chronically-something

Never judge someone with a chronic illness if they...

• choose to eat something that’s bad for them
• forget to take their meds
• take something for chronic pain
• never drink (some people can’t ever drink because they can’t mix their meds with alcohol or because they physically cannot tolerate it)
• decide to lay down and rest all day
• skip their treatment one day (meds/shots/IV treatments should sometimes be rescheduled of we catch a cold or we feel rly bad that day)
• drink
• complain a lot about their symptoms/illness
• ignore their symptoms

I could go on but you should NEVER judge someone with a chronic illness when they DECIDE to do something. Unless you know what they are dealing with and can offer a better alternative for them then shut up and keep your comments to yourself. It’s our body and we are the only person responsible for the consequences. It doesn’t mean that we should actively make decisions that hurt us, but you’ll never understand the life we lead and all the limitations that come along with it.

scenes from a bad brainfog week
  • me: *holds toothbrush under hand soap pump*
  • me:
  • me: something's wrong here
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: oh
  • * * * * * * * * *
  • me: I just need my....
  • me: um
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: .....kkkkeeeyyyys. yes.
  • me: *walks into another room*
  • me:
  • me: what was I looking for?
  • * * * * * * * * *
  • me: *misjudges somewhat narrow space*
  • me: *hip bounces off wall*
  • me: *body slams into another wall*
  • me: oh
  • me: *stubs toe on something*
Things not to say to a spoonie.

“It won’t kill you getting up early.” They don’t know what fatigue is like. But It actually feels like you’re dying.

You take as many naps as you need to get through the day.

“At least it’s not cancer.” They’ve have no idea what you’re going through, so please don’t act like you do.

Just ignore those idoits, who don’t even know what the word “chronic” means. Just think of things that make you happy.

“You don’t look sick.” What do you think “invisible illness” means? They’ve obviously never felt ill, because then they would know, it doesn’t always make you look different.

You’re beautiful, whether you think so or not.

“You’re not disabled, I don’t see a wheelchair.” Not all disabilities are visible.

Just because you’re disabled, it doesn’t mean you’re not a hero.

“I hope you feel better soon.” I know it sounds like they’re trying to be kind. But a “chronic illness” is something that will never go away. So they’re just making that person more depressed.

You have other people with chronic illnesses you can talk to. They understand.

“Why are you so lazy?” A disabled person has a limited ablity to do anything. You’re not aware of what they’re going through.

These people don’t understand how much effort you put in, day in, day out. You go at your own pace.


Feel free to add more.

myhodgepodgebrain  asked:

Any tips on how to balance out making a villain likable enough where readers enjoy reading about them but not so likable that the readers root for them instead? Essentially, do you have any advice on how to write villains that readers love to hate?

Hey there! 

I absolutely love villains and the very best villains are hard to come by. 
We have answered several questions about writing antagonists that you should check out (here), bu I will give some of the basic tips that I’ve learned over the years.

Types of Villains

There are different types of antagonists, and different reasons why we love them. 

  • There are the chaotic good antagonists, doing the right thing for the wrong reason (Magneto from X-Men). 
  • There’s the lovable villains who are just bad at being bad (Dr. Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb or Dr. Drakken from Kim Possible). 

  • There are the ones that you just absolutely hate and you just want to watch them burn (Joffrey from Game of Thrones is pretty accurate).

I would advise that you start by determining what kind you want. Of course, your antagonist doesn’t have to fit any mold, but this is a good place to start if you have no idea. 

Motivation

Once you figure this out, you can move onto the next thing that will define your villain. After all, why would they oppose your protagonist if they didn’t have a reason? Granted, even the reason of ‘because they want to’ is a great reason. I found a list of 39 villain motivations that you can take a look at, but I’ll throw a few out:

  • Revenge: (Hera from Greek Mythology, Gaston from Beauty and the Beast) They were scorned by somebody or something and will get them back.
  • Fear: (Voldemort from Harry Potter,  Ichirō Yashida in The Wolverine) A chronic fear of something (death is a popular one) leads them to do whatever it takes to avoid it.

  • Desire to better oneself: (Stephen from Maleficent, Aaron Burr from Hamilton) Starting out on the bottom and wanting to be at the top.

  • Desire: (Ashfur from Warriors, Frollo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame) If I can’t have him/her/them/it, nobody can.

  • Rule: (Loki from Thor, Scar from The Lion King) I was born to rule and nothing will stop me.
Crossing the line

Once you know what drives them, then you can figure out how they’ll validate their goal. What makes it more important than the risks and the cost of the goal? Why would Voldemort split his soul into multiple parts even though it would destroy who he was just to keep from dying? Is it a noble mission that they would sacrifice anything for? Is it something that a loved one died for and now they must complete it? Were they tormented as a child and want to make sure nobody goes through it again? Your hero has goals too, but they’re not likely to break every rule to achieve it. Crossing that line makes the villain different.

Only Human

The biggest thing, I’ve always seen, is to remember that your villain is a person (or robot, alien, magical underground monster flower, etc.) and they have good points and bad points. They can be charming, funny, compassionate (I know of several DC villains who fight Batman constantly but refuse to attack orphanages because they themselves were orphans), loving spouses and parents, good friends, etc. Going against society or the law doesn’t make them 100% evil. And few readers enjoy villains that are 100% evil. There’s no personality. 

Putting it all together

So to show an example of a good villain, I’ll give you mine.

One of my favorite villains of all time is Luke Castellan from the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series by Rick Riordan, and I’ll tell you why. He truly believed that what he was doing was right. He was like all the other demigods, ignored by his godly parent and not taken seriously. He got tired of seeing his fellow demigods killed for no reason, and decided to get rid of the old system. 

Then somebody with more power got a hold of him and gave him a way to do it. He knew that it was wrong and that he’d be breaking the rules, but he also knew that nothing else had worked. What’s a few lives lost if it saves countless others? Even when he fought against his friends he believed that he was saving them and that they would come around to his way of seeing things. 

And even when he lost he believed what he was doing was right. He believed it so strongly that the readers believed it. You spent the books wishing that he would realize his mistake and come back to his friends, because you loved the character, but not his choices. 

Please feel free to let us know if you have any other questions. Hope this helps!

–Dianne

Favorite Sweater

A/N: This is from the point of view from a reader with chronic migraines inspired by something posted earlier about not seeing many sick readers in the fluff department and because I just watched Kingsmen tonight. Hope this is something like you had in mind.

