cleaning out my drafts like what up


all time low + inspirational lyrics from each album (with the help of @gabricl)

put up or shut up (2006) - the party scene
so wrong, it’s right (2007) - stay awake
nothing personal (2009) - therapy
dirty work (2011) - time-bomb
don’t panic! (2012) - so long, and thanks for all the booze
future hearts (2015) - missing you


She was watching the news, comfortably perched on Shawn’s lap. She knew he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible considering he would be leaving for tour soon again. But she had to see with her own eyes that the Brits had indeed gone through with Brexit. Shawn kept poking at her, distracting her, kissing her neck and letting his fingers wander over her skin.
“Shawn. I really want to watch this.” She huffed at him, amused by how desperate he was, as his fingers slowly made their way down her stomach. He only muttered something along the lines of “I’m not doing anything.” before his fingers were underneath the waistband of her sweats. She tensed slightly as his fingers rubbed over her panties. A sigh leaves her as she leans into him, her back now pressed to his chest. She grabs a hold of his hand as it slides her panties to the side. A whispered Shawn leaves her when his fingers find her clit. She bites her lip holding back those sweet moans. Her nails pressing into the skin of his wrist as he slowly strokes her pussy. Her back arches slightly against him, a grin spreads his lips as he kisses her collarbone. Her head falls back against his shoulder, exposing  the column of her throat to him.
“I thought you wanted to watch the news little love?” he teases her, peppering her neck with soft kisses. Her muttered response making him smile. His thumb flicks over her clit, causing her to arch her back, pressing her ass into his crotch. A whispered more tumbles from a swollen lips. Her eyes flutter up, finally leaving that damned screen. She looks up at him, eyes wide and dark, pleading for more. His middle finger slides into her slowly, her lips parting on a sigh. His calloused finger slides against her g-spot, her eyes closing, savouring the feeling. Shawn smirks, kisses the corner of her mouth before turning to the tv.  
“Oh look, the Maple Leafs played. I want to see this.” he says focusing on the screen. He bites the inside of his cheek at the outraged moan she lets loose.
“You can’t. You just- Shawn!” she stutters adorably. Shawn looks down at her, feigning ignorance.
“What can’t I do love?” he says.
“You’re evil.” she pouts, her bottom lip sticking out slightly. He leans down, taking it between his teeth gently. His finger inside her curls in a come hither motion, dragging over her walls. A mewled please his only answer.
“Tell me what you want little love.” he can’t resist teasing her. The slight blush staining her cheeks, the way she clenches around his digit. The arch of her back, her wiggling against his hard cock. She is gorgeous. He curls his finger once more, encouraging her.
“Make me come. Plea- Please Shawn.” she whispers.
“Anything for my little love.” he smiles as she glowers up at him. His thumb drags over her clit, a shudder running up her back. He slides a second finger into her. Her walls clamp down on his fingers, her ass rocking back against him as her fingers tighten their hold on his wrist.
“You close already little love?” he teases her, enjoying the blush blossoming on her cheeks. He drags his fingers over her g-spot, his left arm wrapping around her waist when her hips raise to meet his fingers. A frustrated moan leaves her. Shawn kisses the shell of her ear, smiling as she lets out a shuddering breath. He curls his fingers, pumping them into her, occasionally flicking her clit. She goes taunt in his arms.
“Let go little love, I’ll take care of you.” he whispers, rubbing tight circles over her sensitive clit. A moan of his name tumbles from her lips as she comes. Her pussy squeezing down on his fingers in a vice like grip. Shawn lets her ride out the waves of her orgasm, gently easing her down from the high.
“Holy heck.” she mutters, voice slightly rough. Shawn laughs, kissing her cheek, before easing out of her. She squeaks when he brings his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean. He does love teasing her.

Just had this draft hanging around on my laptop. Thought I’d share what my twisted brain came up with.

As much as I love Ellie and Joel’s and relationship - slightly unhealthy co-dependency and all - part of me can’t help but wonder what would have happened if, instead of killing Sara off for manpain, she’d been the one to survive, and Joel was the one who got shot that night.

