city of sewers

Footage of a supposed “sewer alligator” has emerged on the internet. Stories of the animals living in city sewer systems date back as early as the 1920’s and are usually thought of as mere legends, but several photographs, such as this recent one, may prove otherwise. It is thought that baby gators were bought from pet shops by unknowing owners and were cruelly flushed down the toilet or discarded into rivers when they began to grow rapidly. Many people think that some alligators survived and managed to breed, producing a long line of these underground “sewer gators”.

3

Some ugly doodles of dragons as they exist in a story I’m workin’ on with my friend @chevalrien
Dragons were first kept as pets by Chinese emperors thousands of years ago, and were seen as living symbols of royalty. They were captured as babies as raised to be loyal lifelong guardians to their masters.
Fast forward to the 20s, and eastern “mini” dragons are once again walking among the elite, but now in the form of a tragic fashion trend among upper class Americans. A British merchant began raising and inbreeding his small collection of Chinese golds he had captured on a hunting trip sometime in the 18th century, creating a new line of semi-domesticated “designer” dragons. Breeding and owning dragons is a massive undertaking due their enormous adult size, but they are valued for their variety in coat colors and lionlike manes, as well as their exotic status.
The increasingly lucrative business has also been a boon to poaching of wild dragons.
Exotic pet stores and seedy merchants offer a fantastic variety of cute, bug-eyed baby dragons, which are often coddled and kept in bathtubs until they die of poor care or grow too big for comfort, and are released into the local waterways to terrorize park ponds and city sewers.

In a selfmade campaign, one of us played a warforged bard whos lifegoal was to own a bakery. When we were underground the city in the sewer system we found a bloody gorey laboratory. Everyone failed the perception check except for the halfling rogue and said bard. Unfortunately the other two stood in the entry. Suddenly the “owner” appeared with his blades on the back of our dragonborn warrior and darkelven druid.
The bard and halfling rougue realized, too late.

Gm as Owner: “Who are you? What do you want?”
Bard:“ You know I am searching for the perfect Spot to open up a bakery. It’s beautiful and spacious in here.”
GM: PFF… roll
Bard: Nat 19 + 9. 28!
Everyone else in unison:“yeah right… What he said”
Gm: the unidentified person behind the two is surprised “why would anyone think of opening a bakery here near all these feces?”
Bard:“wouldn’t it be wonderful to have the wonderful fragrance of frish baked stuff coming out the sewerage and wander through the streets?”
*we all lost it*

Turned out the owner was a vampirehunter and we helped him…

5

The Penguin: These are the names of the first-born sons of Gotham City–just like I was.  And like me, a terrible fate waits for them.  Tonight, while their parents party, they’ll be dreaming away in their “safe” cribs, their soft beds   And we will snatch them, carry them into the sewer, and toss them into a deep, dark, watery grave!

Clown Henchman: Uh, Penguin, I mean…killing sleeping children.  Isn’t that a little…

The Penguin: No, it’s A LOT!

-”Batman Returns”    

Scribble-Doodle: Edomei

Malec. A scene I want to see in 301. Regarding the Edomei…


Alec grumbles silently, rubbing his temples. His eyes burn and his head aches fiercely and he’s still no closer to finding his answer.

Something tweaks his nose and when his eyes fly open, he jerks back, startled, because there’s a glowing purple dust mote hovering in front of him. It explodes in a shower of sparks - and Alec sneezes.

“Gesundheit!”

Keep reading

Fic: Toothpaste

A long overdue prize for @ohyayaseance, who guessed the best in the @xfficchallenges Anon Challenge!

Of all the things he imagined doing with Dana Scully, buying toothpaste wasn’t one of them.

“Do you have sensitive teeth, Mulder?” she asks, weighing two boxes in her hands.  They’re both sparkly, promising the freshest breath and the whitest teeth.  He couldn’t tell you the difference between them, except that one says ZEST in a swirly font and the other says AQUAFROST.

“Not really,” he tells her.  

“Hmm,” she says.  “How are your gums?”

“Scully, you’re my doctor,” he says.  “Shouldn’t you already know this?”

She fixes him with a gaze chillier than the promised flavor of the toothpaste (EXTREME WINTERMINT).  “You do know that doctors and dentists have completely different specialties and training.”  It isn’t a question.

