cinderella (musical)

How to feel like a princess getting ready for a politically important ball

*Use a sugar scrub or make one with ¼ cup of sugar + ¼ cup of oil (like coconut or olive or avocado) + a splash of vanilla extract + a few drops of lavender EO—pat dry when you come out of the water so the oil will stay behind to nourish your skin

*Soak in a bath of honey, milk, and flower petals

*Brush out your lightly dried and detangled hair with a wooden comb that has been oiled with a hair oil (may I suggest camellia oil—it is a light oil that sinks in beautifully)

*If you have acne prone skin, wash your face after oiling your hair

*Remember, “presentation is manipulation”—this is a time for you to shine

*Listen to music that makes you feel powerful and confident—sing along to enhance the effect

*Wear a perfume that you love (vanilla is near universally pleasing if you care about how other people will respond to the scent)

*Dark lipstick is more intimidating—it will make people listen

*Natural lips suggest a friendly, easy-to-get-along-with personality

*If you wear heels, walk confidently

*If you wear flats, walk confidently

*Remember you own the space you exist in

*Wear colors that make you feel powerful—screw advice that would tell you that you can’t wear whatever color you want

*Don’t let others speak over you—your voice is worthy of being heard and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

story time
  • so during this show
  • (cinderella)
  • (i was a stepsister)
  • we made a bet
  • it was a bet on me
  • but not some wishy washy bet for a sandwhich deal
  • this was real life
  • this was money
  • and the bet was that I could not touch every butt of every person in the show
  • (every butt)
  • i took the challenge immediately 
  • (i am not weak)
  • but I had to do it all in one show
  • and i had
  • 10 minutes
  • (10 minutes of time when i was not onstage)
  • so what is a girl to do
  • i can not touch every butt backstage
  • (every butt)
  • i had limited time
  • i had to get
  • creative
  • i get the techies first
  • it took me the whole ten minutes
  • (they run fast)
  • and I get the extras and some others in the dance sequence
  • (multitasking)
  • but here’s the thing
  • now I have to get the main actors
  • how will she do it?
  • you ask
  • well
  • i will tell you
  • i’ll tell you how i did it
  • it’s called acting
  • i touched the butts
  • onstage
  • (all of the butts)
  • i touch the prince’s servant’s butt on my way onstage
  • (a light tap)
  • (too fast for the naked eye to see)
  • oh but he felt it
  • he knew
  • he knew i was out for the butts
  • (every butt)
  • i saw the fear in his eyes
  • no
  • he mouths to me
  • but it is too late
  • i’ve gone too far
  • i must not stop
  • twenty minutes until the end
  • i must work fast
  • i touch my stepsister’s butt
  • she is not surprised
  • she has bet money on this
  • (she knows what i am capable of)
  • i touch my stepmother’s butt
  • she is standing
  • she forgets her line
  • (she has lost seven dollars)
  • and now things become
  • difficult
  • i am on the floor of the stage
  • (for the scene)
  • and the prince
  • (the next victim)
  • (he has bet against me)
  • he is standing above me
  • facing away from me
  • butt first
  • this is my chance
  • it is now or never
  • i put a hand on the back of his leg
  • he knows
  • he is speaking
  • his voice cracks
  • he smells defeat
  • his defeat
  • my hand ventures up
  • (towards the butt)
  • he begins to sing
  • i touch the butt
  • (every butt)
  • i have won
  • he stumbles over a word
  • he is the loser
  • the curtain closes
  • i have done it
  • all that is left is the wedding scene
  • i have touched all the butts
  • (every butt)
  • i can’t believe you got cinderella’s butt
  • one says backstage
  • my heart stops
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs
  • i have not gotten the last butt
  • (the most precious butt)
  • i cannot do it
  • i think
  • i am in a quick change
  • (another girl’s hands are down my pants)
  • i cannot do this during the wedding scene
  • but i will not lose
  • i have come so far
  • i stop
  • your shoes
  • the techie says
  • i cannot come back
  • it must be done
  • i walk
  • no
  • i run
  • to the next room
  • cinderella is there
  • wearing a tan leotard
  • this is it
  • i think
  • i do not know this girl well
  • (she is catholic)
  • god forgive me for the sin i am to commit
  • i whisper
  • (i cross my chest)
  • the time has come
  • a crowd has circled around the room
  • they are watching
  • waiting
  • cinderella does not know
  • she has not yet truly been exposed to the world and its horrors
  • (she will be)
  • i stop
  • i am so close
  • i do it
  • both hands are on the butt
  • (the most precious butt)
  • i have done it
  • i’m sorry
  • i say
  • it had to be done
  • don’t stop
  • she says
  • what
  • i say
  • i did not expect this
  • a variable has been thrown into the equation
  • (the butt equation)
  • i like it
  • she says
  • she looks back at me
  • i look at her
  • (ten seconds until curtain)
  • she does not blink
  • (nine seconds)
  • i do not know what to do
  • (eight seconds)
  • my hands are still on the butt
  • (seven )
  • i want to move them but i cannot
  • (six)
  • i am not wearing shoes
  • (five)
  • the stage manager busts in
  • (saved by the manager)
  • the next five seconds are a blur
  • my hands are no longer on the butt
  • (i don’t know how)
  • i am on stage
  • i am not wearing shoes
  • the theatre teacher is in the audience
  • she knows
  • she sees
  • this is the end
  • i think
  • it was worth it
  • i bow
  • i am smiling
  • i have won
10

What is it about the Walt Disney Records: The Legacy Collection series that makes them so appealing? Is it the Mary Blair-esque packaging by Lorelay Bove? The small reproductions of the original concept art and character designs found inside? Or maybe it’s just the way they’re put together like tiny, little hardcover ‘Art Of’ books?

It’s all of this.

And THE MUSIC. Definitely the music!

all pics by le jolly roger

if I watch any Disney movies with you then don’t expect that we’re just gonna “watch it”. no. we’re gonna sing the songs, know the choreography, memorize the lines, and I expect you to understand the references. Because once you agree to watch with me, there is no turning back.