There’s just so much potential in a tough-as-nails, thirty-two year old Sara, who was forced to grow up way too fast in those years following the collapse of society, tasked with escorting a 14 year old girl who reminds her just a little too much of herself (before everything went to shit that is). And she comes to care about her in spite of that, maybe as a daughter, or a younger sister, or a protege, or even just as a projection of her own lost youth, trampled underfoot by a world that isn’t kind to little girls, even before everything falls apart.

Like I’m a big fan of the current trend of sad dad’s passing the proverbial torch to their murder daughters, but you know what’s missing from pretty much every AAA game? Mother-daughter relationships. I can’t think of a single game off the top of my head with two female characters that share a relationship that is in any way comparable to Ellie and Joel’s. And that’s a huge fucking shame, because there’s a massive untapped market of brutal, angry momma-bear protagonists who’ve been through hell, and will claw their way through it again to make sure their girls never have to end up scarred and hardened like them.

I’m not saying the Last of Us would have been better if Sara had been the primary protagonist, but it would have been an interesting departure from a tired and frankly, kinda patronizing formula. And the more I think about it, the more I feel like we missed out on something that could have been absolutely incredible.

The invitation comes hand-delivered by a man in a suit. Bitty’s the one to open the door, and hesitantly affirms when he’s asked if he’s Eric Bittle. The card is handed to him, and the man politely leaves, heading back to the black Lincoln idling outside. Bitty catches a few LAX bros peaking out their window, drawn to fancy cars like moths to a flame. 

“It wasn’t a lawyer,” Bitty calls, and five giant men unfurl themselves from where they’ve been cowering. 

He turns the card over in his hand. It’s thick, off white, bordered with metallic gold that looks suspiciously real. The whole thing is written in twisting calligraphy, so ornate he wouldn’t have been able distinguish his own name if he didn’t know to look for it. The flip side contains an invitation to Kent Parson’s housewarming party with the time and date, and RSVPs can be made via twitter. The card smells of Chanel No. 5.

Bitty Skypes Jack about it later that night. It’s a bit frustrating, because Jack doesn’t understand the subtleties of passive-aggression and keeps insisting that Kent just likes fancy things and genuinely wants them there at his party.

“It’s a game to him, Jack!” Bitty half yells, the card pinned to his wall as a reminder of what he’s up against. “Well, he has the resources, but I have the brains. Do you think you can find out what color his bathroom is? I want to give him clashing towels.”

Trans!Bitty headcannon totally inspired by this post, where Bitty is out to the team and at one point he’s feeling dysphoric and accidentally lets the team know he’s feeling this way. He didn’t mean to worry them but he mentioned it while he was filming for his vlog. Unfortunately he made the mistake of filming his vlog in the Haus kitchen. Ransom and Holster were about to sneak in and see if they can steal something when they hear him say that even though he knows he’s a man sometimes it’s hard to feel that way when he doesn’t have a penis or needs to bind his breasts. Ransom and Holster immediately burst in, all plans of baked goods stealing forgotten, to assure Bitty that he is totally a man and it doesn’t matter what he’s got because to be a man he “must be swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon” and he has all of that and more. Bitty is still startled by their abrupt entrance when he was expecting to be left alone in the kitchen and is trying to stutter out a response. This prompts the Holster to start singing the actual song, belting it out at the top of his lungs with Ransom joining in a little behind him. And like all Disney songs, once people in the Haus notice it’s being sung they can’t help but go to the kitchen and join in. That’s how Bitty has a video of most of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team (including Jack!) belting out Make A Man Out Of You off-key and at the top of their lungs while cramming themselves into the kitchen. Bitty laughs. And cries. And while he doesn’t post the video, he does keep the footage as a pick me up for when he’s missing his friends or feeling especially dysphoric and doesn’t know what to do with himself or how to make it better.

A young girl sits on the floor of a library criss cross applesauce as she reads a book about riding horses. The librarian comes up to her and asks, “do you like riding horses?” The little girl responded with, “i like riding bear back.” The librarian smiled, “i used to love riding without a saddle. It felt more natura-” The girl cut her off, “no. I like riding on the backs of bears.” Suddenly one of the walls of the library was destroyed and a bear emerged through all the dust in the air. The girl climbed onto it and rode bareback on the bear’s back.


2x20 “What Is And What Should Never Be”
God, can you imagine waking up next to him and him sleepily looking at you like in the first gif? :’)

And have a step-by-step gif of the progress of the last painting I uploaded. Just because I felt like it and it’s always good to see how something starts and ends. :D At least for myself.