“Sure,” he says.  “I just thought you’d know.”

Her lips curve into a smile.  “My familiarity with your mouth doesn’t come from your medical files,” she says, raising one eyebrow.

“And I’m grateful for that every day,” he says.  “What about this one?”  

She shifts the two boxes to one hand and takes the one he gives her.  “Mulder, this one’s baking soda.”

He shrugs.  “I like the way it foams.”

“It tastes terrible,” she says, handing it back to him.  He puts it on the shelf with the others.  “How do you feel about mouthwash strips?”

He licks his teeth reflexively.  “No.  They stick to my gums.”

She puts a box down, but picks up another one.  “Whitening?”

He shrugs.  “I’m not waiting for my close-up.”

“We drink a lot of coffee,” she says.  “Might as well.”

“Might as well for all of it,” he says.  “Whitening.  Freshening.  Sensitivity.  Enamel building.  Can toothpaste really do that?”

Now it’s Scully’s turn to shrug.  She turns the box over.  “These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration,” she reads.

“There you have it,” Mulder says.  He reaches for a bottle of mouthwash.  “Let’s get the blue one and this blue mouthwash.”

“What does that one do?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” he says.  “It’s blue.  I figured the flavors would match.”

She smiles at him with warm and genuine exasperation.  “Mulder.”

“Scully, I’m just happy to be brushing my teeth next to you,” he says.  “I’d even use that natural stuff that doesn’t have fluoride or chemicals if that’s what you want.”

She snorts.  “Chemicals are in everything, Mulder.  You can’t make that kind of broad statement and say something doesn’t have chemicals.”

“You know what I mean,” he says.  

“I do,” she says, softening.  “Blue is a flavor?”

“Definitely,” he says.  He counts off on his fingers.  “Popsicles, mouthwash, toothpaste, and hard candy.”

“The FDA hasn’t evaluated that either, I’m guessing,” she deadpans.

“It’s a known fact,” he tells her.  “I’m not saying mouthwash and popsicles are the same flavor, but blue is definitely a flavor.”

“All right,” she says, and tosses one of the toothpastes into the cart.  “What’s next?”

“Toilet paper,” he says.  “How many factors are involved in your toilet paper selection process?”

“You have no idea,” she says.  “Ply thickness, roll size, paper softness, paper strength, flushability - that’s going to matter if we’re in a place someday that isn’t on the city sewer system.  And toilet paper is nothing compared to pads and tampons.  I’m going to have to send you with a detailed checklist when you go on a tampon run.”

“I can’t wait,” he says, and means it.  

8

After dinner tonight, Lindy said it may be a good idea to journal our thoughts about our first weekend living on the homestead full time. It’s an easy task at face value - I have a thousand thoughts racing through my mind. Who wouldn’t? Yet, at the same time it’s a difficult task because time out here is best spent doing something necessary - it’s hard work living with no city sewer, water, or power. Time not spent working is time spent driving or time spent sleeping. Nonetheless, I write because if it’s worth doing - it’s worth remembering.

The days on the homestead start early. Nature’s subtle nudge out of bed comes in the form of frigid cold. Our temporary living arrangements lack the insulation of a modern home and I am reminded of that as I start the generator at 5:30 in the morning while standing in my boxers to prevent Lindy and the kids from suffering my fate by firing up the furnace. That task at dawn feels like my duty, and if I can provide my family with an added level of comfort beyond our somewhat primitive arrangement – then I have started my day a hero.

Mother Nature has ripped the covers off of me with her biting cold and for good reason: it’s time to work. The physical work around the homestead is far more enjoyable beneath the blanket of the morning fog. The midday sun is no time for shoveling gravel, moving boulders, or other homestead improvements.

Yesterday, I spent my morning trying to figure out how to move my large, heavy BBQ from one end of my property to the other without a truck. Today, I spent half my day trying to find clean water for our trailer on a holiday weekend. After a local business shelled out almost 25 gallons of water to me for free, I loaded it into Lindy’s 2007 Toyota Corolla that she bought back in high school and drove it down sketchy unpaved country roads to get it home. At last, we can bathe.

