classroom use

27 Dress Code Violations

@jilychallenge 04/2017 | @bantasticbeasts vs @anxiouspotter

Muggle AUs | “i get dress coded so you give me your jacket and we protest unfair regulations for girls together/you sass the teacher about how distracted you are by my shoulders”

Word Count: 2500

special shoutout to @jiilys. solidarity, sister

AO3


i.

She walks into English fifteen minutes late, wearing both a deeply unflattering smock and a scowl. Neither are an especially new look on her.

“Vector,” she says under her breath, as an answer to Mary McDonald’s unspoken question. It’s the answer to every question in the room. Ms Vector is notorious among them all for her very strict adherence to the school’s dress code.

“Yes, Miss Evans’ entrance was very exciting, but I’ll have your attention back to the lesson now, please,” says Ms McGonagall. James snaps back to attention. It’s for the best.

ii.

“Here,” James says, shrugging off his jacket and thrusting it toward Lily. She gives him this look like, fuck off, and James has to bite his tongue to stop from aggravating her. “They’re doing uniform checks up the hall. Just put it on.”

Evans gives him a very strange look, and it takes him a second to realise that it’s neutral.

She looks good in his jacket.

iii. 

Every third dress code violation results in a lunch time detention. It’s only October, and Lily’s already had six. She doesn’t look at James as she takes the seat three ahead and one to the left of him.

iv.

There’s a thump from somewhere in the back of the classroom, and McGonagall isn’t planning on looking up - it sounds like it came from the general vicinity of Potter and Black, and that’s certainly not a situation she wants to engage with - but the entire class is already turned around to see what the fuss is.

She strides down the aisle between the desks, and is about three years past surprised to find James Potter lying on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, glasses knocked aside.

“Am I boring you so much that you decided to take a nap?” she asks, and James gives this wicked smile, and here we go–

“Sorry, Miss, I can’t get up. It’s Evans’ shoulders - they’re overwhelming me. I simply can’t do anything until she covers them up. Sirius, tell me when it’s safe.”

He’s a funny boy, she’ll give him that. “Potter, get up. This is hardly the time for foolishness.”

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How Unpleasant

Chlonath Week Day 1: Bickering/Flirting. A day late, but I was busy. TwT

~*~

Chloe Bourgeois did not understand what the heck was so great about Nathanael Kurtzberg.

She’d gone to middle school with the guy. As far as she knew, he was a weird little twerp with long hair and nothing going for him in the body department. So why was it that every other girl she passed in the hallway seemed to be giggling over him? One summer vacation could not possibly change such a “not” to a “hot.”

“Sorry Chloe,” Sabrina said as she led the way to the art classroom during lunch. “I don’t know why I keep forgetting my biology textbook in there.”

Chloe snorted. “What are you apologizing for? Just hurry up so we can get some real food.” She’d made a reservation for them at their favorite restaurant between classes that morning and she wasn’t about to lose it. Sabrina had been craving their food for weeks.

When they entered the art classroom, Chloe looked around with a mixture of curiosity and disdain. She liked art, but she hated the art process. Too dirty. Too hard. Adrien had accidentally spilled paint on her favorite purse when they were kids, and she’d screamed bloody murder until her father bought her a new one. She forgave Adrien, of course, but the whole ordeal had left her traumatized.

There were other students in the room: a girl putting together some complicated sculpture, a trio of three others crocheting in the corner, a boy painting a fruit bowl, and a redhaired guy sitting on the windowsill with a sketchbook balanced on his long legs.

Chloe did a double take.

Long red hair pulled back into a short ponytail. Sea green eyes narrowed in concentration. Those parts were certainly familiar, but the jaw… the arm muscles… the longer legs and the form-fitting shirt that left nothing to the imagination…

“Can I help you, Chloe?”

Her eyes darted from body to face. Nathanael Kurtzberg stared straight at her.

And he was hot. 

With growing horror, Chloe realized that her mouth was open—she hadn’t just been caught staring, she’d been caught gawking.

“No! You can’t!” she screamed, causing everyone else in the room to stare at her as well. Humiliation turned her cheeks crimson. She had to salvage the situation somehow. “What, you thought that I was staring at you? Get real! It’s not my fault you decided to sit in the window. A-And who does that, anyway? Overly sensitive, artsy freaks like you?”