“Go on. Give it a go.” He bit his lip in anticipation. You eyed him and the dog before beginning to speak.

“JB, fetch my favorite sweater.” The dog leaped off the bed and scurried out to the living room. You could hear the scrap of his nails and tap or his paw pads tracking through the house. Then there was a pause followed by the noise returning. JB came to the edge of your side of the bed holding Eggsy grey sweater you loved to steal when you missed him or your headaches got the best of you. Accepting the sweater your lips pulled up in a tight smile. You didn’t like crying especially even if they were happy tears. “You taught him that just for me?” Your boyfriend was beaming at this point.

“That’s not all! He can also fetch your pills or a water bottle and he can bring the phone over or push the speed dial I installed should you ever need me.” There was no way you could hold back the tears any longer. “Oi, why are you crying? It ya head again?”

“No. No. Nothing of the sort. You just…” He gently wiped the tears as you marveled at him. “I love this sweater.” You both burst into chuckles.

“I know you do and you’ll always have it, aight?” He peered into your eyes earnestly and you nodded back at the bright blues. You pulled him down for a heated kiss that you didn’t break until you heard a small whine. “Oh bugger off JB.” He whined back making you laugh again. Patting the spot on the bed for him the small pug leaped back up to get comfy.

“Thank you.” You whispered cuddling into his chest.

“Anything for you, love.” He murmured into your hair as he rubbed your back until you fell asleep.

Tags: @thecupcakeconsumer, @courtneychicken, @barely-emily, @itsanerdlife

Signs in Lilith
  • Your Lilith Sign notes your deepest fears and your 'dark side' or the aspect most do not see of you.
  • Lilith in Taurus: Is often scared of scarcity, has a tendency to 'hoard'. Has a tendency to indulge with sex and food.
  • Lilith in Aries: These people fear unworthiness and will sometimes act out to assert themselves. They are quite prone to making scalding arguments to preserve themselves.
  • Lilith in Gemini: Gemini often feel deeply toward the feelings and opinions of others, and will often begin casting blame and negativity on others that depict the negative viewpoints on themselves. They often deal with their problems by thrusting themselves into social life.
  • Lilith in Virgo: Lilith in Virgo are astute perfectionists that fear messing up. They can be hypercritical in the works of others and will often feel that others are hindering their abilities, when it is usually their own criticism causing the sense of lack.
  • Lilith in Cancer: These people are innately clingy but will explain this away at every opportunity. They are deeply afraid to end up alone, but when they see a clingy nature in others, they are often quite deterred. They do not like to see that desire and codependency in others as it is a factor they detest in themselves.
  • Lilith in Leo: Leo Lilith is afraid to endure change, and often do not want to go through change unless they force it themselves. This is why they often come across as vain -- they will use verbal and mental control over a situation to attempt to solidify it, and will often do this with the opinions of others, vying for their agreement in issues. This often causes Lilith in Leo to come across as vain.
  • Lilith in Scorpio: Lilith in Scorpio fears loss and will put anything on the line to prevent it. They have 'savior syndrome' and are very often the individuals who try to rescue the 'chronic needy'. This is something Scorpio Lilith needs to work on, as they tax themselves mentally and hold others accountable instead of themselves for choosing to 'martyr.'
  • Lilith in Sagittarius: This astrological alignment makes for a tough time for the Lilith in Sagittarius person -- they are afraid of life being boring and will often try to be more risk-oriented. They are also individuals who fear being lied to and will often act in a disruptive way to get the truth, especially when intoxicated. They must develop the ability to endure the mundane and trust others.
  • Lilith in Capricorn: This sign has trouble being a leader and being a follower. When in leadership they can be abusive or irrational in the position, and when they are a follower, they have a deep-seated fear of not being acknowledged and not being respected.
  • Lilith in Aquarius: This sign fears powerlessness, having no power over their job and creative situation, and having to listen to others without the opportunity to make a rebuttal. This sign will need to become comfortable with the ebb and flow of creativity, must work on stubbornness, and being more understanding.
  • Lilith in Pisces: Lilith in Pisces believe everything comes at a price, and do not believe in random acts of kindness. They have a hard time trusting people who are trying to give to them out of kindness, as they often expect a negative reaction down the road. This sign needs to work on societal optimism.
  • Lilith in Libra: This sign is afraid of the gray area, and has a nature that lends to them seeing things one way or another, plain and simple. It is important for them to develop a connection with other people and to release their tendency to be extremely critical of strangers, lest they be lonely, which is their ultimate fear.
  • Lilith in Ophiuchus: Lilith in Ophiuchus are extremely afraid of being held accountable, being held under scrutiny, or being persecuted. For this reason, they often assign feelings to those who have not made any claims of their opinions yet. Many people are drawn to Lilith in Ophiuchus' knowledge and creativity, and it is hard for them to learn from this person's genius if they are not allowed in.

@grand-duc : Kazuya Minekura, the author, seems to have a chronic condition or something, I think. Her publishing rate is extremely slow and erratic and every time I look up info it says she’s been sick and couldn’t produce much, so while I don’t have verified info about this, that’s what sounds probable to me, though I might be wrong.

Either way, she’s a very slow producer and her Manga isn’t the kind of easy to sell series that get big followings and large prints (in part, I suspect, because her style isn’t as smooth as more popular series (it’s reaaaaally far from CLAMP’S streamlined designs for ex, which is what seemed to influence the a French market the most, as far as I could tell) and in other parts because her characters are fucked up, 30ish years old weirdos with booze problems and issues up the wazoo including but not limited to: a guy who massacred a thousand people after they killed his sister/wife, a guy who is literally a hybrid between two species and suffers from a lot of racism from both sides, a guy who’s been on a vengeance quest since he was 13ish, and a guy who is actually a demigod and whose only protection against berserker rage is a golden headband. It’s just…kind of deeper and darker than most series that get a lot of attention but it also kind of asks real questions that are, actually, applicable to today’s world in many ways.), which creates a certain rarity, which in turn creates higher prices (the usual price is between 10-11€).

She’s kind of a cult author, from what I can tell. People who love her works *really love* her works but she doesn’t seem to be very well known even among Manga readers (at least in France, no idea about other countries).

And now I’m regretting not taking my volumes even more tbh I wish I could reread them and give you guys a livreread because this series is SO GOOD ♡

anonymous asked:

How do you talk about disability in Spanish? I know it depends on the disability, but is there any good general vocab to know?

