classic blunders

Review: The Mistborn Trilogy

A warning for the wise: if you have an exam coming up, and need to study, do not read this series. Should you be planning what books to pack for a trip away with friends, put this series down; it can wait. Your social life and your trip will thank you. But, if you are like me and perfectly enjoy stabbing yourself in the foot and finding yourself awake at 3 A.M. the night before a big exam, reading what you swear is the last chapter for the day, then please, pick up The Final Empire. Don’t say I didn’t warn you though.

Mistborn follows the story of Vin, an orphaned street thief who finds herself adopted into a band of thieves planning the biggest heist in recorded history, one which, should all go well, would end with a slave uprising, the fall of the nobility, and the coup of the tyrannical, and supposedly immortal Lord Ruler. The series is well balanced with fast paced action, mystery, and a healthy enough dose of classic fantasy trope subversion to keep readers continuously on their toes. To say anything more would be to spoil, but suffice to say, this was all I required to pick up the first book.

Set in a grim world only just entering its industrial age, Mistborn lies squarely within the realm of high fantasy. And in that genre, Sanderson effortlessly marks himself out from his peers. His worldbuilding is exquisite: each city we enter feels alive and different, and the different cultures and religions are all superbly fleshed out. Sanderson knows just how long to spend worldbuilding too. He knows just when we require a cursory glance and the illusion of depth, versus the times we require more detail to make the world seem believable. Unlike many authors, he knows not to bore with information dumps, opting rather instead to weave the lore seamlessly into the narrative, occasionally having the characters asking the same questions as the reader, a situation which in less capable hands would seem garish and annoying, but he manages to keep it intriguing.

What is most outstanding about his worldbuilding however is his magic system. I have heard Allomancy to be described as a Full Metal Alchemist-esque magic system, in the way that there are, to an almost scientific degree, rules that both the readers and the characters know of, and yet still enough mystery and vagueness that it remains magical. The rules also make sure that the magic can never be used as a deus ex machina to get our protagonists out of trouble easy. Allomancy is also unique in how it works - it has the benefit of being an incredibly simple idea done very well. And when we start encountering Allomantic fights, Sanderson never once fails to make you feel the breakneck pace of the combat, or the heightened danger, or the incredible power wielded by the Allomancers; and he never slows it down with unnecessary collateral destruction. Pages of fighting flip by in seconds and leave you standing breathless among the corpses of our hero’s enemies.

Speaking of heroes, the series’ biggest selling point is arguably it’s protagonist. In a genre plagued by the frankly uncomfortable number of male protagonists and underdeveloped female characters, Vin stands squarely apart. She is incredibly well fleshed out: strong, vulnerable, feminine, and badass, with none of the sexist “not like other girls” bullshit. She is her own character, with her own agency, flaws, insecurities, likes and dislikes and is just a very believably written girl, albeit with super powers. The other characters too are never boring or interchangeable, and the character dynamics come across vividly the moment they set foot in the scene. The one gripe I would put forward is that, in concentrating on making Vin a well-rounded character, Sanderson fell victim to the classic blunder of not including many other prominent female roles. While other female characters do exist, it is arguable if all the books pass Bedchel, which although not the best of markers, is still disappointing. Sanderson has, however, expressed his regret at this oversight, and is working to make sure his other books are better. And while this is most definitely a flaw in the series, it is not one I would consider a deal breaker, especially when given how well Vin, and indeed, the rest of the entire series is written.

Another point I would like to touch upon may verge into spoiler territory. I shall be as vague as possible, but if you do not wish your reading experience be tainted at all, I suggest you skip the upcoming paragraph.

One thing Sanderson did well in this series, which I have seen few authors do this well, is deal with an explicitly mentally ill character. At one point in the series, a character falls into depression. They lose all motivation and purpose in their life, and each day becomes a chore for them. Thanks to the writing, you can really feel the sheer slog of depression, the completely lifelessness of the characters’ existence, get into their skin in a way that is eye opening for those who have never experienced it, and comforting for those who have, altogether without drying the narrative flow, or becoming a dead weight. It is something small, but handled well, and for someone like me who deals with depression, a comfort to read.