Something dark flickered across Nathanael’s face for a moment. And then, to her shock and perverted delight, he smiled. “I see,” he said. He turned his attention back to his sketchbook. “That’s fair. You’ve never been much to look at yourself.”

Chloe squeaked with fury, but by then Sabrina had scurried to her side, textbook in hand. “Come on, Sabrina!” she snapped, too flustered to even think up a decent response to the insult. She’d have one ready for the next time she saw him in the hallway.

Because she was never stepping foot in the art room again.

I had unrestricted access to a cintiq for a few days and this happened

based on this post

Hockey Pucks | Jungkook (m)

Prompt: Um, Jungkook is a hockey player, but basically what happened was that it had very little to do with hockey and very much to do with sex. You’re both college students and apparently opposites really do attract just like they do in the movies.

Warnings: (18+) use of marijuana, smut (lmao what’s new), and an accidental mommy kink

Word Count: 8.4k

A/N: Yo, this spiraled very quickly and turned into a monster long fic. ANYWAy thanks 4 readin. No excuses or regerts…

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid


Originally posted by tanktoptiger


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Park Chanyeol//The Rhythm of Hate - Part 1

Originally posted by softadulthood

Summary: You hate each other, even though you’re soulmates. You try and stay away from each other, but a shared course and a project is determined to keep you two facing off. (Part 1/Part 2)
Scenario: Soulmate!AU, college!AU
Word Count: 5,924

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Before I start this post, I want to say that everyone’s orientation is different! I’ve seen that a lot of schools have orientation over the summer, weeks before classes start. My school, I guess because only a few of us are from here and the majority of students are out of the state/country, we had orientation week starting on move-in day, the same week classes started. That’s why I will be discussing move-in day and the first day of classes here, though yours might be a completely separate experience. Let’s get started!

Move-In Day

  • Dress for a lot physical activity. You are going to be lugging your shit up and down stairs (elevators get full, if you even have them) all day, walking back and forth to your car, and once you get everything in your room, you will have to unpack and loft your bed, etc. You are going to be sweaty and exhausted by the time it’s all over. I wanted to still be cute so I wore spandex, my Vandy t-shirt and hat, and a full face of makeup lol. I know you might want to make a good first impression on your roommate and new classmates, but everyone will be wearing what looks like workout clothes. Don’t wear jeans or a dress or something. It’s August, it’s hot, you’ll regret it.
  • Be patient. Oh my god, I swear 90% of the memories I have of move-in day are just me waiting. Waiting in the car for the line to move towards the dorms, waiting in line to get my key, waiting for a dolly to free up, waiting to get inside the elevator, waiting for the stairs to clear up. It’s so boring, especially when you’re so excited to just finally be there. Be prepared to wait and try to appreciate your last few moments before college ruins your life (just kidding!).
  • Brace yourself for something to go wrong. No matter how organized your school is, chaos is inevitable on move-in day. You will have planned according to a schedule they gave you, and something will not go the way it’s supposed to. Thousands of freshmen who don’t know anything all in the same place at once is a recipe for disaster. Just don’t stress about it cause it will all work itself out. Honestly, that’s a philosophy to live by for your entire college career, not just move-in day.

