cirque-du-freak

Real life’s nasty. It’s cruel. It doesn’t care about heroes and happy endings and the way things should be. In real life, bad things happen. People die. Fights are lost. Evil often wins.
—  Cirque du Freak: A Living Nightmare by Darren Shan 
Alternate Titles for DSS books:
  • Book 1:Put That Fucking Spider Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me
  • Book 2:A Child Disappears And His Parents Will Never Know He Was Eaten Alive
  • Book 3:Nothing Good Has Ever Happened In A Slaughter House Why The Fuck Would You Go In There
  • Book 4:Road Trip And Camping Basically
  • Book 5:Creative Ways To Kill A 16-Year-Old, A Memoir By The Vampire Princes
  • Book 6:How Is This Fucking Kid Still Not Dead JFC
  • someone continue the list!

the reason none of my friends know that i love cdf bc its the stupidest thing to explain like 

“yeah this kid steals a spider then like ruins the whole universe" 

"theres these vampires but theyre like the opposite vampires cuz theyre purple" 

"and all these vampires live in a mountain. its called vampire mountain. no im really not making this shit up i swear." 

All I can say after seeing that Netflix will be making A Series of Unfortunate Events an actual, live-action show is to PLEASE undo the nasty injustice of the Cirque du Freak movie. Make it a young adult series, please. I love both book series dearly, but I want to see Cirque du Freak’s beautiful and disturbing world brought to the screen the right way.