.
When she stepped back into Emily’s room the brunette was in the same exact spot, tears still running down her face, her arm stretched out in front of her and she was holding it tenderly. “I got the first aid kit,” she said, re-shutting the door behind her. Emily glanced towards her, but she was talking more to herself than she was to the brunette. She knew that Pam wouldn’t be able to hold off for long, and would come in any minute to check on them, especially with the door shut, so she tried to work fast. She cleaned the cut with soap and water, and Emily flinched at the sting but didn’t say anything. In fact, they sat in silence, Emily laying there with her arm out, Alison cleaning it and covering it in gauze, taping the gauze to her skin with medical tape and hoping it wouldn’t bleed through, until Alison had finished, and it was Emily who first broke the silence. “This is embarrassing,” she whispered, almost to herself. “It’s not,” Alison said, gently brushing strands of dark hair from Emily’s face. “I just wish you told me, I could’ve helped,” she whispered, trying to hide the hurt in her voice. “When would I have told you? When you were gone, when I thought you were dead? When you wouldn’t stop lying to us? When, Alison?” She practically scoffed, but the look in her eyes was tired and pained and it hurt Alison more than her words. “Have you done this before?” She asked, not really wanting to know the answer. “Once,” Emily admitted quietly, “when they found your body. Or, what they thought was your body, anyway.” It felt like knives being stuck into her heart and being twisted, to think that she was the one that did this to Emily. “Em-” “Stop. I don’t want to talk about it. I’m exhausted, honestly, I just want to go to sleep, Alison.” “Okay,” Alison said, helping the brunette who was obviously weak, exhausted, and still somewhat crying, get under the covers. “Are there any more blades?” “No, that was my only one.” “Promise me you’ll never do this again, Emily,” she said, sternly. “I won’t,” she whispered. “Promise, Em.” “I promise,” she mumbled. “Good, goodnight. Call me in the morning, please, Em. I need to know you’re okay.” She knew Emily wouldn’t call her, but she had to say it, had to make sure Emily knew she truly did care. Because it killed her, to think that Emily actually thought she would want to hurt her, or any of the girls, but especially her, when, in reality, she loved her more than she could ever imagine. And it killed her, killed her that Emily would do this to herself, and she just needed to know that Emily would be okay and never ever do this again, even if they would never discuss it again. Because the most important thing to her was that Emily was okay and happy, and she would give anything for that.
Alison was almost out the door of Emily’s room when she heard Emily call, “Alison,” from behind her. “What, Em?” She said softly, turning around to face her. “Can you stay, at least until I fall asleep?” “Okay,” she responded quietly, knowing it was a disastrous idea. Emily was with Paige now, and she wasn’t sure she could deal with that rejection from the girl she so desperately loved, again. Plus, she was one of the main reasons why Emily had done this to herself in the first place. But she couldn’t say no to Emily, never could and never will be able to, especially not when Emily was this distraught. She slipped off her boots and got into the bed next to Emily, keeping a good couple of inches between their bodies, which Emily didn’t complain about. However, as Emily drifted off to sleep, she rolled over, resting her head against Alison’s chest, draping her bandaged wrist over the blonde’s stomach, and Alison laced her arm gently under the brunette, wrapping her arm around her, holding her protectingly. She had a feeling she wasn’t going to be able to leave any time that night, but suddenly, with the heat of Emily’s body pressed against hers, she didn’t seem to mind.
This is my take on how the events transpired leading up to Alison’s disappearance. I think that the flashbacks that we have seen occurred over the course of a few years leading up to her disappearance. I may be wrong about this. And I’m not even sure if it matters, it just makes it all make a little more sense to me. A special thanks to analyzinga for the use of their timeline in putting all of this together.
-Marion Cavanaugh starts showing signs of mental illness and is checked into Radley soon after
October 24, 2007:
-Marion Cavanaugh dies
-Alison and Jason fight in their yard over the magazine she took from him, and then he trashes her room.
-Daniel Cavanaugh remarries
-Alison and Jenna meet at costume store
-Jenna turns down Alison’s offer to be a part of their group
-Noel’s Halloween party
-Aria and Alison discover Byron’s affair
-Alison gets the first ‘A’ message and attacked in the creepy house
-Alison meets Duncan and starts flying lessons
-Alison and Aria trash Byron’s office
-Jenna begins the physical relationship with Toby
-Alison begins blackmailing Byron
-Spencer and Alison hear about Jason and Melissa making out
-Girls attend frat party where Ian’s date was pushed down the stairs
-Spencer and Ian kiss, Alison catches them
-Girls discuss Paige as Pig Skin with Alison
-Spencer sees the anklet that Alison’s “friend” gave her
-Hanna asks Sean to Noel’s party
-Emily and Alison kiss in the library
-Alison talks to Regina Marin
-Alison and Emily discuss running away to Paris
-Alison catches Hanna with Mike
-Emily kisses Alison in the locker room (the kisses were just practice)
-Alison breaks up Noel and his girlfriend
-Alison teaches Hanna to start purging
-Alison tells Emily to break up with Ben (mushy squash, friend whose ex pulled a gun)
-Alison starts seeing Ian, attempts to blackmail Spencer into telling Melissa about the kiss
-Jason has a house party during which Alison leaves and goes to Spencer’s in tears.
