(lying face down on his bed) I can’t believe I said ‘neat’, Jace. ‘Neat.’ Nobody says ‘neat’ anymore! It’s the goddamn 21st century!! It’s not neat to say neat, but I said it anyway because I’m! A huge loser!
(idly turns magazine page) Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what happened when Clary confessed to me?
Didn’t you like, thank her?
(closes magazine to stare at the ceiling) I thanked her.
“There are a hundred trillion cells in the human body,” she said. “And every single one of the cells of my body loves you. We shed cells, and grow new ones, and my new cells love you more than the old ones, which is why I love more every day than I did the day before. It’s science. And when I die and they burn my body and I become ashes that mix with the air, and part of the ground and the trees and the stars, everyone who breathes that air or sees the flowers that grow our of the ground or looks up at the stars will remember you and love you, because I love you that much”
“I was trying to go…somewhere,” Jace said. “But I kept getting pulled back here. I couldn’t stop walking, couldn’t stop thinking.
About the first time I ever saw you, and how after that I couldn’t forget you. I wanted to, but I couldn’t stop myself. I forced Hodge to let me be the one who came to find you and bring you back to the Institute. And even back then, in that stupid coffee shop, when I saw you sitting on that couch with Simon, even then that felt wrong to me—I should have been the one sitting with you. The one who made you laugh like that. I couldn’t get rid of that feeling. That it should have been me. And the more I knew you, the more I felt it—it had never been like that for me before. I’d always wanted a girl and then gotten to know her and not wanted her anymore, but with you the feeling just got stronger and stronger until that night when you showed up at Renwick’s and I knew.
“And then to find out that the reason I felt like that—like you were some part of me I’d lost and never even knew I was missing
until I saw you again—that the reason was that you were my sister, it felt like some sort of cosmic joke. Like God was spitting on me. I don’t even know for what—for thinking that I could actually get to have you, that I would deserve something like that, to be that happy. I couldn’t imagine what it was I’d done that I was being punished for—”
“If you’re being punished,” Clary said, “then so am I.“
Keep up,” said and irritable voice in her ear. It was Jace, who had dropped back to walk beside her. “I don’t want to have to keep looking behind me to make sure nothing’s happened to you.”
“So don’t bother.”
“Last time I left you alone, a demon attacked you,” he pointed out.
“Well, I’d certainly hate to interrupt your pleasant night stroll with my sudden death.”
He blinked. “There is a fine line between sarcasm and outright hostility, and you seem to have crossed it.
Posso comunicarti un noioso dato scientifico? Ci sono cento trilioni di cellule nel corpo umano. E ognuna delle cellule del mio corpo ti ama. Perdiamo cellule e ne sviluppiamo di nuove, e le mie nuove cellule ti amano più delle vecchie, ed è per questo che ti amo ogni giorno più del giorno prima. È scienza. E quando morirò e bruceranno il mio corpo e diventerò cenere che si mescolerà nell'aria, alla terra e agli alberi e alle stelle, chiunque respirerà o vedrà i fiori che spunteranno da terra o alzerà lo sguardo alle stelle ti ricorderà e ti amerà, perché è così che io ti amo.
Città del Fuoco Celeste (Shadowhunters #6) Cassandra Clare