the moment alex starts crying after maggie asked what happened with her dad, they immediately wrap their hands around each other and maggie softly whispers “oh sweetheart” is going to haunt me for the rest of my life
**Long story short, I found my old fic LJ/archive from 2005, and decided this absolutely needed to be posted. It’s ridiciously bad, so much so that I found it hilarious.**
Author: PiecesofScully (in 2005) Rating: R Timeline: Unclear
Scully set the phone down in its cradle, a look of complete confusion spreading across her face.
“Who was it?” Mulder asked, as he typed on the computer. His eyes were still glued to the screen, and his fingers pressed rapidly against the keys on the key board.
“The accounting office. They said they need to speak with you about questionable purchases with a bureau credit card.”
“I’m being audited?”
“Sure sounds like it.”
Mulder continued typing for a few seconds, unphased by the news of a surprise audit….until it hit him.
“Oh….shit…” he muttered under his breath. He stood quickly, grabbed his jacket, and headed towards the door.
He stopped suddenly and turned back to Scully.
“Do you want me to come along?” She asked, sitting at the desk with her reading glasses on.
He shook his head. “Nah, I’ve got it. You stay here, and maybe we could go grab some lunch afterwards.”
Scully nodded, accepting the offer, and Mulder left the office, speed walking to the elevator.
How do I explain this one? He thought to himself as he pressed the ‘up’ button. Sorry, Mr. Accounting Man, Agent Scully and I were in need of a good humping and my credit card was declined, so I used the bureau’s card instead.
The doors opened and he stepped inside shaking his head. As the doors closed, all was silent except for the dull clank of shifting gears and one word being muttered over and over again.
“Agent Mulder, I’ll start from the beginning. I’m going to need you to explain every purchase on the date of May 26th, 2000.” Mulder nods, his hand quickly wiping a bead of sweat that had escaped his hairline and began a quick slide towards his nose.
The young, squirley looking accountant shuffled through his notes and pulled out the sheet of paper he’d been searching for.
“$76.56 was spent at a restaurant called La Fleur, which is located in Sterling, Maine.” The accounting agent glanced at Mulder, waiting for his explanation, but the agent just stared back offering nothing of the sort. “$76.56 is a lot to spend on a dinner, especially when I have documents saying that you and Agent Scully were on vacation, not investigating a case.“
Mulder cleared his throat. "Well, yeah, we were on vacation, but a case fell into our laps almost as soon as we’d arrived. We were hungry from driving all day, so we stopped at the only restaurant that was open and accepted credit cards.”
“I have no record of a case file being processed on the date of May 26th.”
“I have yet to finish the report, actually.”
“But $76.56, Agent?”
Mulder shrugged. “The food was expensive.”
The accountant nodded, then exhaled a long sigh. “I’ll say.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*One month ago*
Mulder finished the last bite of his chocolate desert, just as Scully had finished hers. The server must have been watching them closely, because just as Scully set her fork down, the bill was slipped onto the table.
Scully smiled at Mulder, a lazily wide grin. Either she was a little tipsy from those 2 glasses of wine, or those oysters were finally kicking in.
He slipped his credit card into the small leather pocket of the folder, and the waitress took it away.
“You wanna head back to our room after this?” Mulder asked, reaching across the table to take her hand in his.
Scully shook her head. “Actually there is a store across the street I wanted to browse in first. Maybe get a little something for tonight.”
His eyes glowed with excitement. He’d seen the store she was referencing when they’d pulled into the restaurant’s parking area. It was a lingerie/sex-toy store. Naughty Time something or other.
“I’ll go see what’s keeping the waitress with the receipt.” He brushed a kiss on her temple, and walked to the front counter.
Their waitress turned to him, his credit card in her hand. “I’m sorry, sir, but your card has been declined.”
Mulder stood there, stunned. “That’s impossible. Could you run it through again?”
“Of course, sir.” She slid his card through the machine again, and after a short pause and a quiet beep, she shook her head. “Declined again, sir. Perhaps you have another card you’d like to try.”
Mulder pulled out his wallet and searched the card slots. License, library card, blood donor card, bureau credit card….bureau credit card…. He paused for a moment, then hurriedly handed her the bureau credit card. She took it with a large smile on her face, then passed him his receipt to sign when it was approved.
“All set, sir. Have a lovely evening.”
Mulder nodded, and walked back to Scully. She stood, allowing Mulder to help her with her jacket.
“Everything ok?” She asked.
He linked his fingers with hers. “Everything is great.”
“Ok,” the accountant said. “So, next comes the fun stuff.”
Mulder’s eyebrow pulled a 'Scully’ and rose. The accountant shrugged, then shuffled his papers.
“The next purchase on the list was $26.25 at a grocery store, also located in Maine. Now, because you and Agent Scully had already eaten quite an expensive dinner, I was ordered by my supervisor to look into the items that were purchased in this store. Those items are,” he paused to look closer at the receipt. “…whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and a 4 pack of AA batteries.”
“I know what this looks like-”
"Fraternizing is strictly prohibited, Agent Mulder.”
“I realize that Agent,” he glanced at the younger agent’s tag, “Smooter. But that was for the case we were working on.”
“Really?” Smooter asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “What was this case you two were investigating exactly?”
Mulder sat back in his chair, a cocky grin on his face. “That’s classified.”
“Interesting. Well, I’ll tell my 'super’ that, and he can take this matter to….AD Kersh is it? Yes, he can take it up with AD Kersh if you’d prefer.”
“Fine, Fine!! I’ll explain.” Mulder rubbed his eyes, then leaned forward in his seat to get closer to the accountant. “You know we investigate the paranormal right?”
