Understanding Emo Bands

Fall Out Boy: you can’t

Neon Trees: not considered an emo band despite being loved by many emos

Black Veil Brides: Andy Biersack and friends

My Chemical Romance: we don’t talk about this.

Sleeping With Sirens: the lead singer is a male

Pierce The Veil: this lead singer is also a male

Bring Me The Horizon: you only ever hear about them from your one friend who likes them

Imagine Dragons: an emo band that emos don’t listen to

Evanescence: they have that song that everyone knows but people still get the name wrong

In This Moment: Maria Brink

Avenged Sevenfold: they have that song about zombie sex

The Pretty Reckless: Cindy Lou Who

Shinedown: you either know that one song or you know all the songs.

Seether: their name is everywhere but you rarely actually hear their music

KoRn: corn jokes

Nickelback: hated so much that many emos refuse to call them an emo band

Falling In Reverse: they’re the band with that album cover where the tongue looks like a gross pickle

Linkin Park: meme

Marilyn Manson: this is the emo’s Jesus

Green Day: Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

Three Days Grace: taken over by creepypasta

Hollywood Undead: also taken over by creepypasta

Bullet For My Valentine: you like them but don’t know the names of any of their songs

The Killers: that blue coloured album with the buildings and the sky has Mr Brightside on it

why are we never talking about the grinch?


The Two Types of Every Sign

a) You’re either THE loudest person in the room, constantly starting arguments and planning the next party
b) You’re playing scrabble and silently or quietly passing shade on the people surrounding you, or you’re home happy to be the fuck away from people.

Taurus: a) You’re either the most caring loving devoted person, whose laughter sounds like sunlight
b) You’re a mean bitch who loves to gossip about literally every single person that existed.

Gemini: You’re either witty and intelligent, with sparkling charm that you bestow upon all your besotted admirers
b) You’re a broody moody sad fuck who will stab you in the back to save themself or just because :))))

Leo: You’re either the most fun person in the room, with childlike wonderment about the world
b) You’re a smug chill cheschire cat who got the cream and is eating it ;)

Virgo: You’re either sitting there quietly observing your surroudings only stopping to add occasional witty one liners
b) You’re the LIFE of the party, wait no; You ARE the party. Shots? You’re pouring them! Breaking and Entering into a locked basement party, you’re the mastermind. You’re a funny sign Virgo.

Libra: You’re either dressing all your friends up in your clothes and sharing all your makeup with them because you’re a kind generous soul, while also debating moral issues
You’re a snobby mean person whose nose is so upturned you may as well be Cindy Lou Who ;P

Scorpio: You’re either sitting there encouraging and chanting on the squad doing drugs and alcohol, talking about the world as if you’ve learnt every crevice and cranny
You’re not saying a thing. You’re not even there. No one sees you, yet you see all.

Saggitarius: You’re either lighting up the bonfire and handing out smore sticks and playing the guitar for all your groupies
You’re smashing literally every person at Cards against Humanity. Yes, you are the funniest person in the room. Don’t let it go to your head, oh wait. It already did.

Capricorn: You’re either the Mother Hen, helping drunk and disorderlies to bed, you ARE Nurse Joy; Everyone comes to you for advice. There is nothing you don’t have in your handbag.
You’re a cynical ass who is shade AF, the literal opposite from you’re other sort of capricorn, you need ALL the help. You’ll smash those pregame drinks and drugs early and spend the night being comforted as you lay in your own vomit :)))

Aquarius: You’re likely drawing the party, rolling creative joints and encouraging everyone to jump off the roof. You’re a wild child Aqua.
You’re at home knitting. No inbetween.