The word that I think is most used now is la discapacidad which is “handicap” or “disability”

You do sometimes see la incapacidad though that also means “inability to do (something)” and isn’t strictly limited to disabilities.

The oldest word for it is la minusvalía but I don’t think that’s a common word for it anymore. It still shows up in some of the reading and vocab lists.

In my experience, they’re kind of synonymous but la discapacidad sort of carries the meaning of “can do the thing, but are at a disadvantage”, while the other two imply “are unable to do the thing at all”

From what I’ve heard, people prefer la discapacidad or discapacitado/a because la minusvalía or minusválido/a can literally mean “less useful” though the more literal translation for English is “invalid”. There are people who avoid that word because it implies they aren’t useful or wanted in society, though in common speech they tend to use both.

You either see la discapacidad física “physical handicap” or la discapacidad mental “mental handicap”, and there are specific words for exactly what the handicap is.

The most common ones I know of are:

  • ciego/a = blind
  • sordo/a = deaf
  • mudo/a = mute
  • sordomudo/a = deaf and mute
  • lisiado/a = crippled
  • cojo/a = lame (as in having a limp)
  • paralizado/a = paralyzed
  • parapléjico/a = paralegic
  • cuadripléjico/a, tetrapléjico/a = quadriplegic
  • autista = autistic
  • disléxico/a = dyslexic
  • el asma = asthma

You also have the words retrasado/a or retardado/a which are used for mental retardation, but they can be just as offensive when used in correctly in Spanish as they are in English.

Past that, you go into the more mental realm which usually involves the words el trastorno “disorder” or el síndrome “syndrome”… like el trastorno obsesivo compulsivo which is also called TOC but it’s OCD or obsessive compulsive disorder, then you have something like el síndrome de déficit atencional “attention deficit disorder / ADD”

You also end up talking about mental illness, which is a different kind of disability, and they usually look like the words in English la depresión, el trastorno bipolar, la esquizofrenia 

But these are considered different kinds of disabilities, or conditions that are potentially disabling.

And you also have las condiciones crónicas “chronic conditions”, or something like el dolor crónico “chronic pain” or la fibromialgia.


For disorders and diseases you usually see something like… leve “light”, moderado/a “moderate”, and severo/a or grave for “severe” or “serious”

You can also see agudo/a which normally means “sharp”, but in medical situations means “acute”

You might also see parcial “partial” or total for some illnesses.

But you should also know la enfermedad is “illness/sickness”, and el síntoma “symptom”


Past that, I’m not really an expert, so you’d probably find better material for individual things, or even googling something like cómo hablar sobre las discapacidades “how to talk about disabilities”

(And because I’m not an expert, if any of the native speakers want to chime in or tell me I got something wrong, please do because medical things in general are not my forte)


EDIT: Especially for physical disabilities, you sometimes see de nacimiento “from birth”, so sordo/a de nacimiento means that the person was born deaf. If there was a specific thing, it’s usually indicated by a por… so possibly por un accidente “due to an accident”, or por una enfermedad “due to illness”

EDIT2:

studytolive replied:

I’ve been told you shouldn’t say discapacitado but “persona de capacidades diferentes” instead.

Let’s talk about pining shiro. Pining shiro with a small streak of jealousy and trying to ignore it vehemently because he thinks he’s better than this, he’s better than feeling put out whenever keith starts aiming that smile to the rather good looking alien by the bar

The jealousy isn’t chronic, it isn’t something to the point of alarmingly manic like he’ll sometimes see in movies; but it’s enough that he’s able to feel the spike of it shoot through his chest, to make him take a hypothetical broom and beat the stupid thing into a bloody pulp because no no no he’ll not be like this when keith is only trying to make friends get yourself together shirogane-

He’s secretive about, so no one notices (at first) that he’s become tense the whole time while the alien tips his head back and laughs at something dry keith’s said, no one notices the way shiro tries to not pay them too much attention when they’re supposed to have fun and let out the stress

This isn’t letting out the stress, this is shiro bring ridiculous and yet, he’s itching to just slide beside keith and start talking because hey keith isn’t it better if we sit that side of the room-

Shiro forces himself to tear his gaze away and take a big gulp of his drink, and once he sets his tall glass on the counter a bit rashly than he intended, he realises his mistake.

Because hunk is staring at him from where he’s seated beside him, and shiro tries to ignore the way his warm brown eyes glints in amusement.

(“you’re bad at this” hunk rumbles past the rim of his glass, and the grin is wide as he takes a sip. “you could’ve just, I don’t know, actually go there and woo him, y'know?”)

Shiro insists to himself he isn’t blushing too hard (but hunk snickers all the same) and mumbles something incoherent about wanting to have some air and leaves

It’s getting hard to keep it to himself as time passes, and it’s not his fault that keith is gorgeous and everyone would want to touch his shoulder, or even sit close to him as they can without missing a limb

His teammates are starting to pick up his behaviour and shiro isn’t amused at how they’re not being entirely quiet about it everytime he and keith are within arm’s length, snickering loudly and wiggling their eyebrows from across the room

One time, pidge makes a ‘slip’ by letting altean love songs boom throughout the whole castle, lance and hunk makes matching handknitted sweaters that have halves of a heart on each of them and pointedly stands next to each whenever all of them are in the same room, while allura and coran keeps talking about how king alfor always treats her mother something sweet candidly while roping keith into the conversation while they can

Shiro only thanks god that keith only stares at them in some confusion and horror

(“ah, don’t worry,” coran says lowly, slapping a hand on shiro’s back while allura continues to tell a bewildered keith the snapper plant king alfor gave her mother when they were young. “you’ll have your time to do it”)

They’ve been edging him to confess because, apparently, “let’s face it,” lance begins from where he’s sprawled on the sofa. “he’ll never know unless you go say it to him, and you’ll only abuse yourself by not doing anything.”

He can’t, shiro can’t say it and he thinks he will eventually but at the moment he can’t

He’ll do it, not long in the future he hopes, but at the moment, where he doesn’t even have any faith in his own survival?

Yeah, it’s probably bad to do it when he’s on his death bed, and it’ll probably be awkward in the end but,

Paladin of voltron or no, he’ll have to gather his wits first in order to confess to his crush

Lack Of Sleep

Loki X Reader

Request:  What if there was a insomniac reader and they were a Avenger. She gets along well with everyone except Loki, knowing all the bad things he’s done. But one night when she can’t sleep, he comes to her with a proposal. If she gains mutual respect for him, he will help her sleep. She is doubtful but, she eventually agrees. He then helps her.

