clam dude

anonymous asked:

i just read an erika moen comic where she used the word "cooter" and also drew herself saying "jam out with your clam out, dudes!" and...i want to die :)

A fully grown woman at my work told me she needed to shave her cooter the other day and I did not enjoy it

klewolf-reb  asked:

I asked you (maybe 1 week ago) about what would Dylan like in a girl physically and in her personality and i asked you (if you could) to write a lengthy response, describe Dylan's "perfect" girl. Did you get my question?

If you could picture Dylan’s girlfriend, what would she look like ? Small/tall ? In your opinion. Would she be introvert/extrovert ? (I know he didn’t have a specific type or at least we don’t know, but let’s imagine).

What do you think Dylan would like in a girl mentally and psychically and how would he treat her (could you give a lengthy response if possible?)

I’m not sure if you answer these type of questions, but what type of girls do you think Dylan was into looks wise and personality wise?

I had a few of these similiar asks on ‘Dylan’s ideal girlfriend’ so I thought I’d add all of them into one big answer. :) Some of these were asked a while back so my apologies for the delay in response. Luckily, holiday time off has given me the luxury of time to give a response back!

Dylan was pretty tall at 6’3. So, even if his hypothetical girlfriend was considered ‘tall’ at say 5’9 - 5’11, she’d still be a few inches shorter than him. I’d say taller girls are generally not the norm in High School. I know because I was one of ‘em. ;) The odds would be that he’d end up dating a girl of average height 5’6 - 5’8 or possibly even a girl that was significantly shorter than him. While, I don’t think that the physical criteria of height mattered much at all to Dylan, he probably wouldn’t mind a sense of protectively towering over his girl just a bit. There Dyl would be walking down the hall with his girl by his side, hands interlocked, and she’d be gazing up at him with a smile of appreciation. That right there is an automatic teenage male ego stroke, yep. :) That said, I do not think that the girl being shorter than him would be a make-or-break criteria for Dyl. Whereas, say, a dude like Eric who was significantly shorter than most of his male friends, would probably need to feel taller and physically taller with his girlfriend of choice.

I think I said before in the other ask, that I tend to think that Dylan was a bit more attracted to brunettes of various shades - light to dark Of course, Sasha Jacobs and Sarah Slater were blondes, right? Sasha, technically doesn’t quite count, since she apparently took the lead on getting a date with Dylan, all of two times. Sasha’s perception was that Dylan seemed ‘strange’ and she was uncomfortable with him - which probably amounted to a very shy dude clamming up on an official ‘date’ with full on female attention. Dylan seemed to develop a crush for Sarah Slater, blonde number two, based on the fact that she actually spent time talking to him over the internet in the evening. It’s easy to understand how Dylan would let his guard down and feel less intimidated conversing facelessly, connecting via words to a girl at a distance and as he revealed some personal problems to her lending ear she became comfortable for him because of that intimacy and he wanted to date her. Still, I think he naturally gravitated towards girls with darker hair that would include Kristen, Marla, Joanne and Tobin, who was a light brown haired girl that he checked out at the mall and bravely asked out a handful of times.

Generally speaking, I think it tends to be true that opposites do attract. Dylan was drawn to girls with hair color contrasting his own and so he likely might have also found a girl with warm brown eyes more appealing than the blue of his own. Beyond the superficiality of surface attraction stuff like hair and eye color, there’s also that unique spark about the girl’s personality that attracted and captivated his attention If you read Dylan’s love letter how he describes working on a report with “the girl” in class in 1st semester, you hear him expound on that radiance and joy in her personality that enamored him: “I still remember your laugh. Innocent, beautiful, pure. This semester I still see you - rarely, I am entranced during 5th period, as we both have it off.” So, a sense of mirth about her and a sense of ease he must’ve felt being in her company enough to laugh along with her over irreverent things like maybe poking fun of the ridiculous assignment they’re been paired up for together or the ideas they may have had timidly brainstormed together which had her laughing in response that literally made him stand up and take notice in a big way. From there on, Dylan begun to think of her all the time: ‘picturing her face’, ‘hearing her laugh’, ‘just being with her’ - all on an infinitely blissful feedback loop. :)

Dylan eluded in his journal that he was attracted to an introverted, observant sort of girl with an air of melancholy about her which appealed in reflecting his own sense of self. She’d be the intelligent sort but not overly bookish and couldn’t be too much like him in a sense of being painfully inhibited and shy. She would need to be able to hold her own, have a sense of warmth, compassion and be just enough on the assertive side to initiate interaction. However, I think an opposite of himself, an extroverted girl, would’ve coaxed Dylan out of his shell more. Dylan would’ve been greatly relieved of the burden of having to take the lead on dates and he’d learn from his interactions with a down-to-earth, open, easy going type personality sort ( a bit like Devon?) on how to be more comfortable just being one-on-one with a girl, dating alone and not in a group. On the first few dates, Dylan could be relieved in letting an extroverted girl lead the conversation and do most of the talking. An introverted girl was likely what he wanted but an extroverted girl was probably more what he needed, and if she were a little of both, all the better :) I think though for his first initial girlfriend he would really need the girl to be more assertive and less inhibited than himself. Someone that would take Dylan’s initial silence on dates as more of a challenge to engage him, to ask him questions but be receptive yet also interactive with her own opinions, thoughts in response to him. According to Devon, Dylan had an unorthodox, ‘morose’ sense of humor so his girl would need to be appreciative and chill of that type of ‘anything goes’ offbeat sense of wit and humor and be able to return the favor. She would need to be sharp, observant, a bit coy, not obnoxious and wild but warm and easy going enough to get him to relax and reveal that ‘inner Dyl’ the very funny, witty side of himself.