-Alison and Jason fight with the field hockey stick
-Alison and Spencer go to church; Ali makes fun of Mona and tells Spencer about her journals
-Girls go to the lake. See Jenna, Noel, Lucas; “That’s immortality my darling”
-Alison meets Ezra at college bar
-Goes to Hector to get her money
-Alison shows the girls her new dresses
-Alison and Cece prank Paige
-Cece checks into Radley as Alison
-Alison goes to theater with Ezra
-Alison peeps in Toby’s window or watches one of Ian’s videos and finds out about Toby and Jenna
-Hanna meets Vivian at the beauty shop
-The Jenna Thing
-Alison gives girls bracelets
-Ali starts communicating with ‘A’ in the Rosewood Observer
-Ali visits Toby at Juvenile facility about the ‘A’ notes
-Alison holds her breath to convince her mom to let her stay longer in Cape May
-Alison and Cece’s families go to Cape May
-Alison has pregnancy scare
-Return to Rosewood after a few weeks
-Mrs. D tries to convince Ali that Spencer is ‘A’
-Veronica sees Ali sneaking back into a sleep over with a bloody lip
-Ali leaves to visit grandma in Georgia
-Alison calls Board Shorts and Grundwald
-Leaves Georgia to meet Ian in Hilton Head
-Melissa shows up at Hilton Head, she and Ian argue, Ali steals NAT videos and leaves
August 31, 2009
-Calls Duncan to fly her back to the airfield in Philadelphia
-Leaves airfield goes to Brookhaven in an attempt to meet ‘A’, ‘A’ doesn’t show
-Alison supposedly ran into Mona dressed as Vivian
-Goes Jenna’s school, to show her the NAT video of her and Toby
-Rents a storage unit, puts the NAT videos in an old lunch box then in the unit
-Returns to Rosewood by taxi and is greeted by the girls
-Goes home, finds the yellow top from her mom and changes
-Goes to Emily’s to give her the snow globe with the key to the storage unit
-Leaves because she has a ‘prior engagement’
-Dinner with her family
-Mrs. D on the phone, frantic, tells Alison not to go out
-Alison steals a few of her mom’s sleeping pills and leaves anyway
-Goes to Spencer’s barn and scares the girls, then drugs them with the sleeping pills
-After girls go to sleep, Alison sneaks out and goes to meet Toby
-After Toby, Ezra pulls up to confront Ali about lying about her age
-Ali goes to meet Ian at the Kissing Rock and they make the video, Ali tells him she has NAT videos
-Alison goes back to barn and is confronted by Spencer. Meanwhile, Ian calls Garrett, Jenna, and Melissa to look for NAT videos
****From here, the order is questionable****
-Alison and Spencer fight; starting in Alison’s back yard and moving around to the front yard.
-Melissa arrives in time to see Ali and Spencer fighting and Spencer leaves dragging shovel. Cece shows up and she and Melissa argue (Jason sees this)
-Alison then runs into Garrett and Jenna leaving her house. Garrett pretends to hit Ali with the hockey stick, making Jenna think he killed her.
-Garrett takes Jenna home and then returns to check on Ali. He sees Alison attempting to blackmail Byron (who doesn’t take the bait)
- Alison goes back to the barn for a time.
This may be when Melissa finds Bethany, dressed just like Alison including the bracelet, and assumes Spencer killed her. In an attempt to protect Spencer, she buries Bethany.
-When Alison leaves the barn heading home, she sees her mom standing in the window. Her mom sees her start towards the door, and then someone comes up behind her and hits her in the back of the head.
-Mrs. D., thinking Alison was dead, takes her to the back yard and buries her alive, while the person who hit her watches.
-Alison then manages to stick her hand through the dirt and is pulled out by Ms. Grundwald.
-When Grundwald attempts to take her to the hospital, Ali runs away.
-Alison runs into Mona and has her check them into the Lost Woods Resort under the name Vivian Darkbloom.
-Mona, after cleaning Ali up, convinces Alison to fake her death and leave town.
-After Ali falls asleep, Mona goes next door to an ‘A’ lair and plays with an Alison doll for a time