I always thought you were being paranoid. About what? That being around you is too dangerous. But it’s true. Lana- It’s okay, Clark. I know. You were only looking out for me. But you’re right. I think I have to stay away from you.
Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa: Clark. Sometimes it’s all part of his ‘mild-mannered reporter’ disguise but every now and then you’ll see Superman trying to push the pull doors on the watchtowers.
Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them: Clark. One time at the Daily Planet he was doodling hearts all over his report and was dismayed to find Perry reading it once he came back from his lunch break.
Who starts tickle fights: Bruce. Clark wouldn’t dare when he knows Bruce will cut his fingers off if he’s in the wrong mood. Plus Kryptonians have a special tickle spot that Bruce will abuse.
Who starts pillow fights: Bruce. when Clark makes and flirtatious and suggestive remark Bruce will feel no shame lobbing a pillow at his face which then turns into an all out war.
Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile: Bruce. Bruce spends most of his nights in the cave and Clark with all his stubbornness waits until he’s ready to go to sleep but more often than not this ends in Clark loudly snoring on the newly placed couch.
Who mistakes salt for sugar: Bruce. Whenever he spends long nights (and mornings) in the cave he becomes prone to make simple mistakes. Clark often has to watch Bruce drink and has to snatch it away before he can destroy his morning coffee
Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1 am in the morning: Bruce. Bruce could have rigged the microwave to beep silently but he’s realised this is how Clark knows when he’s come home from patrol.
Who comes up with cheesy pickup lines: Both. One dinner Dick made an offhand remark about a pickup line he heard prompting Bruce and Clark to tell their own favourite pick up lines which quickly turned into an all-out war. Bruce and Clark will now share pick up lines randomly throughout the day in an attempt to make the other laugh and claim victory. Nowhere is safe. On a mission, at work, in the shower. Always be prepared for sudden pickup lines
Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order: Clark, once then he gave up. Whenever a case requires it Bruce (and occasionally the kids) will pull a book from the top shelf, flick through it, then carelessly dump it on the floor when it gives them no new information. Cue Clark walking into his library for the first time and seeing all those books thrown across the couch, desks, and one under the rug (??). His Ma senses would not let him leave that room until it was all clean. Clark then walks into the library the next day to see it in the state he found it and immediately walks out again. Clark now avoids the library like it’s made from Kryptonite
Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies: Bruce, although he’s not cooking. Whenever Clark cooks he’s always greeted by an unexpected visit from his boyfriend.Clark is always glad for the company…. Until he turns around and sees Bruce licking the spoon.
“Bruce I wasn’t done with that” “Clark, we kiss all the time it doesn’t matter”
“These brownies are for your kids”
“….Yeah okay I’ll wash it”
Who lights the candles for the romantic dinners: Bruce. Romantic dinner? Did you mean house burning down?
Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen: Clark: Whenever Bruce falls asleep during movie nights he’ll wake to little Superman symbols and “Bruce n Clark 4ever” written over any accessible skin. Not that he minds
Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation: Clark. Whenever Clark flies across the world (or galaxy) as Superman he always brings back little souvenirs for Bruce as an apology for missing an important date and due to the annoying frequency of these they now have a room filled interesting items collected over the years.