There’s that beginning video snippet in the “Lost Boys” documentary where Dylan is beaming and giggling (yes, giggling like a girl) as he plays video games with his guy friends and you can see how he is just utterly relaxed and goofy, cutting loose and really having a good time with those crinkled up smiling eyes and that huge grin from ear-to-ear. I recall that Kristen Theibault mentioned that she and the other TCM girls used to gang up and beat Dylan and Eric at GoldenEye. Can you just picture the hilarity of this? So, you could just take that a step further and imagine Dylan seriously trying to give his girl pointers on some slick Quake maneuvers while she’s resting on his knee and then she suddenly gets the impulse to go maniacal on the controller attempting to whoop his ass and so he amusedly retailiates by tickling her until they’re both cracking up and segway on to a completely other type of game playing. ;) He was used to being casual and letting his guard down with the guys but to be able to be free and comfortable with a girl would be true bliss for him.

I think he’d like his girl to be liberal, spiritually open, perhaps pagan, wiccan, or someone simply skeptical and questioning, agnostic even - but definitely not religious or restricted in ‘thinking inside the box’ sorts of beliefs. I think he would’ve appreciated her self-directed/chosen individuality and free spirit. Sharing thoughts and ideas would be important. He would want to be able to express his love for certain movies or tastes in music and he would also like to know her thoughts in return. He would be stoked knowing she embraced some of his own musical tastes “I hope she likes techno. :-) “. Being an observant, receptive sort, his girl would be intuitive enough to notice when Dyl was having difficulty expressing himself or that his emotional frustrations were bottling up in his silence. She’d need to be able to approach and handle him in a manner that would encourage him to reengage and express those disconnected feelings into words so he could identify exactly how he was feeling. I think this was the case between Devon and Zach. Zach had found a sounding board in her, and Dylan was jealous that Zach had found that ‘perfect soulmate’ - that safe confidant to help him with his emotional struggles, depression and suicidal thoughts.

It would take Dylan a little bit of time getting comfortable so he would go slow with his girl while things warmed up between the two of them. I could see them talking in the car at night with the lights off and the depth of conversation meandering because they’d be like two voices, two minds listening to one another and exploring one another’s thoughts. She’d probably be the one to initiate the hugs or the handholding - but only at first, until he gained in confidence to reveal depth of feelings. He’d have a bit of trouble with public displays of affection initially in school but would let her lead the pace and follower her lead and gain confidence with experience. He’d be gentle, very tentative and sweet with her, a bit in awe of this girl that’s bothering to spend time with him. The more he’d begin to feel comfortable in the girl’s presence and knowing her better, the more physically, demonstrative and affectionately free he would allow himself to become with her. Then It would’ve been like, whoa, look out Dylan’s girlfriend. ;)

Of course, all of what I’ve said here is an an ‘ideal’ laundry list of the sort of girl for Dylan. In reality, it wouldn’t be perfect, just imperfectly perfect, for however long his HS relationship lasted.

too-many-fxcking-idiots  asked:

What sea creatures (mythical and real) are the 2ps scared of and love. I love the sea dragon Leviathan but I hate clams

(Dude I love Mermaids and Sirens and I dun think I hate any real sea animals)

2p Italy: Loves Scylla, hates eels

2p Germany: Loves sea snakes, hates crabs

2p Japan: Loves Umibōzu, hates groupers

2p Romano: Loves mermaids, hates phiranas

2p Spain: Loves the Kraken, hates puffer fish

2p Prussia: Loves Kelpies, hates sea snakes

2p America: Loves Yacumama, hates angler fish

2p England: Loves Selkies, hates stingrays

2p France: Loves Sirens, hates dolphins

2p Russia: Loves Rusalka, hates squid

2p China: Loves mermaids, hates sharks

2p Canada: Loves Qalupalik, hates octopus

badasspolkadots  asked:

Prompt: In which Jack calls David something really platonic (Like dude, bro, or man) and something really mushy and romantic (like love, dear or darling) in a very short span of time, like within two or three sentences of each other. And Dave is just left confused by his idiot of a boyfriend.

I put these two together and this happened! Hope you enjoy ^.^

Of all the people Jack would expect to walk through his bedroom door with a black eye, Davey was the bottom of the list. Race, Spot, even Blink (although statistically he had half the eyes to get punched in), he wouldn’t have even found strange, but Davey? That wasn’t normal; it tugged at every vein and artery connected to his heart, pulling it in so many directions it ached. He jumped to his feet, awkwardly reaching out to Davey but not sure how best to help his boyfriend.

Keep reading

The signs as Guy Fieri quotes

Aries-I’m mining for food in Flavortown River

Taurus- holy clam, batman!

Gemini- dude, i’ve been stricken by chicken

Cancer- super-duper weenie

Leo- let’s get down with the gravy, baby

Virgo- shut the front door

Libra- slamma jamma that’s a big clamma

Scorpio- I feel like I’m in lasagna surgery here at Flavortown Memorial

Sagittarius- the sauce is money!

Capricorn- You can find that dictionary at the Flavortown Library

Aquarius- we’re riding the bus to flavor town

Pisces- They make a porchetta that you won’t forgetta