Overall, The Mistborn Trilogy is a masterclass in high fantasy literature. The worldbuilding is top notch, the characters are flawed, believable and ultimately lovable, the magic inventive and immersive, and the fights pristine. Whether you are a veteran fantasy fan looking for something different from the classic sword-and-sorcery, or a teenager who needs a good female role model in their books, I could not recommend Mistborn enough. It will grab you tight, and take you on an adventure you will not be able to put down, and leave you three books later emotionally compromised in the best of ways.

Scores

Mistborn: The Final Empire: 9.5/10

Mistborn: The Well of Ascension: 9.0/10

Mistborn: The Hero of Ages: 8.5/10

Overall: 9.5/10

(Note: Overall score is not an average, but rather a mark of how well each of the books tie into and enhance each other and how complete the series feels)

[Instagram]

  • Tobias: So it is down to you, and it is down to me.
  • [Gumball (disguised) moves closer]
  • Tobias: [holding a knife to Penny’s throat] If you wish her dead, by all means, keep moving forward.
  • Gumball: Let me explain--
  • Tobias: There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen.
  • Gumball: Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?
  • Tobias: There will be no arrangement, [holding the knife closer] and you're killing her.
  • Gumball: But if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse.
  • Tobias: I'm afraid so. I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
  • Gumball: You're that smart?
  • Tobias: Let me put it this way: have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
  • Gumball: Yes.
  • Tobias: Morons.
  • Gumball: Really. [pause] In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.
  • Tobias: For the princess?
  • [Gumball nods]
  • Tobias: To the death?
  • [Gumball nods]
  • Tobias: I accept.
  • Gumball: Good. Then pour the wine.
  • [As Tobias pours the wine, Gumball pulls out a small vial, and uncorks it]
  • Gumball: Inhale this, but do not touch.
  • Tobias: [sniffing the vial] I smell nothing.
  • Gumball: What you do not smell is called Iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.
  • Tobias: Hmm.
  • [Gumball turns away from Tobias with the goblets, and pours the poison in. Goblets replaced on the table, one in front of each.]
  • Gumball: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right...and who is dead.
  • Tobias: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
  • Gumball: You've made your decision then?
  • Tobias: Not remotely. Because Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
  • Gumball: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
  • Tobias: WAIT TILL I GET GOING! Where was I?
  • Gumball: Australia.
  • Tobias: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
  • Gumball: You're just stalling now.
  • Tobias: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
  • Gumball: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
  • Tobias: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!
  • Gumball: Then make your choice.
  • Tobias: I will, and I choose— [pointing behind Gumball] What in the world can that be?
  • Gumball: [looking behind him] What? Where?
  • [Tobias switches the cups]
  • Gumball: I don't see anything.
  • Tobias: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. [starts chuckling]
  • Gumball: What's so funny?
  • Tobias: I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
  • [they both drink]
  • Gumball: You guessed wrong.
  • Tobias: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!! [starts laughing and then falls dead]
  • [Gumball starts untying Penny]
  • Penny: Who are you?
  • Gumball: I'm no one to be trifled with. That is all you ever need know.
  • Penny: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
  • Gumball: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to Iocane powder.

anonymous asked:

Hey, I thought your voice work in BotW was superb, but unfortunately kind of suffered due to the fact that nintendo pulled a rather... classic Localization blunder: they didn't re-animate the cutscenes (like in Witcher 3) to take into account other languages. Some of the voice soundbites reminded me of early dubbed anime, where the voices were trying to convey the same message in a language that is not nearly as information dense in the same time frame and set of lipflaps as another.