Orientation Week

  • I can’t even explain how busy you’ll be. Starting from the first floor meeting we had on move-in day, the entire next seven days were packed full of activities and meetings and ceremonies. I still have my freshmen guide with the itenerary of all the things we had to do, and it was pages long. Everyday we would wake up at like 8, and have things to do until after midnight. I was so busy, I didn’t even have time to be on my phone, and I love social media. You will be so tired, and it will get old really quick. I don’t really have any advice, but through the exhaustion, remember to try and appreciate this chaotic time and stay in the moment. You’ll never again experience the freshness and excitement of your first week at college, soon you’ll get used to it all and you’ll wish for that feeling back.
  • You don’t have to attend everything. Like I said, you will be exhausted. You won’t want to wake up at 6 am for the Freshman Sunrise (i did and i regretted it), or to take the class picture where you have to stand still for an hour and you can’t even see yourself in the photo (again, i should’ve slept in). You might feel obligated to go to everything, but if you just need a break, then take that break. Orientation is overwhelming. 
  • Don’t freak out if you miss a required meeting. We had lots of events that were marked required. It’s inevitable that people miss these, due to sleeping through an alarm, or reading the time wrong, or getting lost on campus since you don’t know where everything is. Lots of the time, they only mark it as required to scare people into going when there’s no real consequence if you don’t. Even if there is a consequence, you won’t get into any major trouble the first week. You’re freshmen, they understand. Do try to make it to them, though. The best way to do this is to find friends or other people who are in that same section and go together.
  • Don’t stress about making friends. It is quite literally impossible to not make friends during orientation week. You will have to attend so many things with the same group(s) of people that you’ll bond over that alone. You don’t even have to try, so if you’re not a social person, don’t worry. As long as you don’t stay silent in a corner, you’ll have plenty of people to hang out with. 
  • Don’t stress about keeping the friends you do make. You will meet a million people, and have a million new numbers in your phone. You will have a hard time matching everyone’s names to their faces. People form connections really quickly, that’s just human nature, but this is especially heightened in university when everyone is away from home and no one knows anyone. Don’t feel like you have to stay attached to the same five people you became best friends with after two days for fear of not finding anyone else to be close to. Lots of people meet their real friends at the beginning of the year, but most people don’t. All of the pictures and videos I have from my entire first semester are with and of people I don’t even speak to anymore, people who, frankly, I can hardly stand to look at now. During orientation, you’ll gravitate towards anyone, but you’ll soon realize you don’t know them at all and they might turn out to be shitty people. I met all the friends I have now second semester through the LGBT group on campus, and they’re great. Point is, don’t feel too attached to your orientation buddies. You will find your people, even if it takes a while.

First Day of Classes

  • Find the buildings where your classes are held beforehand. Yes, I mean physically walk to them and find the exact classroom, don’t just use Google Maps to make sure you can get there in ten minutes. I knew the names of all the buildings and their general location, but then I found out some buildings are attached to each other and numbered in a strange order, then you finally find the right building but can’t find the right floor and hallway. I was late to all of my classes the first day. University buildings are so confusing. You will have trouble, I promise you. Do yourself a favor and figure out how to get to all of your classrooms sometime earlier in the week. You will feel great about not being that embarrassing freshmen asking the upperclassmen for directions (who are happy to help, but will laugh at you just a little bit).
  • Introduce yourself to the professor before or after class. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want, but it can’t hurt. Just shake their hand and make sure they can match your face to the name. Doing this the first day makes it easier to establish contact with them later in the semester, which you’ll probably have to do. Don’t worry, you’ll see lots of the other students in your lecture doing this, too. Just hop on in line.
  • Double check to make sure you don’t have any assignments due/papers to bring. This is unlikely cause you don’t have summer work in college (at least to my knowledge) and it’s never happened to me, but I had friends whose professors had assigned them work for the the first day of class. This is really ugly, I know, but just check your email and Blackboard to make sure there’s nothing to do. 

This is longer than I anticipated, so thanks if you read it all! I hope this helps someone out. Orientation is a chaotic mess but so so fun, cause it’s the only time you’ll ever be able to experience the fun of college without the stress of the work. Up next is advice on living with a roommate (and boy, do I have advice for that). Previous posts:

Application Process

Choosing/Changing Majors

Able Bodied Feminism Is...

Thinking “nobody should be forced to carry a disabled child to term” is a good argument for abortion rights.

Not realizing that widespread forced sterilization of disabled women is still happening.

Upping Margaret Sanger despite her being a racist and a supporter of Eugenics.

Thinking that the only influence that Frida Kahlos disabilities had on her art was putting her in a lot of pain.

Not considering disability to be as important axis of oppression as race or gender.

Making fun of “frivolous white girls” when they are asking for a lot of disability accommodations for work or school.

Talking about how brave of a woman Anne Sullivan was while ignoring her disability and Helen Kellers own achievements.

 Seeing transgender as being chiefly a medical issue and being shitty to trans women as a result in order to “protect mentally well cis girls spaces”.