Step 1: Rough draft
I started out on A4, drawing a dragon and the lone figure facing each other. But somehow I felt like I wanted more space for the abyss between them. And more dragons. So, paper 2 was simply attached with a bit of artist tape.

Step 2: Rough draft 2
I cleaned the initial idea up a bit. I rarely use markers for this, but here it worked well to highlight all the important lines.

Step 3: Clean lines
I copied the highlighted lines onto Canson Mixed Media paper for illustrations and started to draft out the details and perspective.

Step 4: Base Colours
Most of my base colours are done with watercolours. I normally have a rough idea what colours I want. Here, I initially thought of the light of the figure as the source of colour and the rest being in shades of gray. But somehow red seemed to work far better, giving her a sun-like appearance.

Step 5: Details
The details here are done mostly with markers and fineliners. Not much I can say here besides to stay patient and determined. d: I tend to watch series on the computer while working on repetitive and small details, so I don’t get bored.

Step 6: Highlights
Leaving paper white is often impossible, so I paint the light over the dragon near the end of the process. You can use masking liquid or even masking film, if you’re patient enough, but I know I’m not. So, I paint the light on top of everything else with acrylics.

Step 7: Gradients and scanning
After I add the light with acrylic paint, I normally go over the whole drawing with Aero Professional acrylics paint or ink. It’s see through and ideal to give a painting or drawing a gradient and strongly saturated colours. Gradients are a great way to guide the eye to the focus points. And saturated colours can make even a small light a lot brighter.  

(Step 8: Regret
Realizing that the drawing looks far better without the bottom part and the A4 would have been the better solution. Live and learn. :’D Was still a lot of fun and somewhat meditative to draw out all the scales on the bottom part of the painting)

(I’ll stop spamming you with that painting now d: )

Heartbreak Tastes Kind of Like Ramyun (You x EXO Sehun)

“I just can’t believe it…she dumped me!”

“It’s probably because you whine too much, Sehun.”

“Yah! Who’s side are you on?!”

Your best friend Sehun gives you a dirty look as he lets himself into your apartment, draping himself dramatically over your couch. The kid had only given you a ten-minute warning before showing up at your door at ten to midnight, so you were looking quite attractive in your shorts and hoodie. You rub the sleep out of your eyes and sigh as Sehun grabs the remote, snuggling into the pillows. He wasn’t going to be leaving for a while.

“Where’s Luhan?” He asks, stuffing a pillow behind his head. He always asked about your boyfriend, who had been a close friend of his in high school.

You toss a soda into his lap and curl up on the floor beside him. “On a business trip with Xiumin.” You yawn. “Now, do you want to tell me why you showed up to my place this late at night?”

Sehun sits up, biting his lip. “Um…I’m pretty sure I just got dumped.”

You blink at him. “You what?”

“Ahyoung dumped me tonight.”

“Are you sure?”

“Would you be?” He sighs, digging into his pocket and pulling something out. His girlfriend’s couple ring sat in his palm, and you pick it up, giving him a look of sympathy. “Did she say why?”

Sehun flops back onto the couch, staring at the ceiling. “No.” He frowns. “But if I’m on honest, I think she may have cheated on me. If she wasn’t, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s with some other guy.”

You shake your head, not sure what to say to comfort him. Sehun had been dating Choi Ahyoung, an up-and-coming trainee from another company. Sehun had liked her for ages, but you had always been a little suspicious of her.

She was so…lukewarm towards Sehun. He was always super sweet towards her, but she treated him like he wasn’t important. Sometimes he would call you when he was worried: Ahyoung hadn’t responded to a text, Ahyoung hadn’t called in a week, Ahyoung this, Ahyoung that. To be honest, you weren’t surprised at all. But Sehun wouldn’t here any of it, and right now, the last thing your best friend needed to hear was “I told you so.”

“Here.” You crack open the can of beer and sit it beside him. He stares at it. “Seriously?” He narrows his eyes at you. “You never drink.”

