cider in the bottle

The Yams per Minute Story

SO… WHY ISN’T THIS EVERYWHERE BY NOW.

Misha told us a new story today at the panel. A college days story, which is my favorite kind of story.

Because college students are poor, Misha lived off of cheap, nutritious foods like rice and beans. He also recalled reading somewhere that you can live off of yams, so he bought 10 at the store one day on impulse (maybe they were having a sale at the time?). He brought them home, but of course he didn’t eat them right away and they started to go bad.

He realizes that he has to eat them all fairly quickly, so he decides to turn it into a game.

He bets his four roommates $10 each that he can eat these 10 yams in 10 minutes. They take him up on it. He eats the first yam in a minute and a half, and he gets through the second one by like the 6 minute mark and he’s starting to gag. He’s halfway through the third before he realizes that he is never going to finish and he feels awful. So he gives up and calls the competition off.

In his defeat he wobbles over to the pantry, and he sees this bottle of apple cider vinegar sitting there. Conveniently, he remembered that as kids, he and Sasha used to take shots of that stuff so he believed he’d built up a tolerance for it.

He carries the bottle back over to the table and he says, “Ok, guys. Double or nothing I drink this whole thing… in one minute.”

He throws up all over the fucking place. 

It happened so quickly that he didn’t even realize what was happening at first. It just all came out. Everywhere.

So by the end of the day, college-aged Misha is out $80 and he has to clean up his own yam-and-vinegar puke mixture off the kitchen floor.

Benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar

1. Cures Diarrhoea 
- Try mixing 1-2 tablespoons into water and drink. Apple cider vinegar contains pectin that can help soothe intestinal spasm. 

2. Cures Hiccups
- Take a teaspoon of Apple Cider Vinegar and it’s sour taste will stop hiccups immediately.

3. Soothes sore throat 
- Mix ¼ teaspoons of Apple Cider Vinegar with ¼ cups of warm water and gargle every hour or so. Germs won’t survive in the acidic environment that Apple Cider Vinegar creates. 

4. Lowers Cholesterol
- Take half an ounce of Apple Cider Vinegar on daily basis to lower cholesterol

5. Prevents Indigestion
- Mix one teaspoon of honey and 1 teaspoon of Apple Cider Vinegar into warm water and drink it 30 minutes before you have your food especially during parties and family dinner where you know you will be forced to indulge. 

6.Sinus Pain/ Nasal Congestion 
Mix a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in a glass of water and drink to help sinus drainage.

7. Weight Lost
- Every morning start your day by drinking solution of two glasses of water mixed with two large spoons of apple cider vinegar. This drink accelerates metabolism and burns fat. The acetic acid suppresses your appetite, increases your metabolism, and reduces water retention. 

8. Helps Clear Dandruff 
- Mix ¼ cup apple cider vinegar with ¼ cup water in a spray bottle, and spritz on your scalp. Wrap your head in a towel and let sit for 15 minutes to an hour, then wash your hair as usual. Do this twice a week for best results.

9. Helps Clears Acne
- Acne are typical for teenagers and people with extremely oily skin. In order to eliminate those little skin imposters, simply mix 1 part apple cider vinegar to every 2-3 parts water and wash your face in the morning, in the afternoon and before going to bed. No more acnes definitely.

10. Helps Cure Permanent Fatigue/ Energy Booster
- This modern and extremely fast life style is often accompanied by permanent fatigue that surely leads to anemia. To avoid this, simply put together 3 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar in 1 small pot of honey. Keep this mixture in a jar in refrigerator and consume every night after dinner.

11. Night time leg cramps
- Leg cramps can often be a sign that you’re low in potassium. Since apple cider vinegar is high in it, one home remedy suggests mixing 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar and one teaspoon honey to a glass of warm water and drink to relieve nighttime leg cramps.

12. Bad Breath
- Gargle with it, or drink a teaspoon (diluted with water if you prefer) to kill odor-causing bacteria.

13. Whitens Teeth
- Gargle with apple cider vinegar in the morning. The vinegar helps remove stains, whiten teeth, and kill bacteria in your mouth and gums. Brush as usual after you gargle. You can also brush your teeth with baking soda once a week to help remove stains and whiten your teeth; use it just as you would toothpaste. You can also use salt as an alternative toothpaste. If your gums start to feel raw, switch to brushing with salt every other day.

14. High Blood Pressure/ Diabetes 
People suffering from obesity escorted with high blood pressure and perhaps difficult breathing, should consume two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar mixed with one average glass of water. This mixture is consumed 3 times a day and the high blood pressure will be history.

15. Headache
- For people who suffer from splitting headaches as a result of stress and hard work simply mix 10 grams of apple cider vinegar 10 grams of honey and very slight amount of chamomile extract! This super soothing balm will just expel the head ache and will provide you nice and calming sleep.

Since US history is all the rage now, I thought I’d share some of my favorite stories about the founding fathers.

-John Adams and Thomas Jefferson once visited the home of Shakespeare together… and both broke off pieces of one of the writer’s chairs so that they could take home souvenirs.

-When he was given an official surrender document during the French-Indian War, George Washington blindly signed the thing because he didn’t want to admit he couldn’t read French. In doing so, he basically solely accepted the blame of multiple war crimes. Somehow he wormed his way out of this… one of his methods was to blame his translator.

-Ben Franklin was forbidden from writing the Declaration of Independence because the founding fathers thought he would try to slip in puns and jokes.

-John Hancock was a convicted smuggler. Charges were dropped against him after he hired John Adams for a lawyer.

-Aaron Burr was a firm believer in the intellectual equality of men and women and lobbied for women’s suffrage.

-John Adams named his dog Satan.

-James Madison was our smallest president, at 5'4" and roughly 100 pounds.

-When he was 26, Washington bribed voters into electing him into office with alcohol… he gave certain voters about a half gallon for choosing him.

-Ben Franklin once wrote an essay urging scientists to “improve the odor of flatulence.”

-Jefferson warned Lewis & Clark to beware of giant sloths during their expedition.

