cishet is a slur

LGBT: insufficiently inclusive

LGBTQQIA: increasingly cumbersome, subject to mockery, still not fully inclusive

GSM: co-opted by pedophiles apparently

MOGAI: utterly swamped in Discourse

Queer: “q-slur”

Non-cishet: negative framing, weaponized against asexuals of insufficient purity

Help: me

things cis people say

“wait ur nonbinary? I thought you were trans!”
“But using your pronouns are hard!!”
“Cis is a slur!!!”
“I hate those trans people who always make a fuss!”
“Is that a man or a woman? *uses it/its*”
“I’m alright with trans people, I just hate those fake genders”
*Insert 500 transphobic jokes*
“They’re just jokes oh my god! You’re so sensitive”
“Lmao men in dresses are so funny”
“But what if a man says he’s a woman and sneaks into the bathroom to assault people”
“you’re pretty cute for a trans man/woman”
“which bathroom do you use”
“what’s in your pants”
“are u pre op?”
“How do you have sex?”
“so technically you’re a (insert assigned gender)”
“So she- well, she thinks she’s a boy but I’ve known her for a long time so it’s okay”
“I’ve never met a trans before !!”
"i can misgender you cos you’re a cunt”
“you’re not even trans”
“But you don’t look trans!”
“I wouldn’t date a trans, I’m just not attracted to them”
“i identify as a dog LOL !!!”
“transgendered”
“down with trans”
“Cisphobia is just as bad as transphobia”
“how can you hate someone just for being transphobic?”
“down with cis is harmful”
“dysphoria cant be that bad”
“down with hate”
“I’m not transphobic my sister’s friend’s cousin’s nephew is trans!”
“You transgenders will say anything’s transphobic”
“im not transphobic i thought i was trans 
"are you sure you’re not just butch?”
“you’re too young to know your’re trans!”
“you’re too old to know you’re trans!”
“why is being trans suddenly a trend?”
”*t-slur*“
"i can say that i have a trans friend”
“this is (birthname) she thinks she’s a boy!”
“oh she’s playing dress up”
“i’ve never dated a trans but i’m up for experimenting”
“i can say that i have a trans friend”

anonymous asked:

QUEER!! SPACES!! ARE!! NOT!! FOR!! LG PEOPLE!! YOU ARE NOT ERASED OR TOLD YOU'RE "NOT QUEER ENOUGH", YOU BENEFIT FROM CISNORMATIVITY AND ALLONORMATIVITY JUST LIKE FULLY STRAIGHT CIS PPL!! LG PEOPLE INHERENTLY OPPRESS ALL OTHER QUEER IDENTITIES!! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!!

the moon has flesh!! the moon has flesh!! the moon has flesh!! the moon has flesh!! it’s not that hard!!

I hope cishet inclusionists are aware that when they say that for a person to be straight they need to be the heterosexual and heteromantic they’re, by default, implying that to be bi you have to be bisexual and biromanitc or to be gay you have to be both h*m*sexual and h*m*romantic, all of which play into the ignorant view that gay aces or bi aces are just ‘watered down’, something you lot accuse us of doing.

You need to sit back and reevaluate what you’re saying because it’s inaccurate and actually harmful.

Aces and aros aren’t inherently straight, yes, but aces and aros are inherently lgbt+ either because of the fact that they can be both cis and het.

trans/queerphobia is not limited solely to the actual murder of people it also includes but is not limited to:

  • casual cissexism (ie. “girls are so strong dealing with their periods!”)
  • denial of privilege (ie. “yeah gay people might have it hard but i have it hard too and im straight!!”)
  • trivialization of oppression (ie. “not all cis people are like that!! theres a few assholes out there, but most people are accepting!”)
  • passive bi-standing (ie. not actively oppressing trans/queer people but also not DOING ANYTHING when they are being oppressed)
  • refocusing attention onto the privileged party (ie. “yeah you may get called a [t slur] but you called me a cishet which is bullying!!”)
  • weaponizing support (ie. “now that you were mean to me i dont know if i want to support queer people anymore”)
  • invalidation of anger (ie. “just because youre oppressed doesnt mean you can just bully people!”)
  • simplifying oppression (ie. “lets all just be nice to each other!”)
  • erasure of identities (ie. “just stop labeling yourself and you wont get oppressed!”
  • speaking over an oppressed party [whether for profit or not] (ie. MACKLEMORE)
cishet ace/aro positivity !
  • cishet aces/aros who call out aphobia even though it doesn’t exist ( *ˊᵕˋ)
  • cishet aces/aros who call themselves queer even though it’s a slur against actual lgbt people (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)
  • cishet aces/aros who reach for representation during pride month even though they aren’t lgbt (◔◡◔✿)
  • cishet aces/aros who think it’s fine that staff included the ace flag and not the lesbian flag in their logo for pride ♡(灬´ㅂ`灬)
  • cishet aces/aros who use lgbtqia+ as an acronym even though “qia+” shouldn’t be there at all (。・ω・。)
  • cishet aces/aros who won’t give actual lgbt people even a month of peace for our needed representation ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ノ゙

anonymous asked:

I want to wear a Queer AF shirt to the parade but I'm aware that some people still see it as slur and some get offended by it and some might even get triggered or something. What should I do? Find another shirt or just wear it?

Wear it! Queer is a totally acceptable word for self-identification and as an umbrella term. It’s been reclaimed decades ago and this whole anti-”queer”-talk is only some weird ass tumblr thing.

Homophobic people use “gay” as a slur all the fucking time yet nobody even flinches at people who wear “gay as fuck” shirts to Pride. It’s only when people use “queer” (aka the one term that is inclusive of everyone who isn’t cishet = bi/pan people, ace/aro people, non-binary and genderqueer people) that some uptight language policing exclusionists wave the “but it’s a slur”-flag.

So fuck them! Use “queer” and do it with pride!!!

Maddie

andthereaderbecamethebook  asked:

Hello, I am a proud cishet asexual!!! We definitely exist, and are PROUD to be members of the LGBTQIA+ community!!! We would also like to pass along the message that we are deeply confused about your acephobic, small mindset and suggest that you open your mind to not hating on other people :)

“im proud to invade the spaces of people i hold systematic oppressive power over because those filthy queers are the REAL bigots!”

Jughead: Aphobes & A-specs

A-spec person: Omg, it’s amazing that Garnet is aroace!

Aphobes: No! Garnet just doesn’t want to date men, and had never shown any interest in anyone! She’s obviously a lesbian. End of story! Stop stealing representation from other people who have planted their headcanon flag in a character already!!!

A-spec person: Whoa, Yuuri Katsuki is really relatable to how I have experienced being asexual!

Aphobes: No! We somehow know Yuuri feels sexual attraction! Why can’t you leave our representation alone? We know secretly that all a-spec people are cishet, so stop trying to pretend that you’re not! Why can’t you just be happy with the representation that you already have???????

Aphobe: Hey, did you all see this Jughead guy? Omg, he’s definitely gay.

A-spec people:

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

I feel like one thing the “queer is a slur” crowd overlooks...

…is that the word gay has been used so overwhelmingly as a pejorative, as a slur, that most children in the U.S. in the past several decades likely grew up learning “gay” as a word for bad, strange, or wrong before they fully understand that there are “gay” people, and that it’s not just a word with negative connotations.

Kids grow up hearing “That’s so gay!” said with such vehemence relating to topics that those same kids aren’t remotely educated about, and they just internalize that it’s bad. This is how you get elementary schoolers saying, “Mr. Hopkins gave us homework, he’s so gay,” and the same elementary schoolers grow up to be high schoolers and adults who say, “What? I don’t mean gay like gay people, I mean gay like stupid or bad.”

And some of them aren’t overt homophobes in any other way… but dang, you teach little kids that a word that describes a class of people means “bad” and “wrong” before they know those people exist, and that’s bound to shape the way they think about things, isn’t it?

And in contrast you get queer kids who start to put 2+2 together about what “gay” really means a little bit faster than the kids around them because they’re desperate for some information, some hints of meaning… but they’re also hearing the same lessons as everybody else, that gay=bad, gay=wrong, gay=undesirable, gay=something no one ones and no one should be, gay is the worst thing you can be.

In the small town I lived in and the school I went to, nobody ever hit me and called me queer. No one ever shouted “queer” from a moving car while I was walking home. No one ever threatened or inflicted violence on me with the word “queer” on their lips.

Gay, though? Yes. And variations on the f-slur, but gay itself was enough of an invective, enough of a pejorative, to the people flinging it.

“Gay” was the slur that cishet people threw at me as a form of violence, often in corollary with physical violence. “Queer” is a word that I learned online, from members of my community. My experience of the former word is as an attack, while the other was as a sanctuary and respite from that attack.

Now, I’m not a gay man, but a bisexual trans woman. I was still sorting that out at the time, but I doubt it would have made a difference to many of my tormenters if I’d been able to explain it properly.

