Cassandra: VARRIC. You KNEW where he was this whole time and you LIED. Lied to me and the Inquisition when we needed him most. Instead, you bring me the wrong Hawke brother.
Varric: HEY, I brought you the exact RIGHT Hawke brother. Come on, Seeker… think about it. You know Hawke didn’t exactly have the greatest track record for keeping religious and political figures alive. Junior has this. He won’t turn this into New Kirkwall. He’s already kept the number of rampaging qunari to one. Give him some credit.
Varric: Maker’s furry nutsack. Cut this shit out before you have to explain to my editors why everything is getting submitted posthumously. I don’t want an “About the Author” written in the past tense, thanks.
[various crashing noises]
Carver: Now bloody what? What fresh Void am I walking into?
[grunting, furniture scuffing, panting]
Varric: You wanna put those claws away, Seeker?
Carver: Balls. I’m going to walk in on something that’s going to burn out my retinas, aren’t I? Son of a– EVERYONE BETTER BE WEARING A MINIMUM OF TWO PAIRS OF BREECHES BY THE TIME I GET UP THERE.
Carver: Forget your safe word, Varric?
Varric: Heh. Apparently it’s not “NOT IN THE FACE.” You’ll have to pardon the Seeker, kid. She’s a little perturbed over today’s events with your brother. I was merely trying to protect your honor before she started trying to punch a hole through my face.
Cassandra: Varric is a liar, Inquisitor! And a coward! And a thief!
Varric: You wanna jump in at any point, Junior?
Carver: What? And have her try to punch ME instead? Good luck, buddy.
???-SATURNOBE [Saturnian-Robel] -Dark/Ghost -The Shadow pokemon -Ability: Shadow Tag - Black Void*(HA) -Dex: “A living shadow, this pokemon can hide in dark places without being noticed. It is beleived this pokemon is responsable for the sighting of mysterious shadows in hunted houses.” -Moveset: -Curse -Shadow Sneak -Pursuit -Shadow Punch
–>Evolves at lv. 33 at night, between 12:00 and 4:00 am<–
???-SEPULCROUD [Sepulchrar-Shroud] -Dark/Ghost -The Darkness Pokemon -Ability: Shadow Tag - Black Void(HA) -Dex: “This pokemon avoids sunlight and traves during the day hiding in the shadows of other pokemon, or even humans. It is beleived it can posses others by merging with their shadows at night.” -Moveset: -Shadow Claw -Dark Pulse -Shadow Ball -Night Shade
*Black Void “Draws in all Dark-type moves to boost its Sp. Atk. stat ”
rohan babysat someone else’s stupid cat in exchange for a grand and humiliating favor, used heaven’s door to make sure the cat minded its manners while in his house, was nothing but prim and proper, etc.
before he knows it, he’s filled ¾ths of a sketchbook of cat gestures
it has a tiny meow. he researches the best onomatopoeia for this.
this has only lasted a few days, but when koichi or okuyasu or yukako arrive to pick up the carrier, rohan doesn’t let go at first. there’s a brief tug of war before he relents with a sassy, off-shoulder remark about catching them off guard
the moment they’re down his driveway he pulls up craigslist and adoption centers. he evaluates the 408 local candidates and sorts them down to one.
this one has the illusion of a shadowy monster crawling up her back.. a feeling rohan finds familiar… both in experience, and in ink on paper…
SHE IS ART
the listing describes her as placid, soft spoken, needing to be groomed often and a cuddler.
rohan gets in his fucking back to the future car and drives to the place and writes I WILL GIVE ROHAN THIS CAT IMMEDIATELY on someone’s face. it’s okay, he’ll throw a few 10k yen bills on their counter. whatever.
evaluates her slowly… slowly… rotates her like he’s a judge at a cat show and is looking for imperfections. she gives the softest ‘mreh’.
it is his now
he orders like nine thousand cat supplies on amazon for instant delivery.
at first, he uses heaven’s door on her to write down specific, non-troublemaking instructions on her, but then his prickly heart sees her lying there limp and feels uncomfortable so he finishes quickly.
‘she will pose elegantly if rohan points a camera at her’ ‘she will use whatever bed rohan permits her to’ ‘she will claw josuke in the balls if the time is opportune’
and other things
he gets extra mad if okuyasu manhandles her like LOOK SHE GOES LIMP IF YOU HOLD HER UPSIDE DOWN oku you are pending for a bending
This is what happened when I started headcanoning Mick as reluctant cat person.
They’re doing recon on a mission and Mick is loitering outside staking out a building. He hears a noise, looks around and sees the saddest, most bedraggled little scrap of fur he’s ever seen. It’s freezing cold and starting to rain so Mick thinks, fuck it, and picks up this tiny ginger kitten and puts it in his pocket. He figures it’ll be warm in his coat and he can drop it at a shelter before they leave and before anyone notices him being a softy.
Only, he forgets about it.
(while listening to Thomas D. - An alle Hinterbliebenen (to all those left behind). That song sends shivers down my spine. I hope you can find a good translation of its lyrics. If not, let me know)
Without announcement, he tapped the wooden frame with a tip of his boot and you opened the door to find him standing there with his usual sullen expression and a dark green cape wrapped tightly around his shoulders. He smelled like horses, sweat, gunpowder and things too sinister to name.
If he had come to you directly after mission before cleaning himself up, it must have been really bad.
My friends insist there's no difference between an aardvark and an anteater Prove them wrong pls (❤️ your blog btw)
“They both start with an “a,” have long snouts and rely on a diet of ants, but the similarities between anteaters and aardvarks end there. They are altogether different species. Anteaters belong to the suborder Vermilingua and aardvarks are the only living species of the order Tubulidentata. Aardvarks are found in Africa; anteaters in Central and South America. Aardvarks have claws for digging, but anteaters have paws with such dramatically long claws that they must ball up their paws for an awkward, knuckle-walking gate. Anteaters have more fur and small ears. Aardvarks have light course hair and large ears.”