-Adams and Jefferson were the original bros; after a lifetime of friendship, bitterness, and more friendship, they died hours apart on the same day- July 4th. Adams’ last words were, “Jefferson survives.” Well, not quite.

-Washington crossed enemy lines during the Battle of Germantown to return a lost dog to General Howe.

-The Star Spangled Banner was based off of a rowdy English drinking song.

-Alexander Hamilton’s descendants heavily edited and even hid some of his letters to his totally hetero bro, John Laurens, claiming “the content was embarrassing and indecent.”

-Ben Franklin opted for the turkey to be the U.S. national bird, claiming that bald eagles were cold and volatile.

-A few days before signing the Declaration, the Constitutional Convention got LIT. It’s rumored that the founding fathers drank 54 bottles of Madeira, 7 bottles of Claret, 7 bowls of spiked punch, 22 bottles of porter, 8 bottles of whiskey and 8 bottles of hard cider in this one night.

❝30 texts to send to my muse:❞ | Sentence Starter

Warning(s): Alcohol

  1. [ text ]: I woke up to a half empty bottle of cider on my dresser. I drank it and have no regrets. Morning.
  2. [ text ]: I’d ask why there’s pictures of Kayne West all over my bedroom floor but I don’t actually want an answer at this point.
  3. [ text ]: I can hear your life falling apart through the ceiling.  Shut up.
  4. [ text ]: I just googled ‘Rarest Pepe’ and I’m crying.
  5. [ text ]: I just brought the Spice Girls Greatest Hits.
  6. [ text ]: I’ve had nothing to do all day so I’ve been learning the lyrics to ‘Trap Queen’.
  7. [ text ]: Be proud of drunk me. I managed to only eat HALF of a large pizza this time.
  8. [ text ]: We all got really drunk and communally agreed Bucky Barnes was a ‘cute little button babe’.
  9. [ text ]: What a massive egotistical penis.
  10. [ text ]: Does today require people clothes or can I just wear my pyjamas?
  11. [ text ]: I’m certain he heard me shout and LOUDLY ‘nap time comes before pants time’.
  12. [ text ]: I’m not responding to this because I have died. I’m dead. Dead people don’t answer texts.
  13. [ text ]: I think I’m going to retire and become a hermit.
  14. [ text ]: I want Lucky Charms.
  15. [ text ]: I’m not surprised he didn’t show up. He didn’t arrange it.
  16. [ text ]: I miss hugging you and smelling your hair (in a non-weird way!).
  17. [ text ]: Why are you saved in my phone as ‘Prison Wife’?
  18. [ text ]: I was in the middle of a check-up and the doctor quoted Jurrassic Park at me.
  19. [ text ]: I replaced your apple juice with whiskey six months ago.
  20. [ text ]: Why did you send me pictures of yourself dressed in all of my coats?
  21. [ text ]: I’ve watched so much Peppa Pig I am reaching my point of insanity.
  22. [ text ]: What a complete ball of Human-shaped trash.
  23. [ text ]: You need to stop shouting about Communism in public places.
  24. [ text ]: I was just legitimately asked if Human was a form of meat.
  25. [ text ]: The Devil has a British accent.
  26. [ text ]: You kept making train noises all night. Are you okay?
  27. [ text ]: I just brought some muscle cream and I smell like a herb garden.
  28. [ text ]: I think our neighbour may have gone rabid.
  29. [ text ]: I realise we were joking at the time but are you considering a stripping career?
  30. [ text ]: I don’t want to go out today. I’d rather wear wet socks all day.
Of All My Parents’ Friends

@heartthesouth asked: 

Imagine Roger describing 1960s Claire (and possibly his remembrance of 1940s Claire from his childhood) to Jamie.


One-shot; takes place just after the Gathering in book-verse (The Fiery Cross).

Bear in mind, this means Jamie and Roger are only *newly* on solid-ish ground after all the unpleasantness between them in Drums of Autumn. If you haven’t read the books, just imagine the very worst start a man could get off to with his father-in-law. (YIKES.) 

 -Mod Bonnie


Fraser’s Ridge, North Carolina

October, 1770 


Puiff-ee?”

The word sounded absolutely stupid coming out of his father-in-law’s mouth, which (infuriatingly!) made ROGER feel the foolish one. “C’mon, ye know. Poofy? Like—voluminous?—

Jamie Fraser snorted violently into his lunch of bread and pickle and Roger felt a wave of anxiety. Was the word somehow offensive in this time??  But surely ‘poofy’ was more easily misconstrued than—

But Jamie—seated on a log next to Roger’s boulder—came up grinning, still coughing on crumbs as he choked out, “Ye mean to say there was a time when Claire’s hair was MORE voluminous than it is NOW?” 

They both laughed and Roger drank in the relief of the camaraderie, flimsy as it might be. 

“Christ almighty,” Jamie swore with feeling as the laughter subsided, shaking his head in genuine incredulity, “however did she manage THAT?”

“I dinna ken exactly,” Roger admitted with a hopefully-easy shrug, passing the stone bottle of cider, “Claire’s was sort of—” he made a swooping gesture overtop his own crown “—um…I dinna ken how to describe it.. Kind of—”

“A bouffant,” Brianna interjected helpfully, plopping down next to Jamie (well, as much as a six-foot-tall woman with a sleeping baby strapped to her front could ‘plop’) and doing a quick sketch in the dirt with a stick.  

“Oh, aye, a *bouffant,*” He grinned, leaning over to kiss his wife and son, grateful for the buffer. “I definitely knew that’s what it was called.” 

“How does—? But—where do the curls go?” Jamie kept tilting his head from side to side like a puppy as he peered down, clearly having difficulty translating the rough illustration to his wife’s head. “And how in hell did she get it to stay all rounded and puffed up?” 

“HAIRSPRAY,” he and Bree said in unison, though he left the task of explaining aerosol cans and their uses to the engineer. 

By the end, Jamie was grinning like a fiend. “Claire would glue her hair into place every day for fashion??

