During a 5e one-shot I was in a few months ago, the party had to protect a village from a goblin horde and do some other stuff I don’t remember. After attacking the goblins in a large cave a while away from the village, they reach the village gates being chased by the goblin horde, when this happens:
*please note, our fighter was a new player who wasn’t taking the game really seriously at the time*
Fighter: Alright, I got a plan, I’m gonna distract them so you guys can get inside safely!
Everyone else: Alright thanks!
DM: alright, what’re you gonna do to stop these goblins from attacking?
Fighter: I’m gonna whip out my dick and shock them with its awesome size!
DM: … Alright then… *fails saves for entire horde* oh god… wanna roll for size while you’re at it?
Fighter: Heck yeah! Check out this natural twenty!! *crit fails*
The entire part is bursting out laughing now, and the DM keeps it going
DM: The goblin horde stops dead in it’s tracks as you whip out your dick and start to laugh uncontrollably
Fighter: F*** YOU!!
DM: A few of the goblins begin taking out theirs to show you what a real dick looks like.
Fighter: *death glares at everyone, especially the DM*
DM: Now a few townspeople are laughing! And members of the guard too!
*DM mocks the fighter, doing several voices for every NPC who’s laughing at his tiny wiener*
Help me, I’m poor
Happy Birthday to the Ground
Big Long Fart
On all levels except physical I am a wolf (barks)
Nah, that’s too real
I’m Like the Birds, I Only Fly Away
Now You See Me, Now You Don’t
This is Your Captain Speaking
i know others have probably said this but sdcc has made me 100% certain that eliza either has a clexa blog, or she lurks clexa blogs to see what’s being said. the interview where she dragged jason about clarke always having to apologize is something that the clexa fandom has been criticizing the show for since the beginning of season 3, and only continued to talk about post-307. there were very few articles on t100 that acknowledged clarke’s constant apologizing as problematic (if any, i can’t actually recall any off the top of my head unless you count stephen king’s comment), and past interviews pre-season finale where eliza was asked about clarke, she never mentioned the apologizing thing but rather talked about how she hoped clarke got to smile or had time to heal, etc…. i c u, eliza
Q:What do you think of the fight between Kimi and Verstappen? Should FIA give him a penalty according to you?
Maurizio Arrivabene:Of course, there had to be a penalty, it was obvious. We called Charlie Whiting but then they said they didn't see anything incorrect. Also yesterday in qualifying there had to be penalties but they did nothing. Obviously these people didn't see well, we should give them glasses to see better.