A/n: Took me a little while, but it’s done! Yet again i’m trying a bit of a new style of writing. We’ll see how it goes.

Originally posted by avengers-of-mirkwood


You wandered the dark halls of the huge avengers building, lazily holding out one of your hands as you walked so you could feel the wall on your right. You had lost track of how long you’d been up, but that was normal. For years you’ve had chronic insomnia. Something that you learned to accept and deal with, but at a lot of costs. You couldn’t fall asleep one day, then the next day you couldn’t stay asleep. It seemed like you would always be tired and never satisfied.

“Could you not do that. It’s completely annoying and pointless.” you heard a quiet voice say. Instantly you knew who it was. Constantly annoyed sounding voice? check, lower tone? check. Always sounds like they’re talking down to a person? check. It had to be Loki.

“Oh, it’s you.” you muttered a lazy reply, definitely not wanting to deal with him at the time. You turned on your heels, avoiding to avoid more interaction with him. But of course he appeared in front of you.

“Y/l/n.” he tilted his head.

“What are you doing up this late.” you asked blankly, crossing your arms around your chest. The fact that you hated him was something you didn’t ever hide. Nor did you care to.

“I was going to see if you were alright. But apparently teammates can’t actually be buddies.” His long black hair swayed a bit as he talked. He looked very different in regular clothes. Borderline ridiculous in pjs.

“Tell me the real reason,” you said, trying to keep some of your calm. “And we’re not teammates.”

“I meant it,”

“…Sure.”

“See I just don’t get why you have a problem with me! All I do is treat you well and you  continue to throw me away like some piece of trash.” He said in a calm manner, but somehow still showing the rage behind it. You had never seen him act like that. Passive aggressive, yes. But upset cause you didn’t love him? Never. It was always a mutual hating. So you couldn’t wrap your head around his anger.

“That’s cause you see trash, Loki. You almost ruined the whole world and not to mention killed people!”

“In the past.” He cocked an eyebrow, giving you a look you could only read as devilish. “And you’ve done some stuff that’s worse than even I could do.”

“Bullshit.” It took you a minute to answer, completely shocked at what he had said. The words repeated in your head a few times.

Of course he wasn’t right… Right.

“Oh, honey, let’s not go down this path.” His almost constant smirk re appeared.

“Can you go away before I make you?” You hissed.

“I’ve come here to make a deal wit you."his sly tone was very un trusting. So much so you thought he was joking.

"A deal to sell my soul I assume?” Loki  laughed at that slightly.

“Haha. A deal to help out your little sleep problem.” You tilted your head, wondering where he was getting at.

“What is this.” You narrowed your eyes at him, looking him up and down to see if he was lying.

“I would help you sleep at night if you started to respect me.”

“No. Absolutely not. I could never trust a pig like you.”

“Okay then. Come to me when you cave.” He walked away, leaving you there slightly stunned and quite perplexed. You had your morals, but how could you not take a thing like that? What you had wanted for years and years. Only for simply being nice to a horrible person.

You called out in the hall, wanting to agree to it before you regretted it. God what were you getting yourself into.


“I have to thank you.” You set your hand down on the table was sitting at, reading the paper and crinkly coffee. Something you never got why he did.

“Is the great y/n y/l/n actually going to admit that I’m only helpful?” He was making you dread your decision automatically. But for once you wanted to put aside your little  feud

“No. But I will admit that you’re okay. That was the best sleep I’ve gotten in years.” “All thanks to you. So I owe you a thank you.”

“Of course. Maybe you should be nice to me like this all the time. You could get great reward.”

“If that means what I think it means then you need to fuck off.”

First Dates w Seventeen: Mingyu
  • So when it comes to Mingyu and his feelings, he’s pretty transparent
  • Like, he’s pretty obvious about the fact that he has a crush on you
  • Like he flirts so unashamedly and everyone else around the two of you picked up on it pretty quickly
  • Once Mingyu worked out that he liked you, he was basically like ‘yep, I like them that’s cool’
  • He’s always giving you compliments that are kind of greasy, but they’re coming from a good place
  • And he’s just so fond and soft and he’s honestly like a puppy
  • The literal definition of puppy love
  • And he doesn’t even care that he’s obvious because it’s how he feels and he’s comfortable with it
  • You, on the other hand, struggled with your feelings for a little bit
  • Like you knew that you liked him, but you weren’t so sure where he stood
  • But, for a little while, you were like “oh… I can’t be sure… he’s very fond with all of his friends so, you know… I can’t be certain…”
  • So your flirtationship goes on for a while
  • Until one day, you’re hanging out with Minghao, who turns to you and deadass asks “so, when are you going to ask Mingyu out?”
  • You almost choke on your drink because wHAT THE HELL YOU Don’T ASK PEOPLE THAT
  • You manage to regain your composure and you’re like “I don’t know what you’re talking about”
  • And Minghao just gives you The LookTM
  • And you shrivel up because he’s onto you
  • He just goes “you know you’re not fooling anyone, right”
  • And you’re Dying
  • “Does he know?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Is it possible that Anwar and Bella are faking Lyme since they both treat themselves like shit?

Loooooong post. I haven’t talked about this before (literally search the word “lyme” through the blog and maybe two things pop up? And its only referencing not discussing) and I’m probably not talking about it further? I have done deeeeeep research into the Hadids, Bella, and Lyme as a whole for well over a year now. In, fact I really started looking into this right after I started my blog. It was definitely one of the first things I dove into and the first thing I ever heard about Bella and instantly thought was shady. 

My opinions are fully formed and not subject to change. Bella looking me in the eyes and telling me I’m wrong literally would never change 90% of what I have written below. 

I have never had any intention on sharing these feelings, hence why you’ve never heard me talk about fully before (I have made vague reference here and there, more so on the confessions blog). This was always something that I figured I wouldn’t bring up until mainstream media started discussing it and I had to. Regardless, I don’t care any more. I can say whatever I want here and this opinion of mine isn’t any less valid than the rest just because it’s fringe and more speculatory. I tried to back up everything I have to say and cover all my basis’ which is why it’s so long. 

I can’t stop you guys from sending in any asks/questions/counter arguments but unless you have something really out there, I’m not gonna answer. Sorry, not interested in this being a full-blown discussion.

Anyways:

Keep reading

Zaynab Shahar

1. How long have you been polyamorous or been practicing polyamory?

I’ve been practicing polyamory for about five years now.