“Yep!” Bree laughed, expertly cupping Jem’s head as she bent forward to reach for a hunk of bread, “unless she was doing an operation that day, obviously. Not much call for style under a scrub cap.” 

Shaking his head in gleeful wonder, Jamie turned back to Roger. “What else was different about ‘Sixties Claire,’ to your eye, other than the hair?”

“Oo, her groovy makeup!” Bree said through a large bite.

Gr–? Cosmetics, ye mean?” 

“Aye, just so!” Roger said, hoping to win some son-in-law points, meagre as they might be. “And ‘groovy’ just means daring in an admirable way.” 

“Well, that sounds like Claire, right enough. Does every woman wear the Greuvvy Makeup, then?” 

Bree shrugged. “Pretty much.” 

“I tell ye what, though,” Roger said emphatically, seeing the opportunity and seizing it, “Claire certainly didna need all that. Not one bit.”

It was like a horror film. 

Two identical faces swiveled on tall, twin necks, fixing him with identical expressions of amusement. Or possibly menace. Either way, absolutely TERRIFYING.

What?” he snapped, his face flushing as he looked back and forth between them.

Jamie’s eyebrows were raised. “Why should Claire not have needed the cosmetics?”

Bree raised hers to match, her lips quivering with suppressed laughter. “Yes, Roger: do tell!” 

He made a scoffing sound. “Well, no, I mean—”

“If ‘pretty much’ all women wore it,” Jamie asked, face completely inscrutable, “why should Claire have been any different?  

“No, she’s—Well, I mean she IS—” This was not going well. “All I was trying to say is Claire’s very—She’s got very lovely—” 

The movie had shifted into one where the out-of-control-robot car had locked you inside and was accelerating top-speed into a canyon. Cannot—BRAKE—

“—SKIN!”

“OH. MY. GODDD!!” Bree whooped with glee, making Jemmy jump in his sleep and thump his forehead against her chest. 

Jamie said nothing and only sipped his drink, but damn him, there was an effing GLEAM in those cats’ eyes. 

Bree coughed through her giggles and waved her hand in a ‘hold on, hold on’ gesture. “So—wait: when we met in Inverness….were you checking out my mother’s ‘skin’?”

“I wasna CHECKING HER OUT,” he insisted with a mocking tone to show what a ridiculous suggestion it was (but SHIT if he didn’t sound all kinds of guilty AND if he didn’t want to fling himself into a hole and never come out). Pull yourself the fuck together, MacKenzie. 

Look,” he sighed, “Claire’s a very attractive woman, and—”

“So we’ve gone from verra lovely to verra *attractive*, have we?” 

“It—I—” Damn that fucking ginger hide: Roger couldn’t tell if the man was poking fun or literally about to bash his head open against a tree. 

“Wait, wait, didn’t—oh JEEZ, it’s too much—” Bree was clutching Jem tight, dying with laughter, and was NOT giving this up. “Didn’t you tell me once that Mama reminded you of Anne Bancroft??”

ffffffffffucking hellllllllllllllllllllll

“Who’s that?” Jamie demanded, his narrowed eyes snapping to Roger.  

Yep, it had now become the kind of horror movie where the supporting actor looks at the camera and gets in that *one great scream* for their reel right before they get eaten alive to thicken the plot for the protagonists. 

Bree was on a roll. “A famous, very *sexy* actress! She was in a—play (sort of) with Dustin Hoffman who has the role of this university boy who is seduced by an older wo—”

“—S’QUITE ENUFF’A’THAT!” His voice cracked on the panicked outburst (can a man not catch a BREAK???), at which his wife dissolved into further spasms. “Oh for God’s sake, Bree, it was YOU that I checked out, if ye need reminding!!” 

“And just why were ye ‘checking out’ an unmarrit lass?” Jamie said, turning expertly on the conversational dime, “A guest in your home, no less? MY daughter?” 

“I wasna—I ABSOLUTELY did NOT—Oh, for fuck’s SAKE!” 

They were both quaking with laughter where they sat. 

Roger threw up his hands up and stormed to his feet. “You two bloody deserve each other, ye know! Twisting a man’s words, ‘til—Oh, willye shut up and LISTEN, THE BOTH OF YE!” 

They knocked heads as they slumped against each other, tears streaming down their ruddy cheeks. 

Roger made huge, sweeping gestures to left and right for emphasis. “CLAIRE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL. BRIANNA IS VERY BEAUTIFUL. WE’RE ALL FAMILY NOW, CAN WE BE *DONE* WI’—”

“What on EARTH are you lot bellowing about!?!” 

He whirled around to see Claire, flushed and dirt-streaked, gathering basket in hand, her eyes wide. “Is everything alright?” 

Roger gave both redheads a sidelong glare that HE would have said could have melted steel, but just make Brianna shake even harder. She was suppressing outright cackling only by pressing her lips into the top of Jemmy’s fuzzy head. 

“Nay, all’s well, mo nighean donn,” Jamie said, surprising Roger by getting to his feet. He came over to put a hand on his wife’s waist and kiss her on the cheek. “Roger Mac, here, was only singing the praises of your great charm and beauty, mo ghraidh, much to the credit of ye both.”

“Oh! Well!” Claire flushed, sounding both surprised and pleased. “That’s very sweet of you, Roger, dear, thank you.” 

Roger, stunned, scraped up enough presence of mind to give her a smile and a little self-deprecating bow. 

She didn’t bother to suppress a grin as she went on her way toward the drying shed. “I rather needed that, today.”

Once she was out of earshot, Roger met Jamie’s eye and inclined his head with a sincere, “Thanks.” 

“Think nothing of it,” his father-in-law said, clapping him on the shoulder in passing as he headed back to the woodpile “…Dustin.”

um hi so i’m (just under) 50 away from 2k and it’d be ya know kinda cool if i could get there sometime (soon)… and yeap that’s my story (thanks for listening reading) (*awkwardly shuffles off stage ur screen*) 

Day 215: Tincturing Workshop

I’m leading a tincturing workshop this Sunday, so I thought it might be nice to share the packet I’m going to be handing out. It includes some tips on alcohol and vinegar tincturing, as well as recipes and some local Ozark yarbs to work into your herbal preparations. Enjoy!