I like to tell people “go look at a comparison video between Sonic Adventure 2 Battle’s (original) Japanese recording and the English Dub set to Japanese lip flaps”, because that is literally the exact same process that happened with Breath of the Wild - the lip flaps are matched exactly to the original Japanese recordings.

The problem is that UNLIKE Dreamcast-era games, Breath of the Wild had technology advanced enough to replicate actual vowel/phonetic mouth movements, which meant not only did we need to match the lip flaps, the word choices needed to match the MOUTH SHAPES too.

Localization teams/editors don’t get enough credit.

BTS as Princess Bride quotes 1
  • Namjoon: you keep saying that word. I do not think that word means what you think it means.
  • Yoongi: I will say to the six-fingered man: "hello, my name is Min Yoongi. You killed my father, prepare to die."
  • Seokjin: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. And after what you've just said, I'm not sure I even want to be that anymore.
  • Taehyung: you fell victim to one of the classic blunders - the famous of which is: never get involved a land war in Asia - but only slightly less well-known is: never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
  • Hoseok: I just work with Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
  • Jimin: whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.
  • Jungkook: It's not my fault being the biggest and strongest. I don't even exercise.

“Wall Street, in other words, fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is: Never get involved in a land war in Asia. But only slightly less well-known is this: Never trust Donald Trump when money is on the line.”

g1 headcanon:

The Dinobots are very seriously invested in following news and discussions in the field of paleontology. If they are off Earth for an extended period of time, they either arrange to have things transmitted to them, or catch up when they return.

They get into heated debates that sometimes lead to them not talking to one another for weeks, splitting off into separate small camps, but somehow it never actually gets violent. 

At one point there’s a mission, and Optimus Prime is looking for Snarl; someone’s says, “Oh, yeah, he got invited to be a guest lecturer at that conference over in Idaho.”

Prime’s all, "This mission is much more important than talking about fossils!“
The other Dinobots just start making horrified squawking noises and won’t talk to him for weeks.

Grimlock will only refer to a certain figure as “me arch-enemy, Jack Horner!”. Every time. “Me arch-enemy, Jack Horner, make classic blunder! If me arch-enemy Jack Horner am think this will fly, me arch-enemy Jack Horner have other think coming!”

Things the world needs: MMFR/Princess Bride crossovers

“Bye, girls! Have fun storming the Citadel!”

“My name is Immortan Joe. You stole my wives. Prepare to die.”

“You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous of which is to never get involved in a turf war in the Wastes, but the only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a War Boy when Valhalla is on the line! HAHAHAHAHA– *gets run over by car*”

“Wedemption. Wedemption is what bwings us… togethah… today…”

Furiosa: “You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.”
Max: “You seem a decent woman. I hate to die.”

MBTI As Princess Bride Quotes

ISFJ:

Inigo: I swear on my honor as a Spaniard.

Westley: No good. I’ve known too many Spaniards.

Inigo: I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.

Westley: Throw me the rope.

ISTJ:

You’ve fallen victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line!

-Vizzini

ESTJ:

Inigo Montoya: This is Buttercup’s true love. If you heal him he will stop Humperdinck’s wedding!

Miracle Max the Wizard: Sha! Wait wait… I make him better, humperdinck suffers?

Inigo Montoya: Humiliations galore!

Miracle Max the Wizard: Ha ha ha! That is a noble cause. Gimme the 65. I’m on the job!

ESFJ:

Inigo Montoya: I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.

Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.

INFJ:

Inigo: Offer me money.

Count Rugen: Yes!

Inigo: Power, too, promise me that.

Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please…

Inigo: Offer me anything I ask for.

Count Rugen: Anything you want…

Inigo: I want my father back, you son of a bitch!

INTJ:

Inigo: (during a swordfight) You are amazing.

Man in Black: Thank you. I’ve worked hard to become so.

Inigo: I must admit that you are better than I am.

Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?

Inigo: Because I know something you don’t know.