2. What does your relationship dynamic look like?

I identify as being solo poly. I don’t have a primary or secondary partner. I don’t place partners on a hierarchy. Instead, I focus more on having intentional, healthy, consensual, safe relationships with each partner in the time we spend together. Currently, I solo and single. My friend K.C Slack once tweeted that she sees her partners as constellations that are all important to her galaxy, or something to that effect. I remember reading it and thinking “that’s a damn dreamy way to think about it,” and since I’m a huge astronomy and astrology nerd that resonates with me on so many levels.

3-5. What aspect of polyamory do you excel at? What aspect of polyamory do you struggle with? How do you address and/or overcome those struggles?

I don’t know if the language of excel/struggle really encompasses how I understand myself, potentially because I read them as a wee too binary for my taste. I would say I strive to be a person who regularly utilizes active listening and compassionate response all in the context of providing emotional labor to my partners. I tend to focus more on providing emotional labor to my partners and really struggle with letting people in to do the same for me. I have trust issues based on having emotionally abusive relationships early on as a queer teenager, so I’m reluctant to just be vulnerable and share my problems with my partners for fear that it’s going to come back to bite me in the ass in the form of gaslighting.

Subsequently, I have a hard time allowing people to reciprocate partner care when it comes to living with chronic pain, and that’s something I routinely struggle with. For example one of the things I’ve realized in coming into polyamory and living with chronic pain at the same time is that people struggle with straddling the line between providing care and being ableist (even if they don’t intend to be). I started to realize this after my first non-monogamous relationship in undergrad ended my first year of grad school and my chronic pain struggles progressively got worse. As we were working on reconciling our breakup into a friendship she would spend time at my house when I didn’t have the spoons to leave the house. She was very intent on “helping me” but her version of help never included asking me what my accessibility needs were. She would just declare that she was going to do something for me, do it, and if I objected she would get offended without ever considering that she was trampling over my autonomy. Fast forward to the present, I walk with a cane and a visible limp. I have a hard time communicating to multiple partners what my accessibility needs are, and hell even keeping track of where accessibility/ableism conversations are at with all of my partners because I believe it’s an ongoing process. So I’m trying to learn how to be better at receiving; whether it’s care, compassion, listening, or love, and not just shut myself off to my polycule because it’s easier than trying to tell people what I want in fear of being hurt or disappointed at the outcome. At the same time, I’m learning how to straddle the line between receiving care and not having my autonomy trampled on. Like I remember the day after going on a friend date with another poly person, she texted me to ask how I was doing. I texted back to say that minus dealing with the typical amount of morning pain I was doing okay. She began asking me all these questions about me and chronic pain and I flatly texted her back “ya know I don’t find my issues with chronic pain all that fascinating of a topic of conversation.” Thankfully she understood that I wasn’t trying to be rude, but that sometimes when you live with a certain amount of pain of a daily basis talking about it ad nauseam requires you to focus on it more than you potentially care to. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to receive her concern, but I also don’t want to make my chronic pain the topic of post-date conversation. There are so much more fascinating things to be texting about at 10am in the morning, lol.

6. In terms of risk-aware/safer sex, what do you and your partners do to protect one another?

I practice safer sex practices with all of my partners, necessary contraceptives and all. Additionally where they are some partners who I engage in fluid bonding oral sex with there are others partners that I won’t. It really depends on our sexual dynamic, since all of my partners have overlap between engaging me in a non-monogamous sense and also in a BDSM/kink sense as well. So penetrative and/or fluid bonding sex doesn’t always come into play when it comes to the different sexual engagements I have with my partners.

7. What is the worst mistake you’ve ever made in your polyamorous history and how did you rebound from that?

I think the worst mistake I made in my polyamorous history was joining the Polyamory group on facebook that has like 20,000+ members. I literally witnessed a conversation where people were attempting to defend (tw: sexual violence) –> having sex with your partner while they’re asleep, which in my mind is an aspect of rape culture. The conversation just got wildly triggering and out of control as the subcomment threads kept pouring in. And I remember not only leaving the group but being deeply reluctant to join any poly digital spaces that didn’t have explicit anti-oppression and/or social justice commitments attached to them because watching people actively defend rape culture was just entirely too much for my psyche. But at the same time it was triggering for my it reaffirmed why anti-oppression poly praxis is necessary.

Quite frankly there are too many people floating out there in the polyverse thinking “oh just because I’m poly and oppressed by monogamous oriented society and I don’t have to do any critical introspection.” Meanwhile, at the same time so many folx within poly culture uphold oppressive ideologies that have dangerous implications to them they wonder why folx with marginalized identities avoid poly spaces like the plague. Like I don’t want to dispose of people who need radical re-education vis a vie oppression because disposability is a form of carceral logic. Our society already disposes of people who commit crimes without any consideration as to the societal conditions that make crime possible and in some cases necessary for survival, let alone our impulses to criminalize certain behaviors under the guise that it will make us safer when it hasn’t thus far. We dispose of people who are sick, neuroatypical, disabled, elderly in various ways because within the context of capitalism if you can’t be productive you’re rendered worthless. So if we relate this to poly culture, disposing of people from poly culture because they hold fucked up oppressive opinions might be good in the short term, but does nothing in the long term to actually bring about structure, systemic, and/or cultural change within our communities. If you ban someone from a Poly facebook group for upholding rape culture, that doesn’t mean the next edition of the Ethical Slut is going to have more extensive commentary on why it’s important to apply anti-oppression frameworks to the construction of our relationships and communities. One doesn’t translate into the other. Nor do those people really learn why what they said was wrong or fucked up to begin with, they just know they got banned. Additionally, the people in the group might be at varying stages of critical consciousness and maybe the only thing they take away from that is what not to say, which is only a small part of the picture. As these critical changes from margin to center are happening, we have to be careful not to replicate existing oppressive logics in order to regulate the safety of our communities. Now, with that being said, some people just can’t be saved. Like if you’re intent on being a rapist or defending rapists, with some Donald Trump style indignation or something, there’s no wiggle room in that time and place and that needs to be recognized and named. But just disposing of people because they don’t say the right thing all the time or they don’t pick up on certain things fast enough doesn’t work for me, cause unlearning (and really learning in general) is a lifelong process that can’t be shortcutted or treated as some sort of social currency to gain access to spaces.

anonymous asked:

hello!! I love your blog it makes me want to cry omg. so, I'm not positive if you're taking hc requests still, but I would love to see your take on the Paladins reacting/dealing with an s/o's chronic nightmares, or something of the sort. I need this in my life pls omg

It’s mod Enki! I actually used to get sleep paralysis all the time when I was little and it freaked me out so much. I had some weird nightmares, too but I was lucky it didn’t continue into my later life ahhh. 