Recipe Sheet – Tincturing Workshop

Brandon Weston
ozarkhealing.com
facebook.com/MountainManHealing
mountainmanhealing@gmail.com


Alcohol Tinctures

Fresh Herb:

  • Finely chop or grind clean herb to release juice and expose surface area.
  • Fill jar 2/3 to ¾ with herb. ~ OR ~ Fill jar ¼ to ½ with roots.
  • Pour alcohol over the herbs.
  • Jar should appear full of herb, but herb should move freely when shaken.

Dried Herb:

  • Use finely cut herbal material.
  • Fill jar ½ to ¾ with herb ~ OR ~ Fill jar ¼ to 1/3 with roots.
  • Pour alcohol over the herbs.
  • Roots will expand by ½ their size when reconstituted!

Alcohol Percentages*

40% – 50% (80-90 proof vodka)

  • “Standard” percentage range for tinctures.
  • Good for most dried herbs and fresh herbs that are not juicy.
  • Good for extraction of water soluble properties.

67.5% – 70% (½ 80 proof vodka + ½ 190 proof grain alcohol)

  • Extracts most volatile aromatic properties.
  • Good for fresh high-moisture herbs like lemon balm, berries, and aromatic roots.
  • The higher alcohol percentage will draw out more of the plant juices.

85% – 95% (190 proof grain alcohol)

  • Good for gums and resins.
  • Extracts aromatics and essential oils that are bound in the plant and do not dissipate easily.
  • The alcohol strength can produce a tincture that is not quite pleasant to take.
  • Often used for drop dosage medicines.
  • Will totally dehydrate herbs.

*information comes from the Mountain Rose Herbs blog

Macerating

  • Maceration is the process by which the active chemical compounds are leached into the solvent solution. This is usually done by shaking the jar that contains the alcohol or vinegar and the herbal plant matter. 
  • Alcohol tinctures need to be left to macerate for at least 2-3 weeks depending upon the ABV. The higher the ABV the less maceration time is needed.
  • Vinegar tinctures need to be left to macerate for at least a month before straining and bottling.

Easy Alcohol Tincture Recipes

Sarsaparilla Tincture: Anti-Inflammatory, Tonic (do not take if you have kidney problems)

  • Sarsaparilla root
  • Vodka

Wild Cherry Tincture: Antispasmodic, expectorant, sedative

  • Wild cherry bark
  • Vodka

Herbal Bitters (simplified): Tonic, diaphoretic, colds, flu, febrifuge, chills (contains thujone, may cause drowsiness)

  • 1 quart jar
  • ¼ c. thyme
  • ¼ c. oregano (or dittany)
  • ¼ c. chopped fresh ginger
  • ¼ c. hyssop
  • 1 cinnamon stick
  • 1 tbsp. cloves
  • Vodka

Stomach Bitters (simplified): Stomach issues, cramps, urinary issues, digestive issues

  • 1 quart jar
  • 4 tbsp dried dandelion root
  • 2 tbsp fennel seed
  • 2 tbsp fresh ginger
  • 2 tbsp dried peppermint leaves (or mountain mint)
  • Vodka

Vinegar Tinctures

  • Measurements and instructions are the same as with the alcohol tinctures at the beginning of the packet. Remember: vinegar tinctures need to be left longer to macerate, at least a month.

Easy Vinegar Tincture Recipes

Fire Tonic: Colds, flu, chills, general tonic

  • 1 32 oz. bottle apple cider vinegar. I like to use unfiltered, it seems to taste better and it’s easier on the stomach.
  • 5-10 cloves of garlic, crushed
  • 3-5 hot peppers, as hot as you can stand
  • 1 3 inch knob of ginger, crushed
  • 1 medium onion, peeled and diced
  • ¼ c. chopped mullein
  • ¼ c. chopped rosemary
  • ¼ c. chopped thyme
  • ¼ c. crushed star anise or green sweetgum balls (sources for shikimic acid which helps fight the flu virus)
  • Take all of this and combine it in large mason jar, all the herbs and vegetables are going to take up a lot of room. Let this stand in a dark place for about two months. Shake everyday. After it’s finished macerating strain off the liquid, add about a half cup honey, bottle.
  • Alternate Ozark yarbs to use: Dittany, Self-heal, Plantain, Horsemint

Vinegar Oxymels

  • Also called “sipping vinegars” these mixtures are basic vinegar tinctures sweetened and thickened with honey to make them more palatable.

Basic Oxymel:

  • 1 part herb : 3 parts honey and apple cider vinegar  
  • Quart mason jars: fill up ¼ jar with herb, ¼ with honey, then the rest with vinegar. Macerate for a few weeks.

Easy Oxymel Recipes

Colds and Immune System Oxymel:

  • 1 part elderberries
  • 1 part ginger root (dried)

Another for Colds with Cough Oxymel:

  • 1 part Mullein
  • 1 part Horehound

Stomach Complaints Oxymel:

  • 2 parts ginger
  • 1 part peppermint
  • 1 part fennel seed

Sinus Congestion Oxymel:

  • 2 parts garlic
  • 1 part cayenne pepper
  • 1 part thyme
  • 1 part rosemary

Beginners Ozark Medicinal Plants

Caution should always be taken when looking for medicinal plants out in the wild. Do not consume or use any plant that you are unsure about. The internet is a wonderful resource for plant identification. Look up photos and identification information for plants from reputable sources before collecting any plant out in the wild. NOTE also that many Ozark medicinal plants are endangered and should not be harvested out in the wild.

When wild-harvesting take only what you need at that time. DO NOT STOCKPILE! Chances are the plants will go bad before you can use them. A good rule of thumb for any plant is to count three plants then take one, that way there are plants left behind to go to seed. Leave the roots intact unless the root is being harvested, then try and leave a piece of the root or any seeds/berries behind in the soil.

