church of jesus christ of the latter day saints


* blogs dedicated to Mormon/LDS girls DO NOT reblog this post*


Today has been great! I went through the temple for the second time. This time though I went through in behalf of my nana who died a month before I met the missionaries. I went to do endowments alone as my ward stayed in the baptistery, I may have been alone physical but spiritually I knew my nana was there present with me. I knew despite today only being my second time the Lord sustained my nerves enough to have a beautiful experience full of the Spirit and heavy emotions.

I was able to buy some scriptures today for my mission, and the YSA of my ward gifted me with a mission bracelet. How kind of them.



The story behind the dishes picture dated March 1975.

“The Year was 1974. I was an elementary school teacher who had temporarily left my teaching career to return to the University of Utah to earn a Master of Education Degree. I began attending church in a “student branch” (a congregation of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, comprised of unmarried college students.)  It was there that I met four young men who shared an apartment not far from my home : Wynn Bartholomew, John Homer, Larry Anderson, and Barry Kraus. Wynn was attending law school at the University of Utah. The apartment where these four men lived was quite large, and became the “social center” or “gathering place” for many of the members of our branch : We went there often for parties.

John Homer and Larry Anderson were “stake missionaries” at the time. One day Wynn told John and Larry about a student at the Law School who was possibly a potential convert and who might be interested in having religious discussions with them; his name was Ted Bundy. John and Larry began giving religious lessons to Ted at their apartment. They invited Ted to come to church and meet the rest of the congregation;  Ted was always invited to the apartment for social gatherings as well.

Eventually Ted committed to being baptized. Many members of the student branch attended the baptism to show their support. Our branch president, Michael Preece, interviewed Ted prior to baptism… John Homer performed the baptism and his missionary companion, Larry Anderson, pronounced the confirmation. Little did anyone know what dark secrets Ted was hiding!

The ratio of women to men in our student branch was about 4 to 1, so new men coming to our branch were always of interest, and Ted was no exception. He was polite, courteous, intelligent, and attractive. Many of the young women wanted to date Ted; he became quite popular in our group. Ted attended some of our social gatherings, and afterwards, Wynn remembered that to him, Ted seemed quiet and mysterious; at social gatherings he would sit in the background and just watch people silently.

In March 1975, I organized a birthday party for one of our branch members, Sam Green; the party was held at Wynn’s apartment. I was busy washing dishes when Ted walked over and stood beside me. “You look like you could use some help” he offered. I was flattered that he would notice me, and hoped that perhaps he would ask me out on a date. My camera was sitting nearby, and I handed it to Wynn and asked, “Wynn, take my picture with Ted!” Ted pointed a rinsing gun at me as we posed together. It was one of the few pictures taken of Ted outside a courtroom or jail.” - Carol Hall Bartholomew

to monday

an ex-mormon soundtrack

battle cry (ft. sia) - angel haze

can’t fight against the youth - panic! at the disco

devil - tyler glenn

doubt - twenty one pilots

first vision - tyler glenn

heaven - troye sivan

holy - PVRIS

hurricane - misterwives

kick me - sleeping with sirens

the love club - lorde

midnight - tyler glenn

playing god - paramore

trash - tyler glenn

message me if you have any more to add!


Cultivate an attitude of happiness. Cultivate a spirit of optimism. Walk with faith, rejoicing in the beauties of nature, in the goodness of those you love, in the testimony which you carry in your heart concerning things divine.
—  Gordon B. Hinckley
One in Christ

Catholic, Lutheran, Anglican, Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, Episcopal, Mormon, Jehovah’s Witness, Evangelical, Protestant, etc.

We are all one in Christ.

Galatians 3:27-29 “27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free,nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.29 If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”

We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
—  Joseph Smith, 11th Article of Faith, Pearl of Great Price

what i say: im fine

what i mean: i’m happy that in the closing number of The Book Of Mormon they reference the fact that Connor McKinley overcame his internalized homophobia however I think it would’ve added a lot to the story and McKinley’s character if there was some sort of Turn It Off reprise in which we could see him going through this emotional change. It is literally established that this man has vivid, traumatic nightmares regarding his sexuality every night. It would’ve added a lot to the production to witness him change his worldview as he begins to doubt the existence of god and the legitimacy of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. And lets talk about Kevin. Did Kevin’s arrival at the mission center influence Connor’s worldview? I mean obviously the nonsense that Kevin, Arnold, and Nabalungi started prompted Connor to question the legitimacy of what he’d been told his entire life. But he also tried to kiss Kevin after the general shot that guy. Like he just tried to kiss Kevin and it’s never acknowledged again. How big of a role did Kevin play in Connor’s emotional development? Why don’t we get to see it happen? Connor was in serious denial about his sexuality since 5th grade, is he okay? 

I worry that the loudest voices in the church about LGBTQA+ experiences are white gay men.
I also dislike the phrase “s*me-g*nder attraction” instead of LGBTQA+ because it excludes me and people like me from the discussion completely. When I go looking for LGBTQA+ resources in the church, that’s all I find, and asexuality and aromanticism might as well not even exist to anyone but me. It’s a rly sad, hard feeling. I don’t experience s*me g*nder attraction, but I also don’t experience opposite gender attraction. I’m not straight. I belong in the LGBTQA+ community. I have questions. I want resources and representation and I want to have something to show my parents when I explain who I am.