The evenings on the property come early as well. As soon as the sun drops below our west ridge, darkness sets in and the only ambient light is moonlight. The unfamiliar rustling of surrounding bushes and a lack of visibility urge us indoors.

Bedtime rituals with the kids are simple, but meaningful. A story by flashlight, a few minutes with a sticker book at the kitchen table, an animated recap of the day’s adventures.

Lindy and I haven’t figured out nights yet. We sit on the couch in the dark, tired and accomplished. We whisper our entire conversation because of the close proximity to the girls who are asleep in our family bed.

Tonight we talked about giving the kids a bath tomorrow and taking our first shower in three days and how to best conserve water in the process. We stink - but we don’t mind. Oddly enough, I just smell work and earth - there’s a rawness to that and yes, I am aware that I sound crazy. Tomorrow, we have big plans to locate a safe indoor portable heater and track down a more reliable water source.

I really think this lifestyle has us on track for something great. The mere fact that I am writing tonight, rather than sitting mindlessly in front of the television leads me to believe that I am correct in my assessment.

The clarity out here is tangible and I want more.

Cardassian Animals

I was just playing around with what one might see at a Cardassian zoo, and thought you guys might get some enjoyment out of it.  Some of these animals are mentioned in canon, but I mostly came up with the descriptions.  I also came up with a term for an animal that is somewhere between mammal and reptile - tUrn’hU (warm scale), inspired by @feltelures and @tinsnip Kardasi, thought the concept itself is mine.

Vole (tUrn’hU) – small, six-legged creature with a scattering of hair and sharp teeth, poor eyesight, minor “spoon” on the head, spends most time underground or in other dark places, often considered a “pest,” common across most of Prime·       

Regnar (reptile) – small reptile, usually found in the desert and surrounding areas, blind, capable of blending into the environment, very fast, population unknown due to speed and “cloaking” ability·        

Zabu (mammal) – large domesticated mammal, similar to a cow, used in agriculture for both its meat and its milk, which is especially prized for the thick, sweet cream that can be made from it, large hump around shoulders which stores reserves during times of draught and food scarcity, very sturdy animal, able to survive in most environments, variations found across Prime·     

Măgath (reptile) – snakes, ranges in size, coloration, temperament, can be either venomous or non-venomous, various subspecies found in all regions of Prime. 

Common Garden Kut Măgath – medium sized black snake often found in gardens, eats small rodents, lizards, and insects, non-venomous, fairly non-aggressive unless directly threatened. 

Roklan – the largest species of snake native to Cardassia Prime, found only in the jungles of the Southern continent, non-venomous, but extremely rare due to habitat loss.

Cova - medium to large snake found in the lower mountainous regions and rocky outcroppings, coloration ranges from sandy to red to brown, often has bands or speckles to help it camouflage, very thick body, highly venomous, venom causes seizures and distress on the pulmonary system, a single bite can kill an adult Cardassian, the venom has been known to have been harvested by the Obsidian Order for use in toxic agents, vulnerable (pronounced sho-vah)   ·        

Taspar (bird) – small avian species found in less arid regions of Prime, colorful, known for its beautiful song, most common along the coastal regions, but has been known to colonize cities where water is plentiful·        

Regova (bird) – avian species found primarily in the desert and surrounding areas, four legs and two large wings, powerful jaws and talons for attacking prey and defending their nests, females are particularly aggressive, especially when nesting or guarding recently hatched young, feathers are generally rust colored with a shiny black beak and large black eyes, vulnerable due to eggs being harvested for food·        

Riding Hound (mammal) – canine like animal, approximately the size of a horse with a long snout and a tufted tail, large, tufted paws good for moving on desert sands and rocky areas, colors range from light gray to black, mostly domesticated, though can be willful, originally used for transportation, but now mostly kept for sport and enjoyment, common·        

Dwarf Riding Hound (mammal) – a miniature version of a Riding Hound, approximately the size of a goat, domesticated and very docile, originally breed to pull carts and plows, now used for children’s riding and enjoyment, greater range of color and coat patterns than full size Riding Hounds, common·        

Kovabug (insect) – a small, hard-shelled insect known for its beautiful coloration, the outer shell is a deep blue with hints of green in the sunlight, the shell splits to deploy the wings underneath, which make a pleasant humming sound as the insect flies, highly prized by Cardassian children, who often collect the colorful discarded shells when the insect molts, common in most regions with decent vegetation·        