Responsible harvesting means these medicinal plants will be around for many more generations.  

I’m not including photos of plants on purpose! I want folks to go look up the plants and find as many identifying photos and identifying information as they can. Do the work! Google is an amazing resource for plant identification.

+ means the plant is not native but is common in the Ozarks


Black-Eyed Susan, Rudbeckia hirta: Flowers, roots:

Root infusion used for dermatological needs. Used to wash snakebites. Decoction of whole plant taken to aid with heart disease. Decoction of root taken for colds and chills. Cold infusion of flowers taken for headache and as a febrifuge. Similar properties to other coneflowers (Purple coneflower, Missouri coneflower, etc.) Some say the active compounds are not water soluble. Better used as a tincture or extract.

*** Cautions: Asteraceae family ***


Cinquefoil, Five Finger Grass, Potentilla simplex: Leaves, root:

Leaves taken for colds and as a febrifuge. Root astringent, infusion taken for dysentery, diarrhea, and as a mouthwash for sores and thrush.


+Cleavers, Galium aparine: Leaves:

Strong infusion as laxative. Externally as a dermatological aid. Has been linked to aiding with lowering blood pressure.

*** Cautions: Laxative ***


Common Dittany, Cunila origanoides: Leaves, stems, flowers:

Related to Oregano and Marjoram and can be used in similar ways. As an infusion it’s good for colds and to help open up the sinuses. Boiled strong it helps the body sweat and can aid in lowering fevers. Infusion used to help aid a painful birth. Used as a stimulant and tonic. Contains trace amounts of thujone, an active chemical also found in wormwood, mugwort, and yarrow, and may cause drowsiness or headaches. Use only in small amounts and with caution.

*** Cautions: Contains trace amounts of thujone ***


Elderberry, Sambucus nigra or Sambucus canadensis: Berries, flowers, leaves, bark:

Berries used in formulas against chills and cold. Helps support the immune system. Infusion of berry used internally for rheumatism. Flower infusion used as a febrifuge and to sweat out a cold. Leaf infusion used to wash sores and prevent infection. Bark poultice used on sores, wounds, rashes, and other dermatological needs.

*** Cautions: Berries mildly toxic when unripe, foliage toxic in large quantities ***


Goldenrod, Solidago: Leaves, Flowers:

There are many different varieties of goldenrods, all of which have very similar medicinal uses. Topically the plant has traditionally been used in salves to help with sore muscles and arthritis. Internally it has traditionally been used as a diuretic to help bladder and kidney issues and to help break up “stones”. It is also a good diaphoretic that can help reduce a fever, and an astringent that can aid in remedying diarrhea. The flowers also make a wonderful yellow dye.

*** Cautions: Asteraceae family, may cause skin irritation ***


Horsemint, Monarda bradburiana: Leaves, flowers:

Infusion used for colds, chills, as a febrifuge, and for bowel complaints. Can be used externally in oils and salves for dermatological needs. Used in many of the same ways as Monarda fistulosa.


Jewelweed, Impatiens capensis: Leaves, stems, flowers:

Sap produced by the leaves and stems used for poison ivy, rashes, burns, and other dermatological needs. Cold infusion of leaves as a febrifuge. Infusion whole plant taken internally for stomach cramps.

*** Cautions: Seeds toxic ***


+Mullein, Verbascum thapsus: Leaves, flowers, root:

Leaves and flowers can be used to clear chest congestion (smoked or as an infusion), as an analgesic for rashes, aches and pains. Leaves can be wilted and used in poultices for swollen glands. Roots can be used in decoctions for gynecological issues.


+Plantain, Plantago major “Broadleaf Plantain” or Plantago lanceolata “Ribwort Plantain”: Leaves, roots, flowers:

Leaves used in poultices for bug bites, inflammations, rashes, cuts, bruises, stings, and other skin complaints. Whole plant infusions for colds, fever, upper respiratory complaints, rheumatism, hypertension, regulating blood sugar, bladder problems, kidney problems. Root used as a gentle expectorant and in helping sinus issues. “Snake Weed” because of the belief that the plant can help draw venom out of a snakebite. It was also thought that a person could carry the plant to help ward off snakes.


Self-Heal, All Heal, Prunella vulgaris: Leaves, flowers:

Infusion is an analgesic used to wash sores, wounds, and used in salves for many dermatological needs. Used to flavor other medicines. Infusion used as a febrifuge and against colds. Used for sore throats. Mild sedative. Helps with stomach and bowel complaints. Antidiarrheal. Respiratory aid.


Spicebush, Lindera benzoin: Leaves, Bark:

The red berries of the spicebush have long been used as a substitute for cinnamon or allspice in mountain recipes. The leaves can be made into a pleasant infusion for colds and headaches while the bark can be brewed strong for fevers and chills. The leaves can also be used topically for skin irritations, rashes, and bites. 


Sumac, Rhus glabra “Smooth Sumac” or Rhus typhina “Staghorn Sumac”: Berries, Leaves, Bark:

The berries are used in a tasty beverage I’ve heard called “sumacade”. It’s lemony taste is quite pleasant, and the drink is high in vitamin C. The berries and bark are astringent and can be used as an effective gargle for a cough or mouth sores. A decoction of the bark can also be taken internally for diarrhea. In the Fall the red leaves can be dried and smoked to induce dreaming.


Sweet Everlasting, Rabbit Tobacco, Pseudognaphalium obtusifolium/Gnaphalium obtusifolium: Leaves, flowers:

Decoction whole plant used as a sedative and to aid sleeping. Analgesic for sores, pains, aches, wounds, and many other dermatological needs. Antirheumatic (internal). Decoction for colds and chills. Smoked and used in infusions to clear chest congestion. Chewed for sore mouth and throat. Used in sweat baths against many illnesses. NOTE harvest leaves in the Fall when they start to turn brown.