Shiro:

  • Let’s be honest here, Shiro probably has chronic nightmares from his time in the Galra prisons so he relates the most to his s/o if they have the same issue. Well, even if their nightmares are for different things it’s still nice to have someone there who understands more than than the average Joe. 
  • Depending on the severity of the nightmares and how frequent they are it’ll worry him especially if his s/o is losing sleep over it. He totally gets not wanting to sleep because when you run the chance of having a terrifying nightmare every time you want to go to sleep, it becomes something you try to avoid no matter what. Even if his s/o wakes him up because of their nightmares he will always stay up with them if they really need him to.

  • If his s/o happens to get a lot of sleep paralysis he’ll definitely get super worried about them and will do anything in his power to help his s/o try to stop it or lessen the effect. He might consult the others to see of they know a remedy or medicine that will help. More than anything he’s the most understanding and helpful because he keeps a good composure and calm to keep his s/o grounded

Lance:

  • He tries. Even though he might not be the most willing to lose sleep over his s/o’s nightmares he will definitely try his best to stay up with them after they have a nightmare. He’s a weenie though so he’ll end up falling asleep before his s/o unfortunately. 
  • Lance isn’t really sure how to help with the issue and really pushes himself to understand it. He understands how bad nightmares are and how they affect his s/o but he doesn’t really understand how they’re having to many of them. He’s especially terrified of when his s/o gets any sleep paralysis because he has no idea what to do. 

  • He won’t wake up when his s/o wakes up from a nightmare so they’ll have to force him awake for him to be any help at all. Of course he’ll be groggy and acting like a drunk but he’ll take his s/o into his arms and mumble, “It’s going to be okay, I promise,” and other such things until he ends up passing tf out again. He’s not much use when he’s asleep or half awake but if his s/o needs to talk about their nightmares to him and vent he will always be there to listen.

Keith:

  • He’s at a loss, too. His s/o is gonna have to walk him through the whole thing and even then he isn’t sure why it’s so bad. It’s just a dream?? He thinks that it isn’t something to really stress over but he’ll try to help them if he can. Sometimes he ends up being about as helpful as a wet piece of lettuce but other times he’s pretty tender on how to get his s/o to calm down from a nightmare. 
  • If his s/o jumps awake from a nightmare there’s about a 101% chance he will too because he’s usually always on his toes anyways. Even if he can’t really do anything to help, just being there to let his s/o know that he’s there and their nightmare can’t hurt them is good enough. As much as he doesn’t really know how to help he honestly hates seeing his s/o cry. He’s awkward with his comforting of course but he tries.

  • His bluntness might seem like it’s not something that would help but it really does become oddly reassuring. When he says it’s just a nightmare it jars his s/o back to their senses until they can go, “Yeah, it is just a nightmare,” and learn that their dreams can’t hurt them. If his s/o really needs it he’ll always hold them after a nightmare to help them feel safe and sound. Will turn over when he knows his s/o is awake and nag them to go to sleep.

Hunk: 

  • Will panic pls he’s just so concerned for his s/o. If his s/o wake ups with a start he will wake up the same well. He’s super empathetic when it comes to his s/o so there’s no doubt he’ll be just as frazzled as they are until he realizes that he wasn’t the one with the nightmare. Immediately tries to help his s/o calm down and will go off and get them something to drink and maybe their favorite snack if it’s a especially bad one. 
  • He’s so worried about his s/o getting enough sleep because he couldn’t imagine have chronic nightmares. One of the best people to comfort someone so when he’s with his s/o he’ll rub their back and talk softly to calm them down. The only thing he wouldn’t really know what to do about is if his s/o has sleep paralysis. He has zero clue on how to even go about helping his s/o when it happens so he just tries to hold their hand or something until they can get out of it. 

  • Very proactive about getting his s/o something that will help stop their chronic nightmares. He’ll ask anyone he can find and try to bring his s/o something that will help lessen their troubles. Tries to stay up with his s/o when they can’t sleep but he’s not the best at staying awake. When he wakes up and realizes he fell asleep he’ll apologize to them about a dozen times. 

Pidge:

  • Fusses over her s/o quite a bit. Knowing her she’ll try to look up any sort of remedy/medicine/food that could help her s/o. She doesn’t get enough sleep as it is so staying up to try and help her s/o in some shape or form doesn’t really bother her. Surprisingly patient with them and will listen to them talk about their nightmares and help them get past it. 
  • She has her own nightmares occasionally concerning her brother or her dad so she knows that nightmares might be based off some sort of fear for something. If she can she’ll try to help them get past their fears in hopes that they can get past it and therefore let them sleep with less nightmares. She will take the most scientific approach to the whole thing and really go to find the root of the issue.
  • Even if nothing she does ends up working she’ll try to just help her s/o through their nightmares the best she can. Sleep paralysis might not be something she can help with and more than anything it’ll scare her a bit. Always up for after nightmare cuddles with her s/o to help them get back to sleep.
Lovely psychopath Part 1

So, this is gonna be my first Criminal Minds story. I hope the characters are not to much ooc.
As always excuse spelling and grammar mistakes, when there is something to correct just tell me.
Otherwise have fun.

summary: Imagine you are a psychopath who was arrested because you killed many people. Now you where helping the BAU and after a while Spencer falls in love with you. The other members of the team try to protect Reid from you while you get involved in more and more cases.


I had the idea in my head for a long time. Fortunately I don’t know an psychopath so I googled it. Be prepared for some mistakes. XD

“JJ!” “What is it Hotch?” “Call the others. I have something to tell them.” “Of course. They will be in the meeting room in a few minutes.” “Thanks JJ.”
Agent Hotchner went straight to the meeting room while JJ informed the others to meet him there.
“What happened. Do you have a new tip for our case?” Asked Derek as he entered the room.
“No but I have something to tell you. Take a seat.” Emily and Reid looked at each other in confusion. “So what is it?” Now Rossi asked.
“You all know that the case we work on is one of the hardest we ever had. It is week now and we still don’t have any new hints while still people get kidnapped, tortured and killed. I don’t blame you we all do our best to solve this case. However, Strauss decided that we need help.” Aaron says with a sigh. “What is the problem? We had help in many cases before.” Derek asked. “The person who should help is is Y/n L/n.” Silence filled the room. “You mean the Y/n L/n who killed 20 to 30 People? The Y/n L/n who is clearly classified as an psychopath?” Now it was Reids turn to ask in disbelieve. “Will we visit her in prison?” JJ raised an eyebrow.
“That is the most displeasing part. She will come to the bureau.” Hotch closed his eyes and sight. “No way. This is crazy. It cant be what Strauss wants.” Derek reply. “I’m as unhappy about it as you are but it is still an order and we don’t have another choice.” A heated discussion started between the members of the team.
“Enough! I know we are all against this but we can’t do anything against it. We should prepare everything, she will be here in twenty minutes.”