“And you ought to have better taste in women.” You say curtly. A tiny scolding comes out anyway. "Then I wouldn’t have to!“ 


Three hours later, you and Sehun lay sprawled on your patio, staring up the stars between drunk hiccups. It seemed like you passed the worst of it: Sehun tended to sexy dance and was always thoroughly convinced he could eat an endless supply of ramyun (which he totally could…you remind yourself to add it to the grocery list once you sober up) when he was drunk. But tonight he was relatively quiet, calmly sipping and sighing.



“Are you sure you’re okay?”

He sits up suddenly, dragging himself into a patio chair. “I’m fine.” He says sourly. You roll your eyes. “Are you sure about that?”

“Of course I am!” His voice rises. “What do I care if Ahyoung dumped me? I don’t need her! I don’t need anyone! I’m fine!”

You sigh, flinching as he throws his beer can into the railing and covers his face. “Sehun-ah, I know this is hard.” You slide beside him. “But you have me, and you have Luhan. Ahyoung doesn’t know what she lost yet, but I do.” You absently run a hand through his hair. “You’re an amazing person. You’re sweet and serious and talented, and she doesn’t deserve you. Not one bit.”



“If she doesn’t serve me…” He closes his eyes, and you’re surprised to a slight glisten of tears, “Then why does this hurt so much?”

“Because you fell hard for the wrong person, Sehun.” You sigh, pulling his head into your lap. “But someday, somebody else is going to do that, and the person they fall for will be you. That’s why this is kind of like a learning experience. Now you know how this feels.”

“If I cry…” He stares up into the sky, eyes moist. “…would you tell anyone?”

You pause. “No.”

“Not even Luhan?”

“Not even Luhan.”


“What are you guys doing out here?”

You blink away the crust in your eyes, staring up at Luhan. He’s looking at the two of you in awe. The apartment was covered in half-eaten bowls of ramyun and tissues and cans and plastic bags. You weren’t the type to party while he was away.

“Why are you asleep on the patio?” He snort with laughter. “Do I even want to know what happened here last night?”

You shake your head, trying to pull your fingers through your now-tangled hair. Sehun was stirring in the chair across from you, his eyes a little puffy but otherwise looking okay. “No, not really.” You say, squinting. “We’ll come in.” Luhan shrugs, observing the two of you. “You guys look like you could use some breakfast. Come in soon, okay?”

You nod, finally getting to your feet and collecting the trash that has piled up over night. You shove it into a plastic bag and head for the door, leaving Sehun alone. “Hey.” He grabs your wrist, tugging you back to him. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.” He says softly. “For last night.”

“Sure.” You smile at him. “Heartbreak doesn’t last forever, Sehun. Trust me.

"You know what?” Sehun burps loudly, and you laugh, waving away the fumes. “Heartbreak tastes kind of like ramyun.”


This is also an over due request~ I’m digging up some of the ones that are done that are buried in my drafts lol~ I’m probably going to do a clean-out of scenarios so if 28363629292 scenarios show up this week, it’s because I’m catching up haha! I hope you enjoyed this one! ~Jjangpanda


4x08 “Wishful Thinking”
The Moment in Which I Drown in Emotions about Dean and Lifesize Teddy Bears

Oh look, yet another moment of SPN that makes me want to cry about Ben Edlund’s writing. Because while his episodes on the surface always look ridiculous, they are also among the deepest and revealing ones too. And the teddy bear here sure is one of the most perfect examples of it, because this teddy bear is Dean (remember how in S9 Garth even described Dean as a “big old teddy bear underneath the hard shell”?). Somehow miraculously alive. Doesn’t know how, doesn’t why. Drinking to drown out his desperation and depressed thoughts of feeling like nothing matters. And in the end even trying to kill himself to find out he cannot die. I don’t think there could have been a better parallel to Dean’s post hell arc and troubles. Just like the teddy he is somehow miraculously alive again, he cannot die, but the Angels who rescued him keep him in the dark about their motives, so in order to be able to live with what happened to him and what he did Dean resumes to drinking to cover up how he truly feels: depressed to the bone. Sorry but: FEELS!

Trying to Debunk The Talentless Claim

I know some people have written this but I wanted to keep my self-written one on my blog. So, please do feel free to skip if you want to. (totally long over-dued post I made lightyears ago, which I dug up today while cleaning out my draft box. *facepalm* )

Note: long post ahead. You might want to grab a bottle of water or something to eat. 

Keep reading