God’s Ways

This post has been some months in the offing. I’ve been wrestling with how to address such a personal encounter. Nevertheless, I will try because I think this story illuminates a very important point. 

I left the church and my parent’s home at 18. I refused to go on a mission, my parents refused to pay for college, and I was beyond done with their whole way of life. During the last year I lived with them we fought almost daily. My mom and I didn’t speak to each other for nearly two years leading up to my leaving. Things were very tense. They mounted a vigorous campaign to get me to stay, go on a mission, go to BYU - the usual TBM bullshit. I took myself out of the equation. 

While the fighting was intense we never directly addressed “the church” or “religion” or “faith.” My parents just sort of assumed I still believed and I let them go on assuming it because it was easier. I was dealing with enough self-doubt and internal change and I didn’t want to manage their reactions to such a revelation. Sure, it was a cop-out and I still feel a little shame to this day of not telling them straight out that I didn’t believe the church was true and that I didn’t believe in god. That remained unsaid. 

Jump forward nine years - now, or to be precise, January 20th, 2017. That’s right: Trump’s inauguration day. My parents just happened to be in town to attend the funeral of a family friend (Not just any friend. This guy was the second counselor to my dad when he served as Stake President. A complete asshole who appeared to be the kindest, sweetest person, but every so often the veneer would crack and you could catch a glimpse of the snake underneath). My parents called me and asked if we could go to dinner. I said yes, as things had been going fairly well between us for some time - cool but cordial. 

I made the mistake of watching the inauguration right before I left for dinner. I knew I shouldn’t have. In the car, I kept telling myself over and over again: don’t bring it up. Be nice and polite and just get through this. So much for that. 

Things were going nicely until… yep, I brought up Trump. I couldn’t help myself. I was terrified. I was having hours of conversations with friends who were terrified  - about deportation, about discrimination, about the rise and tacit approval of the alt right. I was pretty keyed up. So I told my mom and dad just that: that I was really worried about the future of our country. 

My mom and dad shifted in their seats. My dad explained that while they hadn’t voted for Trump, and didn’t like him personally, he was the president now and our responsibility was to follow him. I pressed the issue, saying that our loyalty as citizens is to fight injustice, not to accept it should it gain power. Then my dad looked me right in the eye and told me that it was “god’s will” that Trump is president. 

I hit the fucking roof. You’re telling me that god wants his children to be terrified of their leaders? You’re telling me that god wants hate and fear to rule his “chosen nation?” My dad shrugged and said, maybe it’s his way of hastening the second coming. 

At that point it all came out. I told them their religion was bullshit, a lie. I told them I was a proud atheist. I told them I look on it as a duty to seek truth and decry those who promulgate lies, like the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints. Needless to say, dinner didn’t end well. 

I cannot abide the self-righteous, hypocritical stances of the church and its followers. This is not philosophy we’re playing with here, this is people’s lives. Real lives. Not some test simulation before the real work of the afterlife begins. 

It’s been months and the thought of this conversation makes me physically sick to my stomach. Something’s broken between my parent’s and me. For good. And it is good. Because it’s based on truth. Honesty. I don’t want people in my life who care more about their belief-cloaked privilege than other people. I’m done with it.  

Can I jut rant to my fellow mormons for a minute?

When you give a lesson in any class, please please please NEVER start it with “I’m super unprepared, but hopefully we can get through this together” or any variation of it. Do not tell them how short a time you had to prepare. Do not tell them “I hope you get something out of this” and especially don’t say “Even if no one gets something out of this, I learned a lot so it’s all good.”

NO. The surest way to make sure people tune out completely is to disqualify yourself as a teacher before you even start the lesson. You didn’t prepare? Great, then I probably won’t listen too closely. You want us to get something out of the lesson? Then don’t tell us it doesn’t matter if we do or don’t because you’re a better person. “We’ll get through it together” is such a bad way to phrase a lesson. It makes it sound like an unpleasant thing to be endured (which maybe it is for you, but your class doesn’t know that or need to know that).

This is seriously my biggest pet peeve with teachers. I love teaching the gospel, I have had many teaching callings, and I have made it my goal that no matter how prepared I am, I do my best to bring the spirit and hopefully make sure my class doesn’t know the difference.

Don’t let a lack of confidence keep you from giving wonderful lessons. Don’t tell your class that you are not confident in your message (which is what all of those statements really are).

Be upbeat and positive and I promise your class will follow suit.

Just because

Just because your parents believe it DOESN’T MEAN IT’S TRUE. 

Just because your friends believe it DOESN’T MEAN IT’S TRUE. 

Just because millions of people believe it DOESN’T MEAN IT’S TRUE. 

Just because it has god’s name on the cover DOESN’T MEAN IT’S TRUE. 

Just because Joseph Smith said it DOESN’T MEAN IT’S TRUE. 

Just because the prophet says it DOESN’T MEAN IT’S TRUE. 

General Conference

Hey guys! Tomorrow and Sunday from 10-12 a.m and 2-4 p.m (mst) the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) are having our biannual church broadcast! Our church leaders will be giving talks on faith, prayer, the love of Jesus Christ, and many other topics. It’s a really amazing experience that you can find on many websites and channels. I’m not saying this to force anyone to watch it. But if you do decide to, it can be a really great spiritual experience!

More information is available at or