The atmosphere was as cold as ice as the elevator opened and two police men with a woman between them left. She had h/c hair, e/c eyes, s/c skin and even if she was only y/h feet high she wasn’t to underestimate. In her c/c clothes she would look like a normal person except from her handcuffs.
She smiled as she entered the bureau and turned her head in different ways while they walked to the meeting room. Aaron talked with one of the police men then he waved the others to join them.
Y/n sat at the head of the table while her guards stand behind her observed every movement she made.
Derek and Rossi sat next to her, then JJ and Emily and at the opposite side Spencer. He felt uncomfortable but tried to hide it. Aaron was the only one walking up and down the room.
“So, tell me. Why am I here? What is so tricky that the great FBI can’t figure it out.” Y/n teased with a big smile.
“Several cases of kidnapping, torturing and killings. Most of the victims are women and we only found dead women but none of the men. All of them where pregnant and had given birth but we couldn’t find the babies. Some of them had their teeth and fingernails pulled out. A few of them have marks from electric shocks.” While talking Aaron walked through the room, monitoring every facial expression of Y/n.
After he stopped talking Y/n waved her hand as a sign that he should hand her the files her face bare of every emotion. Derek shifted in his seat as if he wanted to take the documents with the pictures from her.
Y/n ignored the writings and took the photos and spread them in front of her. She arranged them that the males where at the one side and the female on the other. “From where do you know that this cases belong to each other?” The h/c haired woman wanted to know.
“The procedure is always the same.” Derek answered short and concise. Y/n nodded.
“Did you figure out the similarities?” “There aren’t any.” Rossi interposed. “Of course there are. You haven’t searched good enough.” “We have! That is why we know there aren’t any similarities! The victims all have different hair colours, skin colour, highs, jobs and lifestyles!” Morgan seemed to be very pissed and Aaron darted an warning look at his agent. Y/n only rolled her eyes.
“No reason to be so sharp. It’s not my fault you didn’t do your job correct.” Y/n braced her head with her right hand. “Then tell us what we missed.” interjected JJ to avoid a fight between the two of them.
“It’s their health condition.” said the h/c haired woman while she played with her hair.
“What brings you to this conclusion? I mean, none of them had an chronic disease or something similar.” As Reid started talking Y/n’s head snapped up and she began to smile. “Exactly Agent-I-think-I-didn’t-get-your-name.” “Reid, ahm Dr. Spencer Reid.” He blushed. Y/n could tell she made him uncomfortable and it was fun to her. “That’s not important. Tell us what you know.” Hotch demanded. Y/n only sighed and played with her hair again. “It is exactly how Dr. Spencer Reid mentioned.” She gave him a wink and Spencer shifted in his seat.
“They where all healthy and in a good shape. Ideal if you want to breed.”
“Breed?” asked JJ with an horrified expression. “That’s what I said.” “Ok step by step. What brings you to this idea?” Derek claimed to know. “Easy. It where the electro shocks. They where used to push them very fast through birth. It is the same method some farmers use. Because of the shocks the muscles clench and the baby gets squeezed out. So it only lasts a few minutes.” Silence filled the room. Finally it was Emily who questioned: “Why would anybody do this? Where is the sense?”
“Human trafficking.” Y/n answered shuffling her feet. “And you are absolutely sure?” Rossi stood up. “Of course I am.” Y/n snorted.
“Well, it would explain why we never found the men. They are used as breeding bull’s.” Reid blurted out. “Metaphorical of course.” He added as everybody looked at him.
“Exactly. So, when do we kick the asses of this scumbags?” Y/n smiles.
“You will go back to prison. What we do is not your business.” Hotch commanded.
“Party pooper!” Y/n shouted out while the police men picked her up again and pushed her out of the room.

-time skip-

The BAU was able to catch one of the kidnappers but unfortunately he committed suicide in his cell. Now the team started again at the beginning.
“Hotch, what shall we do? We are running out of time. They already know that we are close to their heels and they will kill all of them to erase all traces.” Dereks voice was low and he seemed exhausted, everyone of the team did. “I don’t know Derek. We checked every abandoned building, warehouses, freight container, every farm hell we even checked every garden centre.” Aaron kneaded his temples. Silence filled the room. Everyone was tired and they didn’t had any hint.
Reid was the first one to speak: “I unwillingly suggest this, but what if we ask Y/n for help?” Derek raised his head. “This would be crazy!” “But maybe the only opportunity we have. She helped us once, maybe she does it again. Reid, Rossi you go to the prison and talk with Y/n. The rest of us go through the documents. Maybe we can find something.” The dark haired agent ordered. “I?” stuttered Spencer. “Yes, you. It was your idea. Hurry up we do not have much time.”
So Rossi and Reid left the BAU to talk to Y/n.

