classic meatballs

anonymous asked:

I work for a mostly east coast convenience store (gotta have a go fuck yourself) and I'm so. So tired of explaining ebt cards don't work on hot food. I'm sorry u can't get 12 meatball classics please stop harassing my employees

Dinner||Mike and Hunter

Mike was so happy he would get to cook for Hunter today. He had prepared some spaghetti and meatballs, a classic. He wasn’t exactly happy that Hunter had taken his picture today, but deep down, he found it adorable. He checked over the pasta, then his phone in case Hunter decided to text again, then back to the pasta.

Shenmue, the beloved Sega Dreamcast game, had some crazy ideas about fun: A third of the game is spent working forklifts, and the last two hours are a hiking sim. While the plot supposedly centers on tracking down your father’s killer, you can also waste countless hours playing anachronistic Sega Genesis games, rummaging through other people’s sock drawers, or marveling at the exquisitely researched, historically accurate ‘80s Japan weather.

So it’s a bit ironic that, if you spend too long exploring the elaborate world the developers went through extreme lengths to create, the bad guy shows up at your house and dick-punches you to death.

The game begins in December 1986, and from then on it advances at a pace of one day per hour. The story isn’t that long, so you’ll probably finish the game around mid-January – just in time to watch the Patrick Dempsey classic Meatballs III: Summer Job. However, the game is secretly on a time limit that ends on April 15, 1987. If you get distracted (or, more likely, repeatedly fail the mandatory, out of nowhere, poorly explained stealth sections), your father’s killer, Lan Di, tracks youdown and kills you. There’s no warning beyond a vague dream where another character tells you, “When the cherry blossoms fall, the dragon shall descend on you.”

The same thing happens in Shenmue II, which moves the “action” to Hong Kong. Waste too much time on arcade games or duck racing and Lan Di this time materializes behind you in an empty void and kills you. Then he kills your literal dream woman and steals her power, because the game goes full anime.

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