Man in Black: And what is that?

Inigo: I am not left-handed!(later in the duel)

Man in Black: There’s something I ought to tell you…

Inigo: What? Tell me.

Man in Black: I’m not left-handed either.

ENTJ:

Humperdinck: I think you’re bluffing.

Westley: It’s possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all.

(Westley partially rises and lifts his sword.)

Westley: Drop. Your. Sword.

[Humperdink’s sword falls]

ENFJ:

Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.

Westley: No. To the Pain.

Humperdinck: I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase.

Westley: I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

Westley: It won’t be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.

Humperdinck: And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.

Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.

Westley: Wrong. Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

INFP: 

Grandpa: [voiceover] Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.

Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse’s saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.

Westley: As you wish.

Grandpa: [voiceover] “As you wish” was all he ever said to her.

Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.

Westley: As you wish.

Grandpa: [voiceover] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying “As you wish”, what he meant was, “I love you.” And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

Buttercup: Farm boy… fetch me that pitcher.

[It’s right over her head, so he has to stand next to her]

Westley: As you wish.

[Cut to them kissing]

INTP:

Vizzini: Inconceivable!

Inigo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

ENTP:

Vizzini: But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy’s? [pauses to study the Man In Black] Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I’m not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man In Black: You’ve made your decision then?

Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Man In Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Vizzini: Wait till I get going! Where was I?

Man In Black: Australia.

Vizzini: Yes – Australia, and you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

ENFP:

[as Buttercup prepares to commit suicide with a dagger]

Westley: There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

ISTP:


“Hello!. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

-Inigo Montoya

ISFP:

“Life is pain, Highness. Anybody who says otherwise is selling something.”

-Man In Black

ESFP: 

[after defeating Fezzik, who lays on the ground unconscious]

I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But for now, rest well and dream of large women.

-Man In Black

ESTP:

Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?

Inigo Montoya: Let me explain.

[pause]

Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape… after I kill Count Rugen.

Westley: That doesn’t leave much time for dilly-dallying.

Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That’s wonderful.

Westley: I’ve always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?

Inigo Montoya: There is but one working castle gate, and… and it is guarded by 60 men.

Westley: And our assets?

Inigo Montoya: Your brains, Fezzik’s strength, my steel.

BONUS QUOTE: WESLEY TEACHES CONSENT

Buttercup: Oh, Wesley, will you ever forgive me?

Westley: What hideous sin have you committed lately?

Buttercup: I got married. I didn’t want to - it all happened so fast.

Westley: Never happened.

Buttercup: What?

Westley: Never happened.

Buttercup: But it did I was there; this old man said ‘man and wife.’

Westley: Did you say 'I do?’

Buttercup: Um, no… we sort of skipped that part.

Westley: Then you’re not married. You didn’t say it; you didn’t do it.

avengers-avenging-shit replied to your post:can u do a short story with solangelo kisssing and…

Now I really, really want a fic of Jason walking in on Percy and Annabeth during their first time

((this isn’t Jason waling in, but it’s an explanation for the star wars sheets. This isn’t very graphic NSFW but it talks about some stuff))

  Sally Jackson was a reasonably laid back person. She didn’t have many ticks, or habits, or a place for everything and everything needs to be in it’s place. She was, however, known for changing the sheets of the beds every two weeks on Sunday. For Percy, one set of sheets in his rotation were a, slightly faded, set of Star Wars Sheets. 

“I really don’t care mom,” he remembered telling her at fourteen, “it’s not like I’m going to have a girl in my bed.” 

Seventeen year old Percy could kick the ass of his past self now. They were back, two days after the final battle, visiting Sally (a very tearful reunion.) Sally insisted that they stay the night (”or a few days, what ever works for you.”) She also insisted that Annabeth stayed in Percy’s room. 

“You stayed there while he was missing, I’m not going to make you sleep on the couch now. Besides, you two have spent nights together on quests before.” 

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