*** Cautions: Asteraceae family ***


Sweetgum tree, Liquidambar styraciflua: Leaves, bark, gum, balls:

Leaves can be used in poultices for several dermatological issues, cuts, and bruises. Gum and inner bark used for diarrhea and flux. Infusion of bark taken for “flooding” (gynecological). Infusion of bark given as a sedative. Sweetgum balls, when green in the Spring before seeds have formed can be soaked in alcohol then given for colds and the flu (antiviral, antibacterial due to contained shikimic acid).


White-Leafed Mountain Mint, Pycnanthemum albescens: Leaves, Flowers, Stems:

As an infusion, can be used to help treat headaches, stomach complaints, and colds. Brewed strong it can help to reduce fevers.


Wild Bergamot, Beebalm, Monarda fistulosa: Leaves, flowers:

Infusion used for coughs, colds, and sore throats. Carminative for stomach complaints. Diaphoretic, febrifuge, and diuretic. Mild sedative. Abortifacient, so caution should be taken. Externally an analgesic used in poultices for pains, aches, cuts, and rashes.


Witch Hazel, Hamamelis vernalis (Ozark Witch Hazel) and American Witch Hazel, Hamamelis virginiana: Leaves, bark:

Leaves and bark astringent used externally as a skin toner and for many dermatological issues. Infusion taken for colds and as a febrifuge. Antirheumatic. Decoction of bark taken as an emetic.

*** Cautions: Bark emetic***


+Yarrow, Achillea millefolium: Flowers, leaves:

Leaves astringent, used in bowel complaints and with dermatological needs. Foliage infusion used for colds, as a febrifuge, upset stomach, and as a mild sedative. Leaves can be smoked to loosen phlegm and clear chest congestion.

*** Cautions: Asteraceae family ***

Cute and Interesting

Request: Can you write a Peter Parker x chubby reader where the reader is Sam’s niece and they meet at an Avengers party and they both like each other but don’t say anything and then over text a month later Peter confesses and the reader is surprised and just fluff please 💓            

“Why am I coming along?” you asked as you got in the car.

“Because you’re mom asked me to keep an eye on you,” he sighed as he sat down. You frowned, so you may have gotten into a bit of trouble with your mother, but some passions couldn’t wait for legislation, and to be honest you considered yourself more of a cyber vigilante than a troubled youth.

“Listen, you can’t say those guys didn’t have it coming. How can I sit back and let them get away with hurting that girl when I knew how to find the evidence?”

“I’m not saying it was wrong, in fact I agree with you, but what if those boys wanted revenge huh?”

“Well I’d tell them good luck  finding the person who hacked into their messages,” you grumbled.

“Anyway,” Sam rolled his eyes, looking over at his niece where she sat pouting, “This isn’t a punishment. It’s a party.”

“Yeah, with all of your old Avengers friends,” you sighed.

“Not all of them are old-”

“Uncle Sam, you’re old. It’s okay.”

“First of all, rude, and secondly I wasn’t gonna say that. There’s a newbie around your age. I got a feeling you two might get along. You both like to get on my nerves,” he turned on the car and put it in drive before looking back over at you. You were still pouting, he thought mentioning the Avengers and a possible new friend would have been enough to make you drop the sour expression. The opposite was true, you would rather it was just the Avengers, because that would meant you’d probably get a few words out of Steve who was like a second uncle to you, and keep Bucky occupied so people didn’t feel the need to bother him, but other than that you could watch Tony Stark get drunk while you sat quietly in the corner of the room. If there was somebody your age then they’d try to talk to you, or even worse they wouldn’t, and you wouldn’t be able to attribute it to the fact that you were just too young to warrant their attention it would simply be because they had zero interest in you. You huffed at the thought and reached for the aux cord. Sam let you choose the music as he started driving towards the tower.

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BTS REACTS TO: Catching them using your beauty products.

Anon Asked: bts reacts to s/o catching them using their skin care/beauty products? please and thank you~

I’ve been speeding through requests man, I’m having an identity crisis. Am I Sonic the Hedgehog???? - Admin Dayna


Seokjin

Jin didn’t smell like himself lately. You’d catch a whiff of him as he’d walk past you after taking a shower, and noticed he didn’t smell like his usual body wash. The scent wasn’t foreign either. It was familiar, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. One night you had walked into the bathroom as Jin was showering to pee. He hadn’t closed the shower curtains all the way, so you could see the collection of shampoo, conditioners, and body washes on the shower rack. You caught a Jin grabbing your bar of Black African Soap and it finally clicked - he had been using your soap to wash himself! 

“Wait - Jin are you washing with my African Soap?”

“Yeah! My skin feel so soft afterwards Jag-”

“Jin-ah! I use that on my face!”

*5 seconds of silence before he starts laughing*

Originally posted by gravitaetion

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Preference #26-He Forgets Your Anniversary (Harry)

A/N: There are pictures after the fic to show what the cake looks like, in case you aren’t sure what any of the things mentioned are.

You awoke before Harry, and quickly got out bed, getting dressed as silently as you could. You went downstairs and placed the vase full of flowers that you’d gotten him in the middle of the table. You went over to the stove, and began to make Harry’s favorite breakfast. When you were halfway done with cooking, you heard Harry’s footsteps on the stairs.

“Good morning, love,” Harry sleepily said, putting his arms around your waist. “Something smells good.”

“Good morning, Harry,” You laughed, turning and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I made breakfast for you.”

“And who are the flowers for?” Harry inquired.

“You, of course,” You replied, moving what you were cooking to a plate. You placed it at the table, and put silverware next to it, before getting started on making what you wanted to eat.

“I’m going to go out with the lads this morning,” Harry said, taking a sip of his water. “Want to tag along?”

“You’re….you’re going to see Niall, Liam and Louis?” You inquired. Harry nodded, and you bit your lower lip. “I think I’ll stay here. I have a lot to get done.”

“Okay, love,” Harry said, continuing to eat. A few minutes later he stood, and placed his dishes in the sink. He came over to your side of the table, and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Thank you for breakfast, (Y/N). It was delicious.”