Insisting that women don’t deserve to be babied because “we aren’t handicapped, we can do things on our own”.

Glossing over how race and disability intersect, because ableism isn’t seen as being important.

Glorifying the achievements of women who subject their disabled children to cures and treatments that the child doesn’t actually want.

Not making discussions of consent accessible to disabled young girls and boys.

Putting zero effort into bringing sex education to more special ed classrooms in the US and beyond.

Insulting old feminists by taunting them with images of canes, walkers, and being crotchety witches.

Disrespecting housewife jobs when it is often the only work disabled women can do consistently. Same with sex work.

Not including disabled women in body positive activities.

Medicalizing bi and asexuality.

Making fun of MRAs by calling them autistic,insane, or suggesting they have small penises.

REQUESTED - Not Enough

Request:  Heeeey, I saw you had your requests open, and I also read your Familiarity fic AND GURL KILLED IT! Well, I’m shy and this is a weird request so… Yeah. Well, I was wondering, could you do a Peter Parker X Reader with angst? Like. ANGST. STUFF THAT FIC WITH PURE TEENAGE ANGST OR SOMETHING AND THEN IT ENDS WITH SOME FLUFF? Thank you! - Anon

Pairing: Peter Parker X Plus size!Reader

Word Count: 3,440

Warning: Cursing, Self- deprication(The one thing I’m good at), some angst, Peter being a cairing, sugary FLUFF boyfriend

(A/N): Ok, this have been on my request list from before Valentine’s day, I AM SO SORRY, PERSON THAT REQUESTED THIS. I JUST HAVE THIS HUGE BLOCK WRITER AND IT’S PISSING ME OFF AAAAAAA. *inhales* Well,I’ve been wanting to write a plus size!Reader for some time, by now an I do intend on doing one, but with Bucky, so… Yeah. Hope you enjoy this and sorry for any grammar mistakes!

MASTERLIST


Originally posted by dailytomholland


“And I know that it wasn’t your fault that you had to cancel our last date, so I was thinking, would you like to pass at my place today?” When you didn’t get an answer, you mumbled, noticing that he wasn’t listening to you “Peter?”

Your heart seemed to sink in your chest when you followed his gaze and saw that he was staring at Lis. Ned frowned his brows when you stopped talking, since he was actually listening to what you were saying.

The sigh came out of you as you turned on your heels, hugging yourself when you saw he continue to walk, too focused on her to miss your heat.

“Dude!” Snapping his eyes back to an angry Ned, he looked around, finally noticing that you weren’t there anymore.

“Where is Y/N?” His best friend’s bitter chuckle made Peter frown his brows in confusion.

“She left after saying that it wasn’t your fault that you missed your last date. Oh, sorry, I mean: She left after she caught you staring that Lis and ignoring her being the best and most supportive girlfriend you’ll ever have.”

“Damn it.” Peter humbled, massaging the bridge of his nose when he got his focus back to you, hearing you sigh, and he knew that sigh. You would make it every time you were in front of the mirror, looking at your body after trying a new dress, shirt, pants, whatever clothing.

If I was skinnier.” He knew you had a problem accepting your body shape and believing that he loved it and loved you, especially after him having a “thing” with Lis, the “Hot, Amazing, Skinny, Model”, as you would refer her as.

“Seriously, Peter. You really think she doesn’t notice you twisting your neck to look at your ex? You really think that she won’t start to imagine that you’re turning her down because you’re having a thing with Lis? Do you even imagine how she must feel?”

“I don’t have a ‘thing’ with Lis! Not anymore!” Ned huffed at his answer, denying with his head and walking to his class

“Is not to me you should say that to.”

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Yes Sir Part 2

Yes Sir by evansrogerskitten

Part Two: You’re Mine 

Professor John Winchester x Reader

Read Part 1  Series Masterlist

Reader’s affair with Professor John Winchester develops. Emotions run hot and so does the smut.