So when “gay” is used as the happy-go-lucky umbrella for what I would personally call the queer community, gay with even its positive connotations strongly coded as male, I’m not just being misgendered/swept under a default label of male along with a lot of other women and non-binary folks, I’m being forced to accept a label that I never sought, one that is definitely used as a pejorative and a slur, and a slur that was specifically used as a weapon against me.

Both “gay” and “queer” have the same problematic histories and problematic presents. They have both been subject to reclamation efforts. To me, the difference is how those efforts are organized. 

“Gay” is an attempt to normalize, to assimilate, to take the elements of our community that are most palatable to the heteronormative homogeneous hegemony and emphasize them, making those elements even more palatable and altering or hiding the other elements of the community. 

“Gay” is like trying to get into an exclusive school that you fear is likely to reject you for prejudiced reasons, so you keep your nose clean, make sure you take all the right extracurriculars, polish your cover letter and personal essay, and try to make the right contacts with influential people on the inside… and if you have to hide some of your past activities, break ties with friends who are less presentable, and de-emphasize your family to make sure the admissions office doesn’t get the wrong idea about what you’d bring to their institution, well, it’ll be worth it, because that’s what you have to do get a, you know, fair shake.

“Queer” rejects that. Queer rejects homogeny, it does not demand that we sand down our rough edges or smooth out our contours. It does not seek to reshape ourselves or our community to fit ever-evolving standards designed to keep us out, but it challenges those standards.

If “gay” is trying to appeal to a bigoted admissions board by being smooth and shiny enough to slip in, “queer” is challenging the admissions board to accept or reject you on your own merits as you exist, and challenging the bigoted assumptions that underline the power structure as revealed by this. It’s bypassing the admissions board by creating your own infrastructure for sharing resources and information. 

I have a suspicion that a certain percentage of the intra-community backlash against the word “queer” is not because the negative connotations of the word hurt us as listeners, but rather that the radical connotations of the word hurt the effort to make the community acceptable to a presumed default “general audience”, to assimilate gayness into heteronormativity. 

I.e., it is less, “Queer makes people think it’s okay to bash us.” and more “Queer makes people think we’re not like them.”

Most people end posts in defense of the label “queer” and the umbrella term “queer community” by saying “I won’t call queer if they’re not comfortable with it,” and most of them get told, “BUT THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE DOING WHEN YOU SAY ‘QUEER COMMUNITY!”

I’ve never yet seen anybody talking about the gay community have to disclaim that they’re not using the word to people who view it as unreclaimed slur or who just plain find it too hurtful to have even given that discourse any thought.

I won’t call someone queer if they don’t think of themselves a queer. I will use queer as an umbrella term. If that’s not you, you can cheerfully include yourself out of it. 

And heck, I’m doing you a solid. If you didn’t have a queer community to point to, you wouldn’t have anyone you could point to when you want to clarify that you’re not like those people.

“Cishet people get called q***r, therefore they can reclaim it.”

Cishet people get called q***r in the same way that dudebros call each other the f slur. Like, yeah, it’s used to police normativity, but it does that in ways that are homophobic and transphobic.

When cishet people get called the q slur it’s intended to prey on and instill feelings of homophobia and transphobia because it’s used specifically to imply that the target is gay or trans and that that’s a bad thing that people should be ashamed of being associated with.

This idea that people can reclaim every slur they’ve ever personally been called is a complete failure to understand how slurs fucking work or, on a basic level, literally what words even are.

i really don’t like this new thing where “progressive” news outlets like huffpost replace almost every instance of “lgbt” with “queer.” not only are they applying that label (a slur!!!!) to every lgbt person, it gets cishets saying shit like “i read a lot about queer issues.” like, its not bad that they’re mainstreaming the experiences of lgbt people and making our stories more accessible, i love that. i just think it teaches cishets that we can all be called “queer” and that’s the preferred term now. 

so i wielded my songwriting powers and created a song about cishet aces and discourse. it’s written from the deep and powerful perspective of an aphobe suffering from internalized aphobia. hope u enjoy. 

Anon Submission

“People don’t see how harmful “cishet” is when it’s used against aro and ace people, even if they’re heterosexual or heteroromantic. When you call us “cishet” right along side cis heterosexual heteroromantic people you are saying we are just the same as them. You are saying that our asexuality/aromanticism has no place anywhere, not even in affecting our own lives. Being asexual is a markedly different experience than being heterosexual. Being aromantic is a markedly different experience than being heteroromantic. Those things aren’t erased. By calling us all “cishet” (not to even get into how cishet is used against other queer people) you are erasing our ace/aro identities and experiences and shoving us out. You are actively calling us the same as people who also cast us out. In the end then, are we welcome nowhere?”