“You’re welcome,” You replied, as Harry left to get dressed. You sighed, wondering if he had remembered that today was your anniversary.

“I’m heading out now, (Y/N). Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Harry asked, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

“I’m sure, Harry. I’ll see you later,” You replied. Harry looked at you for a moment, his brow furrowed, before coming over to you.

“Are you okay, love?” He asked, putting his arms around you.

“I’m okay,” You murmured, leaning your head against his shoulder. He held you close, pressing his lips gently to your forehead.

“You better get going. Don’t want to keep the lads waiting,” You murmured, stepping away from him.

“I love you, (Y/N),” Harry said, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

“I love you, Harry,” You quietly said. He turned and left, and you started to wash the dishes from breakfast. When you were done, you began to cook Harry’s favorite meal for dinner, and getting out the ingredients to bake a cake. Hours passed, and dinner was done. You put it in the refrigerator, before moving on to the cake. You put four tiers in the oven to bake, and then started to make the frosting. You took the cake out of the oven and left it cool, going upstairs to sit for a moment. You picked up your phone, and began to scroll through Twitter, wanting to see what your friends were up to. After a while, you went back downstairs and began to frost the cake. You put a circle of fruit on the top, and then wrote in the center, ‘Happy Anniversary’. You piped on Lilies of the Valley, and drop strings along the side of the cake. You stepped back from it, smiling at the way it had come together. Taking out your phone, you took a few photographs, before carefully placing the cake in the fridge. Afterwards, you looked at the clock, and saw that it was later than you’d thought. You hurried to get a tablecloth from the closet, placing it on the table and smoothing it out. You set out the good dishes that you’d bought, along with the crystal glasses. Taking out a bottle of Harry’s favorite wine and a bottle of sparkling apple cider, you had placed them on the table. You then got out the candlesticks and candles, and placed them on the table. Stepping back, you looked at the table, and hoped that Harry would like it. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you dialled Harry’s number while walking upstairs to get changed.

“(Y/N)?” Harry said, when he picked up.

“Hey,” You said, picking up the outfit you’d chosen to wear tonight. “I was just wondering when you’d be home.”

“In about an hour, love,” Harry replied. There was the sound of cheering, and you wondered what was happening.

“Okay. See you then,” You said. “Love you.”

“Love you too, (Y/N),” Harry said, before hanging up. You showered quickly and got changed, wanting to have enough time for dinner to be ready. You went downstairs and put it in the oven to warm up, and then placed in on the plates. You took a seat at the table, waiting for Harry to come home. You noted that passing of the time, and started to worry that something had happened. You called him again, and he answered, but you couldn’t hear him over the music in the background. After another hour, you gave up, and put the food away. You went upstairs and changed out of your outfit, before getting into bed. Pulling the covers over you, you buried your face in the pillow and began to cry. You fell asleep that way, waking only when you felt the bed next to you settle. You turned your back towards Harry, not wanting to see him.

“Love?” He quietly said. You ignored him, falling back asleep. You awoke the next morning to an empty bed, and slowly got up. You went downstairs, to find Harry at the stove, cooking.

“Harry?” You quietly said.

“Love,” Harry murmured, putting down his spatula and coming over to you. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him. “I’m so sorry. I came home last night and saw all that you’d done, and I’m so sorry, love.”

“You forgot our anniversary, Harry,” You murmured.

“I know. I messed up, love. I know it won’t make up for me forgetting, but I made your favorite  breakfast and I have something planned for today,” Harry replied.

“Okay.” You replied. Harry pulled out a chair for you, and then placed your breakfast in front of  you. You ate, and then went and got dressed. Harry took you to all your favorite places that day, and then the two of you went home.

“What do you say we get in our pajamas, put on a movie and eat some of that dinner that you made us?” Harry inquired.

“Okay,” You replied. The two of you changed, and Harry brought in plates of the dinner you’d made.

“How about you pick a movie, love?” Harry asked. You nodded, settling on one of your favorite movies. Harry smiled, and then the two of you began to eat. Halfway through the movie, Harry set his plate down, and turned towards you.

“Can we talk about something, love?” He inquired.

“Alright,” You murmured, wondering what was going on.

“It’s been two years since we started dating, and I want you to know that those have been the best two years of my life. You’ve supported me, been there for me, and I am so happy being with you. I love you, (Y/N). Will you marry me?” Harry asked, getting down on one knee.

“Yes,” You whispered, covering your mouth with a shaking hand. “I’ll marry you, Harry. I love you.” Harry slipped the ring on your finger, and then sat next to you on the couch. He gently pressed his lips against yours, before cuddling next to you. You leaned your head against his shoulder, glad that your anniversary hadn’t turned out the way you thought it would.

Written by Angel xx


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Overwatch AU: Partner in Crime

Well, once again a one shot AU received a lot of attention and demand for more so here we are! Part 2 of “To Catch a Thief” @reypadawanjedi‘s Thief AU!

Part 1

Read on AO3

Commissioned by @moonwatcher13


SSSSHHHHHCKKKK This is SquSHHHCKKKKKK-In pursuit of-SHKKKKKSHHHHH All units converge onSHHHHHHH-

Lena bought a police radio, which wasn’t as hard to get a hold of as she originally thought.

“What do you think?” she casually asked over her shoulder as she tweaked the knobs, searching for a channel to listen into while holding the old headphones that were probably used on a much larger head as she needed to keep a good grip on it to keep it from falling right off her ear.

Amelie had just silently slipped in through the window, gently closing it shut behind her. She was just about to admire the brand new window as it closed without a single squeak or struggle, (Not that this had stopped her before but that gesture was nice) but upon entering the dark apartment save for the small light by the kitchen counter, there was Lena, sitting with complete concentration on the bar stool with a radio on the table.

She couldn’t believe it.

It had only been a few days since they made official arrangements to be partners and Lena was all in.

She continued to work as a deadbeat waitress despite now receiving a cut of Amelie’s “profits” which was more than what she made in a month. She put it in her savings account in bits at a time to not raise any suspicion and made purchases in cash.

