According to secret CIA assessment, Russia interfered with the election for Trump

According to the Washington Post, a secret CIA assessment found Russia made efforts to sway the the 2016 presidential election in Donald Trump’s favor. In a “closed-door briefing” detailed by the Post, agency officials told senators Russia aimed to put Trump in the White House. Here’s what the agency found.


  • Feels comfortable mouthing off to a heavily-armed employer in his very first scene
  • Seems to have better cardio than Bart
  • Seems to have better music taste than Bart
  • Asks a strange biker to call him a cab
  • Drives a motorbike literally one episode later
  • Seems to have a shady criminal past
  • “I knew I’d die in some weird way eventually”
  • Attempts to fight Farah despite having no combat experience at all
  • Hits Bart up for money for lunch
  • Can see Bart in her underwear and doesn’t make it weird
  • Sits protectively outside Bart’s shower and doesn’t make it weird
  • Will sing Backstreeet Boys on command
  • Figures out that “the universe is broken” because, for the first time, Bart misread what the universe was telling her regarding Dirk Gently
  • He and Bart are wearing matching colours in the last episode
  • Shrugs at Todd in quiet Normal Dude™ understanding
  • Played by actual cinnamon roll Mpho Koaho
  • He and Bart stole a corgi from the body-swapping cultists
  • Fixes the time machine/soul swapper/unlimited energy device that closes the time loop once and for all
  • It takes him literally less than a week to go from she’s going to kill me and I’m petrified to she’s going to kill everyone else and I’m fully supportive of her life choices
Pompeo confirmed as CIA chief
The Senate confirmed Mike Pompeo, President Donald Trump's pick for CIA director, on Monday night.
By Ashley Killough and Ted Barrett, CNN

Just a couple of notes about Rep. Mike Pompeo (R-KS) you can easily find from browsing the web:

He served on a couple of Benghazi committees and says Hillary intentionally lied to America because Obama was up for reelection.

He says Muslim leaders who don’t speak out against Muslim terrorists on behalf of their entire religion are complicit in those terrorist attacks. No comment, however, on the three angry white dudes with a plot to blow up an apartment building in his homestate that was housing Muslim refugees.

He’s also pro-life, anti-Obamacare, pro-NRA, and supported shutting down the government when the GOP didn’t get its way. Basically, he’s your average asshole from the Republican party catching a sweet promotion from President Velveeta.

One positive note: He believes the intelligence on Russia’s hacking activity during our election. I mean, he’s not going to do anything about it but ya know. There’s that.