A/N: This is for @roxy-davenport‘s Birthday Challenge. Happy Birthday dahling! My prompts: Jealous sex. Horror movie: Psycho. Quote: “You heard me. Take. It. Off. Now. ” This is also for @mrs-squirrel-chester‘s Album Fanfiction Challenge- “Lonely Star“ by the Weekend. Prompts and lyrics are bolded. Gifs aren’t mine. WC: 4977 | On AO3 

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit, Smut, Oral sex, Anal play, minor breathplay, language, alcohol, so much dirty talk, unprotected sex, fluff- so basically, my usual. Enjoy! xoxo


“C’mon, go out with us on Friday.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna hit up a friend’s birthday party and then the bars. Get in a little trouble maybe?”

I giggled at my two male classmates who were lounging on desks across from me. They were flirting, coaxing me to go out with them that weekend. I flirted back, smiling even though I knew I probably wouldn’t go. I’d known them all year and they were both cute. And a girl has to have a little fun, right?

Problem was I didn’t really want to go out with them. I already belonged to someone else.

I was having an affair with my college professor. Might call it foolish, perhaps even illegal. But the only trouble I wanted to get into was with Professor Winchester.

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Siren’s song (Brett Talbot)

Brett x Reader


NSFW content + gif under the cut

Requested by @dtescohmi



You took a deep breath, inhaling some fresh air before you took your first step onto the parking lot of your new school. Students were covering almost the whole area and you found it surprising that so many students went to an expensive prep school instead of the local high school.


Beacon Hills were known for their hoard of supernatural creatures and you thought that maybe attending to Devenford prep could make some distance and keep yourself out of trouble, since you were supernatural as well.


You step in to the office to get your schedule and to your discontent, the first lesson of the day were canceled. It wasn’t a big school and you decided to go to the field after buying a soda at the cafeteria, you often spent free period studying on the bleachers at your old school.

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Hybrid House Aesthetics: S L Y T H E R C L A W
Founder:
Septimus Slytherclaw
Colors: Teal and Obsidian
Mascot: Parrotfish
Attributes: Calculating | Witty | Fierce | Innovative | Seductive
Common Room: Located behind a sliding panel in the potions classroom, Slytherclaws must, using clues, identify and drink the correct potion from a set of seven, which changes every week. This entry technique is where Severus Snape got the idea for his defense of the Philosopher’s Stone. 
2015-2016 Prefects: Yuki Ishizuka, Jake Alvarez

Sharp as glass and twice as bright, Slytherclaws are perhaps the fiercest academic competitors in the school, for not only do they have the intelligence to succeed, but the ambition to do whatever it takes. Often excelling at delicate arts such as potions and transfiguration above all, many of the most famous names in the magical sciences are “former” Slytherclaws, but, as any of them will tell you, “Once a Slytherclaw, forever a Slytherclaw.” Their modern common room contains a fountain and a neatly-organized “library” of perfectly-brewed potion bottles arranged by color so that students can compare their own. 

Teacher meeting.

Author’s Note: I’m sorry guys but I’m trash and after I saw this post in @papi-chulo-bucky ‘s blog I couldn’t stop myself and I wrote this. yes, dishonour on my cow. Anyway, I hope you all like it! Feel free to comment and send me requests!

Also, in this AU! Bucky does not have a metal arm.

Warnings: Language, mild choking, spanking, unprotected sex (Use a condom kids!), Oral sex (F. rec), Dom! both reader and Bucky. Only 18+. If you’re a minor, go away.

Pairing: Au!Single dad Bucky Barnes x Reader.

Words: 2,294


You sighed and hurried, watching the school at the end of the street. Your daughter was following you, calmer than you were. You were late thanks to your damn boss, who had been an asshole as usual. 

“Emily…do you think you’ll mind if we run?” you asked to your eight years old daughter who laughed.

“The last one buys cookies!”

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female characters are NOT a villain for m/m ships

lmao wanna know what i find disgusting? when female characters are used as an antagonist/dilemma to a male/male relationship like? what? have you ever met a girl? or a human being? people do not act like that! (some do but that’s not the point) if u want a gay ship, fine. go ahead. im not saying not to ship it. but if do have a female character that is used a plot device for said gay ship  (’i belong with him!!1!1!!’)then i have a problem and i will fight you (turn on your location hoe)

anonymous asked:

In 8th grade for the whole second semester whenever I saw my science teacher I'd say 'peel the avocado Mr Selch' in this weird Mickey Mouse/Pinocchio voice and he'd get so frustrated and yell 'WHAT DOES IT MEAN' one time during lunch, one of the other teachers let me use her classroom phone to call him and I said it and hung up and I could hear his faint yelling from down the hall. I had his class right after lunch and when I came in he gave me this look of suffering. He was really cool though.