“Yes, I am aware of that.”
“Well, this case falls under that category as well. You see…” Mulder licked his lips then cracked his fingers, attempting to buy some time, “We were called by a source we have in Maine. He’d said he’d been hearing some strange stories about young men that had gone missing.”
“The point, Agent Mulder.”
“I’m getting there. Well, these young men had happened to go missing while…camping….in the woods. We needed the batteries for our flash lights.”
“The bureau’s flash lights take D batteries.”
Mulder nodded. "Imagine our surprise when we got to the woods and discovered that. Luckily, one of the flash lights still had enough power to aid us on our journey.“
"And what about the whipped cream and chocolate syrup?”
“It was rumored that whatever was taking these men had something of a sweet tooth. So, Agent Scully and I bought those because they were cheap. We were in a hurry and didn’t have time to be choosy and search for specific candy bars or whatever.”
Smooter nodded rapidly, seemingly eating up every bit of Mulder’s story.
“So, Agent Scully and I high tailed it into the woods with only one working flashlight, and sunday toppings.”
~~~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The disappointment of being at a grocery store and not a sex toy store must have been written all over his face, because Scully nuzzled his neck and whispered, “I have big plans for us tonight. Trust me.”
Mulder nodded, shooting her a smile, and followed her closely through the store. His spirits lifted after seeing her grab a can of whipped cream, a bottle of chocolate syrup, and a pack of batteries. “Scully, why the batteries?”
She smiled at him deviously. “Just trust me Mulder.”
That look could make any man go weak in the knees, cause his heart to skip a few beats, and claim temporary insanity. Which is what must have happened because before he knew it, he was whipping out that bureau credit card again.
“Okay, agent, there’s one last purchase I have to question. There was a $45.15 purchase made at a Naughty Time Novelty. I am extremely curious to see how this plays into everything. Now, because the store wouldn’t give out the list of what was purchased, I need to ask you what was purchased and for what reason.”
Mulder chewed on his lip then sighed. “We walked out of Meijer and we were talking intensely about the case. So intensely, actually, that we both didn’t realize that we’d just walked through a huge swarm of bees. Agent Scully felt something on her pant leg and swatted it off, not realizing it was a bee, and then it stung her finger. She wears this ring that she got from her mother years ago, and that was the finger that happened to get stung. It started swelling almost instantly.”
“Agent Scully has an allergy to bee stings?”
“Uh…yeah…So we ran into the nearest store, which just happened to be that novely store. We explained what happened to the girl at the counter and she grabbed a large bottle of….lubricant….and poured the contents all over Scully’s swollen finger. After a few tries, we got it off. Cindy, the girl at the counter, then took a mint flavored lubricant and spread it on the bee sting, insisting it would take down the swelling.”
“Did it work?”
“Well, we can’t say for sure. We put ice on it when we got back to the motel, so it could have been the ice that did the trick.”
“But where does the $45.15 come in?”
“We had to pay for the lubricant.” Smooter’s jaw dropped. “They were jumbo sized bottles.”
The accountant sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.
~~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mulder eagerly followed Scully to the showcase of battery operated toys. There were so many different sizes and colors, different shapes and gadgets. There was one gadget that was blue, and it had two rubber rings connected by a small battery pack.
“That’s a 'for him’ toy. One loop goes around the penis and the other goes around 'the boys’. It vibrates.”
Cindy clearly knew her products. Mulder just stared at the blue rubber contraption. Visions of using it and it cutting off circulation and 'it’ possibly falling off invaded his thoughts. “No, thanks,” he said with a shrug. “We’re here for her.“ He pointed to Scully.
He was surprised to see the excitement spread across her face. Her eyes even had a twinkle in them.
"Um,” she pointed to one of the hundreds of vibrators spread showcased along the wall, “could i see that one?”
Cindy pulled it from it’s case and handed it to Scully. “That’s The Dolphin. It’s a huge hit because it’s so pretty.”
Mulder studied the toy in Scully’s hands. It was pretty. The first 1 ½ inches were a tart blue rubber, then the next 3 inches were white pearls that traveled around the girth of the toy, and then more blue rubber. Scully passed it from hand to hand as if testing the weight, then ran her finger along the 3 inch rubber dolphin that seemed like it was about to soar off the dildo.
“What’s that for?” Mulder asked, pointing to the dolphin’s beak.
“It’s the clitoral stimulator,” Scully answered matter of factly.
“I’d suggest that you purchase some lubricant if you do get a toy. We have flavored ones such as peppermint and strawberry. And we have others for special purposes, such as 'Like a Virgin’, which tightens the vaginal muscles, and a few that make him last longer. I’d suggest the peppermint flavored lube. It’s great, and a real fan favorite.”
Scully smiled. “Wonderful. We’ll take that and The Dolphin.”
Mulder stared for a moment, as if in shock. The entire moment was so surreal, like a wet dream come true, buying sex toys and flavored lube with Scully. At the register, he eagerly passed the girl the bureau’s credit card.
i know it’s kind of dumb to be talking about and getting emotional over something that happened 2 years ago, but i wasn’t a kpop fan back then so…
i’m just like TT because monsta x stayed behind for psy and bigbang at the 2015 mama’s when everyone else had already left…
those are my boys….withmy boys 😍
in the video they were both bowing so low to each other like bigbang was so grateful they stayed :(((
and this picture was supposed to just be bigbang and psy but when monsta x went off to the side so they could take the photo, psy and bigbang told them to come get in the picture too HOLD ME i love idol interactions