defcon 4 - darcy/clint - 1/1

for: @mudpuddledemon 

“Okay!” Darcy appeared from the bathroom, her hair in a lopsided ponytail and her hands up in a ‘surrender’ motion. “Nobody panic.” 

Her voice was loud enough that Clint briefly regretted putting in his hearing aid this early in the morning. Taking a look around their otherwise empty bedroom, he rubbed the heel of his palm against one sleep-crusty eye. “I’m at DEFCON 4. Which is like… DEFCON 5 for a normal person, but I have to be at least kind of ready for danger… Like a rogue coffee maker bomb or something.” 

Rolling her eyes, she dropped her hands to her sides and defended, “That happened one time, and it was mostly Tony’s fault.”

He grunted. “Mostly?” 

“Jane was on a three-day bender, which means I was on a three-day bender, so when he offered to fix the coffee machine, I was too tired to realize what kind of a fire hazard that was… Which is why FRIDAY is there to second-guess any decisions I make when sleep-deprived.” 

“Sure. Let’s leave it up to the all-seeing eye in the ceiling. It’s not like AI’s have turned on us before or anything…” 

Darcy waved her hands dismissively. “You’re getting me off track.” 

“Right. Sorry.” He tucked his arms behind his head, brows hiked. “We were all not panicking. We being ‘me.’”

“Okay, so, listen…” She approached the bed, taking a seat at the edge and pulling her oversized Hulk t-shirt down over her knees. “I think I might be pregnant.”

Keep reading