I wish to know what it means

Prompt: Lily’s about to meet James’ parents when she has a minor mental breakdown. 

“Did you know he was a miracle baby?” Lily Evans demanded, storming into the Gryffindor common room and coming to a stop in front of Sirius Black, who had been enjoying a nice nap on the couch.

Sirius blinked awake, bleary-eyed but still somehow annoyingly perfect-looking. “Huh?”

“Your boyfriend! I mean, technically, my boyfriend, but who are we kidding, you’re Sirius and James, he’ll always be your boyfriend.”

Sirius smirked. “We were each other’s first kiss. Let me set the scene: It was a beautiful starry night-”

“Merlin, Black, everyone at Hogwarts knows that story. I have a bloody point.”

“Really?” Sirius yawned pointedly. “‘Cause I haven’t heard one yet.”

“I know,” Lily snarled, grabbing a pillow and whacking him over the head with it with each word, “because you won’t! Fucking! Shut! Up!” She stopped to examine her handiwork and groaned. “Merlin, I messed up your perfect hair, how do you still look like a bloody underwear model?”

He nodded sagely. “Turns out it’s not so much the physical appearance as the raw sexual magnetism. Once I broke my nose at a bar and managed to hook up with the bartender while it was still bleeding.”

“The awful thing about that is it might not even be bullshit,” Lily whined, sitting down in a huff and leaning against him, throwing her head back against the couch.

Sirius grinned down at her. “Nah, total lie.”

She laughed a little. “Isn’t it, like, against Marauder Code or something to admit that?”

“You’re already on the verge of a breakdown,” he shrugged. “Didn’t wanna freak you out any more. Never say I don’t do anything for you, Evans.”

“Thanks, I’ll remember that next time you volunteer to show first years to their classes and then 'accidentally’ send them to walk in on me and James fooling around.”  

He grinned innocently, “I could’ve sworn Minnie said she was gonna be using that classroom that day.”

“Don’t bother. Peter told James you found us on the Marauders’ Map.”

“That snitch!” Sirius made to get out of his seat, but Lily snagged his arm and yanked him back down.

“Not so fast, bucko. I have a point. James is a miracle baby.”

“You said.”

Lily ignored him. “Which is, like, that’s great. Yay. Congrats, Mr and Mrs. Potter. But also, like, hi, hello, did he really need to tell me that?

"Huh?”

“I mean I’m already nervous enough about this, I just can’t - I don’t -”

Ahh. Finally, Sirius had a clue where this was going. “Meeting the parents is stressful, Lily, sure, but you’re much more sane than me or James, I’m sure you’ll be fine-”

“Fine? FINE? I will not be FINE, Sirius Black.” She stood up in a huff, staring down at him wide-eyed and waving her arms to illustrate how not 'fine’ she would be. “Picture it, I walk into their house- no, not house, manor, Potter Manor, how could I fucking forget? And I say, Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Rich Pureblood Bazillionaire, I’m the girl who stomped on your miracle baby son’s heart for six years, but now that he got fit and aged into his trust fund I’m dating him, yay for me! Except not yay for you because in addition to seeming like a gold-digger I’m also a muggleborn and probably going to get your perfect wonderful very very fit and rich and pureblooded son killed by a Death Eater before he’s thirty and even if he somehow lives he’s never gonna be able to go into politics now like you probably want him to because he can’t have a muggleborn wife by his -”

“Did you just say wife? ”

“What? Huh? No! Wife? I don’t believe in wives! Marriage? Pah! Marriage is a societal construct built to keep women down, I mean, he gets to be Mr and keep his name but I’m Mrs. Potter? What’s with - oh, buggering fuck!” she cut herself off because Sirius had leapt to his feet, pointing down at her triumphantly.

“Merlin alive, you did! You didn’t just say it, you bloody well meant it, too!” Lily jumped up too, trying to silence him, but he danced just out of her reach, taunting. “You want to marry him and have two point five children and a white picket fence and - oh, fuck.”