She stocked her fridge with drinks and snacks of Amelie’s choosing, leaving them out on the new table, in front of the new couch with new blankets and pillows. All of it would be at the ready when she returned from a successful haul, she could kick off her shoes and relax while the police scrambled to search the city for her. The situation couldn’t have landed in a more perfect place for her.

“Why does it feel like you’ve done this before cherie?” she laughed, playfully plucking the unfinished bottle of hard cider that sat beside the radio, taking a quick swig.

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Truth

pairing: daveed diggs x reader

request:  Can you write a FIC where Daveed has feelings for his best friend (reader) n she finds out while playing truth or dare n then she gets mad that Daveed never told n then they end up having hot passionate angry sex ?

summary: reader and daveed and rafa have been friends since college. they’re at a party. this is what happens.

warnings: lots of swearing, lots of alcohol, lots of sex. like, kind of kinky sex. a little bit of choking. if you’re not into that probably don’t read this.

word count: 3,989

a/n: i really wanted to post this before i had to leave my house tonight so there may be errors as i didn’t have time to read it over. this request revived my soul, thank you @mynanimmous for sending it in. AS always, my inbox is open for comments or questions or requests!


“We are not having the party at my place again,” Rafa groans. “There’s no way. I just got the stains out of my carpet from the fourth of July party where someone,” he pauses to glare at Daveed, “dropped an entire tray of cherry and blue raspberry jello shots.”

“Dude, I’ve told you a million times I’m sorry.” Daveed groans.

“Sorry doesn’t get me back my security deposit!”

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Give Us a Little Love (We Never Had Enough) Chapter 1

Summary: Where do we belong, where did we go wrong? If there’s nothing here, why are we still here?

AKA, everyone is a witch and absolutely nothing could go wrong

Words: 4538 

A/N: the long awaited witch! au is here! i hope you enjoy and look forward to the rest of this wild ride!
(brownie points to anybody who knows what seven’s….chant, is a reference to lol)fic title from Give Us a Little Love by Fallulah
chapter title from O’ Death by Amy Van Roekel
you can read it on ao3 here!

Chapter 1: When God is Gone and the Devil Takes Hold

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Yellow

A/N: A whole lot of fluff for our fluffy leader Namjoon’s birthday. Also, this was a request for an anon so I hope you like it!

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: FLUFF

Word Count: 2.7k

(i couldn’t not use this gif)

Originally posted by jiguk

“Remind me why I am coming to one of your philosophy parties again?” you asked your roommate as you slipped your dress over your head.

Hani had just finished getting dressed. She put her hands on her hips and sighed, “Because, I don’t like anyone in my major. And you haven’t left your studio in like 2 weeks. I think the paint fumes are getting to your brain”

“That’s not true. I’m not at the studio now” Hani shot you an unamused joke. “Any time I go with you I spend most of the time in the bathroom playing Mystic Messenger because I have no clue what the hell any of you are talking about”

Hani sighed, “If it’s really that bad then I’ll buy you pancakes or something, okay?”

You took in your reflection one last time. You weren’t trying to impress anyone, “Buy me chocolate chip pancakes and then we have a deal”

She rolled her eyes, “You’re such a child”

You threw on your coat, “And soon I’ll be a child with pancakes”

The two of you stood in front of the apartment door. You tensed, desperately wanting to make a run for it Hani instinctively grabbed you by the elbow, “Don’t even think about it”

You groaned, “There better be something other than red wine at this thing”

Your roommate rolled her eyes, “I can’t make any promises” she said as she knocked on the front door.

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Another small batch of homemade gin.

Last time I went heavy on allspice. That version tasted especially good in a gin & tonic.

I looked online for some ideas. This time I used cinnamon sticks with the required juniper berries and other botanicals. This bottle is only 375 ml. If the infusion is awful and I throw it out I can still buy lunch. Or afford dog treats. I tell ya, someone in this house buys a LOT of dog treats. Hint: not Bob.

The cost of cinnamon sticks surprised me. In October I bought some to have with hot apple cider. There were inexpensive bags of them next to the gallons bottles of cider. Purchase cinnamon sticks in April and it’s another story. I guess anything sold in a little glass jar commands a premium price. Holy cow though, the calendar says April 30 but outside it feels like October 30. Shouldn’t that count for something in the price of cinnamon?

Tonight I’m drinking my gin as a martini – shaken with ice but nothing else – as we binge watch Catastrophe. I didn’t add vermouth because I wanted to taste only the gin. Some other time I’ll try it as a G & T.

The taste is interesting. I like it but I’m wondering if a professional mixologist would say “Ewwww” or “Congratulations!” My palate may not be so sophisticated.

When I searched online there were plenty of other ideas for botanicals. Whatever I try next will be different.

Assist Me Part 9 (Epilogue)

Summary: With little to no experience and no approval, you are secretly trained to be an Avenger

Word Count:2054

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: none

A/N: Last part! Thank you for reading this series!

Part 1 Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Originally posted by veronikaphoenix

Originally posted by spockvarietyhour

Aladdin was Bucky’s favorite movie. The colors, the plot, the characters – he loved it all. And deep down, he even though wouldn’t admit it, Aladdin reminded him a lot of himself, because he too had lied to impress a girl he liked. But you loved the movie as well, and after several movie nights with you in which he insisted on seeing the movie, he could easily quote some of the scenes and sing some of the songs.

For security reasons, most of your dates with Bucky were spent in the tower, and if not, at your place. Most of your dates were movie nights, and Tony would occasionally help you two illegally watch a movie that was out in the theaters at the time. While movie nights were fun, you despised being constrained to only spending time together indoors. Your adventurous nature made you desire to go places, not solely talk and watch movies in a room.

Today though, Bucky had other plans. When you arrived at the tower, F.R.I.D.A.Y. alerted Bucky you were there. He checked himself in the mirror, sprayed himself with cologne he stole from Sam, and rushed out of his room. Tonight’s date night wasn’t going to be a movie night or game night, he had something bigger and better in mind, and he prayed it would all go well.

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