Urall (mammal) – a largish herbivore, prized for its hide, which is used to make high-end leather, extinct in the wild, but kept by a small handful of artisans who produce the leather for the Cardassian elite ·        

Flayers (tUrn’hU) – extremely dangerous predatory animal, found in the desert, sand colored fur and scales with deep gray forehead “spoon,” large, piercing fangs, excellent eyesight and hearing, armored back and ridges along spine and around eyes, six legs, prey on everything from gettle to zabu, have been known to even attack and kill adult Cardassians, hunt in small packs of 5-10 members, but can be cannibalistic, vulnerable·        

Gettle (mammal) – smaller pack animal, grazers that live off of the sturdy grasses that grow on the outskirts of Prime’s many deserts, reddish-brown colored fur with a white underbelly, all have spiraling black horns, though the males are larger than the females, have become extremely rare due to poaching·        

Onyx Beetles (insect) – named for their color, commonly found in gardens, will often burrow underground and eat the roots of plants, common·        

Sleg Corgan (reptile) – large reptile native to the lower regions of the Northern continent, carnivorous, but has also been known to scavenge on deceased prey, incredibly well adapted to food scarcity, it eats only twice a year, known for slow movement, except when hunting, and spends most of its time completely motionless, rare·        

Utoxa (bird) – water fowl, found primarily along the coast near Lakarian City and Culat during the warm winters in that area, will migrate to the equatorial region during the cooler months, long turquoise feathers with dark blue underbellies and webbed feet, fish eaters, vulnerable·        

Scottril (tUrn’hU) – related to the vole, six legs and a small forehead “spoon,” lives primarily in city sewers and other dark, damp areas, colors range from dark brown to black, limited eyesight, but extremely keen sense of smell, common ·        

Toj’Lath (tUrn’hU) – ancient ancestor of the modern Cardassian, about half the height of an adult Cardassian, but very broad, similar ridge structure and coloration, though it has more blue highlights and scaling, highly intelligent, has a series of horns that start on the bridge of the nose, which increase in size as they run up to the hairline, strong prehensile tail, unlike most tUrn’hU, the “egg horn” never drops off, but stays in the place of the forehead “spoon,” revered by the Hebitians and often depicted on ancient tombs and religious artifacts, rare·        

Hekant (mammal) – a small, herbivorous mammal with long ears, known for its downy coat, mostly domesticated and used for meat and fur, though there are still some wild varieties found in various regions of Prime, selectively bred for a variety of colors and coat patterns, sometimes kept as pets, common  ·        

Rhirzum (mammal) – a large feline with elongated fangs, also found only in the jungles of the Southern continent, however, fossil evidence suggests that this species used to be found across Prime, only known mammalian species on Prime to have developed venom, which can be sprayed and is akin to acid, causing severe pain, scarring, and blindness, it is believed that their venom was diluted with other compounds by the Hebitian clergy and when ingested produced trance-like states, rare due to habitat loss·        

Thăv’os (tUrn’hU) – a medium sized, horned animal with six legs and a very faint forehead “spoon,” found in the upper regions of the mountains, remarkable at climbing the steep cliffs, the bones of its legs were extremely thin, but very solid and were often harvested to be used as writing implements, primarily covered in light gray scales, but has a mane of white, feathery hair on its head, chest, and shoulders, vulnerable ·        

Vompăt (mammal) – a small, domesticated animals with a long, furry body and four short legs, extremely friendly and curious, make excellent pets, common·        

Zeryd (bird) – a large avian animal, two pairs of small, non-functional wings, but has two long, extremely powerful legs ending in two clawed toes, a kick can disembowel most prey and they will eat almost anything, including carrion, tearing off chunks of flesh with their razor sharp beaks, both males and females are covered in shiny, black feathers, despite being found in more arid regions of Prime, rare·        

Arafta (tUrn’hU) a moderately sized animal found only on a small island off the Southern continent peninsula, it is covered in beige armored scales, though it also has a smattering of fur, it spends most of its life in the trees, where it uses its claws to dig into the bark for insects, though it will also eat fruit, lives in small family groups, intelligent and curious, but extremely rare due to limited habitat