“What?”

Sirius smiled and shook his head, grabbing her shoulders as he did it. “Nothing. Nothing, Evans. You just - he’s gonna be so happy.” And then his smile dropped a little and he looked so very lost that Lily surged forward and wrapped him in her arms.

“I hope you don’t think you’re getting out of godfathering every single one of our 2.5 children, Sirius Black,” she said into his shoulder, and she couldn’t see his face, but she could feel him smile.

But he was Sirius Black, Dark and Mysterious and Without Human Emotion so he quickly disengaged and they both pretended that didn’t just happen. And then he said, “Right, well, first off, the correct term is not Bazillionaire, it’s Richie McRicherson.   Shit, Evans, you’re meeting the parents, can’t you at least pretend to have it together?” She giggled a little, albeit nervously, and he dropped the joking tone. “They’re gonna love you.”

“But what if they don’t?” she whispered.

“They will.”

“You don’t know-“

“Course I do.”

“How could you possibly-?”

“Simple science, Evans. They’ve got James’ DNA, and the kid hasn’t been able to stay away from you for seven years. They’re programmed to love you.”

“But-“

“Listen. You want to marry Prongs now, right?

“I – well – yes, but-“

“Okay. He came home fourth year and told his mum he wanted to marry you. I’d heard it all before so I left to go fuck around outside. Came back half an hour later, the poor bastard was still talking about you. How you made a daisy chain for this first year that missed her family and you were the first person to sit at another House’s table for a meal since the war started and the time you told ol’ Sluggy you were glad you weren’t in Slytherin ‘cause you didn’t fancy having to cheer for three Chasers who couldn’t get the Quaffle through the hoop if it were bigger than Slug’s potbelly. He finally gets to the end and Mrs. Potter says, ‘well, I hope you get her, James. She sounds like about the only girl in the world who could ever set you straight.’”

“Oh.”

Both looked at the ground until Sirius blurted, “I didn’t remember the stuff he said because I think it’s sweet or anything, I just heard it so much. Like, over and over and over again. It was annoying. I don’t think you guys are cute.”

“Okay.” Her lips twitched.

“I don’t! Really!”

“Okay. I believe you.” But she couldn’t keep her smile hidden.

“No, you don’t! But you should!” He poked her in the chest. “I’m Sirius Black! I’m hard and mean! I don’t care about romance at all-

“Of course you don’t.”

“How about you just agree never to speak of this to James?”

“Speak of what?” James’s sudden voice was husky in her ear. Lily sucked in a breath as her boyfriend’s warm hands slid around her waist and she leaned back into his chest.

“Oh, nothing!” she said airily, “Just that Sirius Black is a massive ponce who keeps a diary of everything nice we ever say about each other-“

“You fucking liar!”

“Oh, I knew that!” Lily could hear James’s shit-eating grin without looking. “Sometimes in the middle of the night he goes and looks out over the fields of Hogwarts, crooning the Hobgoblins’ love songs into the wind –“ James’ coughed pretentiously and shifted into a high falsetto  - “Put your waaaaaaaaand on me, baaaaaabaaaaaaaay! I just wanna feel your chaaaaaaaaaaaaarms.”

“Fucking bullshit, all of this!” Sirius yelled as Lily laughed so hard she bent over at the waist, bringing James down with her, even as he transitioned into the chorus.

Sirius leapt atop them both, nearly bringing the whole pile down, hitting James anywhere he could reach and demanding that he stop singing. When he’d had finally punched James hard enough to shut him up – “Ow, Sirius, leave me out of this, didn’t your mother ever teach you not to hit girls?” “Sorry Evans, but if you’re a casualty in this battle I’m not gonna cry myself to sleep at night.” “Oh, you wound me!” “Haven’t we just been over how much I don’t care?” – and clambered off them, grumbling, James turned Lily around in his arms and murmured, “Ready, love?”

“Yeah.” she said, thinking not about her blood status or his money or his genius potioneer father but about the boy in front of her who once convinced the Hogwarts centaurs to sing her Happy Birthday, and meaning it. “Yeah, I am.”