chunky babies

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When ur chunky asf but it’s okay bc you still manage to squeeze into your house😅

***If you like, consider reblogging***

The chunky baby has arrived! And I finally came up with a name. Pyrune is a big lovable mandrake and all he wants is hugs, headbutts, and hamburgers.

the signs as syzygy
  • aries: chunky baby ryan reynolds
  • taurus: "i doubt she's even a blonde."
  • gemini: the movie on every tv channel
  • cancer: orange juice concentrate + vodka
  • leo: a cosmic g-spot
  • virgo: garage spring to the gut
  • libra: "shut up, mulder."
  • scorpio: scully smoking
  • sagittarius: the horned beast
  • capricorn: "sure. fine. whatever."
  • aquarius: the guy, the big macho man
  • pisces: "hate him! wouldn't want to date him!"
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Bounded pair of chunky babies!!! “Bert was attacked when he was a baby puppy and has been blind in one eye ever since. You would never know he was blind, he gets around just fine and the vet says he has adapted beautifully with one eye. Bert is a lover. Just sweet as can be. Ernie loves to play fetch. He is a sweet pie.“

Fat Sugar Babies

Just started my tumblr but I’ve been in the bowl for a few years and I am FAT (or plus sized if you prefer that)! I get paid usually $1000 for first time dates, get lots of attention on SA and am loving sugar life! Here’s all my tips for you chunky lil babies:

1. GET LACE BOY SHORT UNDERWEAR
This is gonna make your butt look x100 better then in a thong or regular lace panties because it lifts the booty up a little and hides lumps while still looking sexy af! My favourite are the lace boy shorts from Victoria Secret! Oh and always match your bra and undies (no matter what) but you don’t need to buy your bra from Victoria Secret (they don’t have big girl sizes) to match the lace boy shorts!

2. MEN LIKE THICK WOMEN
Getting paid less for having more? FUCK no! You are a fat, curvy, plus sized, piece of fucking art! Don’t let SDs pay you any less then your beautiful fat ass deserves! And as soon as a SD mentions your body negatively and says it will impact your allowance DROP HIM! (Except if he has been with you long term and you are gaining weight rapidly then get him to buy you a gym membership or anything for a diet if that’s what you want but it’s your choice!!)

3. DRINK LOTS OF GREEN OR DANDELION TEA
This will help reduce water retention and speed up metabolism! It might help you loose weight but I use it to keep my nice round tummy looking it’s best and not bloated or swollen!

4. USE A BODY POWDER
Thick girls sweat more…just a curse for being so hot :( To keep cool and from chaffing by a good quality body powder like Lush’s Silk Underwear! It smells amazing and will stop chaffing in the places that are extra fluffy!

5. INVEST IN YOUR WARDROBE
It’s hard to find cheap clothes that look good on a fuller figure. Invest in good quality, expensive looking outfits and you’ll instantly be x10 more attentive to SDs! This goes for all sizes of sugar babies but slim sugar babies can wear a Forever 21 tight black dress and have the material hold up better. Bigger women need better quality fabrics so they don’t stretch, look shiny and appear cheap. Also but yourself a nice purse (with SD money of course) that goes with all your outfits (black or dark brown) to look classy af.

6. SELF CARE IS KEY
Wash your face with Lush cleanser, tone with with hazel and aloe, apply vitamin C serum, apply eye cream, apply moisturizer, wear sunscreen, use self-tanner, exfoliate, get your nails done, get your feet done, condition your hair, get hair cuts often, invest in quality body products, get a silk house coat, make your hands and skin soft as hell!!!! A cared for baby is a sexy baby!!!

7. GET A WAIST TRAINER
Get that wait snatched girl! Thick is great but you want to have a smaller waist then the rest or your figure! Either wear to make your waist smaller over time or wear under dresses at POT dates! Get that coke bottle figure all men (and SDs) will go crazy for!

I’ll add more soon :)