Y/n sat handcuffed at a desk as they arrived. She smirked. “Hello gentlemen. What can I offer you? Tea, coffee, cake or cookies?” Now she laughed.
“We don’t have the time so I will make it quick.” Said Rossi as they sat down on the chairs at the other side of the table.
“We need your help again. The BAU was able to catch one of the kidnappers but he committed suicide and even if we checked every possible hideout we couldn’t find anything. No men, no women, no babies and no dead bodies.”
“Am I right when I guess that you searched only in Quantico?” “And a few miles beyond.” Added Reid. Y/n glanced at him and smiled. “And exactly this is the problem.” “What do you mean?” Asked Rossi.
Y/n sighed. “If you want to breed you need a place in the middle of nowhere. With nothing miles and miles around. Nobody sees them and nobody hears them. So easy. They don’t think of them as humans only as animals.” “Where should we search?” Rossi leaned forward. “This agent will cost you something.” The h/c haired woman said with a low voice. “Where not here to make deals.” Rossis voice had an impending undertone. “Then Mr. FBI Man, it was nice seeing you again. You will find them sooner or later. I hope you are not to disappointed if it takes longer.” She smiled again.
“Ok, what do you want?” Spencer intervened. “What can you offer Dr. Spencer Reid?” Y/n smiled at him. “We can make a deal with the prison director. You can have books, something to draw or write, maybe an computer.” Rossi glanced at Reid who was getting nervous and hectic.
The woman on the other side of the table smiled and leaned back in her chair.
“No.” Was her simple answer. The two agents looked at each other. “Give us a moment.” With this words David and Spencer stood up and took a few steps away from her.
“Ok Reid we have to thing and that very fast. We never thought about a deal and lets be honest we don’t have much what we can offer. So, what can we do?”
“Why are you asking me?”
“You are the genius, tell me.”
“Ahm……ok let me think. Mh……..there is not much what we can do. Maybe we can ask her again. There is not much time left. What if they kill the women, men and babies right in this moment? I think we have to take this risk.”
Rossi nodded but seemed not happy about it. “All right, lets give it a try.”
Both agents went back to the table.
“Listen Y/n time is running out. Just tell us what you want and we will see what we can do.”
Y/n smiled. “Glad for you I have this guard as an witness. Otherwise I would say no. Ok, here is the deal. At first I want to be transferred to an asylum.” Again Rossi and Reid looked at each other. “And second?” The older agent asked. “I want to want in when you kick the asses of them.”
For a moment they hesitated but then Rossi nodded and sighed in agreement.
“Very well gentlemen. It is a pleasure to make a deal with you.” Y/n smirked and leaned forward.
“Now listen! I tell you what you have to do.”

anonymous asked:

How do you make friends and be a person when you hear people's traumas and secrets and fears for a living? Do you make connections as deep as your clients do with you in your personal life? Do any of your strategies for making (or helping) people talk slip into, say, your interactions with friends? How does it work?

How do you make friends and be a person when you hear people’s traumas and secrets and fears for a living? If you do this job for any length of time, you have to be compartmentalize. Work is work. Home is home. Does countertransfer about clients sometimes come up? Sure. But you need to manage it like you would manage any other work stuff showing up at home. Therapist me and Friend me aren’t exactly the same person and my therapist hat comes off. Or at least I work to take it off when I’m not at work. I make friends the same way as others my age - I have friends from high school, undergrad and graduate school. I have friends I met through my partner or through therapist related activities (consult group, etc.). I have friends through mutual interests. If you take your work home with you all the time, you will burn out and be a shitty therapist.

Do you make connections as deep as your clients do with you in your personal life? I’m exactly not sure what you mean but I’ll try. I’m not having soul-bearing, music listening, whiskey drinking, mindblowing conversations with my clients you know? But I can have those with my friends. I have worked a lot in the last 5-10 years to cultivate and nurture those relationships. My connection with my clients is very very different. Yesterday, I posted an ask on friendship and depression. In my personal life, that 50/50 on average split is what I’m aiming for. In therapy, it doesn’t matter what’s going on with me. I’m showing up, to the best of my ability, 100% for the client. It’s my job. Even it’s something like chronic illness, which has and will continue to come up, the conversation is about acknowledging the brace/cane/etc or the dislocation and a) moving on to the rest of the session or b) cancelling and rescheduling with client. It’s not about how I feel. I can use my feelings in session but it’s always something I try and think about before I do. If a friend does something shitty, I say, “HEY friend. That was shitty. Stop fucking doing it.” If a client behaves poorly, I have to handle it differently. I think in some ways, this blog bridges the gap for me. There are things I would want to tell clients but can’t because it’s not in the best interest of their treatment and you really need to examine when you are self-disclosing in a session.

Do any of your strategies for making (or helping) people talk slip into, say, your interactions with friends? One element of therapy that comes up a lot is the pattern making. I’ve trained my brain to look for and reflect those patterns and that doesn’t switch off. But that’s not always wanted when you are dishing to a friend so I’ll hold off on it usually. I also tend to be a better listener than I was when I was younger. I remember the conversations in my late teens/early twenties - especially around relationships - and being like “FUCK THAT DUDE/LADY/PERSON why don’t you break up with them?!” and like most of the time? That’s not what your friend wants. They want to be heard. Even if it’s not a good situation or a dv situation. I can now hold both elements - that I want my friend happy/safe but it’s their life and it’s hard too. They will make their own choices and I can just love them and be there for them. I guess that’s a holdover from my therapist hat too.

treflev  asked:

Do you think Cosette would've been happier/better raised if Fantine took her to Montreuil sur Mer? (since she could afford it, as Mr. Madeleine would've let her work for him anyway)

Taking as a given for the moment the idea that Fantine could have gotten employment with Cosette. and assuming that Fantine’s ailment wasn’t tuberculosis but something like chronic bronchitis that might have stayed manageable if she hadn’t been pushed to the very edge like that?

I think Cosette would have been just as happy, for sure. She’s a very happy kid in canon, once Valjean saves her; so that part’s trading one happiness for another. Definitely those years with the Thenardiers would have been better spent with her mom!

–And of course in M-sur-M, if Fantine HAD a job, there were actual childcare options– Cosette could still have gone to school, since Madeleine was funding one! Fantine was obviously ready to be an awesome single mom. 

Cosette would still have been a working-class kid in that timeline, which means she would have WORKED– but that could mean anything from piecework at home (like Fantine’s sewing) to factory labor to even maybe being a shop girl, depending on who she met and how things went. With the basics of reading and writing, Cosette would have had a real advantage in her labor market; she might even have gone to Paris some day, to seek her fortune. She’d have been well loved, and clearly Fantine WAS making enough money to support her (assuming, always, the bead factory stays there and Madeleine doesn’t get ousted), so there’s no reason her life would have been notably unhappy! She just wouldn’t have been a bourgeois lady, is all (and so *probably* wouldn’t end up with Marius).  

This all also applies to what happens if Fantine just stays the heck in Paris and gets a job too– if we assume no tragedies of illness or accident, they’d be fine! Fantine is super tough and super caring. 

Of course in both these scenarios, Valjean misses out on raising Cosette, so we have to come up with a different scenario– maybe a couple of ex-innkeepers from Montfermeil wander through and he rescues THEIR kids when he sees how badly they’re treated?? But I am willing to go through a lotta AUs to keep Fantine and Cosette happy and together!